Glad y'all liked last chapter :)

As soon as I opened my eyes I jumped out of bed and darted to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet. After a minute, I felt someone pulling my hair out of face. I look up to see Alex with a concerned look on his face. He had stayed the night to make sure I was alright and to go with me to my appointment. I went to the sink and washed my hands and rinsed my face.

When I walk back to the bedroom, I find Alex sitting in the same spot he was last night. "Mer."

"What?" I say as I dig through my drawers for something to wear.

"You have to tell him."

"Alex, I know this. I'll tell him when I am ready." I turned around and just looked at him.

He looked me up and down, causing me to scrunch up my eyebrows at him. "Mer, it's starting to get obvious. The constant puking, always hungry, you've got the pregnant glow, and your boobs have gotten bigger." I just look at myself in the mirror, now noticing what he just pointed out.

"And it won't be long till my stomach starts to show." I stated the obvious. "Go get ready. We got to be at Seattle Pres by 8:30." Alex leaves me alone in my room to go get ready. I let my hand fall to my stomach, and just let it rest there. I started to remember what it was like during my other pregnancies. With Bailey, I had Derek to help me through everything. Ellis on the other hand, I did that one alone. I was not going to go through another pregnancy alone. I have to tell him before he guesses it himself. I quickly throw on some jeans and shirt and make my way down stairs. I say hi to the kids and give them all a kiss before I slip out the door to my car.

Laying on the exam room table I just glance around to see how much the two hospitals are alike. My thoughts were interrupted when the OB came in. "Hi, I'm doctor Johnson, I'll be your OB today."

"Hi." Is all I respond, seeing as I just want to get this over with.

I see her glance over to Alex who was standing right beside me. "Are you the husband?"

I look over to Alex. "No, just friends. The father doesn't know yet, he is going through some stuff right now." I don't give Alex a chance to answer.

"Well okay then. Lift up your shirt and I'm going to put the jelly on your stomach but it might be a little cold." As I raise my shirt up, she notices my scars. You could tell by the look on her face. "Well, by the C, I can tell you have done this at least once before." She squirts the jelly on my stomach and I flinch a little at how cold it is.

"Uh, yeah. I've had two C's." I say as I look at the ceiling.

"From what I can see, you have survived a lot. You have three other surgery scars." She stated the obvious.

"Yep." I feel Alex grab ahold of my hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. After a couple seconds of her moving the wand around on my belly, the heart beat can be heard. Whoosh, Whoosh, whoosh is all I hear but I know it's a strong heartbeat.

"You look to be about 7 and half to about 8 weeks along." She wipes off the jelly with a towel and I sit up.

"I know I am high risk. Should I schedule regular check-ups?"

"Yes, if you know you are high risk that would be an excellent idea." She hands me this picture of the ultrasound. "I have more patients to see, you guys are good to go."

"It looks like a peanut." Alex laughed. I punched him in the arm, but not hard.

"Don't say that about my child." I joke back, since it does look something like a peanut.

"I guess I will have to start to like Nathan now." He smirked at me.

"Yes, you should. He is really nice." I smile back.

Alex scoffed. "Nice enough to get you pregnant and leave you." Alex swiftly walks out of the room, and I quickly shove the picture in my purse and run to catch up to him.

"He doesn't know so I can't blame him for that. I just feel like once I tell him he is going to obligated to come back to me. Not because he wants to, but because we are having a child." I sigh, still not sure how to tell him. With Bailey, I bought Zola a shirt and Ellis, well Derek was dead so there was no way I could tell him. That's something I wish could change. I wish he could have at least known I was pregnant, and maybe things would be different. He might still be alive. But that doesn't matter now, seeing as I can't change it.

On the way to the hospital there is just silence. Once we get there, we part ways and I head to the attending's lounge. I barge in, not thinking anyone was in there. Instead I scare two people that were standing there talking and they both turn to face me. I'm at a loss for words at who I see.

Nathan quickly hobbles over to me, puts a hand on my back and leads me to her. "Meredith, this is Teddy-"

"Altman." I quickly cut him off, confused why she was here.

The look on Nathan's face was priceless as he looked between the two of us. "You two know each other?"

"Yep." We both say.

"Well..." He trailed off for a moment to think about what to say. "Teddy, what I was going to say is I would like you to meet my friend, Meredith." Teddy had a big grin on her face, and let out a little laugh. I guess it was obvious that we were more than friends at some point.

"So, you and McDreamy broke up?" She asks.

"Mc what?" Nathan asks, and the room fell to awkward silence for a moment.

I just look to floor, then back up at Teddy. "Derek died two years ago, MVC accident. They didn't get him a CT, so he was brain dead by time they realized something was wrong."

Her face immediately changed to pity. "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. How is Zola taking it?"

