Chapter 4
Hera sat upright with a start, the remnants of protests and pleas lingering on her tongue, even as she felt the hot rays of a distant world against her face. As she blinked open her eyes, the illusion melted away, revealing the light of Ryloth's bright orange sun streaming across her room. As she sat there, trying to control her racing heart, the door slid open.
"Chop!" Instantly, she was out of bed, all its former comforts forgotten as Hera knelt down by the squat orange droid who was screaming at her.
"I'm sorry I didn't come see you sooner. I got home and went right to bed!" The droid didn't seem to believe her, blatting angrily.
"I know, no one here appreciates you like I do. But I'm back now." She paused, listening to him as he continued berating her "Where was I? I was delayed on my mission, that's all."
She and the droid locked both eyes and photoreceptors for a moment before Chopper accepted her excuse. "Okay, I'll get you an oil bath as soon as I can." She smiled, rubbing at some of the grime on the top of the droid's head. "Come on, let's see if Fen's up yet."
"She's a new friend." Hera explained. "She's a little lonely and scared right now so be nice."
Chopper made another noise of protest.
"I know you're always nice, but try extra hard with her okay?" The droid grumbled in acquiescence as Hera knocked on Fen's door.
"Good morning." Hera smiled at Fen, who still bore deep bags under her eyes, as though she had barely slept. The smile faltered slightly. "Are you alright?" As she watched, Fen seemed to draw within herself, straightening and brightening before she answered.
"I'm fine, how did you sleep?"
Hera paused a moment before letting the lie go unchallenged. "Pretty well." The nightmares aside."You hungry?" Fen nodded.
They had almost made it to the kitchens before they ran into Hera's father. "Good morning daughter," he paused and looked at his chrono, "or should I say afternoon?"
"Good afternoon father." Hera straightened her back instinctively, placing herself between Cham Syndulla and Fen.
"It's good to have you back." He inclined his head.
"It's good to be back." The slight tightness in Hera's voice echoed in the pause that followed. Eventually, he nodded and kept walking. She stared at his retreating back for a long moment before entering the kitchen and began to gather food with slightly more force than was strictly speaking necessary.
"Is everything alright?" Fen's voice was so quiet she almost missed it.
"Yeah," Hera sighed loudly, dispelling her own illusions. "I just always forget what it's like." Fen cocked her head to the side. "Being home," Hera amended. "His expectations, his …." She trailed off.
"I know something of what that's like." Fen looked down at her socked feet.
Hera looked around the kitchen, confirming they were alone before asking "What was it like? Growing up with the Jedi?" She still whispered the final word anyway.
"It was strict." Fen shrugged, not meeting Hera's gaze. "They expected a lot from us. There was a lot of training, a lot of rules." She looked up. "Did you tell your father what I was?"
"No, I..." She struggled for the words, "I don't want him to ….use you, I guess."
"Thank you." Her stuttering was rewarded with a smile that illuminated Fen's face, warmth filling her pale blue eyes. Hera smiled back, unreasonably happy with herself.
"Anyway." She pushed away her half eaten plate, Fen's food already gone. "Let's go."
Hera could have walked the route down to her workshop blindfolded and drunk. Clearly she was the only one, as when she opened the door, the scent of dust billowed out at her and the lights, when the turned on with a flicker, revealed the uninhabited space. Chopper gave a moan of dismay from somewhere around her knees as he saw the crusty residue in the oil bath.
"It's fine buddy." Hera patted the top of the droid's head, taking a quick inventory of the space. Layers of dust coated the surfaces and the tools she had left behind, a snapshot of life interrupted. Had it been left this way on purpose, waiting for her return? Had anyone wandered in her, briefly forgetting she was gone? Hera wasn't sure she wanted to know. For now, she pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind, sure they would resurface later.
"Can you help me with this?" She asked, gesturing to the oil bath. Fen nodded, grabbing a brush from the bench beside her.
