Jamie's pov

Once we got back to my childhood home, Dad and Pop started fussing over me and Mason, due to them having heard about the whole Kyle mess. Not long later, I had decided enough was enough

"OK, OK, I need to breathe; guys!"

They set us free from their anaconda grips at once, and my lungs were slowly replenished with much needed air, color slowly returning to my formerly pale face. We kicked back in the living room catching up, then watching a Jets game that got us aggravated very quickly with stupid wrong ref calls; but we won, so we all ended up happy. It was only the 5 of us in the house. Pop, Dad, Danny, me and Mase. Pop and Dad retired to their respective rooms after a while, and we had decided Danny would claim his old room once more; and since we wanted to be able to talk late at night; Mason and I would occupy my old room. The only problem was the fact that I only had a single bed in my room. My best friend broke the silence

"So, what do you wanna do about the room?"

I sighed; for my idea would fix the problem; but would also be equally heart wrenching and cathartic. But it was our only option.

"We get Joe's old bed in here. We never parted with his things and his room is just as it was. You take my bed, I'll take his."

My best friend agreed to the idea, and I don't know if my fear of an emotional impact from memories of Joe returning had been properly masked; though it seems they had. Either that, or Mase just knew I did not want to dwell on the subject or talk about it. Not at the moment, anyway. Regardless of my ever growing second thoughts about the sleeping arrangements, we fixed up the beds and went to our room, Danny going to his not long after.

Mason and I had just finished getting ready for bed so we could talk until we fell asleep when Danny knocked on the door, a gentle smile on his face

"Just wanted to say goodnight."

We smiled and replied with well wishes of our own and I internally shook my head; knowing full well that my older brother did not come over to simply wish us a good night of rest. He was actually just wanting to check on us, bus mostly me, after the traumatizing events that had recently occurred and trying to be sneaky about it. He failed. He's a detective and could've easily fooled most people; but I was not even just a cop, I was his brother and I knew protective Danny very well.I had seen him quite a lot, either protecting me, or another loved one; or just a kid or person who simply could not stand up for themselves. After a while, only Mason and I were left in the room, and I felt uneasy; and not just because of Kyle and his hit list that only had two names to be crossed in order for it to fall into completion.

Interrupting my thoughts, an all too familiar scent made its way into my senses, and I held back a sob, squeezing my eyes shut to hold back the tears. Most of my friends died today. One of them is still endangered,as am I. And that could not happen to my family. Not again. Because my brother and best friend, Joseph Connor Reagan, had been dead for a year; and the sensory overload of his bed, his sheets, his blanket, his pillow, his scent... I was sure I would not sleep tonight. But I could put up a front. That I could do.

I was brought out of my angsty thoughts by Mase, asking me to tell him more stories about working with the 12th and walking the beat with Sergeant Renzulli as my TO, or Training Officer. Happy for the distraction from my current train of thought, I complied and told him all the stories I had experienced this far; and he told me about a few crazy cases he had encountered as a lawyer. By the time we had finished swapping stories, we were both yawning, and the time on my phone read 2AM. Welcoming the sleep eager to overtake him, Mason said goodnight to me and I echoed in response, though sleeping was the furthest thing from my mind. Only in this scenario I saw that it may have been a good idea after all for my Dad to have taken me off duty until Kyle was captured. After all, if I am on the streets every day while he is here; he'd recognize me; and who knows what kind of arsenal and equipment he's carrying... Plus I get to try to sleep in. Keyword try.

I had been tossing and turning in my brother's old bed for an hour at least, kicking off covers to try to lessen the triggers of his faint scent; when I decided enough was enough. Mason slept undisturbed; his loud snoring keeping him from being woken up by my restlessness, while simultaneously contributing to it. I had grown unaccustomed to it after college. I quietly got dressed in the dark of our room, the darkness of the third hour of dawn not helping either through its reflection in the window. I quickly and quietly got my off duty weapon and holstered it; silently and carefully creeping out of the room to head out into the night. I was on a hunt for the hunter. I was after Kyle Manning, and I was going to find him. He'd pay for what he did and he would spend the rest of his miserable life at Riker's Island prison. I was going to see to it that that happened.

I opened the front door to leave in search of Manning, and nearly had a heart attack when I saw none other than my older brother, Danny Reagan staring right back at me with his arms crossed and a deadpan expression on his face. Once I had recovered from the startled state he had put me in, he asked

"Going on a midnight stroll,Bucko?"

