AN:/ So a lot of personal issues got in the way of this chapter, but good or not I'm proud to have finally finished it. Thank you to anyone who still supports this fic after so long. Please leave a review if you want this to continue. I appreciate all feedback.
Chapter 4: The Fading Calm and the Coming Storm
It's a funny thing, to be aware that you're dreaming. Obito realizes that the soft grass beneath his hands and gentle breeze tickling his face aren't real, but he still enjoys them as if they were. Reality is an uncertain and dangerous place right now, but here surrounded by endless fields and hills as far as the eye could see, he's safe and not nearly as alone as he would be out there. Kakashi sits above him, running his fingers through his hair as Obito curls his head against his lap. A genuine smile on his scarred face.
Kakashi hums and lets his hands fall to brush his knuckles over a crinkled cheek. "How much longer are you going to do this?" He asks continuing to stare ahead at the infinite meadows ahead. Obito doesn't answer and brings a hand up to tightly grip one of the other man's knees instead. "You can't just stay asleep forever Obito, it's been two months already. You'll have to wake up eventually."
"Why?" Obito says quiet and strained. "So I can end up in a cell in the interrogation division? I'd be happier here waiting for them to give up and just pull the damn plug. Don't you want me to be happy?"
Kakashi tenses and his hand returns to his hair to grip in a much harsher manner than before. He forces Obito to tilt his head up and look him in the eyes. One the same stormy grey as always, the other just a closed, flat eyelid with the old surgery scar faded over it. His fingers dig into his scalp and keep his hair in a death hold.
"Don't," he says, loosening his grip, "you dare…"
Obito lets out a slow exhale and nods with the leeway he's been given. He shimmies out of the grip on his hair and moves to sit up facing the other man. He rubs his sore scalp as he speaks. "I don't want to go back to living a bunch of lies and carrying the weight of the entire world on back. I just want peace, to feel something real-"
"What about any of this is real?!" Kakashi snaps motioning to the scenery. An eternal sunny day in the most peaceful place either had ever seen.
"You, and the way I feel," Obito says, not able to look him in the eyes. He's begging and he knows it.
"One truth among a thousand lies isn't reality," Kakashi stays firm. "It's a delusion, and a dangerous one at that. We both know you aren't done yet."
"Finally admitting you're real?" Obito clings to the hope of changing the subject, bringing his knees up to his chest.
Kakashi sighs and shakes his head. "Do you really think I would know if I'm real or not?"
A moment of silence passes between them, and Obito finally finds the courage to look up at him with his now matching eyes. "Maybe not, but I do. I couldn't have made you up. You'd just let me do what I want and stay here if I had." He moves forward and puts a hand on a pale cheek. The mask is gone, leaving him bare for him to stare at and touch as he pleases. It is his dream after all.
"What if I'm your conscious trying to get you to do the right thing?" Kakashi mused pulling him the rest of the way forward. They hold each other, foreheads touching with matching sad but content smiles.
"If my mind worked that way none of this would have had to happen," Obito says using the hand on his cheek to push his face so their lips are touching. "I'm a selfish man Kakashi." He pushes forward and the kiss steal both their figurative breaths for a moment.
Kakashi barely pulls away curling his fingers in that soft, dark hair. "You really can be sometimes." He presses another quick peck to Obito's mouth. "But so can I."
"I guess one of us has to stop eventually, huh?" Obito whispers while pulling away. He makes a decision in that moment and before he can take it back speaks up again. His hands fall away, biting back the tears. "Smile…"
"What?" Kakashi says confused and tilts his head.
"Please, just smile for me," He begs. "As happy and bright as you can."
Kakashi drops any further questions and does as he's asked. Curving his lips as much as he can up his face, laughter lines folding in and eyes bright as he stares at the other man.
His smile really is beautiful. He records every detail of Kakashi, from the slight crinkles at his eyes, to his flushed dimples, and holds onto the image like a lifeline and closes his eyes.
He gasps desperately for air when he opens them to complete darkness and the sounds of hospital machines beeping in time with his heart.
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"Oi! Bakashi!" Obito shouts beating his bandaged arm against the younger boy's shoulder that he's currently being carried over. "Put me down!" He lets out an ear piercing screech and pounds his foot against the boy's small chest. Kakashi to his credit doesn't even flinch and continues walking down the dirt path with the other boy over his shoulder. Despite a growing desire to drop the injured boy and let him crash into the ground.
