I waved my hands frantically to Julia who waved calmly back as she headed down the hallway, I wanted to show her that I was very pleased about her work on me and very excited for tonight. I really did appreciate what she has done for me, I smiled and closed my front door before heading to the full size mirror in my room. I did not want to sound egotistical at all but her work on me made me look stunning. My long dark hair fell down to my mid-back in loose waves and splendidly plaited a part of my hair to create a crown. The make-up on me almost made me look vastly different to my usual appearance. I leaned in closer to the mirror to figure out how my eyes could look so different. The way the dark eyeshadow, eyeliner and mascara blended in together created a wonderful border around my eyes causing my green eyes to appear much brighter.

"Whoa," I mumbled slowly as I stepped back gazing down to my attire for the evening.

It was simple yet elegant. It was a silver plain dress which fell just above my knees with long sleeves. The dress hung loosely around my mid-back which left my back was exposed. The dress was embellished with beads and crystals that shimmered in the light. It was quite beautiful.

I twirled around in front of the mirror in my black stilettos and smiled about the fact that I looked presentable. I sighed and sat down on the corner of my bed which clothes were still laying over it creating a veil. I still could not abandon the thoughts in my head that engulfed me in oppression which felt like it was weighing me down and that this bed would not be able to carry my weight any longer. The way Julia has spoken about who I was, made it sound like so many people despised my attitude but nonetheless tolerated me. Toleration is not a good thing in my books. Yet, when I think about toleration, I think about how much Tom tolerated me ever since the accident. I was a mess - still am a mess - and threw tantrums every given moment. Even though Tom supposedly tolerated me, his toleration never grew thin because I loved him back.

I frowned back at my reflection in the mirror. It really was hard to believe the spoken details of my life that I could not remember. I never thought I would turn out nasty. I did appreciate people and was very kind to them. Maybe dating a famous person which caused some of his fame upon me has messed me up a little. I did not know.

As I sat there trying to find a wormhole out of my misery, I somehow dug myself deeper into it. What if his friends make negative remarks about me? What if I feel so isolated throughout the dinner because they do not want to talk to me? My mind visualised a scene with Tom engrossed in a deep conversation with all of his friends and completely ignoring me at his side. His friends looking gleeful as they listened to him. One friend pulling a sour face as they glanced at me because I had a bad attitude towards them in the past. I squeezed my eyes shut to stop it. I was starting to go ballistic about this and I knew that I was being irrational about it because there is no solid proof that I was like that. Still, it did not stop me from dwelling about it.

I grabbed my phone frantically and called the only person I always called when I was being frantic. He picked up on the first ring which I was grateful about.

"Tom, I know I've been calling a lot but I really would like you to come over as soon as you can!" I said swiftly without stuttering. It was not the most appropriate way to invite someone over but I was too impatient.

"Uh, hi," Tom replied sounding startled.

"I'm sorry, I said it too fast," I started to scratch the back of my head then immediately stopped, realising that I would ruin my hair-do.

"No, uh, that's okay. Are you okay?"

"Yes, I just wanted to talk to you about something," I said more calmly this time.

"Well, I'm getting ready for tonight right now. Is it okay if I come over just a bit before the dinner?"

"Yeah, sure! It can wait," I bid him farewell before hanging up. It really could not wait. I was not sure how to distract myself until he arrived which would be in about an hour or two.

It did not take me long to figure out what to do for time to pass by until Tom arrived. I did anything a female would do which was to use the internet as my detective tool to find out for myself about how I use to be. I typed in 'Tom Hiddleston's girlfriend Lara Riley' in the Google search bar. The results came from different celebrity gossip sites that just briefly spoke about my car accident and their assumptions were not nearly close to the truth - well some were. There were assumptions that I broke a bone, which was partly true. I looked down at my fractured arm that have started to become more or less mobile. There were other assumptions that I had a life saving surgery and that Tom was by my side the whole time which was why working on his upcoming movie was set on hold. That was again partly true.

Pressing my lips that were painted red together, I scrolled down the results and stopped at a website that was named something about being a Hiddlestoner. I paused and looked at the word 'Hiddlestoner' and frowned at it. Is that what fans of Tom call themselves? I chuckled and clicked onto the site. The website was bombarded with every picture imaginable of Tom with large inscriptions of fans devoting their love to him. My eyes widened. I really had no idea that he has a large fanbase to which point he has not mentioned this to me, then I assume he has no idea of it.

