The look that Tom held showed signs of annoyance and defeat as I stepped back away from him. I let out a short nervous chuckle and looked down at my hands that were tugging onto the rim of my damp shirt. We have not completely dried from the boat tour and it did not bother me because of the nice heat outside.

"You've got to understand that I was not behind the plan. I just wanted to let you know," he explained.

"I wouldn't know what they would bother to be so involved. I mean, I get the New York bit, but I decided to not even see you even though Gina and Therese were hoping that I would," I was scrunching the bottom part of my shirt now.

"They assumed that you wouldn't."

"And now they are planning every little bit of my trip?!" I exclaimed.

"It was just the plan to ask the maid to help with getting you here, that's it."

"Whatever, you played along too," I crossed my arms across my chest and slightly grimaced because my shirt was cold against my skin.

"I know, I did. I should have just walked up to your hotel room door instead of playing around and making things spontaneous but I did not plan your trip or book the same hotel."

"The thing is," I sighed and looked at him in despise. "I like leaving things at chance. The universe knows best, so if I want this car or a house or if I want to move to another country or better yet go back home; I'd leave it up to the universe because it knows what's best for me. This plan that you all were behind must have sounded lovely to you all but it isn't going to help me and my situation. So, yes, I did agree to go to New York even though I could have just kindly said no to the girls but I did not initially plan on seeing you. I had no intention at that time."

"Did you have any intention on hanging out with me today?"

"Well yeah, but that was after you forced me into your hotel room."

"'Force' isn't the correct term for it."

"Did you have a better term for it?"

"Request," he smirked. His eyes darkened and it did not seem like a good thing.

I scoffed and gave him a nod before turning my back to him and unlocked my hotel room door. "Whatever," I said again knowing that he hated that response and shut the door to his face.

I collapsed onto the bed and sighed deeply ignoring the fact that my clothes were still damp. I did not want to think too much about it but my mind kept racing anyway. I was just trying to understand why they would just plan things behind my back. Why would they try to take control of my life? I understand that I am not exactly the same person as I was before the accident but this is amnesia that is the blame for this and frankly, I did not want to go back to being the same person as I was which meant being with Tom or even giving him a chance. Maybe I was thinking this because I am angry but I wanted it to happen on its own. Just leaving it to chance just like those movies and stories that I have heard about victims of amnesia where they just fall back in love suddenly and unpredictably. I think that is beautiful. This, however, was not.

I know I needed to speak to Therese and Gina but now was not the time. I wanted to tell them personally so I know it is clear and that it won't happen again. For now, the idea of staying in bed and watching television shows about people's pointless lives seemed fantastic.

That all too familiar sound of the door knocking was the culprit for waking me up. I lifted my head up off my pillow and looked around the hotel room with my eyes squinting from the light that I must have forgotten to turn off. The door knocked again but this time it sounded more urgent than before. This caused me to shake off the sluggish mood and get out of bed. The knocks seemed too urgent for me to find bottoms to pull on so I answered the door with an old shirt I use to wear out during the day in my teenage years.

"What do you want?" I asked with the obvious look of annoyance.

"It's not what do I want, it's what do you want?" Tom replied. His eyes were slightly droopy and red showing signs of alcohol.

"I want you to leave me alone," I showed no signs of acknowledging his drunk state.

"I don't want to leave you alone."

"Doesn't seem like it's my problem," I shrugged.

"I didn't finish," he frowned down at me. "But I don't understand why you want me to leave you alone. You haven't given me a straight answer to why I should give up on you – on us."

"I don't need to give you an answer," I straightened my back to show him that I was not intimidated.

"You do, especially all the time and effort we have spent on building this relationship," and with that he stepped into the room completely ignoring the fact that I was standing at the doorway.

"Uh," I said loudly in annoyance and to hide that I was now intimidated. "Have you forgotten that I went through a serious car accident and I am suffering from amnesia?"

"Don't bring up the 'I can't help that I am like this' crap," he wobbled a bit before sitting on the chair at the end of my bed. "If you haven't noticed, I know you have amnesia and I have been trying so hard to help you to breakthrough that and remember what we went through. You're not helping if you're just going to close yourself off like this every time something so damn small happens."