Rather than answering, I shot back a question of my own

"What are you doing up so late?!"

He shot me one of those looks reserved for older siblings to use to challenge their younger siblings, as if asking for confirmation regarding if they had really said or asked what they had just said or asked; and replied

"What are YOU doing up so late? I figured you'd try to pull another weasel trick to bust outta here. Unfortunately for you... I'm me."

A classic Danny smirk followed that prideful boast, and it irritated me to my core, as I threw my hands up in the air in a frustrated manner, and hissed a reply, trying not to wake up the other people in the house

"You KNOW I can take care of myself! I have my gun on me!"

However, that answer did not satisfy my brother, who went on to point out

"And? The guy who took down 8 of your friends, OUR friends; begs to differ. And he's STILL out to get you and Mason. I am NOT gonna stand by and just allow you to risk yourself on some stupid, risky mission!"

I was getting more and more aggravated, given I was currently carrying the weight of the recent loss of eight friends and the risk of losing another; and with Joe's passing coming back to haunt me; all in the span of 24 hours. Sensing I was dangerously close to a breakdown, I shot back

"My FIRST mission is to get out of this house!"

And not just because I was bored. No. I needed some air to process everything that had happened, and especially to deal with the Joe situation. Upon hearing my comment about trying to get out of the house, Danny smiled smugly

"And how's that going for you, Harvard?"

I simply shot him a look. I did NOT need to be reminded of my shortcomings in a simple house arrest breakout. Even if it was from the Reagan household. His voice broke the silence

"Seriously, Kid. Use that brain of yours and think this through for a second!"

I nodded

"I will. On a walk through Central Park."

I knew I was pushing my luck with his limited, close to non existing patience, but I really needed some time to myself; to get a grip on my emotions. Giving me that cocky, sarcastic grin once more, he replied, sarcasm oozing from his voice

"Of course you will."

And with that, he grabbed me tightly by my hands; pushed me inside the house and shut the door, locking it and taking the key; stashing it somewhere in secret. But I had a few tricks up my sleeve. With that I pretended like I was going to my room, but took a detour and made a beeline to the backdoor, coming to a screeching halt upon seeing older brother bolting it shut and daring to smile at me

"Nice try, Kid. Oh, and I locked all the windows, so, the tree house is a no."

I was so busy trying to keep my tears at bay that I did not even bother to answer, and that's when my older brother asked, a softer tone in his voice this time

"Jamie? What's really going on? Is this just about the Kyle mess?"

Busted. I might as well just surrender and admit it. Words had since abandoned me, so I just shook my head tearfully. Now Danny changed his tactic altogether. His voice softened, his expression lost its harshness and he took me into his embrace, providing me with much needed comfort without even saying a word. He did not have to. I knew it was because of Joe, Danny knew it, and neither one of us dared to speak of it. It would have done more harm then good at the present moment and at my current state of mind. My brother sighed, keeping a comforting hand on the back of my head as he held me.

"What if I crashed with you guys? Would that help? We could both fit in his bed and I can help comfort you. I wish you would have told me this sooner, so I would not have been so hard on you; but I understand how hard this is to talk about. Wanna try to see if you sleep better, or at all, with me there with you?"

I took a moment to think. One one hand, it most likely would help me go to sleep; or at least to have a better shot at it while attempting the feat. But on the other hand, I did not want Danny to suffer the possibility of being triggered by memories of Joe as I had been while around his belongings, and I did not want him to feel crammed into a small space with me just because I could not handle myself. I was a lawyer and a cop; not to mention an adult. I should be able to deal with this on my own. After I politely declined but thanked him, I defended my understanding

"I should be able to deal with this on my own."

He shook his head

"No you should not. You shouldn't have to. Otherwise you would not have a family, let alone one like ours; who knows no boundaries or what the word privacy means. And on top of that, you still have friends; Kid. Lean on people. Let others be there for you for a change. Be honest. Would it help if I stuck around tonight?"

Knowing my reply was true, I asked

"Yes it would. Could you stay? Please?"

He nodded, ruffling my hair

"You got it, Kiddo. Let's go."

By the time we got settled in it was 4:15, but I felt secure and safe. I felt at peace despite all the circumstances that were trying to take that very sense of peace away from me; to pry it out of my life. No sooner had my older brother wrapped his protective and loving arm around me had I been lulled into a peaceful state of slumber.