February 21st: NAOKO! NOO!

Dear Diary,

I have just lost the love of my life.

Po and I were talking in the hallway after Shifu came back carrying Mama. "Do you think she'll be alright?" He looked at me and chuckled. "It'll take more than blood loss and a wound to the head to take your mother out, nu'er." He ruffled my head and I giggled before flattening it. We talked some more before hearing Tigress move in bed. I gently opened the door so as to not frighten her. We both walked in and smiled. "Ma! You're awake at last!" I ran over and threw myself into Tigress's arms. Po came over and kissed her head. "Glad to see you doing better, Ti. You gave everyone a serious fright. Now you have some answers about who else was lying in that clearing when Shifu found you." She nodded solemnly and I backed up to stand next to Po to act as a professional. I noticed that she took a deep breathe and she looked at me with pity and sympathy before speaking. It threw me off guard for what she had to say. "You two know that I was sent out on a rescue mission to retrieve a young boy who was attacked in the forest. Well, I went there and I tried to stop the blood flow from the wound until I could get him to the village. I was attacked by a bandit. I fought him off but he hit me on the head with a frying pan. He hit me hard enough to cause me to bleed and to pass out. The boy and I were talking. He was saying that he knew me. I just thought that he was delirious from the pain. But after the fight, he told me who he was. Po, he was the person who saved our little girl."

I looked from Mama to Po. My eyes bright with pain and disbelief. I couldn't believe it. It can't be true. Not him. I slowly backed up and pressed my back against the wooden frame of the door for support. My heart hammered against my chest and my legs already felt weak.

I watched my mom swallow and reach out for me before dropping her paws. "Mei Xiang, Naoko wanted me to tell you this before he died. He said that he is sorry for leaving you and that he will always be with you. He loves you very much. " I could feel my eyes well up with tears and my heart crack more as I responded. "I loved him too. We were planning on telling everyone that we were engaged today. He is my soul mate." I started to shake and I closed my eyes to keep back the tears. I felt my mom's paw touch me and I just shattered into pieces. I threw my head back in a shrill bone-chilling wail of grief and collapsed on the floor crying.

"I-loved-him-so-much." I managed to choke out in another wail of pain. Po left the room to call Crane over. He was going to have Crane go fetch the body. Naoko is family now, so we might as well bury him close by. Shifu woke up just then. Crane walked in with Po. He placed a wing over my body in comfort as he stood ready to be told where the body was. I dimly heard the conversation going on above me. "Where is the body of the boy? He is Mei Xiang's fiancee basically. They were soul mates. Po and I feel that it is only right to bury him close by in honor since he also was the one who saved her from her kidnappers." Shifu looked thoughtful for a moment before replying. "I covered it with my cloak and marked it with a flag at the clearing. " Crane looked from one to the other until he just said that he was going to go find the flag.

Naoko can't be dead. He just can't be. What am I going to do if he is dead. I need him. It seemed like time had frozen. My younger siblings tried to comfort me, but Mama shooed them away. I curled up on the floor in my room and rocked back and forth remembering all the moments we had shared together before now.