"Well," I sat on the other side of my bed to keep the distance. I have not seen Tom drunk like this before therefore did not trust what he might be capable of. He was emotional and emotions tend to get the better of you when you're drunk hence why he has arrived to my hotel room. "I am done trying. I just want to get on with my life and let things happen on its own." I saw his eyes being filled with tears. "I'm not saying I've given up on us. I am only trying to say that this," I gestured to him and myself. "Should not be forced, it should just happen. We should just be in this flow state and let it happen rather than pushing it with reliving the past because let's be honest, I am not going to remember our relationship. We tried too many times and different ways to get my memory working on that." I felt like I was saying things from my subconscious because half the things that were coming out of my mouth I have not consciously thought of. Was I not ever going to remember anything about us?

"So what you're saying is that I should wait for you to approach me?" he looked defeated.

"Yes because right now, I don't feel anything towards you. Maybe because everything is being forced upon me, maybe not. I don't mind being around you, I just don't want any of the romance."

He nodded solemnly and stood up slowly and stumbled before he caught his balance. "Right, I'll be on my way then," his effort to sound cheerful was appalling. He stumbled to the door and opened it a little too quickly causing him to almost fall.

"Did you want me to walk you to your room?" I got up and held the door for him.

"Nope," and with that he toppled off.

"We are so sorry but there is no reason to blame Tom about this," Gina said sincerely. "I was more of the instigator behind all of this and Tom was forced to be in this plan. I just wanted you to be happy."

"We both do," Therese added.

"I am happy now," I told them.

We were seated at a cafe just near our workplace. It was my first day back at work and it felt good to be in a routine again.

"What we mean is, really happy. You were always over the moon when Tom was around," Therese said. Her eyes were sparkling as she waved her hands around.

"My happiness should not depend on people," I crossed my arms across my chest and leaned back into my seat.

"But it did."

"And it won't be from now on," they both looked at each other before looking at me with signs of defeat. "I love you both but I just wanted to let you know how I felt."

Therese started to nod, "That's fine, I didn't realise we were meddling too much."

"I apologise too," Gina sighed. "But I just couldn't help it. Tom being in New York and sending you there seemed like the most perfect thing to do. Last time you both went to New York it was special for the both of you. I just was hoping that you would relive it – not to the full extent, but still realise how special it was for you both even though you might not have remembered. I assumed that it would still just impact you in some way and see Tom in a new light."

"The boat ride wasn't that special really," well apart from the intimacy but that happens all the time.

"I don't know about the boat ride but that wasn't what I was talking about," Gina leaned in. "Are you telling me that Tom did not tell you about it?"

I gave them a blank face.

"She did tell him to stop 'forcing' her from now on," Therese used her fingers to air quote.

They both looked at me with a smirk.

I watched them silently for a moment waiting for them to say something. "Well, what is it?"

Gina laughed, "I don't want to tell her."

"It would be better for Tom to let you know," Therese said trying to keep the straight face but I knew she was enjoying this too much.

I sat up and frowned, "Tell me."

Gina snickered and sat up as well. She looked at me sincerely, "Tom planned that New York trip just before your accident because he wanted to ask for your hand in marriage. I can't remember where exactly he took you but it was a nice place and you loved it."

"What did I say?"

"You loved him and said yes obviously."

I sat back in disbelief and looked out the window to recollect what was said. "So I was engaged before the accident," I looked back at the girls. "Where is my engagement ring then?"

Gina shrugged, "Not sure but you were definitely engaged."

"You don't remember any of it even though you are explaining to you what has happened?" Therese asked.

I shook my head. "So something must have happened if I wasn't wearing the ring."

"Or it was nothing at all. Maybe you took it off because you were washing the dishes or needed it to be resized. Either way, you were happy up until the accident so I doubt it is something to worry about," Gina said.

"I'm not so sure," I muttered. My gut agreed with me. There was something more to it.

I am absolutely sorry about not updating for the last 7 months. I had no idea how to continue and had a lot going on in my life. I finished uni and moved to England to work and that's about it really but it takes a long time to get settled in a new life. I am going to try and not delay the updating from now on.

I hope this is good enough for all that wait I got you all to do.

Please let me know if this is going the way you have wanted it to turn out.