Chapter 14
20 December, Hogwarts Castle
"Finally, it's almost Christmas," Ron sighed. The three friends were sitting outside in the snow under a huge oak tree as the sky darkened, warmed by a fire in a jar that Hermione had conjured.
"And no more school is a bonus too," Harry added, holding his cold hands towards the fire in a jar. "But don't let Hermione hear you say that!"
"Personally," Hermione sniffed. "I think that a good break from school is just about welcome by now."
"Hermione saying that it's good school's over?" Ron shook his head. "The world just gets crazier and crazier each day."
"And that's before you add in a teacher who worships Roman gods," Harry laughed.
"He is a mortal who discovered the gods, and now he worships them to keep their anger at bay!" Ron joined in, in a mock scary voice. The two boys fell back laughing, while Hermione even cracked a small smile. It was nice to get the weight off their shoulders
for a while, and just share a laugh between them.
Ron continued with his soliloquy to his audience, jumping up and slinking back and forth like a cat ready to pounce. "The man burns his food to appease his gods, for if left unappeased, the unmerciful godsshall smite him where he stands, leaving
nothing but ashes in his place!" He reared up and waggled his fingers at them, pretending to be scary.
They all three fell back laughing, clutching their bellies, when a distant thunderclap caught their attention. They looked up. Clouds were gathering on the horizon, coming in their direction, while far-off lightning lit the clouds up.
"Is that a storm?" Harry asked with a frown. "Right now?"
"That sure came quickly," Hermione said. "Shame. It'll wash away the snow."
The clouds were lit up as lightning flashed, followed by a peal of thunder.
"You can tell how far away a storm is by counting how many seconds are in-between the lightning and the thunder," Ron told them unexpectedly.
"Yeah, I've heard of that," Harry agreed. "What is it, seven seconds per mile?"
"Five," Ron replied. "I loved lightning storms when I was younger. I used to watch them for ages. I used to think someone was mixing a giant cooking pot and making the skies swirl."
Lightning flashed. "One, two," they counted under their breaths in unison. "Three, four, five, six, seven, eight-" They were startled out of their revery as thunder boomed.
"Just under two miles away," Harry concluded. "We better get inside soon, it looks like it's moving fast."
They stood up. "Come on 'Mione," Ron urged, turning to look. She was completely still and looking up. "'Mione? 'Mione! What is it!" Ron started grabbed her shoulders and shook her. Hermione raised a finger and pointed upwards. Ron and Harry followed where
she was pointing, and their mouths dropped open.
There was a boat in the sky. A boat in the sky. A boat was moving, in the sky.
Ron made a slight whimper. "Oh-" And promptly fainted.
"What on earth is a boat doing in the sky?" Harry asked, shocked beyond compare.
"I haven't a clue," Hermione said, grabbing Ron by the feet. "But it's breached the wards and is coming towards us. It looks like it's going to land on the lake! Get the jar!"
With surprising ease, she flipped Ron over, pointed his wand at him and whispered 'rennervate'. Ron came to, rubbing his head.
"Hey guys," he greeted cheerily. "I must've hit my head hard, because I dreamt that there was a boat, that was flying. In the sky. How ridiculous is that!"
Hermione and Harry shared a glance. "Er, Ron? Look up."
"By Merlin's hairy buttocks!" Ron cursed. "There is a flying ship landing on the lake."
"Yeah," Hermione agreed. "Come on."
The ship had attracted much attention by now, and students were pouring out of Hogwarts to get a closer look. Harry saw Jackson charging across the grass to the lake edge. The ship started to descend, and as it came closer Harry could spot people walking
around on deck.
The ship was made of a weird bronze, with a dragon as the masthead. Shields and crossbows were lined up on deck, while two huge masts towered overhead. The ship touched down on the surface of the lake, causing waves of water to splash over the shore.
The Professor was standing on the very edge of the lake, at the front of the crowd. The wave had hit him directly, but he was the only one dry. Harry, Hermione and Ron elbowed their way through the crowd until they reached him.
"What's going on? Is it the students from Durmstrang?" Harry asked, standing next to him.
"Nope!" Replied the Professor cheerfully. "My best friends in the entire world!"
