There was simply too much to think about. One thought led to thousands more like the branches of a tree growing in different directions from its trunk. Almost each branch led to another and another, just like my thoughts. The only difference was that the branches of the tree eventually stopped somewhere however it seemed like my thoughts were infinite. I spent quite a few very long moments sitting on the edge of the bed and attempting to process all the thoughts running through my mind which they eventually became too wired and tangled that it became a mess. All of the thoughts stopped taking turns to attention and began to simultaneously force themselves into my attention all at once. By that time I somehow placed myself onto the hard floor with my shoulder and hipbones aching as I lied on my side. My injured arm was resting on my hip which gave more weight to the other side of my hip that I was laying on. I felt like I needed to initiate contact with Mother Earth to keep my senses calm and my thoughts calmer despite the fact that I was many floors above soil.

One question that my mind kept coming back to was; "If he cared so much about me then why hasn't he shared anything about himself?" All he has ever told me about were the special moments we had together. I just could not figure out why he did not mention all of what I have found out earlier this evening. Maybe I reacted so wrongly when I first met him because of his status, maybe I did not treat him right in the start, maybe I was judging him too much, maybe I was becoming insecure being with a famous person, maybe I was always questioning his motives in our relationship, maybe I always had a thought tugging onto my mind all the time about when he will eventually get bored and leave me for a beautiful and young actress or maybe he was having too much fun being that anonymous boyfriend to me.

I knew that the right way to go about this ordeal was to simply ask the man whom I predicted was still here probably waiting for me to get over my moping stage, but I had much too much pride. I just had to find out on my own and I knew exactly who knew more about this man and my relationship with him. That would be the one and only internet.

I slowly got out of my lying position and hopped to my bed where my smart phone was located which possessed the internet. Before I navigated through the phone to get to the internet, I read a new text message that was sent by Elise whom I did not recognised. The text message was asking how I was managing the injuries of the car accident. I scrolled down to our previous messages dated before the accident and my eyes widened from the way my text messages sounded like. I was clearly very different to how I am. I sounded so confident not much like myself now. Despite that, this Elise sounded like she was pretty close to me. I navigated out of the text messages and clicked onto the internet icon.

Dropping my phone onto my bed and running my fingers through my unruly dark hair, I sighed slowly while my mind was still in the train of thoughts. Searching through the internet was not entirely a good idea. I was left feeling so horrible and insecure. The internet had so much information about him, no doubt. There were certain information that made me feel sick inside and I did not want to think about why it was making me feel that way.

I rolled onto my side and shut my eyes, attempting to give sleep a try. It was four in the morning and my eyes were dry and constantly stinging and my body was weary. My mind began a slide show of the images I saw on the internet. They were not pleasant images either. I knew they were the source of why I felt so sick. The images and news I came across were about him and different women that the paparazzi have snapped photographs of together. They were all rumours and there were no confirmation by Tom himself about these rumours. I had no reason to feel this way, after all, he is my boyfriend as he has confirmed to me over and over again however, waking up with no memory of anything and having a stranger tell you that you have an intimate relationship with them, it is so surreal. Later on in the track when finding out this man is famous and seeing all the rumours, you just don't know what to believe. What if all this was lie? Maybe there is some sick prank reality show follow me around until I crack…

That last thought flew out my mind's imaginary window when another thought threw itself into my mind like a cement wall. To be more precise it really was not a thought, it was a memory.

"Seriously Lara, when was last time you two went on a date?" said my friend with a messy blonde hair in a bun that complimented her soft facial features.

"Well," I sighed and admired the beautifully decorated ceiling. My friend Elise lived in a very cosy house that was considered as a heritage home, every piece of the house was decorated in Victorian style. I was dressed in tight jeans and blouse with embellished collar. "I can't remember, I think it was in winter… before he started filming."

"Winter was almost three months ago! Lara, you both need to make some effort on this relationship or it will fall apart very quickly!"

