I was feeling grateful as I stepped off the bus to the right stop in the centre of London. The bus driver sensed that I was lost – and probably a tourist because my accent was clear – and stopped at the stop telling me this was the right place. I smiled happily as I admired the view of the city as people bustled around me. It was almost 12 in the afternoon and the city was vibrant with people on the streets probably heading off to lunch. Part of me wanted to stay back and wander around the city for awhile but I would not have enjoyed the experience in peace since I had no idea how to get home.

I pulled out my smart phone from my pocket as a brilliant idea rose in my mind. With a small smile playing on my lips, I opened the 'maps' app and pulled out my purse to retrieve my ID which would obviously have my current address. I shook my head at my stupidity for worrying too much. That was when my heart dropped into my stomach and I started to feel nauseous, wanting to puke even though my stomach was empty. I had no ID. I fumbled through my purse again desperately trying to find the item that was going to end my major dilemma.

After the fifth time searching for an item that was certainly not going to appear out of thin air, I slapped my forehead with my purse and shut my eyes for a few moments. I think I would have just stood there in the middle of the busy London footpath with my eyes shut in frustration. Trying to block the outside world, I squeezed my eyes tighter which started to make me feel like I was in the middle of time and space, with nothing around but space. I knew I would have slipped into my subconsciousness if I stood in that position just a little longer because I felt its safe and warm embrace start to take over me, like it knew that I wanted to get away from this so called reality for awhile. I was starting to fall for it until someone in the street bumped their shoulder against mine which shook me awake. Shifting my head from one direction to another, I made a rash decision to walk towards what I hoped was the right way to my apartment.

In normal circumstances, I would have asked someone on the street which direction I should head towards to get home but thanks to my brain and car accident, I had no clue what the name of the street I lived in was. All I remembered was the way my apartment looked like. It looked like a normal residential apartments painted in dark grey with only several floors. I could not describe that to someone and expect them to recognise which area I was talking about.

I sighed and trudged along the footpath which looked like it was headed towards the edge of the city. I remember that I did not live too far from the city which was a good sign and I hoped that I would miraculously find my way home.

As I walked, my mind slipped to the event that occurred earlier that day. Just the thought of it had me feel like a tonne of cement walls landed on my chest which made it harder to breathe. My pace slowed down considerably as I took a big breath in with my hand on my chest. My fingers scrunched into my coat as if it helped me to breathe better. It did not. I ignored the illusion that I could not breathe properly and fastened my pace. I hated emotions and its overwhelming control over everything. I also hated myself. I should not have picked a fight with Tom when all he was trying to do was help after I picked a fight with him a few days before. He just arrived at my doorstep not expecting an apology and pretended as if none of all this happened. He just wanted to help. He wanted me to get better because he knew I was suffering from failing to retrieve my lost memories. He was suffering too, I know, even though he hardly showed it.

He was right. Although he did not mean to say I was acting childish, I was being childish all this time. A mature young adult of twenty six would have tried and conformed with the lifestyle that they were told they had and would have tried in absolutely every possible way to still keep their supposed lover company because that would show to them that they respect them for still hanging onto them even though they had no piece of memory of their relationship. I could have done that. I could have had him as my company and try to understand how our relationship was like so something familiar might trigger some snippets of memories back. Instead I just threw constant tantrums about everything.

I groaned at every single thought that were pushing me down and over the edge. I felt mere stupidity in my acts and bitter over my delayed realisation that I was being foolish this whole time. I just needed the one person that I have somewhat grown comfortable around, the one person whom I knew in this country - thanks to the lack of memories – the one same person who have stepped up to take responsibility of me which I did not show appreciation for.

"Stupid," I muttered in a broken high pitched tone. I felt tears fill my eyes that slightly obstructed my sight.

I eventually stopped walking because my legs started to ache and my brain just could not handle any more negative thought – not that the negative thoughts ever stopped. Taking in my surroundings, it looked like I was in a quiet suburb with small houses which looked similar to one another. I tried to recognise something about my surroundings that may be familiar that could help me find out how far I was from my home.

The tears that I have been trying to prevent from escaping my eyes finally could not be held in anymore and ran down my cheeks. I had absolutely no idea where I was.

Like a careless drunk, I stumbled off the footpath and sat on the side of the road. Burying my head in between my knees, I let out my frustration out in an uncontrollable sob. It was funny how being physically lost just precisely reflected the feeling of being lost internally.

After what seemed like forever, I decided to do what I should have done a few days ago. I decided to throw away my pride and step on it. I called the one person that I needed help from in more ways than one.

"Tom, I'm sorry," I sobbed then covered my mouth shamefully. Not only have I let go of my pride but also shown my vulnerability.

"Lara, what is the matter? Are you okay?" his urgent voice sounded through my phone.

Still with my hand over my mouth I let out another sob. That stupid, stupid man! Always being selfless and checking to see if I'm okay when I cause him so much pain! "I'm sorry about earlier. I've been so stupid!"

"Lara, it's okay. Please don't cry about it, I don't like hearing you like this. Are you at home?"

By that time I had my head on my knee with tears still gushing out of my eyes. I was asking help from someone that I absolutely do not deserve, he was just too good for me. "No, I'm lost. Could you give me directions? I'm on -," I raised my head to see the street sign place a couple of metres across from where I sat. "Clarence Street."

"Hold on, I'll come get you."

"No, I don't want you to see me like this!" I cried.

"Lara, you're too far from home. It will be easier if I pick you up, alright? I'll be there soon."

With that, he hung up and I was left bewildered and hastily using the sleeve of my coat to dry my eyes.

Keep the reviews coming! They're all so great! Thank you for all of them! And the favourites/follows!

I am so sorry for the delay. Once again my life has been hectic!

I decided to write this chapter up instead of doing the assignments because come on, it's more fun!

Please do tell me if there isn't something you like, I'll keep it in consideration. Otherwise, enjoy the read.

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