I stepped into the woods and continued on my walk when I bumped into another person. I was so lost in thought, that I didn't see him. "I am so so sorry, miss." His tenor voice washed over me. I looked up to spotted bloodish red-brown fur and warm golden amber eyes. "I'm Naoko. I didn't see you there. Here let me help you." I smiled gratefully as he helped me up.
"Uh.. um.. H-hi."
"Hey, are you okay?" He asks for a brief second I forgot my despair but as soon as that question left his lips my world crashed around me again. "I guess." I answered. I gave him the biggest smile I could offer which was basically a grimace. "What's wrong? I can tell you are upset over something."
"I am, I lost my dearest Chun Hua, my darling daughter, to the dreaded Blood Cough."
His eyes grew sad and the warm amber darkened. He leaned in and hugged me. I stiffened before realizing the niceness of the touch. "I know what you must be feeling in a sense. I lost my brother and sister to Blood Cough. Except, we didn't call it that. In my group, it is called Spotted Fever." I nodded sadly in sympathy. "I'm sorry for your loss." He nodded and we walked a ways to a small pond. I found myself beginning to open up to this gentle cat. He was kind and he didn't pity me over Chun Hua's death. We sat for awhile and I asked him the one question that I have had burning on the inside for a long time now. "You understand?" He looked up and nodded. "I guess I do understand. I know what it is like to drown in despair and wonder if you are ever going to find a way out or if anyone is there. I don't want you to have to go through the same suffering I did." I smiled softly, the grimace fading. 'How long did it take for the pain to fade?" He shook his head and grabbed my paw, squeezing it lightly. I didn't pull away from the comforting touch. "My big brother and little sister died 5 years ago when I was about 10 years old. The pain was crippling at first, but after a couple of years the pain seemed to be easier to bear. " I curled up against his side. He was tense against my touch but soon relaxed into me. "I don't know if this pain will ever fade. My other children are being adopted and will soon be leaving. She died too soon. I miss her so much." My voice broke off and I started to cry softly. Naoko turned me into his chest and held me as my tears dampened his shirt.
I stiffened as he petted my head fur and then relaxed to the feeling of him caressing me. Sobs wracked my body, they just couldn't seem to stop coming. When I finally cried so much I could not cry anymore I sniffled and looked at him. "Thank you, you have no idea how much I just needed someone to hold me." He smiled at me and leaned down and kissed my forehead. "Your welcome." My heart soared as I drowned in his amber eyes. He pulled me close for another hug and said, "I must go, now, but I hope to see you again beautiful girl. Remember always dry those tears for you are too pretty to cry." He turned and walked away my heart skipped a beat, he thought I was beautiful. I turned to watch him walk away. At the edge of our peaceful pond, stood a group of gypsies. A band of different cats waving for my knight in shining armor. "Naoko, come on. " He took off at a sprint towards them. I watched as he drew smaller and smaller. Before he turned and followed them into the deepening twilight lit forest, he turned and waved at me. I waved back. My heart feels lighter now, little book. Naoko helped me while others couldn't. I smiled to myself before realizing that back at home, everyone must be getting frantic thinking I killed myself out of grief. I really need to hurry home. Diary, you can't tell anyone this, but I think, i have fallen in love. I turned away from where Naoko vanished and walked back to my home.

It seemed like forever before the cutting suddenly stopped. I slumped to the ground in pain and wept as I struggled to wipe blood out of my eyes. I could hear a battle going on around me, but I was in a daze. When someone lifted me up I barely let out a moan and they shifted me closer. "Hang in there, Mei Xiang." I cracked open my eyes to see Naoko's face swimming hazily inches from mine. "Na-ok-o" I choked out before losing consciousness.

I looked around my new home. Naoko gently wrapped the blanket I was in tighter around my shaking frame. "It will be alright, Mei. I promise that I will take care of you. Here you will be safe." He set me down in a tent and walked out. I drifted in and out of a warm sleep when he walked back in with his grandmother as he whispered her name in my ear. "Mei Xiang, this is my Nainai. She is the leader and healer among my people. She will help take care of you." He pressed his lips softly against my head before walking out. I gazed warily at "Nainai" through fever glazed eyes. She was mixing something in a bowl and was mumbling something. She looked almost like an exact image of Naoko only older and feminine. When she looked at me I saw infinite wisdom and kindness in her eyes. She gently lowered the bowl to my mouth and I gagged the whole foul mixture down. She chuckled and said something else as I was drifting off to sleep. I felt something soft and warm being pulled up over my shoulders as I fell into a deep slumber.

I drift in and out of feverish sleep and when I am awake I see Naoko or Nainai with me. I rather have Naoko than his grandmother. She makes me drink some more of that bitter medicine than what Naoko does. He tells me about the camp. All the people in it. I love the little children already. They made me some get well gifts. He has placed them by my head so I can see them. They are so beautiful.