It took longer than she had expected to get the place back in order, but with Chopper in the oil bath and out from under her feet, they managed to clean this place back to her satisfaction. "Well." Fen surveyed the room, hands on her hips. "It's barely recognizable." She had a smudge of dirt across the bridge of her nose. Hera's fingers twitched with the urge to wipe it off,but before she could act on it, the door hissed open.
"Father." Hera stiffened.
"Hera." His gaze swept the room, skipping over Fen once again. "You will be joining us for our mission this evening." It was not a question. Her tongue was ready with words of agreement before her brain had processed the words. Before the words lefts her lips she glanced at Fen and the words stopped.
"Actually," her heart seemed to be beating faster than normal. "Fen and I were going into Lessue tonight. I need supplies for Chopper and she needs some clothes." Her father looked at her, truly looked at her, his eyes boring into hers and she felt herself retreating.
"The droid parts are more important that the rebellion?" She was in too far now to back down.
"The rebellion will survive without me for one night."
"Very well." Cham's voice was as cold as ice. He left without looking back. As the door hissed shut, she let out a quiet sigh.
"That went better than expected." Hera managed a smile as she looked over at Fen.
"That was better?" Fen's eyes were wide as she regarded Hera.
"I was expecting him to insist." She shrugged as she attempted to inject her voice with some lightness. "Are you okay with going into town tonight?"
"Yeah." Fen looked at the overlarge clothes she had found in the spare room. "I could use something that fits."
Unable to resist any longer, Hera reached out towards Fen's face. "Sorry," She said as Fen flinched. "You have dirt on your nose, that's all." She stood as still as a statue as Hera rubbed at the patch of grime that marred her pale face.
"Let's go, Chopper needs to soak for a few more hours anyway." The droid grumbled from his bath, but made no further protestations.
"Are you going to fix that up?" Fen asked, her voice dubious as they walked into the hanger bay and were face to face with their stolen ship.
"Yeah, it has spunk." Hera smiled at the ship with more fondness than it deserved. It was now streaked with carbon scoring from the Empire's TIEs in addition to being covered in rust. "Don't worry!" She laughed as she saw Fen approach it with no small degree of trepidation. "We're going to take some other ship today."
"Good, I don't really feel like getting back into that death trap." Fen let out a nervous chuckle and backed away again, Hera's smile broadening still further.
"Gobi?" Hera noticed a blue twi'lek striding across the hanger bay. "What ship are you guys using tonight?"
"Hera!" He ran over and squeezed her into a hug before she could protest, her body going rigid as she braced for questions. "It's good to see you! Welcome back!" He took a step back to overseve her and smiled, hands on his hips.
"What ship are you using tonight?" She repeated
"The Lylek." He gestured over to a medium sized freighter before jerking back and staring at her in confusion. "You're not coming?"
"I just got back, I don't think I'm up for a mission just yet." Hera crossed her arms, bracing for impact.
"Are you sure? We could really use you tonight! I don't think I can take any more of Krev's flying!"
"I'm sorry, next time!" She said quickly. "I'm going into Lessu with the Mist then, I assume the clearance codes are up to date? Come one Fen." She didn't wait for Gobi to protest further as she strode as fast as she could across the tarmac, Fen half jogging to keep up with her.
In minutes, they were in the air and Hera sighed with relief as the ground fell away, along with much of her worry. The sky was bright and cloudless, the afternoon sun casting long shadows from the rock columns across the steppes. Beside her, Fen took in the scenery, devouring the new sites, squinting in the brilliant sun.
In what felt like no time at all, Hera put the ship down in the capital, the imperials having accepted her forged code clearance. Together, she and Fen stepped outside, into the late afternoon, where the orange of the setting sun reflected off of the high tan walls. For a moment, they both stood still. Fen with her head tilted up towards the sun, eyes closed and peaceful. Hera looked forward, breathing in the scent of spices in the air, absorbing the music and the laughter, feeling the heat of the clay walls after another day of blazing heat.
"Come on," Hera said eventually. Fen jerked slightly as she grabbed her hand, but she didn't pull away completely. She navigated with ease through the narrow streets, dodging vendors and stray animals, moving towards the music that always marked the center of the capital.