"And your best friends travel around in a big boat?"
Percy nodded. "It's called the Argo III."
"Isn't that the boat from Roman mythology?" Hermione asked.
"Greek, actually," he replied. "Here they are!"
The gangplank was lowered, and out came a group of people, led by a blonde girl who was carrying a laptop under her arm. She smiled when she caught sight of Percy, shoved her laptop to a buff Chinese boy behind her and charged down the plank.
"Percy!" she screamed.
"Annabeth!" He screamed back
They charged towards each other and fell into each other's arms, kissing passionately. There was a unified groan from the students, as almost all of them turned their heads away in disgust.
"We did not need to see that mate," Ron complained as the two pulled away.
Percy grinned. "All of you better scram unless you want to see more."
Most of the students dispersed, huffing and grumbling, but secretly curious, as Luna pushed her way through. Harry watched as the rest of the people on the ship disembarked.
"Annabeth!" Luna exclaimed, wrapping her arms around her.
"Luna!" Annabeth responded. "Is Minerva inside? And Severus?"
"Yup," Luna replied happily. "I'll go get them to prepare for you!" And ran off.
"Okay, what is going on?" Ron asked in Harry's ear. "Have we fallen into another dimension? Are his friends from Durmstrang? Please tell me his friends are not from Durmstrang..."
"They're all older than school level," Hermione told him. "It is not Durmstrang. What do you have against them anyway?"
"Y'know they say never meet your heroes," Ron muttered darkly.
"Viktor was really nice," Hermione said, affronted. "Stop trying to tell me how evil he is."
Harry gave them an elbow each and they turned to Professor Jackson.
"Guys," Percy said to Harry, Hermione and Ron. "Meet my friends."
A ragtag group had formed on the grass by the lake. Annabeth was in the lead, followed by the buff, Chinese boy who was holding her laptop as if it were the most precious thing in the world. Next to him was a golden-eyed girl who was tapping a wand against
her leg. She looked like the only magical person there, and Harry's gaze immediately gravitated towards her as the most normal.
Next to her was a short, curly haired imp wearing a tool belt and fiddling with various bits of metal and pipe cleaners, building tiny machines, dismantling them, and building them again. A beautiful girl who looked like she was a Veela was scolding him
- something about ping pong and cheese whiz? - with one of her hands protectively on her swollen belly and the otherpossessively on a blonde boy's shoulders. This boy was wearing thin spectacles that looked a bit like Harry's and looking warily
at the brewing storm.
"What did you do, Percy?" he asked.
"Why do you immediately suspect me?" Percy protested. "I thought we were bros? Besides, I'm not the only one who can annoy your dad."
"Well..."
"Oh come on! I've been struck by lightning enough already, it wasn't me!"
"Sure, we believe you," the imp told him unconvincingly, releasing a miniature eagle that flew one lap around Percy's head before returning to his hand where he disassembled it and used the parts to start making a helicopter.
"What about Leo? It could've been Leo," Percy insisted.
"Nope," the blonde boy with glasses disagreed. "He's been mellowed out since we had to leave Calypso back at Camp. She, Rachel and Grover are doing this project together to raise awareness about the threatened environment, and she couldn't miss it."
Harry might have been imagining, but Percy looked faintly relieved. "That's a shame," he nonetheless said. "But that doesn't mean I upset your your dad!"
"Why else would there be a storm right next to your school?" The Veela asked.
"It wasn't me!"
"Alright," the golden-eyed girl interrupted. "That's enough now. Percy, why don't you introduce us to your friends."
"Oh, right. Guys-" he gestured to his six friends and then to each of the trio, "-this is Ron, Hermione and Harry."
The girl's gaze locked onto them. "Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger and Harry Potter?"
"Those are the ones," Percy agreed, not noticing as the three of them shifted uncomfortably and glanced at each other. "Okay, this is Hazel-" he pointed to the golden-eyed girl, "- and that's her boyfriend, Frank." The boy holding Annabeth's laptop. "Piper's
the really pretty one, she's six months pregnant and we're going to be the godfathers and mothers!Her fiancéeis blonde Superman-"
"Jason," the boy in question told him.
