"… And lastly, Ojiro and Iida will be a team, and you'll be facing off against Majima-san." Nezu finished listing off the matchups for the final exams, which made Majima laugh at the students.
"Ha, have fun fighting that name-stealing bastard, ya little shits."
Aizawa turned to the time stopper with an annoyed look, "He meant you, idiot."
He stopped laughing. "What?"
"He said Majima, not Maijima. Power Loader has an extremely important deadline to meet, so he asked if someone else in the staff could take his place. You were the only staff member left."
The students and the other teachers watched as Majima looked down at the ground, looking like he was about to cry, before he blinked out and reappeared wearing his hero costume, mask over his face. "Let's just… Get this over with." He said with a sniffle.
"Are you alright, Majima-sensei?" Iida asked his teacher, who looked away from his students.
"I just- I just really didn't want to do any work today." He hadn't slept well the last few nights. Hell, he hadn't had a good night's sleep ever since that student had put him in a coma. Way too much on his mind. Today was the one day this week that he would have had a free day. His weekend was filled up with a special task from Nezu, to try and get back into the underworld to collect intel, but he was still trying to find his old outfit. Worse case scenario, he wears the replica of his original villain outfit that Power Loader made, but that means giving up on the original mask that Kobayashi had made for him. He'd also have to figure out if the criminal underworld still shuddered when they heard the name, Time Enough.
Aizawa glared at him, "Are you drunk?"
"I wouldn't be this upset if I was drunk. I'm sober, honest." And if that's not the saddest thing in the world. He hadn't had a drink in three days. He just wasn't feeling up to it recently.
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Majima stood at the exit of the test, looking over the dirt arena they dropped him in as he tried to spot Iida and Ojiro. He didn't really pay attention when they were explaining the rules to him, so he didn't know what he was doing. Something about not letting them escape, right? Man, he was not in the mood for this, and these heavy-ass weights they were making him wear were not helping his attitude. Oh shit, is that Iida? Can't really tell, it's just a line of dust that was heading right towards him. He's probably about to kick Majima with the force of a truck, which was at least on brand of the kid. Should probably do something about that, huh?
The thing about time stop, is that kinetic energy couldn't be properly applied from within the frozen time. Sure, a constant force works just fine, like pushing something into place or opening a door. But punches didn't work too great, seeing as most of the force behind them were lost on impact. Good thing he still has all of his old tricks. Crouching down, he spread his hands out on the ground. He focused on his power, feeling time release its hold on him, but he didn't snap his fingers. His body began to glow with a blinding white light, and he felt an old strain deep in his bones. The world slowed, and he was suddenly able see the speeding Iida much easier than he had been a few moments ago.
"Desync: Factor of 10!" There we go, haven't done this in a long, long time. When he first started, Majima hadn't known how to stop time, that's something he'd built up to over hundreds of years. But this? Slowing time had always been far easier, and since time wasn't stopped, all of the kinetic energy of his punches will be maintained and enhanced. For everyone else, time was the same, it wouldn't seem like anything had changed. But for him, time was 30 times slower, so every 10 seconds for him was only a single second for everyone else. Not only that, but now a normal punch at 5 miles per hour was coming at 50 miles per hour. Majima ran up to Iida, backhanding the boy in the chest and watching him slowly begin to rocket back towards where the students had started. He held back, duh, didn't want to kill the poor kid, but Aizawa told him that Iida's armour was much thicker than it looked, meaning he felt that the kid could take the hit.