I absently navigated through the website until I found what I was looking for. It was a brief statement about me.

As we all know, Lara Riley who is some sort of an editor at some stupid magazine is currently dating Tom. I swear to you guys, ever since they started dating he has not been looking well at all! I mean, look at him in this picture. He looks so pale and so very tired as he is holding Lara's hand who looks super happy. Seriously, if you are going to date this beautiful man, you look after him!

Apart from Tom's obvious wariness about this relationship, which we know that sooner or later they will break up and Tom will be single to mingle with one of his Hiddlestoners! I just wanted to point out that there has been a few witnesses that have pointed out that this girlfriend of his, Lara, is a bitch. And I'm not saying this because I'm jealous, because really, I want Tom to be happy, don't we all girls? But she has been quite snappy with the shop assistant in Versace the other day. She just out of NOWHERE told the poor assistant off because she couldn't find the dress she really wanted. Also other reports say that she's a very arrogant and selfish person. Like, her head is in the clouds. I think it's time for this bitch to drop from the sky because us Hiddlestoners are NOT happy! Tom needs to get out of this relationship ASAP! She's a bloody leech!

"Well," I muttered to myself after reading the statement. My rational side was clearly not going to believe it but will put it into the memory bank as what his fans thought of me. My irrational side however was ready to wail out the worries and hurt about what has been just read because it was clearly true. My irrational side also took the image of wary looking Tom as proof that I was a horrible person. So here I am, on my bed blankly staring at the laptop screen as my mind has its own battle. Regardless of my mind's battle with irrationality, my chest felt like it was holding onto a huge lump of cement that was weighing me down.

"I should not have read that," I mumbled.

It was half an hour before the dinner was supposedly starting when Tom arrived to my house. I was still sitting in the same place on my messy bed when he walked into my bedroom. I was not just sitting on my bed wallowing over my suffering but was attempting to think about the quotes that I remembered of Buddha. He said that the happiest people always focused on the present, so I looked up to Tom who stood in front of me with an excited expression on his face. He was wearing a plain black suit without the blazer. His shirt was the colour of his eyes which neatly contrasted his black vest. He looked quite charming. I smiled tightly at him before getting up onto my feet.

"You look beautiful," he gazed down at me with a grin.

His words were like a breath of fresh air. I smiled genuinely now, "We should thank your stylist," I did not want to mention her name in case it triggered my suffering.

"I think even if my stylist was not here, you would look beautiful nonetheless," he grabbed a hold of my hand and led me out of my room. "I'm sorry for being so late, I had to finish up on some work but with what you wanted to talk about... did you want to talk about it after dinner?"

"Yeah, sure," I forced out a chuckle. "No problem."

As we got closer to our destination, the anxiety and suffering started to rise rapidly. I tried to focus on the scenery of London as a way of focusing on the present but I kept failing. I could not focus on what Buddha would preach anymore. My stomach was in multiple knots, my heart was bashing itself against my ribcage and my hands were sweating. It was getting harder to swallow and even harder to breathe. I turned my head to the left to face the passenger window and shut my eyes tight. I was not the person I was, I am better now, I am not arrogant and mean. I took in a slow deep breath.

"We should be there in about five to ten minutes," Tom said, clearly not knowing what was going on inside my head.

I sighed and while still facing the passenger window I asked him to pull over somewhere.

"Are you okay?" Tom asked and put his hand on my forearm.

"Yeah, I just need some fresh air please."

Without saying a word, Tom obediently exited the main road into a narrow one and parked his car. He then turned to me, "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mhmm, I'll just be a minute," I told him and stepped out.

It was chilly outside and my thin dress did not stop me from shaking from the cold. The cold air still felt good for my airwaves. I was certain that I was going to pass out in the car. I just needed to calm myself down and take some fresh air and get back to our way to the dinner. I know that Tom really missed his friends and was excited to see them so I was not going to obstruct his good night.

I heard the car door open and close and footsteps approaching me from behind. A sudden warmth overtook my body. It was Tom putting his blazer over my shoulder to protect me from the cold. He stood in front of me looking worrisome with his hands on either side of my shoulders.