"Correct!" Percy exclaimed. "The Latino imp is Leo - FYI, don't eat anything he gives you-"
"That was one time!"
"Sure it was," Percy replied, unconvinced. "And you already know Annabeth. Hey, where's Nico? I thought he'd come."
"Nico and Will are having a little quality time in Nico's cabin," Leo insinuated, gently elbowing Percy.
Piper rolled her eyes. "Will is checking up on him. We were attacked by a shadow monster, it sapped a lot of his strength defeating it."
"Speak of the devil," Leo crowed as the two boys came up on deck. "And what have you two been doing I wonder?"
Nico was holding Will's hand and limping. He glared at Leo, and man his glare was terrifying. "Shut up now Valdez."
Leo made a show of zipping his mouth closed. "Shutting up."
"Hi, nice to meet you all," Hermione greeted.
Hazel stepped forwards and smiled widely, shaking her hand. "It's an honour to meet you as well."
"Yeah," Leo said. "But as you can see Hazel and Nico are the only ones with the slightest idea of where we are and what this is. It was frankly painful - and I don't mean that in any offence, Frank - flying here with Hazel telling me: 'go right at the
end of the blue Mist- no you've missed it!' and Nico repeating: 'it's the castle where Death is strongest.' How am I supposed to plot in coordinates with directions like those?"
"Well, you looked like you had fun," Percy told them. "Hey, Ron, Harry, Hermione. I was just wondering if you could show my friends to the Great Hall, me and Annabeth need to... ummm... go get Thalia! Yeah, go get Thalia..."
Leo rolled his eyes. "What Percy means to say is that he and his fiancée need some time alone so they can make out. And if there's enough time..."
Piper hit him over the head with a shield from the rack as Annabeth and Percy both blushed. "Shut up Leo!"
"What?" Leo protested. "We were all thinking it."
"Thalia's here?" Jason asked eagerly. "Can I-"
"Guys!" Hazel stepped forwards. "We can all see Percy and Annabeth are frustrated-"
"In more ways than one," Leo snickered, before cowering away below Piper's irritated gaze. "Okay, Beauty Queen, don't get your daggers in a knot-" she raised her shield threateningly, "okay, I'll shut up now."
"Just let Annabeth and Percy go," Frank said, before awkwardly raising her laptop. "Do you want your laptop back?"
"Nah, hang onto it," Annabeth said, whispering something into Percy's ear. His face lit up and he pulled her in for another kiss. Water swirled around them for a second, seemingly pulled from the air, and when it receded, they were gone.
"Where did they go?" Harry asked. "You can't apparate in Hogwarts, the wards stop anything but authorised floo and portkeying..."
"Weird mumbo-jumbo, that's what I'm here for!" Leo crowed excitably.
Nico and Hazel rolled their eyes. "Hogwarts is the name of the school," Hazel told him.
"Pig-Pimples! No way!"
"I thought I told you to shut up," Nico growled, putting his hand to his head at the thought of the impending headache.
"Yeah, but only you Underworld Twins have any clue what's what, so we're relying on you here to translate."
"Just follow us," Harry told them. "It's about dinner time anyway."
The group started the trek up to the school. Hazel jogged up to the front and fell into step with Harry, Hermione and Ron.
"So, you're the famous Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley," she said.
"That's us," Hermione confirmed, glaring at the delighted look on Ron's face.
"Wait, they're famous?" Jason, who was walking just behind them, asked.
"In this world, yeah," Nico said, leaning into Will and holding his hand. "Harry vanquished the Dark Lord Voldemort when he was baby, and then again when Voldemort returned."
Frank frowned. "That's French, right?"
"Flight from death," Piper effortlessly translated.
"I didn't know you spoke French," Nico said.
"It's the language of love," Piper clarified. "I get it from my mom."
Frank shrugged. "I learned it at school."
"Can you, Piper and Hazel speak French together then?" Nico asked.
"We tried, but Canadian, Louisiana and original French are so different we couldn't understand each other," Frank replied. "Can someone else take Annabeth's laptop? Please?"