She was pleased to see that, despites the increased signs of the empire, in large holo-posters and occasional troopers in gleaming white, the city was still mostly unchanged from her last visit to her hometown. The spirit of her people would not be so easily crushed.
"Just here." She pulled fen though a low door and into a shop that seemed too full to be practical.
"Hera!" A voice called from behind a tower of machine parts. "You're back!"
"I sure am Zuvo." She smiled, weaving her way through the stacks of droid parts. "I need some more new servos for my astromech," she paused to smirk at the orange twi'lek. "Or at least some that are only lightly used."
"You insult me my dear." Zuvo said with a smile that suggested the opposite. "Just over here. I'm sure I have something for you."
"I'm sure you do." She said with a laugh
It was all a lot to take in. Fen felt as though her senses were being assaulted. Around her, musicians played and people crowded. Foreign smells lingered on her tongue, and her eyes ached taking in the colors and the chaos. She tried to shrug it off. Had she not once lived on Coruscant? Did she not remember how it felt to walk through crowds of thousands, to feel the weight of three trillion souls on her mind?
Her appeal to logic did little to calm her frantic heart.
"Come on," Hera was still holding her hand, solid and firm as they walked through the streets. Fen focused on that. "Let's get you something better to wear."
"I…" She stuttered, finally voicing her shame with hot shame in burning in her stomach."I don't have any credits." She had nothing but her name and the scarred remains of her body.
"That's fine." Hera waved her free hand, unconcerned. "I've got this." Her levity entirely failed to make Fen at ease. She had not come all this way to be beholden to someone else.
"I…" But even with just keeping these clothes, oversized and uncomfortable as they were, she would still be indebted.
"It's fine Fen." Hera stopped and looked directly into her eyes. Despite her fears, Fen could see the warmth there. "I have more than enough."
"Thank you." She managed and Hera squeezed her hand.
Trying on clothes was another nightmare all its own. Despite the baking heat of Ryloth, Fen was unwilling to reveal the scars that laced her body. However, the black turtleneck she had selected, despite Hera's dubious glace, clung painfully to the sores around her neck. The tightness against her throat caused her heart to clench, but the idea of walking out in the thin shirt that revealed the open wounds made her want to be sick. Her fingers hovering a hair's breadth from her neck, Fen stared into the mirror and her own pale face, white lips and pale blue eyes broken up by the dark bags underneath them. But her eyes were drawn ever downwards by the red mess around her neck and the bruises on her clavicles. Nothing would mark her as a former slave as fast as that.
She chose the turtleneck.
Hera gave her a confused look as they left, Fen pulling idly at the fabric around her neck, already starting to sweat in the cloying heat of the evening, but she remained silent as they walked to the nearest food vendors.
While Hera ordered something for the two of them, Fen stared out into the crowds, spotting the white armor of what could only be the stormtroopers Hera described. The armor they wore was a cousin of the ones she had seen a thousand times before, just similar enough to remind her of the sounds of blasterfire and screaming, the scent of mud and blood.
The troopers rounded the bend and Hera returned. "Trust me, it's delicious." She said, placing a box of some kind of noodle in Fen's lap.
"Thank you." Fen repeated, desperately wishing it were enough to absolve her of debt to this woman. The way Hera smiled back almost made her feel as though it was.
The noodles were good. They sat in silence and watched the beginnings of a party form around them, twi'leks of all colors dancing with abandon in the streets. Dancing for no one but themselves. It was a nice change. Another pair of troopers walked across the square, parting the growing crowd without effort.
"They're not clones anymore." Fen observed.
"How can you tell?"
"Something in the way they hold their blasters." She watched as they departed, the past crowding in on the edges of her vision. Fen shook her heat to clear it and ate the last of her noodles.
They walked back to the ship, the sounds of the party fading into the distance behind them, along with the strings of lights and the smoky scent of food. In the relative quiet, Fen slowly relaxed, her knuckles bumping against Hera's. Tension she didn't know she carried melted away as they walked, alone through the city, the only two people in the world.