"Tch. Flail around all you want I don't care," he says. "You shouldn't have walked off on your own."
"I was going for a walk!" Obito yells out crossing his arms and twisting his head to try and glare at his teammate. The bandages from face have long since been taken off, and the scratches and indents from the rocks that had been there two months ago are completely absent. Instead a smooth face with a medical eyepatch placed over his empty eye socket. A matching one on his own face over the sharingan he still hasn't quite learned to deactivate yet.
"And most walks you take involve spitting fire?" Kakashi says back rolling his visible eye.
"...It was at rocks, they weren't going to ignite," he mutters.
"That's not the point moron!" Kakashi growls and speeds up. The encampment and occupied hospital coming back into view. "You're supposed to be taking it easy, your physical therapy doesn't end for two more weeks. You could hurt yourself if you're not careful, and then you'll be back at square one! Is that what you want?"
Obito goes stiff and his face pales a bit, Kakashi seeing it just out of the corner of his eye. His expression softens when he sees the worry on the other boy's face. "If I let you walk the rest of the way back, promise you won't sneak out again?"
Obito nods and let's Kakashi carefully slide him down. He adjusts himself to shift some of the weight off of his scarred up foot. He doesn't have the crutches, didn't want to depend on them, and this leg still tends cramps up. He says a quiet thank you to his friend and the two walk side by side down the path. Kakashi occasionally glances over to make sure Obito isn't stumbling.
He's come a long way from the boy in bandages stuck in a hospital bed. Walking without assistance for the most part, and the scarring faded down except for the arm. His side down to his leg on the side the rock had toppled on have some light, faded marks from the weight of the boulder. His arm had been buried under more weight than anything else though, at least that's the reason the doctors gave for why the skin stayed so deeply knotted and folded up all across the limb.
"I just wanted to train some," Obito says, pouting slightly as he does. "I'm tired of being stuck in that stupid room all day, and being treated like I-" He stops and his brows crease, lips going tight in a line.
Kakashi hears the unsaid sentiment and slowly and a bit unsurely puts a hand behind his uninjured shoulder. He squeezes lightly. "I get it, but you just need to be careful. Ask me or Rin to come with you next time okay?"
"Fine, whatever," he says.
He still leans into the touch and lets a small smile fall over his face. They're right outside the camp and the guards only spare them the briefest looks while they walk inside. The injured teen and his teammates have become a familiar enough site around the place, along with their teacher coming in and out when he's called out for combat. They don't head straight for the hospital, neither ready to subject themselves to the suffocating and sterile environment they've been stuck in for most of the time the past couple of months.
Instead they make their way towards a large tent near the center of camp, with a few too many patches in it, and missing a front flap. A familiar girl with brown eyes and growing brunette hair pulled from her face by a headband is wrapping an ankle. She finishes just as the two boys walk up to the tent, and whispers something to another shinobi in the tent before she rushes out.
"Hey! You found him," she gives a small laugh. Her eyes fall on the hand still draped on Obito's shoulder, and her brow lifts when Kakashi quickly pulls it off. Obito of course doesn't notice.
"Shouldn't you be worried about your patients? The hospital rejects?" Obito scoffs.
She not so lightly punches his unwrapped shoulder and glares. "They're non severe injuries, not rejects! We don't need to take up space and resources in the hospital for minor gashes and breaks. And don't change the subject, you're still in trouble!"
He groans and throws up his arms. "It's like being in a team full of moms I swear! I'm getting lunch from the mess area, you guys can join me when you don't feel like nagging me anymore." He stomps away the other two watching his back with looks equally fond and exasperated.
"He's doing a lot better," Rin comments pulling her headband out and letting her hair fall back into place. It's unbrushed and a bit frayed from where she's obviously been pulling at it, matching the look the dark circles under her eyes gives. She's been working between the tent and the hospital ever since she was discharged, using it as her excuse to stay stationed in camp while they recover.
"Yeah," Kakashi agrees. "Back to whining about everything."
"You wouldn't want him to be any other way though," Rin says staring down at the hair piece in her hand. There's a slight edge to her voice that she quickly does her best to shake off.
