Chapter 2

Shepard waited for the door to open. A dark sky filled the windows at the end of the hallway. Dark windows always made her feel more awake. On the ship, it was always dark. Dark was normal. It was the sunshine that burned away confidence and security. The sliding doors opened, and Miranda stood in the doorway.

"Shepard. Come in."

Shepard strolled past her. "Hey."

Miranda's apartment looked more like a work area. The tablets and blinking machine monitors illuminated the dark apartment. A desk cluttered with papers and paused vids sat in the back of the room near the kitchen.

"What're you doing?"

"The usual, Shepard. Waiting for you."

"What?" Shepard spun around. "Looks like you've been doing more than that. Look at all this – all of that, those monitors, whatever that is."

"Neural tissue scanner."

"They let you bring that home?"

"I'm repairing it. Most of them don't work anymore. This one still has enough eezo to make it worth salvaging."

"Well," Shepard said. "If the Alliance would buckle down and stop those raids on the eezo facilities, there might be more leftover for medical use. Sitting there in storage, just in case, is a damn waste. It's just a flashing sign to come take it."

"Classified eezo warehouses are hardly flashing signs, Shepard." Miranda passed around her into the living room.

"Granted. Makes you wonder how they know about it then, right?"

Miranda shrugged. "How are your new quarters working out?"

"Can't complain. Used to be a General Gies's. A step up from my barracks on Arcturus, no question. Probably one of the nicer rooms."

"Step up from a hospital bed or the couch too, I imagine."

"Miranda, your halfway house's looking more and more like the hospital. If I was on the couch now, I'd wake in a panic thinking was still there."

Shepard wandered over to the desk. She squinted at the monitor. A map of neural connections blinked over the right hemisphere of a brain.

"I like your art."

"Running scenarios." Miranda came up beside her. "Lots of patients still suffering from what Cerberus did to them. A lot still injured from the war. Head injuries don't just bounce back. Not for most people anyway."

"Just need your Cerberus resources again. You could rebuild everyone."

"The resources bringing even one dead person back is astronomical. It'll never happen again. That knowledge's lost. Cerberus's gone, and the crucible took care of the rest. You only got off this time, because you weren't brain dead. Even I couldn't have brought you back then."

"Once was enough."

Rains tapped on the window. Streaks of water streamed down the outside of the glass. Even with darkness, it still wasn't like space. Earth's weather, seasons, wildlife is what home was to most humans, if they weren't born on a colony like her. Mindoir had solar storms, not rainclouds. There was something a little tragic in thinking of someone finding rain a comforting, nostalgic sound. If you joined the Alliance, you'd never hear it again except for trips home, once or twice a year. Better to be soothed by the soft bubbles of a fish tank. At least that could be with you in space.

"You said you needed to see me?" Shepard asked.

Miranda leaned over her desk rotating a 3D brain hologram.

"Oh, right," she said standing away from the desk. "Just a quick scan."

She turned her Omni-Tool on, and Shepard held still.

Miranda scanned a beam up her body. "You're so busy now. It's hard to even get a moment to—" Miranda stopped. Her Omni-Tool glowed in Shepard's face. "This can't be right. Hold still, Shepard."

Miranda punched keys into her Omni-Tool. The scan changed colors and brightened. Shepard squinted into it.

"Don't move," Miranda said.

"I'm—"

"Don't talk. Just hold still." Miranda lowered her Omni-Tool with a frown. "Just hold on."

Miranda rushed to an end table by her couch. She dug around in a plastic box and pulled out a data chip. She snapped it into her Omni-Tool. A screen popped by and her fingers scrolling through it as she wandered back.

"Close your eyes this time, and hold your breath. Don't move."

"What's this about, Miranda?"

"Just do what I said, Shepard."

Shepard sucked in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She actually felt the scan this time, a tingling across her scalp. A vague headache started to pulse.

"There. Done. You can move."

Miranda pulled out the chip and walked to her desk's computer. The chip slid into the side slot on the monitor. The brain image from before winked out, and lines and numbers slid across the screen.

Miranda's breath caught. "No, no, no."

Shepard rushed over to her. "What is it? You're worrying me."

Miranda spun around. "Did you use your biotics?"

Shepard hesitated. "No, but …"

"But?"

