December 17th: Watching my family
Dear Diary,
Today it began to snow. I was sitting in my room as usual and instead of hiding with the windows closed, I had them open. Zinnia, Flicka, Minzhe, and Wren were in the courtyard playing. More like the other three were playing, Wren was sitting being patient until they could go inside. I've noticed that with her. She never plays really with everyone even though they try to include her. I shook my head sadly and Zinnia looked up spotting me. She smiled and pointed, drawing everyone else's attention. "Look it's Mei Xiang!" She said happily. She looked back up at me, still smiling. "Do you wanna come play?" I shook my head, eyes going wide as images of what happened to Amethyst flashed before me.
Mama and Baba walked forward and stood next to her. "Zinnia, don't disturb, your sister," Mama said.
Zinnia gave her a confused look. "I just wanted to see if she wanted to come play? It must be terribly lonely being by yourself all the time."
Baba chuckled softly. "Yes, it can be lonely, but your sister has had a very rough time and still isn't fully better. I don't think she's ready to play." Zinnia frowned but nodded before going back to playing with her brother and sister. Baba looked back up at me and raised his paws in a soothing gesture. He noticed the near panic attack I had. Mama looked at me and him, her eyes dimming. Po wrapped an arm around her and lead her away.
I sighed to myself and inched towards the door. Zeng was walking by and saw me. "Mei Xiang!" He squawked startled. "Is there anything you need?" I just shook my head and motioned for him to carry on. He gave me a worried and look and appeared torn between getting Shifu or doing what I asked him to do. The latter won out and he moved on. I waited until he disappeared before walking to the courtyard and I hid behind a pillar near Wren.
"Why aren't you playing?" I asked her. She twitched one ear back before beginning to turn in my direction. "Don't look at me!" I hissed. "I don't want any attention drawn towards me please!" I asked her desperately. The younger tiger nodded her head and faced forward again.
"I don't like playing much because I can't see. I don't know how to do things really by myself. I've always had someone there with me, helping me." She mewed. I looked at the back of her head incredulously.
"How are you going to be on your own if you have to have your paw held the whole time?" I said.
"I don't know!" She spat softly. "I never asked to be like this!" I sighed and sank to the ground.
"You know I could probably teach you to be independent." I mused half to myself.
Her voice was hopeful, "Really?"
I glanced her way. "Sure. Why not?" I rose to my paws. "I'm going back up to my room now. Don't tell anyone that I spoke to you. Not yet, anyway." Wren nodded.
I turned and walked away. Her voiced echoed behind me. "Thank you."
I halfway smiled. "Anything for a sister."