I was not going to lie to myself. The pizza was good. What was even better was the fact that Tom had initially ordered two large pizzas hence he was not lying when he said he has ordered a lot. I still had my suspicions about Tom previously knowing that I would have appeared at his door and making sure he had enough food for the both of us. I also did have my suspicions that maybe the maid was behind it all too. Regardless, I sat there and ate the pizza while Tom was devouring his box across from me.

"Do you have plans during your stay here?" he asked with food in his mouth.

He always looked polite and neat when in front of the screen or media but in his personal places, he really did not care about it especially because the people he is around are people that have grown use to him.

"Shopping," I said quickly. I obviously had no plans since I was dragged here against my will. I thought about it for another moment. I might as well enjoy it while I'm here. I have not been here – well at least cannot remember being here – so I might as well be a tourist and explore the city. "And exploring," I added.

"Sounds like a great plan. You should definitely go back to that mall we last went to, they have apparently expanded the shopping complex."

I nodded even though I had no idea what he was talking about, "I should."

"Please don't do what you did last time when we had a break at that café in the middle of shopping," he laughed.

I looked back at him blankly as I tried to think of what I possibly could have done at a café. "I won't," I finally replied.

"You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" he was grinning this time.

"No. You know how my memory is like. It's pretty bad. I forget things," I half-heartedly laughed.

His grin stopped and he watched me questioningly. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I have a bad case of not remembering things. What did I do at the café? I have no idea! But I sure do remember the shopping. How could I forget?" I continued my laughing except it was shorter and less loud. I returned back to my pizza and took a bite. I knew the questions were coming and I needed time to think while I looked like I could not speak with so much food in my mouth. Taking 3 large bites and looking like a blowfish while trying to chew it really slowly, I waited for Tom.

"Why did we go to New York?" he narrowed his eyes at me. Obviously, with lying to him about remembering everything just so I don't hurt his feelings were in his thoughts and he was afraid that there would be a repeat of it.

"You were working here," I said in between chewing the food in my mouth. "And you surprised me." I silently thanked myself for writing these things in my journal.

"What did we do on our stay here?"

"Sightseeing, shopping and you were filming," I gulped down my food and hoped that I was right.

"Okay," he pressed his lips together and frowned. I knew he was thinking of what else to ask. I knew he wanted to get to the bottom of things this time. I took a few more bites in case he was going to ask more questions. I thought I was believable enough. "I said something to you on your stay here. It was something serious. What was it?"

I felt my face heat up and my hands sweat. I needed to calm down and think of what he might have said to me. It was something serious. Could he have asked me to get married to him? If he did, the paparazzi would have known and I would have had a ring to prove this. Did he say he wanted to start a family together? Maybe. Did he say he was leaving me? That would also be a maybe. I was running out of ideas and I glanced back at him in defeat.

"You can't remember, can you?"

"Maybe not," I sighed and looked back at my pizza.

"Why do you keep lying to me?" he stood up from his seat and frowned down at me.

"What do you mean?" I squeaked.

"You said you remembered everything!"

"I did!" I put my pizza box beside me but did not match his posture and stand.

"No, you don't! It's something you could not forget!"

"Well maybe I just happen to forgot one thing!"

He sighed and sat back down with his hands on his face. He was leaning on his legs with his head weighing over his knees. "You can't keep doing this to me," he finally said.

I was watching him become crumbled and still on the sofa. His face was hidden behind his hands and it was impossible to see what facial expression he was holding. He was obviously disappointed in me. I felt horrible to be the blame for him feeling this way. I felt my ego that was strong and defensive within me begin to shrink at the sight of Tom. Even though my ego was shrinking, it still did not want to give in and tell him that I remembered only certain memories to which I have not figured out why yet. It would appear to make me stupid because I was so confident that I remembered absolutely everything, that I was so confident that Tom had created a façade of kindness and that soon it would disappear and he would constantly bring me down like my memories told me so and that I was helpless and vulnerable and was getting tired of Tom appearing in front of me in my time of need. I wanted to be independent, proud and happy but I didn't realise that all those things could hurt someone else.

I was biting my thumb for a brief moment as I watched him and standing up slowly. Gradually creeping up to him, I decided to do the right thing and release these damaging feelings. "I'm sorry," I said sympathetically and placed my hand self-consciously on his shoulder. His shoulder became tense under my touch. I didn't know whether to sit or stand so I stood still and waited for him to look up at me. The anticipation was slowly destroying me internally.

He remained silent as though he was expecting for me to continue.

Releasing his shoulder, I took a deep breath. "I thought you were a different person than what you presented yourself as and I was scared that as soon as I accept you as, you know, the important person in my life that you would change and become this negative human being that would slowly destroy me."

"What are you talking about?" he asked but did not move.