"I almost did, but I stopped in time. It wasn't even enough to make a visible field appear over my skin. That was this morning. I haven't felt any different."

"You feel perfectly fine?"

"No changes."

Miranda hunched over the monitor. "Your implant, not the Cerberus ones, your L3 implant, the readings are off. Energy pulses, but slow ones. Maybe not enough wave potential to disrupt any processes, too weak." She looked over her shoulder at Shepard. "I want to see you tomorrow. First thing."

"How significant is this, Miranda? What are we talking about here?"

"I don't know, Shepard," Miranda said. "I just know it's abnormal. I haven't worked with L3 implants, but if it's not acting normally it's a risk. Something's wrong."

"You didn't see this before on my scans?"

"No, this is new."

Shepard shifted on her feet and frowned at the monitor. "Okay. I'll come back in the morning then. You think it's because I reached out for it?"

"Couldn't say. Seems likely though. Just be careful. Rest for the evening. Go straight home."

"Oh. Hmm …"

"No 'hmm,' Shepard." Miranda pointed a finger at her. "I mean it. Don't make all my work for nothing."

Shepard grinned at her. "You should've removed that 'free will' design flaw you missed the last time."

"Don't make me follow you home. Just tell me you'll go straight to your new pad, sleep, and come right back in the morning. No diversions."

"Okay, I will. I had plans, but I'll cancel them."

Miranda sighed. "I don't actually need to see you canceling your plans in front of me, do I?"

"I mean it," Shepard said.

The front door chirped. It slid open. A version of Miranda came in, younger and smiley with a less assured gait.

"Ori. Hi," Shepard said.

"Shepard," Oriana stopped short with a widening grin. "Not sleeping in the extra room again, are you?"

"Not tonight."

"Good. I mean - you can stay anytime. It's just, I'd have to clean it up so you could get to the couch."

"Oriana is working on a sculpture. A memorial."

"Really? That's great," Shepard said.

Oriana stood at the mouth of the hallway. "It's for the Summit next year. One of the council staff saw my work in the memorial gardens, the fallen soldier statue. Told the councilor, and he commissioned it."

"Councilor Mason?"

"Heard he's friendly to biotics. You met him?" Miranda said.

"A few times. Wife died on the Tin Star, has two kids, both the Alliance. Biotics, I hear."

"Both of them?"

"Twins, I think. Overall though, he's focused on cooperation, and his priorities seem right. Guess we'll see when decisions start counting."

Oriana smiled and gave a little wave before turning down the hall.

"It's a mess in here," Oriana called back before disappearing into her room.

Miranda's lips curled up. She glanced at Shepard. "Things turned out much better than I thought."

"Looked pretty grim," Shepard said. "What's the sculpture actually of?"

Miranda gave a sideways smile. "You'll see."

"Miranda." Shepard stepped in closer. "If you really want me to rest well tonight, you'll assure me I'm not part of that sculpture."

"Of course not."

"Okay. Good."

"Your clone though …"

Shepard stared at Miranda's blank face. Unreadable.

"I honestly don't know if you're yanking my chain," Shepard said.

"A joke," Miranda said. "I honestly don't know what it is. Oriana's still dreaming up the possibilities."

"If you can, try to direct those possibilities away from my direction."

"We'll see how well you follow orders to go straight home and rest."

"Deal," Shepard agreed.

x

Shepard called Liara on her Omni-Tool as she strode down the Alliance HQ hallway to her room.

"Shepard, I'm sorry." Liara's voice came through the earpiece. "I'm behind schedule, but I'm almost ready."

"Hey, don't worry about it. I'm actually glad to hear that. Miranda grounded me. Mandated flat on bunk time."

Liara's voice heightened. "Is something the matter, Shepard?"

"Just something off on a scan, one of my implants. I feel fine though. Too much time and money invested to let a malfunctioning implant stop me."

Liara didn't say anything for a moment. "I'm not sure, Shepard. I could be important. Check with me tomorrow. I want to know how you're feeling."

"Don't worry."

An exasperated sigh.

"I'll call you tomorrow," Shepard agreed.

"Very well. Don't forget, Shepard."

Liara's voice blipped out in her ear. Shepard removed the earpiece as she reached her apartment door. She'd managed to be busy all day until, but now she had to fall asleep. She'd listen to music then. She popped the earpiece back into her ear and stepped inside. Anything but silence.