"What are you saying?" Kakashi asks.
"Nothing," she gives a soft laugh. "Let's go make sure he doesn't end up shouting at the resource managers for "underfeeding him" again, and get something to eat before I go get a nap in while we're at it."
Kakashi doesn't answer, but follows her as they start going off in the same direction as Obito. They stand close, and relaxed. Her eyes no longer seeking him out as they once had and his no longer actively avoiding her. She suddenly breaks out into a giggle about halfway through the way there.
She looks at Kakashi with a wide smile and says, "It's a good thing you wear a mask." He sees the baited statement and chooses to ignore it, she continues anyways. "You're awful at hiding things."
"Speak normally," He says after staring her down for a moment. "I don't know what you're talking about.
"I guess you wouldn't huh?" She muses. She grabs his arm and brings them to a halt. She looks over to where Obito is as predicted arguing with the older kunoichi at the rations stand, thoroughly distracted.
"I talked to sensei before he was sent out on his last assignment...he told me some well, news," she hesitates before saying news. "I'll let you decide whether it's good or not."
Kakashi isn't sure they should be having this conversation in this crowded mudpit surrounded by other ninja. Most are paying them little if no attention, and too busy keeping in motion around the busy area. Still, the way she speaks makes whatever she has to say seem far too urgent to spit out in front of everyone. Then again, this is the first time he's spoken to her in the last three days with how busy she's been.
"He's been called back by Sarutobi-sama, and you and the team were asked to come with him," she says.
His eye widens. "So we're going back to Konoha when sensei returns?"
"I guess so," Rin turns her gaze up to the sky and her face falls. She almost seems sad.
"You don't want to?" Kakashi has never claimed to be as much a genius with people as he is with ninjutsu, but he's certain he's read these tells right at least.
She stays quiet for a moment, perhaps thinking her next words over. "It's just, these past few months have been different you know? So much has changed that if feels like forever since we've been back. I mean, it'll just be two months of worrying for everyone back home. They'll be the same as when we left probably but for us-"
"We might not be coming back as the same people we left as?" Kakashi finishes. The words come out soft and a bit unsure and he takes the chance to look back up at Obito now sitting at one of the many wooden tables in the outdoor dining area. He's stuffing his face all while talking fast and loud to everyone at the table. His smile is like a ray of sunshine on an otherwise gloomy day compared to the hardened and dour looking shinobi seated around him.
"Or at least the two of us won't," Rin laughs a little bit turning her attention to the same scene. "I've been thinking a lot over the past couple of months, and I've made a decision." He tilts his head towards her, but not speaking, he's not sure what she could be talking about.
"I'm requesting to take the specialized jounin exams in medicine when we return to the village. I'm going to apply to the active field duty division if I pass."
It's almost like time stops. A million little thoughts race through Kakashi's head and he stares off with her for a good half a minute. To which she's patient, her expression not betraying any expectations from him, and her hands folded gently together in front of her while she waits. There's something twisting inside of him, making their planned meal at the mess hall seem more and more unappealing with every second.
"That's a dangerous service branch," Is what he gets out.
"Is that all?"
No. Not even close. He knows how the system works, and he's taken the time to actually think about his teammates skills over these past two months rather than letting the thoughts just float in the back of his mind. There's no doubt she'll pass. With the way she can weave her chakra with a level of control even he envies. Even if her offensive capabilities aren't anything remarkable, that can easily changed after a bit of time actively being sent out into danger zones like she's planning. Obito's recovery alone is evidence of her skill and will get her request to take the test granted along with offers from probably every medical service branch in the village. Part of him wants to commend her and tell her all of this. But…
"Obito will be ready to start training again soon, he may even be ready for active duty in squadrons," Kakashi comments. "They'll want to put him back on missions as soon as possible now that he has the sharingan." He's stiff and toneless as he says it.
"They're going to promote him Kakashi and we both know it," Rin sighs shaking her head. "Between you putting him on a pedestal in that report, and the mission succeeding? We'll all be given honors, and his will most likely be a field promotion. Special jounin at the very least."
It fits. Obito's stamina and ninjutsu skills are impressive, and make him a powerhouse in the right conditions. His taijutsu is average at best and will need some training to get back to even that after resting so long, but he's also been delving into some genjutsu training. Between his proficiency with fire techniques and now having the sharingan to help him improve, he has all the tools to make him into a capable shinobi.