"Okay, well, what I meant is that," I shut my eyes and squeezed them tight. "I honestly thought I had recovered all of my memories but I didn't realise that only the certain ones related to certain emotions were the only ones I remembered. I thought you were, well, I still think you are, a cruel person because each memory I could remember is of you putting me down. I have this sickening feeling in my stomach and it's weighing me down when I think of you because all these remembrances of being furious, miserable and even feeling defeated because of you. We fight all the time and I needed to get you out of my life so I could be happy again."

"Lara," he said with a lot of sincere and hurt in his tone of voice. "I honestly did not think I made you feel this way."

"Please let me continue," my eyes were still shut. I needed to concentrate and vent out all my thoughts that I have been holding onto for so many weeks. I did not want to look at Tom and see what his reaction may be because of the thought of stopping me from what I needed to say. It was also a possibility that I was shutting my eyes to keep my ego down. My ego pitied and was disappointed at the moment and wanted to stop the whole thing together. I could not let my ego take a control of me, especially in this moment.

There was stillness that aimed for me to continue. "Not long after, I found my journal. I've written so many moments that were happy or depressing in there. I could remember at least half of the happenings I have written about. But I realised that I could not remember the blissful moments we had together. I was thinking of how nice it would be to go to New York just before I read an entry of you surprising me with a ticket to New York to visit you while you were filming. I don't remember that. I don't remember our anniversaries or those simple, nice gestures that you did. I started overthinking things, like how you might get worse and treat me horribly, maybe even become vicious. All this time I thought we had a bad relationship but it turns out that it was pretty pleasing from how I have portrayed it in my journal. I didn't want to tell you about it because I made a stupid mistake. I know I should have spoken about it with you but I was so angry with myself to be with someone all this time that did not treat me right. The girls just sent me here because they wanted me to explain this to you and that I had too much pride not to."

"The girls said that there was a certain surprise coming my way. I knew it would be you but I didn't know why you would be here," he paused.

"That's good enough."

"I'm glad you told me this. I have been wondering and tormenting myself over what I could have done to have you make that choice. I did want to call and promise to treat you even better and ask why you wanted to end this, but the way you ended it seem very serious so I couldn't. I didn't know how to approach to you about it."

"I don't know what to say," I sighed and placed both my hands on my temples on either side of my forehead. "After discovering the glitch with my memories, I don't know what to think about this. I just can't seem to move my belief away from the fact that it was not a great relationship."

"Would you like me to prove to you that I am at least an okay person?"

"Maybe… I don't know. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," he paused for longer than a moment. "Why are you still closing your eyes?"

"No reason," I opened them and jumped back from being surprised of Tom standing in front of me. "Regardless of the girls' doing, I think you should know that I did not plan to come here and apologise. The maid kidnapped me and you looked really sad," there was my ego again, trying to save a bit of its pride.

"I think you forget how well I know you Lara, you may not have recovered all your memories and think that you have changed so much but I can still read you like a book. Which is why I sent that maid after you. It was even better knowing that she was a big fan of mine and promised to act accordingly."

I gasped, "You did not just plan that!"

"I did I'm afraid," he smirked.

"I'm going to pretend that this never happened!" I huffed. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll be going back to my room."

"Come on Lara, you're too stubborn and you would not have spoken to me about this at all if I didn't do that. Aren't you a little glad that you've spoken to me?"

"I was but now I'm not because you're planning things behind my back!" I walked to the door. "I'm leaving!"

"You don't have the keys to get back into your room," he called out. A huge cheeky grin was plastered on his face that I wanted to push him and yell.

My face fumed, "I'll call the staff to notify them."

"The maid has your keys and I ordered her to keep it with her till 3am," he crossed his arm knowing he has won.

I narrowed my eyes at him. With my index finger pointing at him from across the room, I gave him the nastiest face I could pull, "I hate you."

He grinned and slumped onto the sofa and turned on the TV. "There are great movies on tonight. What did you want to watch?"

"Nothing," I said quickly.

"Suit yourself," he was still grinning and started to play a movie.

I slumped my back against the wall adjacent to the door. Even if I did not believe him, asking the hotel staff for a spare key would spark a rumour about us and I did not want that. Oddly enough, I did not want the public to know that we have broken up. I somewhat wanted to create an invisible bubble around him so no one will see that he is available. I was being selfish and I was being an idiot for not doing anything about this considering that I confessed and apologised.

I ended up sitting back on the sofa and watched the movie. I tried to look like I was not enjoying it by frowning and sighing but it was pretty good. He had good tastes in movies.

It was midnight when I moved to the sofa. Three hours till my keys to the hotel room was available.

I've got reviews about Lara and how much of an annoying and horrible person she is. I apologise about it. I'll try to make her nicer.

Keep those reviews coming!