X

Shepard opened her eyes. Pale light streamed through the wall sized window in her living room. She'd fallen asleep after all. She sat up in bed and gazed around the studio apartment. The clock said it was early. The sun came up early this time of year. Her Omni-Tool's earpiece lay in the middle of the bed. She picked it up. It pulsed with faint music. She'd listened late last as she turned and kicked off blankets thinking and trying not to think. She had better sleep before some of her biggest missions. A weight settled over her. She hadn't been alone those nights.

She climbed out of bed putting the earpiece away in her Omni-Tool. She was already losing the burst of readiness. Maybe it was the implant acting up making her feel sapped, but she really felt fine physically. This wasn't anatomical. It was a familiar feeling. It always felt a little different. She'd lost her parents on Mindor, comrades on Akuz, Ashley, Mordin, Thane. Those should hurt deeper than whatever this was. There wasn't death here. Everyone was alive. Everyone was happy, or rather, would be happy with time.

She splashed water on her face. The scars were almost imperceptible now. No one would guess the state she'd be in pulled from the charred remains of the citadel. Miranda did good work.

The light on her terminal blinked. It reflected in the mirror through the bathroom door. She walked to her desk and brought up her messages. It was an appointment request with Admiral Hackett. Her first official meeting in weeks. He wanted something. Maybe she'd actually have a direction again. Something needing done. The appointment was a week out. She accepted. Let it be a good sign.

x

Miranda was dressed and waiting for her when Shepard arrived at her apartment. Shepard buzzed the door, and Miranda stepped out into the hallway.

"Let's go. I want to use the hospital scanner," Miranda said starting off down the hall. "How're you feeling?"

"Normal."

It was early enough that the hospital stood hollow and quiet like a ghost town as their footsteps echoed down the hallway. The lights flicked on as they entered the scan room.

"Lie down, Shepard, and stay still."

"Is there a scan where I'm not still?" Shepard hopped onto the metal table and lay down.

"The machine is going to cover the upper part of your body. This will take a little while."

"Have any reading material?" Shepard peeked down at Miranda standing in the doorway. Miranda put a hand on her hip and frowned. "Eh. Probably wouldn't like the reading material you had around here anyway." Shepard rested her head back on the metal tray. "Pillows?"

"If you're done," Miranda sighed. "We'll start the scan."

Shepard stuck up a thumb up. Miranda sighed and the door closed. The machine flashed over her. When it finally stopped humming and retracted, Shepard opened her eyes. The room's door slid open.

"We have different definitions of 'a little while,' Miranda." Shepard sat up.

"Of course, we do, Shepard." Miranda strolled through the doorway with a datapad. "You're impatient. That's why you're a soldier, not a scientist."

"Uh huh," Shepard stretched. "That's the only thing holding me back from a Nobel in science."

"There isn't a Nobel for 'science,' Shepard. You seem to be able to do whatever you set your mind to though. If you can be patient enough."

"I get a lot of complaints on my shuttle driving."

"That, I believe."

"Too many navigation steering systems."

"If you're patient, you could learn the common ones."

"If you'd brought me reading material on it, I would've had time to learn them all."

Miranda gave her a flat look and turned her attention back to the datapad.

"Really though," Shepard said. "I couldn't do what you do. A soldier and scientist."

"It's almost like I'd been engineered to be perfect." Miranda looked up under her eyelashes at Shepard.

"Job well done, I say."

Shepard hopped off the tray. She clutched the table as her legs wobbled under her. She steadied herself.

"You could feel a little dizzy," Miranda said.

"Aren't you supposed to say that before I stand up? You want all your patients flat on their asses?"

"I'm a scientist, not a doctor."

Miranda walked over and handed her the datapad. Shepard squinted at the lines of text.

"This means nothing to me."

"Right there." Miranda pointed at the bottom line. "No abnormalities. It's clean. Whatever was there last night resolved."

Shepard shoved the datapad back at Miranda. "It's because I rested so well."

"Because I made you rest so well."

"Same thing." Shepard tested her legs then crossed to the door. "Hey, Miranda. You're very thorough, and I appreciate it."

"Thank you, Shepard. Just say that next time."

"I'll try to remember."

Shepard stepped through the door.