Chapter 12

Miranda put her hands on her hips with lips pursed. Her apartment was as cluttered as last time Shepard had been here. Granted, that hadn't been anytime recent. Maybe she had put off Miranda too long.

"Tomorrow?" Miranda said. "You tell me this tonight. How long have you known?"

"Your tone really makes me want to hedge that question."

"You've probably known for weeks. You tell me now like a second thought. You've been feeling well, doesn't mean you're ready. And, no medical officer either. Shepard!"

"You know we're short on medical personnel. It doesn't make sense taking one person for twenty to fifty people when she could be here treating hundreds. Some of the marines have medic training."

"She? Dr. Chakwas then."

"She's needed here."

"Well, nothing to do for it now." Miranda put her hands out. "I'm going to scan you at least."

Miranda crossed the room to her desk. She found a chip from a drawer and put into her Omni-Tool. She fiddled with the screen as she wandered back.

"All right. Hold—"

"I know," Shepard said. She closed her eyes and stood straight.

"If I find anything off, you'll postpone the departure."

Shepard resisted saying anything as Miranda brought the scan reader up her body. Light glowed through her eyelids as it passed her face.

"You can move," Miranda said.

"No way, it's being postponed, Miranda. You know how long this took? It's been ridiculous."

Shepard sat the arm of the couch as Miranda looked over the results on her Omni-Tool.

"Clear. You're lucky I didn't find anything, Shepard." The screen flickered off.

"I'll be fine."

"So sure?" Miranda said standing across from her. She folded her arms. "You haven't tried your biotics. How long has it been? Well over a year and half now."

"Don't count the months I was in a medical coma," Shepard said. "Are you forbidding me then?"

"I can't forbid you from anything, Shepard. You're strong enough to try biotics. Your cranial swelling is resolved. Your system probably could've handled the metabolic load months ago. We should have been trying a long time ago. Introducing it back, taking little steps, scans, intervening if something went wrong. That's if you'd ever agreed to meet with me or answer a call."

"I won't use them, Miranda. I've gone over a year. I haven't needed my biotics."

"Shepard, you've been in board meetings not on the battlefield."

"I'm not going to a battlefield. Probably won't even get to unholster a gun."

Miranda shook her head and sighed.

"Miranda, I know how to use weapons. If there's any action, I'm more than just a biotic. And, this mission isn't about looking for a fight."

"How long is it?"

"Might take a while."

"A while? Shepard! You need to come back. Soon. Take a good two to three weeks so we can work this out. Don't go straight on another mission. At least, promise me that. There was something wrong with your L3 implant nine months ago, remember?"

"But, it went away, remember? I never even felt anything."

Miranda paced. "That would be the problem. How wrong would it need to be before you knew? Without a doctor onboard, you won't know."

"Give me the Omni-Tool program. Someone can scan me. Communication hubs are back. At least in while in Sol, I can send you the data."

"And do what, Shepard? What could I do from here if I found something?"

Shepard stared at her feet with a frown. It was true. She'd had weeks, months to deal with this. She was just sick of being sick, she'd bolted at the first sign of freedom. She didn't want to know if something was wrong and slide backward.

"I got tunnel vision," Shepard looked up. "You're right. I should have returned your messages and come to see you."

"It would have taken minutes, Shepard."

"I know."

Miranda walked over to the desk and leaned an arm on it thinking. She looked over at Shepard.

"You'll have to be focused, Shepard. If things heat up, stay on the sidelines. You can lead from afar."

"I can control myself, Miranda."

"In the heat of battle, Shepard? Reaching for your biotics won't be reflexive? In a fight, you give yourself over to it. We all do. Instinct and tactic, catching the windows, and opportunities. All too easy to forget, Shepard."

Shepard stared at her. "Miranda, I don't what to say. I can't go backward and fix it now."

"Just listen, Shepard. Stay out of the fighting. Then come back soon as you can. Plan some medical leave. Your XO can handle it for a while."

Shepard clicked her tongue. "Not so sure about that part."

Miranda frowned. "Make arrangements. When you get back, we'll work this out. And find a medical officer, Shepard. The Alliance isn't going to allow me on the mission."

Shepard stood up. "Thanks, Miranda."

Shepard had been longing to draw her gun and stretching her battle legs, but now, maybe it was a good thing the trip just a retrieval assignment.