He turned off desync, trying to look around for Ojiro. Seriously, was he just gone? He hadn't seen the guy since they started, wasn't he supposed to be trying to kick Majima's ass? Hell, he probably stood a decent enough chance against the time stopper. Between Ojiro's martial arts and Majima's lack of actual fights in recent years, he was probably rusty enough for the tailed student to win. But nevermind that, just wher- Oh, there he is, walking around the perimeter of the arena. Why wasn't he trying to fi-
"Fuckin' hell!" He almost hadn't snapped his fingers in time to stop that boot to his face. That psychopath Iida had tried to launch a roundhouse right at his fucking head. He now floated in the air, frozen, while Majima tried to stay focused. What had he been doing? Fuck, whatever. He used Time Stop to move Iida all the way back to the starting area, walking back to his spot at the exit. He stopped his quirk, smirking as he imagined Iida eating major shit when his kick hit nothing and he fell to the ground. Was that another trail of dust? Why the hell was Iida just charging him over and over? Did he and Kaminari switch bodies or somethin'? Oh well, another kick, another snap, rinse and repeat. How long did these things last for again? He'd have paid attention to the details, but he didn't think that he'd have to fucking participate, so he'd kind of zoned o-
The bell rang, the one that means that one of the students passed. But that's impossible, Iida was st-
Ojiro! He'd fuckin' forgotten about Ojiro, god damnit! He must have snuck around while-
A metal-clad foot to the head ended that train of thought while Majima dropped to the ground like a sack of rocks. Seeing as he couldn't move his body anymore, he'd wager that Iida's kick had broken his neck and fucked up his spinal cord. Wonderful. A second bell rang out, meaning that Iida had crossed the finish line as well. Fuck, there goes that monthly liquor allowance idea he'd been trying to get past Nezu. Oh well, not like he'd been drinking any lately. Perhaps that money could go to a better cause, like hiring a carpenter to fix that hole in Majima's pride.
"Alright, Kokiri-san, what's the damage? I don't usually get called out here to help fix up the teachers instead of the students." He could only guess that voice belonged to Chiyo, one of the few people who he let give him this kind of shit. Doesn't mean that he won't give her some shit back, though.
"Alright, so you know how the human body is able to move around, right?"
"Yes, I'm well aware."
"Yeah." He couldn't see her face, but she was probably rolling her eyes at him. Either way, she gave him a dose of her quirk and helped him to his feet. He rolled his neck, wincing when he felt a weird twinge whenever he looked to the left. Whatever, his body resets in a few hours, he can deal with it until then. He followed Chiyo through the exit, where Iida began to bow to him over and over while yelling apologies.
"God damnit, will you shut up!" The class president stood straight with a salute, while Majima sighed and moved onto his next point. "Remind me to teach you guys some restraint. You do realize that some people can just die if you beat their ass too hard, right? I damn near almost did. Well, not really but it's still kid of rude."
"Yes sensei, I'll remind you when we return from the training camp!"
"Alright, well, moving on." Majima turned to Ojiro, "What was that back there? I'd have sworn you of all of my students would have tried to fight me. With these weights, you stood a decent chance, how come you didn't take it?"
"Because you were sober, Majima-sensei." Fuckin' what?
"The hell does that have to do with anything?"
Iida gave him an answer, "One time when I was studying with Midoriya-san, he mentioned that you got distracted more while you were drunk, which let you jump from thought to thought when you fought. He thought that this was how you could keep track of so many opponents at once in the stories you told him."
Ojiro stepped in to say, "When he heard you say that you were sober, Iida-san thought that you'd be more focused on your current enemy, and would forget anyone else around you. This way, as long as Iida-san kept you busy and focused on him, I could sneak around and get to the exit. When you got surprised by the bell going off, Iida-san would be able to take you down and make a break for the exit."
"… So you're telling me that being drunk gives me an advantage when I'm fighting more than one person?"
"Yes sensei!" They said together, which made Majima look over to Nezu with a big smile on hi-
"I'm not approving that alcohol allowance idea you keep putting paperwork for on my desk, no matter the reason."
"But they just said that it makes me a better fighter!"
"You shouldn't be fighting, Majima-san, you should be teaching."
"… I'm gonna convince you one of these days."
"Oh, I don't see you ever giving up, Majima-san."
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In response to a review from Entemoid, who asked me, "I wonder what he'll say to the boulder shaped head about his fear of bugs" I have only one thing to say to you.
Fuckin' what? I don't, I don't understand the question. Did I skip a chapter of the manga, or am I just stupid? At first I thought you were talking about that shit from Prometheus, until I realized that that had nothing to do with my story, which leaves me super confused about my answer to your question.