Countless of scribbled notes were jotted on a notepad that I had borrowed from Suzanne whom insisted that I address her as Sue. I honestly felt that I was an intern in training rather than my position in this magazine company. I was supposed to be a professional at this editing business yet I felt like I was a burden to this company as Sue nonchalantly went through a bunch of pointers that is essential in knowing what I have to do. The amount of new information she has given me started to become overwhelming as I hesitantly counted the quantity of pages I have scribbled notes in. I stopped at six pages; I did not want to know being that my utter feeling of devastation has begun to engulf me in its dark and daunting pull.

I suppressed a sigh and glanced up at Sue who just shut down my computer and smiled cheerfully at me. I smiled back trying to match her cheerfulness in the smile. I doubted that I even got close to her level.

"Don't worry yourself darling," she rested her hand on my shoulder. "I don't exactly know firsthand of what you're going through right now but it must be a lot especially since you are trying to get back to the life that you lived before the accident. Throughout your journey of remembering those forgotten memories, just remember not to stress yourself out too much. I think it will come out on its own."

I nodded petulantly. "I guess you're right. I just feel that people are extra patient with me as they usually are when they're using slow internet," this caused Sue to laugh, which I smiled at.

"Nonsense! Even if they do crack, you just should not take it personally. Anyway, tomorrow I'll have Gina and Therese to teach you the rest of the program we use. Gina and Therese are your closest friends here at work. They have been eager to get in contact with you but I advised them not to because I wanted your family and Tom to help you get into the habit of your personal life before coming here to work. It would have been overwhelming for you to encounter too many people in your life at once that you're mind now is not familiar with. Now that you are here in the work environment, I thought it would be the perfect time for you to be introduced to them."

"The names Gina and Therese doesn't really ring a bell," I pressed my lips together tightly. "But I do hope something that they say or do would bring some sort of old memory back."

"And I hope so too," she pat my back. "Well, that's all for today. You did well, you will learn quickly because you learnt quickly before," she winked which gave me a sheer hope that I will be okay at least for work.

She stood up from her chair that she had previously asked one of the staff to bring from her office and I mimicked her. "Do you have a way home?"

She seemed to care a lot for me which made me feel warm and comfortable around her. "I'm not -," I was interrupted by a knock on the door. I made a silent prayer that the person knocking the door was Tom because I had no way of getting home and I really wanted to know that we were okay after that event. Tom abruptly leaving as soon as I was introduced to Sue had troubled me all day. All I could think of were negative reasons behind his actions. I initiated that last kiss which went much further than his chaste kiss. Tom could be wallowing over this surprise move by me after we both declared to be friends and nothing more until I get my memories back. Knowing that Tom still is in love with me and doing this to him made me feel guilty especially because I have given him a signal that I wanted him and I really did not. I did not have the same feelings for him as he does for me and I felt that I hurt him by doing that to him.

I could not think of one good reason as to why I decided to kiss him like that except for the reason, of course, from lack of physical intimacy. Still, that would make me a selfish person or whore, whichever you call it. I preferred selfish person. On the same note I also could not think of a logical reason in declaring to that woman that he was in actual fact my boyfriend. It would not have made a difference to her if he was or not because she was merely a fan that just wanted his autograph. I did not even want to think about jealousy. I was not jealous. I was just angry that she… I gulped. I could not even finish that thought because I knew it was taking me back to square one, jealousy.

I must have missed Sue leaving my side and opening the door because she was currently standing in front of Tom. My inner self jumped for joy when I saw him speaking to Sue. He has come to get me which could also possibly mean that he may be okay with what has happened between us.

A moment later Sue waved at me and exited my office which left just the two of us casually standing there waiting for the other to make the first move. He slid his hands in his pockets and looked out the window before slowly letting his gaze trail across the floor of the office.

I half smiled at him. It was obvious that he was at a loss at what he could say or do and for once I understood him. I could be unpredictable sometimes. I guessed that he did not want to push my buttons.

"I'm glad you're here," I told him. My mouth felt dry and my hands were already sweating as I gathered up my notes. It felt as if I was declaring my deepest feelings for him. After that intimacy, I feel as if anything remotely said would come off as a signal that I wanted him. I did not want him, not like that. I still needed him as my friend. "I was starting to worry that you wouldn't come."

He lifted his gaze with a bright smile. "Don't worry, I would not abandon you."

This made me smile. He really does say the sweetest things that can make any woman's heart melt into a pile of goo. I did not however let him see the extent of how his response made me feel in my smile. Walking towards him with the same smile on my face he gestured for me to exit the office first which I obeyed and he closed the door behind him.

As we silently walked down to the lifts that would take us to the car park I caught sight of the woman that declared herself as a fan when we first arrived to the building. She had stopped what she was doing and blankly stared at us which started to make me feel uncomfortable. I glanced away to Tom when I felt his hand snake around my waist.

My questioning look marked clearly on my face caused him to grin.

"You told my fan that I was your boyfriend, I'm just trying to subtly prove your point."

"Smooth," I lightly backhanded his chest.