"What's wrong?" he asked. His eyes were focusing on mine as if trying to uncover the answer.

"Nothing, I was suffocating in the car. I think it was something that I ate that's making me feel like this," I shrugged.

"Is it the thing you wanted to talk about when you called?" he ignored my lame excuse.

"Not really."

"No, let's talk about it now," he ignored my lame answer. "What's on your mind?"

"We'll just talk about it later, I'm okay now," I smiled showing him proof of what I said.

He looked at me in a way that a kid looks at the show Dora the Explorer, he was not buying it.

"We should head back or we'll be late for dinner," I took a step back but his hands were still firmly planted on my shoulders.

"Dinner can wait."

"But your friends can't"

He sighed, "We're not going anywhere until your spill your worries."

"Okay," I nodded and waited for him to say something. He just stared at me, looking very patient. "Look, it's really stupid. I mean, really stupid," I paused waiting for him to respond. When he didn't, I continued, "It's just Julia," I sighed.

"My stylist."

"Yeah, her. She told me some things about who I was before the accident and you know, it was stupid."

"What did she say?"

"I'm not really a good... that I'm basically a bitch."

"A what?"

"Yeah, you know, aggressive, selfish and whiny. Horrible person."

He nodded, "And you believe that?"

"No," I scoffed.

"You believe it."

"Yes!" I sighed. "So I did what any woman would do in my situation! I searched the internet about me and what she said was right! On this website it was babbling on about how horrible I am and how I yell at people with no good reason and how unhappy you are with me and how you should get out of the relationship with me!"

"Was this on a fanbase website?" he asked with a blank face.

"Yeah."

"Okay Lara, what I am about to tell you, you need to keep it in your head at all times," he slouched down to look straight at me. "That website is written by my fans. I love them and appreciate them very much but that website is not a place for you to go on. You see Lara, they are not going to write nice things about you simply because I'm in love with you and not them. So what they say about you is not true and is just hate towards you."

"But they had witnesses saying -,"

"Witness that have altered the truth. You should not believe that."

I nodded slowly.

"And as for Julia, I'm not really surprised by what she said. She is great at her job but she also likes to cause some drama. She knows from me that you still haven't quite grasped your lost memories yet so I guess she just wanted to stir the pot. Alright? You were never a bad person and you always treated me and everyone fairly."

"How do I know that you're not lying?" I asked with a frown.

"Well, you don't," he let go of my shoulders. "But, I can show you a short video on my phone that I look at often."

"A video?" I asked as he pulled out his phone and navigated to the mentioned video.

It was a video of me.

I was pulling a cheeky smile to the camera. "Hello my love! If you're wondering how I stole your phone, well the only way to steal it without you noticing is when you're sleeping!" I started to giggle and focused the camera on Tom's sleeping form in my bed. He was unaware of the happenings and he was shirtless. "I just wanted to say happy birthday and I hope you love the plans I made for you today. I love you very much and am constantly thankful that you are mine. You are such a wonderful person to me! I wanted to put this video on your phone so whenever you're away and you miss me, you can watch it. I love you." I kissed the camera.

"Does that show you that you are a good person?" Tom asked with a grin when the video ended.

My jaw dropped when I saw the video and I was flushed all over my face so I just nodded.

"Good, let's head to the dinner then," he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and led me back to the car.

I smiled. I never thought I would feel like a whole tonne of weight has been lifted off my shoulders after a small talk with Tom. What did trouble me though, was the fact that my heart was still bashing itself against my ribcage but not for the initial reason. This time it was doing this over what he said; "simply because I'm in love with you".

Uni is over for a month so I'm going to try my best to bombard you guys with heaps of chapters before it restarts.

I've received mix messages about my last chapter, I am so sorry for that really crappy chapter and I hope this makes up for it. I've made it longer as well as most of you wanted.

I'd like to thank all those who have favourited and is following this story.

Also want to thank you for the reviews, they are lovely!

Also want to reply to Gillian, since you're a guest I couldn't reply to you. I haven't realised that I have mistakes in my chapters. I do edit them but am always in a rush. I don't mind you editing them however I think you wrote your email but I can't see it...

Also to the guest review who said that they refused to eat or drink until I update and if they have to they would do my homework for me; please keep eating and drinking! And I give you my consent for you to do my homework!

Hope you enjoy this!