"If you go into active field medicine they'll have you out of the village half of the time, and with us all being above chunin rank," the next part feels like a slap in the face to say, "Team seven will officially be disbanded."
"Kakashi," she says softly reaching for him.
He shoves her hand away and stomps off in the other direction. He hopes she and Obito enjoy their meal.
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To their credit, it's another day after he wakes up before the village decides to make his life difficult. Before that it's all nurses and doctors, and a kind medical ninja with a gentle voice and even gentler hands running various tests. They take blood samples, poke and prod at his body and see what he can move. He's quite mobile for how long he's been under they tell him. The questions are probably the most annoying part of the whole day.
How do you feel?
Like he's just woken up from a perfect dream into an awful, frightening reality.
Do you have a name?
Of course he has a name, he just chooses to wait until someone official comes to give it.
Does the light hurt?
It takes him asking what they're talking about several times before he's told they've been shining a small flashlight point blank in his eyes for almost a full minute.
He's been expecting blindness, dreading it with every ounce of his being. His expectation is met and surpassed by about a thousand. There's nothing. Just an infinite and empty void all around him no matter how much he focuses, or where he turns. He even becomes desperate enough for even just an ounce of color or light that he tries to reach for his sharingan or rinnegan. He gets no sensation what so ever. The surge of chakra he associates with both is felt nowhere and he almost has a panic attack right there on his cot.
No color, no light, no faces. Just formless noise and powerful medicinal smells everywhere and nowhere all at once. He waits for the voices to vanish and the sound of the staffs footsteps to leave the room before he throws his face into his hands.
He lets out a sob, entire body shaking and his breath getting harder to push out with every second. It's a voice he's come to rely on that pulls him out of it.
"It's okay," Kakashi's voice echoes in his mind. "I'm still here."
He tries to remember that smile. The image he chose to hold onto before facing this fucking nightmare of a life.
"I can't see," he gasps out. "My eyes won't work...what do I do?"
"You adapt, and you ground yourself."
He reaches around until he feels his hair. Oily from infrequent washes and at least two inches longer. He pulls at it shaking his head.
"I can't," something wet and warm is running down his face, and burning his eyes. They're sensitive now, and every tears feels as if it's a struggle to push out. "I can't, I can't, I can't…"
"Yes you can! No one said this would be easy, but you've made it this far. You have to keep going, remember why you're here."
He chokes on the sob in his throat and let's himself hyperventilate for a little while longer. There's a brush of some sort of breeze on his shoulder. Cold to the touch, but it somehow makes his chest feel warm.
"I'm right here."
He gives a final few hiccups before steadying himself on the cot he's seated on. His palms still won't stop shaking, but he's not ready to jump out the window if he could find it anymore. That's something at least. He needs to get himself together. It's only going to get more difficult from here and if he breaks down now, then he's a lost cause. He's made his choices, and they've lead him here.
Now he just has to deal with it. Easy or not be damned.
The staff comes back not long after his little freak out ends. A few more tests are done and whenever he's ready to break down again, a cold brush over his shoulder or across his palm is ready to bring him back up. He answers their questions without giving any personal information away. They tell him it's late when they give him the sedatives, and he chooses to believe them rather than be realistic and consider that they're messing with his sense of time as a form of creating dependence. He falls asleep within moments after and dreams of endless hills and a man with a wonderful smile.
Then the moment of truth begins approaching. He can tell from the tone of the staff something is different from the first check in of the day. They're much more quiet, and their questions focus more on if he remembers what he was doing before he went into the coma and if he think's he can talk to other people. It's the nice medic who tells him a man named Yamanaka Inoichi is going to stop by to see him in an hour.
He remembers Inoichi, both as an adult he was expected to respect in his younger days, and as an opponent in the enemy army more recently. His speciality is the human mind, both invading it and picking it apart piece by piece until he understands it better than even the victim does. Honesty is the safest policy. It's also the one most likely to end with him thrown in a cell waiting for his head to be separated from his shoulders.
"A truthful deception can be just as useful as an outright lie."
He doesn't feel comfortable with how often he finds himself thinking Kakashi is right these days.