Cautiously I quickly glanced back at the woman and her lips had formed a straight thin line and her eyes felt like they were throwing daggers at us – well most probably just me. "She's fuming, Tom."

"She isn't the first one," Tom smiled while pressing the button for the lift.

"I must be the most hated person," I mumbled.

"You have a lot of people who love and adore you though," he replied.

We entered the lift that was filled with mirrors which made it look like the most luxurious lift. Soft music was heard from the speakers that made the silence between us awkward. Tom had let his hand go off my waist when we reached the lifts that were hidden in a separate room. I turned my head to see the mirror next to me which held the repetitive reflections of us. Tom was focused on the digital screen signalling the number of floors we were passing to get to the basement level.

I looked more closely at our reflection. We did not look too odd together especially with our appearance currently. I was in my office attire and he was in dark jeans and a button up shirt that faintly defined his torso. However I felt that I could not match up to his looks. Tom almost always looked good with his brown hair swept to the side and his stubble that caused him to look seductive. I somewhat looked too plain and hardly any physical features that would grab attention unlike Tom. My dark hair was in a simple ponytail which brought out the roundness of my face and my green eyes looked as pale as my skin. I had curves which I suppose were appealing yet I was not as fit and toned as Tom was, in fact, I was somewhat soft around the edges.

The lift made a soft ding sound signalling that we have arrived to the basement level and I removed my sight from the mirror. Pressing my lips together tightly I slowly followed Tom to his car to go home.

"We should talk about what happened today."

I turned my back to him and slowly unbuttoned my coat. I did not want him to see my face filled with panic. I shut my eyes and drew in a deep breath silently, "What about it?" I tried to sound cool and unattached. Hearing him sigh and have his footsteps approach to where I was sent my heartbeats in panic mode.

He stood in front of me with the look of apprehension plastered on his face. "You already know about my feelings for you and I am terribly sorry for losing control of myself and kiss you like that."

I felt the warmth rush to my cheeks and casually looked down. I cursed silently that my hair was up in a ponytail and not out to hide my ridiculous blush.

"But you initiating another kiss and kissing me like that…" his lips slipped into a smile. He sighed and waved his arms in the air, "I've literally gone crazy just thinking about how and why you kissed me! For a moment I thought you actually came back to me like you have remembered all those forgotten memories and that was why I responded to your kiss so eagerly because I felt like you were mine again. I just," he paused, relaxing his arms to either side. "I just want to know what that kiss meant to you because I'm going to go crazy here."

At that moment I was very aware of my breathing, slow and deep, and I put in so much focus on keeping my face blank. It was so hard though. How could one possibly be so calm about what has just been said? It was hard to believe that Tom had just confessed about the kiss causing him all this emotional turmoil. Despite that, it was so hard to ignore the heat inside my chest caused by my foolish heart briskly ramming itself against my ribcage. I just wanted to run to my bedroom and have a breather and replay what this man had just confessed and melt onto the floor and stare at the ceiling while thinking of a perfect response. But I could not.

I shrugged, "I'm not sure," I was loss for words. Looking up at Tom he watched me curiously, obviously waiting for me to continue. "It was just a kiss, I don't know. I was just in the moment and it almost felt automatic for me."

"Automatic? You mean to say you felt like you should continue the kiss? Like your body was obliged to do that?"

I shrugged again.

"Would that possibly mean that your body reacts differently to the way your mind does?"

"Maybe, I don't know. To be honest, your kiss felt nice and like you, I sort of lost control too and just…" I gave a half shrug and gestured lazily with my hand.

He looked down with a smile with pride over the compliment of his kiss. Licking his bottom lip, he then looked back at me, "I'm glad I haven't lost my touch."

"Oh stop it!" I chuckled and punched his arm. I quickly straightened my posture and dropped my smile, "Seriously though, I didn't mean to cause you to feel confused about the kiss and I hope nothing becomes awkward or uncomfortable between us because I like you," my eyes widened at my statement. "No, I mean you're my friend… okay scratch that," I rubbed my temple before opening my mouth again. "I like having you around," I gave him a soft smile.

He chuckled and pulled his hand up signifying as surrender, "Okay, no awkward or uncomfortable."

"Thanks," I felt relief. The last thing I wanted was to analyse my feelings for Tom which clearly did not exist. With a more relaxed posture, I continued to unbutton my coat and placed it over the sofa.

"Although, I don't think I'm the only one here confused."

I looked back at him feeling alarmed.

"But I could be wrong," he winked and gracefully headed towards the kitchen.

Of course he is wrong. I know myself well and I was definitely not confused about the kiss or anything about him.

I let out a loud enough scoff for him to hear before I retreated to my bedroom.

I am utterly grateful for your reviews, really, I feel both excited and joyful just having emails about new reviews and new followers and favourites. I thank you all so much for reading. It makes being bedridden for a few weeks more enjoyable. I also want to thank the get well soon wishes, you all make me warm and fuzzy (I have just taken strong meds that make me somewhat emotional so I apologise for the melodrama).

I hope this chapter is a good read.

x