"Pretty well, with the help of Bailey." I smile remembering the two of them together when I told them, and how they comforted each other.

"Bailey, what has she got to do with anything?" Teddy said as she sat down.

"No, my son Bailey. He was born about a year after the plane crash." I sat down next to her, and Nathan sat down in one of the chairs nearby.

"Oh so you did finally get pregnant?" She smiled.

"Finally?" Nathan butted in.

"Yes, twice actually. My youngest, my daughter Ellis was actually born after Derek died, unfortunately." I completely ignored Nathan, not really wanting to go into hat right now.

"Meredith was struggling to conceive." Teddy answered for me. Too late. Now I have to explain.

"We tried for like two years and no luck. Even on fertility drugs." I quickly added. Nathan just looks between the two of us. He opened his mouth to say something but Teddy interrupted him.

"Oh. Where is Cristina? Is she the Cardio god she wanted to become?" Teddy questions.

"Did you keep in touch with anyone from Grey-Sloan the whole time you were gone?" I ask, not really in the mood to answer a bazillion questions. Especially about Cristina, since we haven't talked in a while. It started off talking almost every day, to once a week, and then once a month.

"I stayed in touch with Robbins for a couple months after the crash. Last I heard was about Mark dying and also Arizona losing her leg. One last question, Grey-Sloan Memorial, how did that happen?"

"After the plane crash, we sued the hospital and got 15 million each. We basically bankrupted the place, so they were going to shut it down. We ended up buying it back with the help of the Harper-Avery foundation." Out of the corner of my eye, I see Nathan open his mouth, at the 15 million part, probably 'cause he didn't know how I came to own part of the hospital. I hadn't told him, but I do remember him asking when we first met.

"Oh, well that's nice." She looked down at her watch. "Look, I gotta go, I am meeting Owen for coffee. Bye guys!" She skipped out of the room, leaving Nathan and I in here alone.

"Well, I learned a lot about you today that I didn't know." Nathan said as he came and sat next to me.

"Well I guess it's only fair if I learn a little more about you then." It came out dirtier than I had expected, seeing as this is the perfect time to ask if wants kids.

"Well, I am sure you can." He smirked, inching closer, but I stopped him.

"So, had you and Megan planned on having kids?"

He laid back against the cushion and stared at the ceiling. "Yes. I wanted one or two, and she wanted a house full. We were planning on starting in a couple months and then you know what I did. So, yeah, we had planned on having kids. I love kids." I sighed, knowing this was the easier part, finding out if he even wanted any.

I opened my mouth to tell him, but I decided against it. Megan was still recovering and he was visiting daily. I didn't want to mess with that. "Well, you would be surprised but I didn't really want kids for the longest time. I always thought I would be a bad mother, since my mother was a bad mom. Derek eventually convinced me to at least have one. I did get pregnant, but I had a miscarriage before I could tell Derek. I went to the OB, and they said I had a hostile uterus."

"Hostile?" He laughed.

"Yeah. I went on fertility drugs for a while, but we eventually had to stop them. Derek was treating Zola and thought we should adopt her. Then obviously I did get pregnant, twice. I never thought I would have three kids honestly." I say, and immediately begin thinking, in like 7 months there will be another one. The kids will be excited, they will love another sibling to play with.

"Do you ever see yourself having anymore?" This question took me by surprise. He was basically asking me if we would ever have kids. I bit my lip. I really, really wanted to tell him, but what if he didn't want it? What if he told me to "take care of it"? I swallowed anxiously, wanting to answer this question the right way.

"Um, maybe someday. With the right person, of course. I'm sure Zola and Bailey would love to another sibling, but I don't know. It would just depend on the circumstances."

He nods, and I assume that he is thinking about my answer. We sit there for a minute or two in the silence. "Yeah, if I were to have kids, I would want it to be with the right person. But how would we know if it is the right person or not?"

"Well, we probably won't know. I guess we will just have to trust our gut." I shrugged my shoulders. With Derek, it was obvious he was the one. But now, I'm not sure. I don't even know if I want more kids, seeing as three is a handful. "Do you think she will ever be the same person you once knew?"

Nathan eyes met mine, and just stayed there till he could answer. He looked away before replying. "No. I mean, I hope she does, but probably not. Just working out there changes a person, let alone being locked up in a basement for like 10 years. I just really want her to be more like her normal self ya know?" He choked back a sob. "I miss her. I really miss her. I sit here and just wonder, how I let all these years go by with her missing. I shouldn't have given up on her. Damn it, I shouldn't have even let her on that chopper!" He yelled, and a tear fell down his cheek. "I blame myself every day, Meredith. I shouldn't, but I do. It was my fault she got on the chopper. I didn't stop her. I should have stopped her. I should have never cheated in the first place, and maybe we wouldn't be in this situation in the first place. Or maybe I should have kept looking, and I could have found her sooner. Maybe she would be more like her normal self if I had, but I just gave up. I thought she was dead. I really did." A few more tears fell down his face, and he just covered his face with his hands and sobbed. I didn't really know what to do. I felt awful that he put all the blame on himself.