His guest makes an appearance thirty minutes before he's meant to. Soft knocks on his door alerting Obito to the newcomer.
"Yo? Anyone in here?"
"Come in," He swallows the lump in his throat.
The footsteps are lighter than expected and there's barely any rustle of fabric. The sign of a slighter, stealthier build. He tries to bring an image of the man to mind to see if that matches what he remembers.
"So you're our mystery man, eh? Welcome to Konohagakure," His voice is casual, almost friendly and the scent of nicotine enters his nostrils.
"Smoke?"
"We're in a hospital," Obito says. "And no."
"Just thought I'd be polite," He says and the scent fades away. The silence in unbearable without anything to distract him from it. He's grateful when Inoichi speaks again. "So, about you…" more footsteps and metal scraping against tile. His voice becomes centered lower. Is he sitting down now?
"You've put us in a weird place." he states sounding almost amused. "An unknown shinobi with no identifiers wanders into the middle of a battle during a vital mission and saves one of our own. And to top it off he blinds himself and falls into a coma in the process. Weird day?"
"Random act of kindness?"
He gets a small laugh at that. "How heroic of you. Speaking of you, why don't you tell me who you are exactly? None of that evasive stuff you pulled with the staff either. I need a name, place of origin, and preferably a few details that will make this whole situation actually make sense."
He feels a pull of chakra around him. He freezes and throws his head in every direction trying to find the source.
"Just a mental sensory technique," the older, or rather younger now he guesses, man explains. "Tells me what your emotional state is throughout this and gives me a bit of insight."
"Are you reading my mind?" He remembers rumors of the Yamanaka when he was younger. How they could pull thoughts from your mind.
He outright bursts out into laughter at that. "I wish it was that easy, my job would be a lot simpler then wouldn't it? Doesn't work that way, what you're talking about takes days of study and prodding, and has a pretty huge risk of destroying what you're trying to probe. So let's not let it come to that alright?"
The subtle threat is enough to put a shiver up his spine. He can't tell him everything, that can only end badly at best. At worst it ends with whatever process Inoichi had just hinted at taking place. Lying his face off is bound to get the same results. Vague half truths sound very appealing.
"You can call me Tobi," He's gone by that name for more than a decade, it won't feel strange to be called by it again.
"That's what you're going with?" Inoichi says sounding more entertained than put off.
"It's what I've been going with since I was fourteen," Obito snaps. He quiets himself feeling nervous. "Who I was before that wasn't anything special…"
"I disagree."
He stops himself from smiling at that, but does feel his nerves settling a bit.
"I was born in the land of fire, my immediate family wasn't anything remarkable," in the grander scheme of things it was true, it still feels like a betrayal to say. He remembers his grandmother, and her sweet, loving nature. "An older family member raised me after my parents died, and I stayed with her until my early teens."
"You were an orphan?" His interest peaks.
"It's nothing dramatic, I was too young to remember them," He admits honestly. "I don't even know how they died."
He knows he looks like his mother, smiles like his father, and reminded his grandmother of both of them. Anything else was a mystery, and grandmother had always looked so sad whenever he tried to pry any further than a few unspecific remarks. Whatever sad story was behind those longing looks she would give him when she thought he wasn't looking had always remained too hidden for him to share that grief.
"Still not exactly an easy start, so what came next?" He asked. "You're a trained shinobi, and probably at least A rank at that. You don't get scars like that without a story after all. Plus you were well built before the coma, and we're almost certain you used some sort of space and time release to escape the cave."
Inoichi lays the cards on the table quite courteously for him. He's either giving him a guideline of where to start, or just enough rope to hang himself with. He grips the sheets tighter taking some comfort in the feeling of soft linen on his skin. He lets out an exhale to relax his body and starts to explaining an edited version of his story as best he can without coming off as suspicious or an outright liar.
He tries to imagine a silver haired man sitting beside him and gripping his hand the entire time to try and give himself the strength he needs.
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"And?" Sarutobi sits at the desk with his finger pressed together and eyeing the heir of the Yamanaka expectantly. The young man hadn't come in with his usual casual demeanor and confidence. With his gaze shifted down and hands stuffed into his pockets, the blond looked quite conflicted. It was an interesting response to their mystery patient to say the least.