"No way, man," Leo refused, holding his hands up. "If even the big, bad Praetor is terrified then I know we're not gonna face Annabeth's rage when it is harmed in any way."
"When? Not if?"
Will rolled his eyes. "Give it here."
Leo stared at him as if he'd grown two heads. "You would willingly put your life at risk for Frank? Better watch out Nico, you've got competition."
Nico growled and reached for his sword, stepping threateningly forward even as Leo squeaked and hid behind Frank. Hazel sighed and raised her wand, pointing it at Leo as Frank, relieved, handed the laptop to Will.
"Silencio!" She intoned with a flourish of her wand. "If this is mellowed out," she said to Jason. "Then I think you have been around him too long."
Leo opened his mouth to make a comment on the cliché-ness of the wand, only for no sound to come out. "You had it coming," Hazel responded to his silent glare.
Leo opened and closed his mouth in an agitated and angry fashion. Jason face-palmed.
"You can understand what he's saying?" Harry asked.
"Yeah," Jason replied. "He's saying, 'I'm hurt that you choose your protective brother over the person who constantly annoys everyone, including your brother, and has angered every single...important person who's ever met me, including my own girlfriend'.
Wow, the Stolls were right, lip-reading does come in handy."
"Let me guess," Piper said. "You were forced to learn it because they kept silently planning pranks on you in front of you."
"Yep."
"Oh look, we're here!" Hermione nervously exclaimed, pushing the enormous doors open.
The group gasped as they saw the enormous hall. Leo leapt forward, mouthing something in awe. If he wasn't on mute, it would've probably been along the lines of: 'Dude! I wonder if I can program a mini dragon to fly around eating the floating candles? Like an air Pac-Man... I need to get Jason in on this...'
"Heroes!" McGonagall greeted from the teacher's table as Harry, Ron and Hermione hurried over to the Gryffindor table, partly to get away from the madness and partly to discuss what they thought about their professor's friends.
"Minerva," Piper greeted. "Lovely to see you again. Umm, Lockhart's not going to be wandering around, right? Because if he is I'm going to go and hang myself."
There was a ripple of laughter from the students and some reserved smiles from the teachers. "You really are nothing alike, eh," Will laughed, remembering the siblings' first disastrous meeting.
"Thank the gods," Piper muttered.
McGonagall waved her wand and a fifth table appeared to the side of the teacher's table, the rest of the room bending outwards to make space and obey the headmistress's command. Leo strutted over to it and tapped a series of knocks against the table top
before listening as if for a response. When none came he just sat down and waved the others over to join him.
"These people are muggles," Hermione told Harry and Ron. "Or at least he definitely is."
"Why d'ya say that?" Harry asked.
"He just said 'am I dreaming, r u related 2 Buford?' In Morse Code," Hermione replied, shaking her head. "Then he said, 'lasers 4 yes, nothing 4 no'."
"You know Morse Code?" Harry asked.
Hermione shrugged. "I thought it would be interesting. It's quite simple actually, you just have to memorise all the combinations for different letters."
"Doesn't sound simple," Ron disagreed. "Guys, remember when Jason explained what Leo was saying?"
Harry and Hermione nodded.
"Leo didn't say 'every important person I've ever met', he said 'every god and goddess I've ever met."
"One of you can lip-read, one of you knows Morse Code, I'm feeling a bit out-of-the-loop here guys," Harry joked.
Ron shrugged. "I had to, otherwise Fred and George would plan pranks on me in front of me. Nothing more frustrating."
"You need to learn sign-language, Harry, then we're even," Hermione responded. "Well, now we know that they're all part of the cult."
"We only really know Jason and Leo," Harry argued.
Hermione stared at him with a sort of are-you-kidding-me-I-can't-believe-you-didn't-notice kind of look that made Harry shift uncomfortably. "Jason was wearing a shirt with SPQR on it and Frank was wearing the same shirt under his jacket, I can
tell because the neckline was the same cut and had the same stitching. And Hazel had the same tattoo as Percy, just with a different symbol."
Harry and Ron glanced at each other. "Did you by any chance finish the Sherlock Holmes books?" Harry asked.
Hermione nodded, puzzled.