I gently reached over and rubbed his arm. "Sshhh. It's okay. She is alive. She may not be the same person as when you last saw her but she is alive. That's what matters now, right?" He lets out another sob be nodding his head. "Make it up to her. Spend as much time as you can with her, show her that you care and that you are there for her. She will forgive you. I promise." I sat there for a few more minutes comforting him. Slowly his sobs calmed down and became a few stray tears. We sat there in the silence until I was paged.

"Hey. Look, I got to go take care of this patient but I'm serious about what I said. Be there for her, and she will forgive you." I smile softly before getting up. Nathan grabs my hand and spins me around to face him. He pulls me into a soft but friendly hug. I lightly drape my arms around him, with my hands on his back. His muscular arms are holding me close and tight, while his chin is rested on my shoulder. I enjoy the moment, and his warmth. I was about to pull away when he spoke up.

"Thank you, Mer. You didn't have to sit with me today, or give me all this advice." He whispers in my ear. I pull away, but he keeps his hands on my upper arms, keeping us very close to each other.

"I didn't have too, I know that. But I wanted too. It's not easy going through a trauma or a loss, but it is easier if you have some there who has been through one. They can help you through it and give you advice. That's what friends are for." I say, and my phone starts going off again. "Alright, I gotta go. Bye." I say before I speed walk out of the room and to the elevators. I press the button to go to the peds floor.

While I'm waiting to get there, I start to think about what has just happened. I planned on telling him, but now was definitely not a good time. Emotionally, he was a wreck. He did not need a child to make it worse. He is going to have to repair his relationship with Megan before I think he will be emotionally ready to know, but then it could be too late to make any decisions if he didn't want it. What if he wanted it but wanted to stay with Megan? Would he take me to court to fight for custody? The more I thought about it, the more anxious I got, thinking about all the possibilities that could play out. I was pulled out of my thoughts when the elevator dinged, signaling I was on the right floor. I find myself waiting outside a patient's room, patiently waiting for Alex to come out.

Once he came out, we went to an empty patient room to talk about our day.

"Did you tell him about the baby growing in your "hostile" uterus?" He inquired.

"N-No." I stammered. I feel really ashamed that I couldn't do it, but it was obviously not the right time.

"Meredith." He said with disappointment in his tone.

"I couldn't do it okay?" I whined. "I just couldn't."

"Okay." Was all he replied. What else could he say? He didn't know what had happened, and I definitely didn't feel like explaining that one. After a while, he spoke up. "I heard there are donuts in the conference room. Want some cheer me up donuts?"

"Of course." I giggled, as heard a humongous growl come from my stomach. "I guess little baby peanut is hungry too. You want some donuts?" I ask as I touch my stomach. Alex chuckles at me.

"Do you have to ask the baby that probably can't even hear yet?" He lets out another laugh.

"Shut up!" I shouted, and punched him lightly in the arm. "Come on, lets go get us some donuts." I laughed as I pulled him out of the room and down the hall toward the conference room. I stop dead in my tracks when I see two familiar faces in the room through the blinds.

"What?" Alex blurts out after running into me. I move to the nurse's station and sit at one of the chairs, looking like I am on the computer. I can just barely see over it but can see what's going on in the room. "Mer, what's going on?" I put my finger to my mouth to get him to be quiet as I peer through the blinds. His hand is on hers. He could just be comforting her, but for what? Alex quickly notices what I am looking at and joins me as we discretely watch them through the blinds. I bit my lip like I always do when I am nervous as I watch them. I see his hand squeeze hers, and she smiles. The chairs they are sitting in are very close to each other. I watch as he puts a hand on her thigh and smiles. She gets up, and puts her lips on his. It lasts only a few seconds before he pushes her off and storms out of the room, clearly upset.

"Whoah, what just happened?" Alex reluctantly asks.

"I think we just found out who Nathan had the affair with." I choke back a sob. My hormones in full gear, it isn't long before I'm full out crying and Alex is leading me to an on-call room to calm down before people start to ask questions.

Once we are sitting on the bed, he pulls me into a comforting hug. "Mer, it's okay."

"It's not. He cheated on Megan, what if we do get back together and he cheats on me?" I ask, not really wanting an answer.

"Meredith, I'm doubtful he cheated on Megan with Altman. Teddy is one of Owen's friends, and she was in love with him at one point, remember?" I just nod, unsure of anything anymore.

oooooh the drama! Hope you guys enjoy the longer than usual chapter, and leave a review!