"Yes, but Tom really cares about his career and it's important to him. I can't just throw a tantrum like a clingy girlfriend and tell him to pay attention to me, that would be stupid and that is not how I am like. Plus, I'm busy too. I have to write about-,"

"You might be busy but you still make time for your lover. All I'm saying is to just talk to Tom, he's an understanding guy."

"Blah," I stretched across her one seater sofa. "I just miss him so much and that's all I could ever say to him because he's on the other side of the planet and it would be horrible to make him fly back here just to see me."

"That is like every girl's dream!" her English accent flowed out of her lips smoothly.

"Yeah but it isn't when you tell the man to do it, I'd rather just wait until his job is done there."

"I guess you have a point, last night I saw an article about how busy he is with the new movie and how everyone is so excited to have the movie hit cinemas. Here, I'll show you. It's on this celebrity gossip site," Elise told me as she busily looked for it on her tablet. She became still for a moment and I watched her facial expression move to a thoughtful expression. "Oh…"

"What is it?" I got up from my lying position.

"Um… you know how these sites are," she let out a nervous laugh. "They're such bullshitters!" she laughed again, harder this time.

I grabbed her tablet as she kept laughing, slower this time as she watched my blank expression quickly switch to a negative one. "While Tom Hiddleston is very busy with filming the hit movie which will be in theatre in Autumn, he has also been very busy getting close with Adrianna Taylor who is co-starring in the hit movie. Witnesses say they have been very intimate in an Italian restaurant nearby their hotel that they are staying at," I read calmly and glanced at Elise who now stopped laughing and was now watching me intently. I closed my eyes and lowered my head while breathing in deeply. "I'm just going to go home."

"Lara please stay, let's just talk it out. We'll even call Tom, I'm sure it's not true…"

"No, I want to go home and be alone, I'll call you if my loneliness smothers me okay?" I stood up and gently patted her shoulder.

I felt like I was running a marathon as I quickly walked to my car, ignited it and dialled Tom's number which automatically connected to the car's Bluetooth. I wanted to yell, scream and vent at him while my anger was dangerously bubbling in my chest. The drive to my apartment was only twelve minutes and that was all I needed to yell at him. I didn't need his excuses, it wouldn't save him.

"Hello my beautiful!"

"Hello Tom, I hope I haven't caught you at a bad time," I gritted my teeth and squeezed the steering wheel as I turned into the main road.

"Nonsense, my love. I always have time for you. I apologise for not calling you for the last few days this filming has been taking up all of my time and-,"

"But you still had time for the beautiful Adrianna," I pressed my lips together tightly.

"Adrianna? What are you talking about Lara?" concern filled into Tom's voice.

"Don't act like you don't know what's going on!" I yelled. My body shook from the negative emotion that ran through my veins. "'Tom Hiddleston has also been busy being intimate with Adrianna Taylor'. What do you have to say about that? Hmm?"

"Lara, I don't want to repeat myself but I told you to never listen to what the paparazzi

has to say. Not everything they say is correct and this is definitely a lie! The only person I am intimate with is you Lara! Adrianna and I finished filming early yesterday and we had dinner to discuss the next scene which involves-."

"But you still had time for her! How about me? Tom, what about me? I'm here sick and tired of missing you and wondering if you miss me too! You just don't care anymore…" a sob escaped from my lips.

"I do care, Lara! It was all strictly business, I swear to you!"

"I'm guessing that business makes you forget about your girlfriend."

"What else do you want me to do, Lara? My job is important to me and so are you, I just can't focus on both of you at once."

"That's such a beautiful thing to say, Tom!" I laughed. Our argument was over, there was nothing else to say because I knew where I stood. I was only a block away from home and I did not want to argue with him any longer. "Whatever Tom," I said as I rounded the corner. "You keep busy with business while I-," and that was when the accident occurred.

I stared into space as I replayed the precious memories in my mind over and over again. All of a sudden I froze and my eyes widened. Tom did not mention anything about his job because the last thing we did before the accident was fight over it.

Great, I was not going to get any sleep now.

I hope all of you had a wonderful and safe new years! I still cannot believe that it's 2014!
I want to thank those of you that follow/favourite and review this story!

I hope this chapter is good, it is quite different.