"Mystery solved," Ron announced. "I can now deduce that Hermione will go on to create a muggle moving picture based on it."
"There've already been many adaptations of Sherlock Holmes," Hermione informed them. "The most recent was a TV show by the BBC-"
"How do you know this?" Ron questioned in bewilderment and awe.
Hermione hesitated. "...Not important! The important fact is that Percy's friends are from the same cult...religion as he is."
"Blimey, I bet she has another crush on one of the characters," Ron whispered loudly to Harry.
Hermione looked scandalised. "Ronald!"
Ron continued, unabashed. "What was the other one's name? Davy Tennor or something like that. His hair is amazing, even if he creates paradoxes that can only be solved by Hermione. Believe me, she showed me the equations."
"I never said his hair was amazing!"
Ron snorted. "I watched three seasons with you without having the slightest clue what was going on. I think I can draw my own conclusions about his hair."
"Ron has a crush!" Hermione sing-songed in a distinctly un-Hermione-ish way, before stage-whispering to Harry: "I've only heard stories about what happens to people like him once they are drawn into the fandom..."
Ron looked over at Harry with a ridiculously panicked look on his face. "What? What happens? Hermione tell me...tell me now!"
Hermione cackled evilly in a disturbingly Bellatrixian manner, before completely ignoring Ron's attempts to get her to reveal her secrets in favour of squinting at Fred and George to try and deduce whether or not they were going to pull a prank, and if
so, on who.
Harry turned away from the more and more desperate Ron to gaze at the table where the new arrivals were laughing and joking - silently in Leo's case - and cuddling up to their girlfriends and boyfriends. He cracked a smile and a wince as he witnessed
Leo's attempt to cuddle up to Hazel, resulting in him being bashed over the head with four separate plates by Hazel, Frank, Nico and surprisingly Piper.
Leo then went on to somehow weld two of the plates together at one of the edges and open and close it like a mouth. He added weird wings, helicopter blades and complicated circuit boards that seemed to serve no purpose, then handed it to Jason who threw
it into the air - too gently, too high to not be aided by magic - then grinned maniacally as he directed it by remote-control to eat the floating candles.
Hazel smacked the back of his head, he let go of the remote and the plate-candle-eating-flying-robot crash-landed on the Ravenclaw table, where it was descended on by at least twenty students who ripped it apart to see how it worked.
As you do.
Harry shrugged, finished off the last of his meal and followed the terrified Ron up to the dorms, in front of whom was Hermione (Ron having insisted that she stay where he could see him - heaven knows what his reaction would be when they had to split
up to go to different dorms), who had figured out that the twins were going to prank the Third Years in History of Magic with fireworks that exploded with chocolate sprinkles.
Perhaps, Harry pondered as he let his head fall to the pillow. Perhaps madness is catching. Next thing you know I'll wake up with cotton candy hair.
He was wrong, of course. But he really wasn't that far wrong.
Next morning:
"FRED AND GEORGE YOU BLOODY GITS I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!"
Harry blearily blinked his eyes open to the startling sight of Ron with a bubblegum pink Afro with a light dusting of chocolate sprinkles running down the stairs to find his guilty brothers and change it back before anyone saw. Bit late on that front,
Harry feared as his fellow dorm-mates awoke with equally startled expressions.
Harry changed quickly and joined the steadily growing crowd in the common room. He watched as Hermione mournfully placed her massive Sherlock Holmes book on the shelf of books that had been there for years but nobody touched, next to The Origin of Species and Gilderoy Lockhart's Life, Adventures and Tragic Descent into Madness: The Complete Guide to One of the Modern World's Greatest Wizards.
On the bright side, at least she had figured out why the twins had pink stains all over their clothes yesterday.
And the other demigods are finally here! Whoo!
As a side note: Davy Tennor is Ron-speak for the amazing David Tennant.
As a second side note: I know that they really shouldn't know anything about these shows as they were first aired years after the Deathly Hallows concluded, but I couldn't help myself. And I am the author with unspeakable and unshakable power over my characters. You know, I'm beginning to come to the conclusion that fangirling can be detrimental to health. And let's not even get onto the health of the characters...
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