"Xandarians." Rockets voice said. A small camera followed people as they went along with their business. "What a bunch of losers. All of them in a big hurry to get from something stupid, to nothing at all. Pathetic. Look at this guy!" The camera followed a man walking down the street with a short blonde haircut. "Can you believe they call us criminals when he's assaulting us with that haircut? What is this thing?" He looked at a small child who needed help to walk. "Look how it thinks it's so cool. It's not cool to get help! Walk by yourself, you little gargoyle."
"Do you enjoy insulting people?" Wanda asked.
"I only insult stupid people when they act stupid." Rocket said.
"You insult everyone all the time." Gamora said.
"That's exactly my point." Rocket said with a smirk.
The camera then landed on an older man who was talking to a younger girl. "Look at Mr. Smiles over here. Where's your wife, old man? What a class-A pervert. Right, Groot?"
"PAUSE THE MOVIE!" Tony yelled. He leapt to his feet and pointed at the old man on the screen. "It's that guy!"
"Oh my gosh, you're right!" Wanda gasped.
"How?" Peter said, dumbfounded.
"What are you weirdos talking about now?" Rocket asked.
"We have all seen this guy at some point." Shuri explained.
"He was even in Mister Doctor's movie." Tony added. Dr. Strange glared at him from across the room.
"How did he get into space?" Wanda asked.
"Should we be concerned about this guy?" Peter asked.
"I dont know… maybe…" Steve said.
"What does the word on the bottom of the screen say?" Tony asked.
"Uh… it says 'excelsior'." Quill read. "Does that mean anything to anyone?"
Everyone looked at the screen and traded suspicious looks.
"... This... this is creepy." Peter said after a few minutes.
Rocket lowered his binoculars and looked to his side. A tall, adult version off Groot was drinking water from a fountain. "Groot? Don't drink fountain water, you idiot. That's disgusting!"
"Groot!" Rocket said. "Get your head out of your video game and look at the screen."
"I am Groot." He responded, annoyed.
"I dont care that you're not at a save point, look at the screen." Rocket said. "You need to watch this."
"I am Groot."
"That is basically your father." Rocket said and pointed at the screen. Groot glanced at the screen for half a second with an annoyed expression on his face, but immediately turned back to his game.
"That's it! Give me the game!" Rocket said.
"I am Groot!"
"YOU DID NOT JUST SAY THAT TO ME!" Rocket yelled. He reached over a pulled the game out of his hands.
"I am Groot." Groot whined.
"You can have it back when I say you can." Rocket growled. "Just watch the freakin' movie."
"I am Groot…" He said.
"Yes, you did. I just saw you doing it. Why are you lying?" Rocket asked. Rocket lifted his binoculars back to his eyes and looked around. He paused on Peter Quill, who was talking to a girl. A small light flashed, reading the word 'human', and another light flashed, saying 'bounty'. "Looks like we got one. Okay, humie, how bad does someone wanna find you? 40,000 units? Groot, we're gonna be rich!"
Rocket looked over at Groot, who was drinking from the fountain again. Rocket sighed and shook his head.
.
Peter entered a small shop that has many shelves crowded with little odds and ends.
"Mr. Quill." Someone said. A short alien emerged from the back room.
"Broker." Peter said with a dramatic little bow.
"The Orb?" The Broker asked.
"As commissioned." Peter said and pulled it from his back pocket. He handed it to the Broker.
"Where's Yondu?" The Broker asked as he studied the orb.
"Wanted to be here. Sends his love. And told me to tell you that you got the best eyebrows in the business." Peter smiled. After a moment he pointed at the orb. "What is it?"
"It's my policy never to discuss my clients, or their needs." He said.
"Yeah, well, I almost died getting it for you." Peter said.
"An occupational hazard, I'm sure, in your line of work." The Broker said.
"Some machine-headed freak, working for a dude named Ronan." Peter shook his head. The Broker jerked his head up fearfully.
"Ronan? I'm sorry, Mr. Quill. I truly am. But I want no part of this transaction if Ronan is involved." The Broker shook his head and shoved the Orb into Peter's hands.
"Who's Ronan?"
"A Kree fanatic, outraged by the peace treaty, who will not rest until Xandarian culture, my culture, is wiped from existence!" The Broker said as he pushed Peter towards the door.
"Come on." Peter groaned.
"He's someone who's bad side I'd rather not be on."
"What? What about my bad side?"
"Bad side?" Wanda asked. "You dont have a bad side."
"Yes I do." Quill said.
"Uh, yeah he does." Tony said.
"Thank you, Stark. Thank you." Quil replied.
"His bad side is the equivalent of a sleep deprived five year old throwing a temper tantrum." Tony said. Everyone except for Quill laughed.
"It's true!" Drax laughed.
"That's not funny." Quill scowled.
"It's hilarious!" Rocket laughed.
"No, it not." Quill said. "I do not throw temper tantrums!"
"Oh really?" Tony said. "What about on Titan?"
"That is not fair." Quill said.
"You lost your temper, resulting in the death of half the universe!"
"I… dont know what youre talking about…" Quill said slowly.
"Stark, for the hundredth time it was necessary for him to do that." Dr. Strange said. "It was the only way for us to win in the end."
Quill stuck his tongue out at Tony, who scowled in return.
"I work with children." Natasha sighed.
"Farewell, Mr. Quill." The Broker gave Peter one more shove and slammed the door shut. Peter whipped around and started banging on the door with his fist.
"Hey, we had a deal, bro!" Peter yelled. He kicked the door. Hard. Peter sighed and stepped back, noticing Gamora standing next to him. She was leaning on the wall and nibbling on a small fruit that resembled a pear.