As they rounded the next corner, a few dozen meters for their ship, the illusion of peace vanished as the hair on the back of Fen's neck stood up. "Wait." She hissed, grabbing Hera's wrist, pulling her back into the shadows of the alleyway.
A squad of stormtroopers came into view, walking slowly, blasters held less tightly than normal. Somehow they seemed more intimidating without a crowd around them. The sense of danger intensified. She reached half-heartedly for the Force, it did not answer, instead, itching, like a phantom limb.
"What have you got there." The lead trooper asked, gesturing with his blaster to Hera's bag of droid parts.
"Just some supplies for my droid." Hera said, chin up. Fen's sense of alarm changed to panic.
"Let's see then."
"No."
"Just show them." Fen pleaded in a whisper, voice tinged with desperation.
"No." Hera repeated flatley before turning back to the troopers. "You have no right do this."
The trooper simply laughed and reached for her bag, only for Hera to swing the bag full of metal as hard as she could against the side of his head. Fen took a step backwards into the shadows. Her heart racing a million beats a minute. The wounds around her neck pulsed with heat. Another trooper retaliated against Hera, swinging her baster, trying to catch Hera in the side of her head, but she ducked, swinging her leg out and tripping the storm trooper.
The third one landed a blow, slamming his food solidly into Hera's stomach, she gaseped with pain, trying to pull herself back to her feet when the first trooper kicked her again. Blood was pounding in Fen's ears. The fourth trooper was coming towards her now. She backed up again, trying to keep both Hera and the soldier in view, mind trapped in a loop of fear, empty of a plan. "On your knees." He leveled his blaster at her.
For a heartbeat, Fen moved to comply without thinking, ready to kneel. Still on the ground, Hera tried again to struggle to her feet. How is this better? The thought danced across her mind like a mirage. It left anger in its wake. Like an inferno, white hot rage burst into life inside her as she stopped the motion of kneeling and stood, feeling the heat inside burn away her fear.
Instead of shying from it, she embraced it. Fen reached out for the Force.
It answered.
It was as though she had awaken from a dream, as though she had been cured of blindness. The world around her sharpened and changed. She knew what was going to happen next. She knew how to stop it. Gripper her power tightly, Fen reached out a hand and clenched her fist.
The troopers were lifted into the air, all of them at once. They reached for their throats; blasters forgotten, fell to the ground. Fen was incandescent. Unafraid. Free. She burned with rage but it failed to touch her. The eye of the storm. Slowly, one by one, the soldiers died and she dropped them, bodies falling like discarded dolls. She could feel Hera staring at her, awe and fear mingeled in her eyes. She was alive again.
Unlike before, when the last body clattered to the ground, the Force did not vanish from her grip. Her anger cooled into embers and the Force retreated like a wave, no longer all consuming, but still there, in the back of her mind. Fen wiped away the tears she had shed, more falling to replace them as she let her consciousness wander, feeling the movement of souls, the life and death that surrounded her.
"We have to move." Hera pulled herself together faster, interjecting into Fen's moment of revelation. She returned to herself slowly, realizing the death around her. But she could not feel horror and what she had done. They had deserved this. Anyone who would hurt her, or Hera, deserved this kind of justice.
Together the girls ran through darkening streets, keeping to shadows and narrow alleyways. Fen let Hera lead as she took them on a roundabout route. Her lungs burned and her legs ached, but with a smile that was insufficient to express her joy, she simply reached for the Force, nestled in the smoldering ashes of her rage and her pain faded into the background.
They reached the ship as the last of the light faded and the street lights flickered on. In moments, Hera was able to lift the ship up into the air, blurting out clearance codes with a decent attempted at calm. "Are you alright?' Fen asked as Hera held her stomach and winced.
"I think I'll be okay. Just bruised. Thank you for getting us out of there." Hera smiled faintly, something flickering deep in her eyes.