At least with the office empty they were free to speak without any worries of other opinions and input coming into play. A matter this serious was best kept with as few people coloring the results as possible.
Inoichi shook his head. "Well he didn't lie, but he certainly wasn't generous with any details." He motions to the file already on the Hokage's desk. "According to him he was raised in a village in fire country, though he wouldn't give a name, he was trained in his village until the age of thirteen when he was left to die on a battlefield. Which is where he got those scars from."
"What were the specifics on the incident?" Sarutobi pries opening the file and reading Inoichi's observations along with the statement.
Clearly truthful, but holding back. Hesitation and fear present in emotional wave legnth. Signs of post traumatic stress disorder in chakra spikes and physical mannerisms when discussing. Heavy waves of regret when discussing early life, and grief at the mention of his village. Evades giving a name. Destroyed? Or fear of being turned into custody? Possibility of an unassociated outlier village.
"A cave in," Inoichi says. "He was pinned under stones. A nukenin found him barely alive while scavenging the battlefield and took him in."
"That offers an explanation for his assistance at least," Sarutobi comments and begins to lift up his pipe off to the side. He'll need the tobacco to get through the day he suspects. Even if Biwako scolds him for it later.
Seeing a child in the exact position you had suffered from around the same age was hardly an easy sight. Especially when they were as guaranteed for death as Obito had been. But, he also knew there was little room to give in to sentiment towards an enemy. The man obviously had some sort of kindness to him to go all the way to risk death through chakra exhaustion for an unknown boy, but more than that he very likely bore little ill will towards their village.
"Relation breeds sympathy," Inoichi mutters. "When I asked about his life after that, he was about ready to shut down almost...there's a lot of regret and guilt there. It was suffocating just to sense it, I can't imagine how it feels. I'd say full on PTSD with hints of generalized anxiety at the very least."
The subject confesses to have killed, and committed other crimes under the tutelage of the older nukenin. Their service to their mentor came as a result of conditioning and a traumatic incident witnessed after their rescue. Anxiety levels spiking and breathing growing shallow. Subject describes the death of a young girl from his village by foreign ninja.
"So someone died and he fell out of the system?" Sarutobi mutters. It's an old story, or rather two folded into one. A loved one dying and disillusioning someone with the system, and being abandoned in the field and losing faith in your comrades. He could count quite a few rogues from their own village with some version of one of those stories.
"I didn't think it was wise to go into explicit detail over his activities during his time outside of his village at the moment." Inoichi states and there's something firm in his voice. "His mental state is fragile at the moment, and it's not just the trauma of whatever this poor bastard has been through."
"Something else?" Sarutobi already finds this an interesting mystery.
"Traces of an unknown chakra signature," Inoichi states. "Not active or doing anything, just echoes of what looks like some sort of mental techniques. Implanting something I think, but there's no way to know for sure." He shakes his head. "For all we know he might not be giving us all the little details because he can't. I can't tell what's been done to this guys head without an in depth probe and anything beyond surface level prying is going to shatter his mind at the state he's in."
"What would you recommend we do then?" Sarutobi leans back. "You must know we can't release him and let him be on his way?"
Inoichi nodded. "Careful observation by a handler, with chakra seals in place, and civilian exploration range within the village. Have one of my clan, me if you want, speak with him at least twice weekly to try evaluate the best way to maneuver around his mental situation."
"You're essentially suggesting we let an unknown defector live freely in the village with minimal security?" Sarutobi speaks. There's no mocking or even disapproval in his voice. Just a mere statement.
Inoichi stands firm, his shoulders squared and his gaze focused. He thinks of the poor scarred man with shaking hands who he caught around a dozen times involuntarily trying to look at him. Then the spike in his chakra when he'd realize his actions and remember that he could never see the source of the voice interrogating him. To see a man so vulnerable can create an odd sense of duty in their favor he supposes.
"With all do respect, this man is blind, frightened, and traumatized by a life of who knows what at this point and only here because he saved one of our shinobi," Inoichi says in an even tone. "Yet we don't appear to be very grateful for it."
The old hokage gives a small smirk around the tip of his pipe and blows out a tiny ring across the desk. He folds his arms in front of him and keeps his expression. "Fair enough, I'll agree to your recommendation, on a single condition." One more drag to steel himself for the stubborn younger man's reaction. "I choose his handler."