I don't know what is wrong with me little book. My heart flutters every time I think of Naoko. Everytime he looks at me I melt. It is if the world is crushing me when he isn't near me. Am I in love? Is this what love is supposed to feel like? The gentle looks we share? The way Naoko would "accidentally" brush my paw during meal times and always happen to sit next to me during those times. Or how I always managed to find him during any other time? Oh, little book! What is wrong with me! I am falling in love with Naoko! I want to but at the same time I don't want to! Everyone I love ends up getting hurt! Ming Hua did and then Chun Hua! Xinwen was soon to follow after her along with Meili. I don't know what to do!

I sat down and hung my head after finishing my inner reflection before deciding that it was okay to love Naoko.

Naoko and I walked away from all of the chaos of their encampment. "You know, I think I am falling in love with you." I smiled softly as I leaned against him. He glanced down at me before sweeping me up into his arms. "Well everyone here thinks that I am going to marry you. They don't realize that it is entirely up to you though. I know that you want to get back to your family as soon as possible. I wish that I could help you get back to them, but Nainai is the leader here and she wants you to be sure that you are fully better before we help you find them. I also want to help lead them-" I stopped his rambling by pressing my lips against his. "Stupid fur ball." I murmured. "I'm more than happy to stay here as long as I need too. You make me happy. My parents will find me when they can. I know it. I left a trail for them all the way there. Hopefully Mama is still up to some tracking." I could feel my heart flutter in my chest. Naoko's eyes brightened with joy before leaning down and returning my kiss. "Then will you do me the honor of being my bride when the right time comes?" I flung my arms around his neck and screamed yes so loud that the whole camp came running to find out what was wrong. Nainai was shocked into joy when Naoko shouted the news to her.

When my family found me, I was out hunting with George and Thomas. Thea and the other little ones were gathering berries. They saw Crane and ran to get Nainai and Naoko. I ushered them all into a tent and Naoko thrust me in there with them to protect me. I refused to be protected like a child but from the look in his eyes, I let him. Crane landed and asked Nainai about me. She shot Naoko a look and slowly nodded. Naoko looked so horrified but Nainai just shot him one of those looks that said, "You'll see her again. It has to be this way. The stars have foretold this." He looked down and tears began to fall silently down his furry cheeks.

Crane flew off and within a few hours the rest of my family came. Well, only Po, Tigress, Viper, and Crane were there. It made sense, though. The rest were needed to protect the valley. My friends gathered around me and finished the touches on my hanfu. Nainai made it for me for Naoko's and my wedding day. I wore it with pride as I walked out of the tent.

We had carried Amethyst's body with us after she died and we had to move. I made my way over to her grave and murmured a few words of goodbye. By then everyone in my new family made their way to me and said their goodbyes. I hugged my little friends tightly before approaching Naoko and Nainai. Nainai hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. I looked into her wise eyes for answers and saw only the one she gave Naoko. Turning to him, I saw all the feelings I was feeling. He grabbed me in a passionate kiss and I held him close to my heart before letting him go. He pressed a small locket in my hand. It was the one that Amethyst always wore before her death. I hung the chain around my neck before casting one final tearful glance around the friends and people I began to call home.

Naoko managed to sneak past Shifu and visit me too. "How did you find me?" He smiled and gently rubbed my paw. "It wasn't easy but I remembered where we first met and I went there and walked into the village. I asked some people where Chun Hua was buried and they pointed up here. So I came up here and found you in a window. So here I am." I leaned in and kissed him. "I'm so glad you came. But you shouldn't be seen here. You could get in trouble." He chuckled and we both laid back against my bed. I curled against his side and halfway laid on his chest. "I am trouble incarnate." I smiled and purred sleepily. "I've missed you so much, Naoko." "As I, you." We stayed like that for the rest of the night.

Soon Crane was back with him. I prayed that it was all a dream and he was still alive. I stared frozen in shock as Crane laid his bloody body on the palace floor. Then I broke again. It was like another piece of me was shattered again. Just like when Chun Hua died. Only different. I screamed and wailed his name and flung myself down next to him. "Naoko, I love you, you stupid fur ball!" I whispered over and over and over. I don't know when I fell asleep, but at some point I did, still murmuring "I love you," to my dead love.