"What happened?" She asked and nodded at the door.
"Uh… this guy just backed out of a deal on me. If there's one thing I hate, it's a man without integrity. Peter Quill. People call me Star-Lord." Peter introduced himself.
"Nobody calls you that." A few people said in unison.
"Everyone calls me that." Quill said.
"No they dont." Gamora said. Quill crossed his arms and pouted.
"You have the bearing of a man of honor." Gamora said. Peter grinned and started tossing the orb up and down playfully.
"Well, you know, I wouldn't say that. People say it about me, all the time, but it's not something I would ever say about myself." Peter grinned.
"Wow." Steve said. "Where's your humility?"
"I am so humble." Quill said. "No one is a humble as me. I am the most humble person in the entire galaxy."
"Do you hear yourself talk?" Gamora asked.
"But I mean I-"
Suddenly Gamora grabbed the orb, kicked Peter in his stomach and ran off. Peter threw something like a magnetic rope which wrapped around Gamora's legs and tripped her. Peter caught up to her but Gamora managed to kick him off and started punching him. She held up her knife to stab him.
"This wasn't the plan." She said. She swung the knife down just to be knocked to the side by Rocket.
"Put him in the bag. Put him in the bag!" Rocket shouts. Groot grabbed Gamora and shoved a bag over her head. "No! Not her, him! Learn genders, man."
"Wow. And I thought we all hated each other when we first assembled." Tony said.
"We did." Steve said.
"Yeah, but not like that." Tony replied.
"I am Groot?" Groot asked.
"Yeah." Rocket nodded. "Gamora was trying to kill Quill, Me and Groot was trying to capture Quill, Quill was trying to run away like a frightened child-"
"Hey." Quill said.
"And Drax wanted to kill Gamora." Rocket finished. "Oh, and Nebula wanted to kill all of us."
"That's not very friendly." Peter said.
"When you say you wanted to kill each other, you're just exaggerating… right?" Sam asked.
"Uh… sure." Gamora said. "Let's go with that."
Groot let Gamora go, and she immediately made a dive towards Peter. Rocket held her back again and they struggled. Gamora turned suddenly a bit Rocket in the arm.
"Biting? That's not fair!" Rocket yelled. "Take it easy!"
While they were fighting Peter took the chance to toss Rocket aside and grab a weapon. Gamora grabbed a knife and threw it at Peter as he ran away. It sliced through his lower leg, causing him to collapse. Gamora ran forward and pinned him on his back.
"Fool. You should have learned." She snarled.
"I don't learn. One of my issues." Peter grinned and attached a rocket launcher to her waist. He activated it and sent her flying back.
Peter smiled and stood up, thinking he was in the clear. Suddenly Groot stepped beside him and put a bag over his head.
"What the…" Peters muffled voice exclaimed as Groot tossed him over his shoulder and started carrying him.
"Quit smiling, you idiot. You're supposed to be a professional." Rocket growled.
"Professional" Peter asked. "Professional what?"
"Isn't it obvious?" Rocket asked.
"No…" Peter said.
"I am Groot." Groot said with a slight nod.
"We were bounty hunters." Rocket said. "And the best bounty hunters in the entire galaxy, too."
"I thought bounty hunters only existed in Star Wars." Peter said, amazed.
"What's Star Wars?" Gamora asked.
"Only the best movie saga to ever exist!" Peter said cheerfully.
"Oh no, dont get him started on movies." Tony sighed. "He will talk for hours."
Rocket looked over his shoulder and saw Gamora sprinting towards them. "You gotta be kidding me."
Gamora shoved Rocket to the ground and dived towards Groot. Gamora swung her sword upwords and sliced both of Groots arms off. She opened up the bag just to be shot by Peter's gun. Peter jumped out of the bag and sprinted down the street as fast as he could.
"I live for the simple things. Like how much this is gonna hurt." Rocket grinned as he lifted up a gun that was almost three times as big as him. He pulled the trigger and a huge ball of blue electricity shot out and engulfed Peter. He collapsed to the ground and screamed in pain as he jerked and writhed on the ground.
"Yeah. Writhe, little man." Rocket laughed an obviously fake laugh. Groot whimpered next to him and gestured at his missing arms. "It'll grow back, you d'ast idiot. Quit whining."
Just then Groot, Rocket, and Gamora's limp body were picked up off the ground. A few Nova Corps ships were holding them in the air.
"Subject 89P13, drop your weapon." One of the officers shouted.
"What did he just call you?" Peter asked Rocket.
"None of your business." Quill, Rocket, and Gamora all said at the same time.
"I am Groot? I am Groot… I am Groot!" Groot said.
"Is that all you guy know how to say? 'None of your business'?" Clint asked.
"Dont ask stupid questions." Rocket growled.
"Crap." Rocket grumbled and reluctantly dropped his gun.
"By the authority of the Nova Corps, you are under arrest for endangerment to life and the destruction of property."
"All right. Come on up." Two officers said as they pulled Peter up to his feet. He struggled to stay standing and stumbled as they pulled him along.
"Hey! If it isn't Star-Prince." One of the officers teased.
A few people laughed.
"Star-Prince?" Nat asked.
"Ha ha." Quill said. "Very funny."
"Star-Lord." Peter moaned.
"Sorry. Lord." The officer, Corpsman Dey, laughed. "I picked this guy up a while back for petty theft. He's got a code name."
"Come on, man. It's a… It's an outlaw name." Peter mumbled as they pulled him along.
"Just relax, pal." Dey laughed and patted him on the back. "It's cool to have a code name. It's not that weird."
"Yes it is." Nebula said. Quill glared at her.
"Fascists." Rocket grumbled as they arrested him.