A/N: Hi everyone, it's been a while, but here's part two! Since this will be a three-part, there's only one more chapter to go after this one (this is a lame authors note, I know). Please enjoy! :Meresta
Summery: The sound of pain is hard to forget, it clings to your ears and it rings through your heart.
Rating: T
Warnings: AU, malexmale pairing, language, blood, indirect violence, use of medication, suggesting use of alcohol.
Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy XII, or Final Fantasy XII; Revenant Wings.
Sound of pain.
-Yet there he stands, loving, bound-
Strangers were the ones you could tell everything. They would sit next to you and listen patiently, showing compassion and respect for the soul you're bearing to them. They would wear a constant smile, and hold you close when the night got cold. They would make you feel like you were worthy of life, worthy of dreams, worthy of love.
Then, they disappear.
Because once you got too close to these strangers, they wouldn't be strangers anymore. They would get access to your heart, they would become a threat. You'd have to let them go.
Vaan hated letting people go, he had watched too many loved ones leave already. That is why, though his heart cried for gentleness, he refused to let anyone close. Not even those strangers, because they couldn't stay strangers forever. Whatever the cost, he would never, ever do what his brother did.
---
Balthier didn't like love. He didn't like love, because love ties you to the ground, to a person. It took away your wings and with that, your freedom, a freedom he had fought so hard to gain. Though love was out of the question, he didn't mind sharing brief moments of his life with someone who appealed to him. Mostly, these moments were spent in the bed of that lucky person, and Balthier made sure he was gone before dawn, never to be seen again.
Sometimes, that hurt. Sometimes, the one he had left behind had conquered a place in his heart, and Balthier felt reluctance to leaving this person asleep in the morning. He'd go back to Fran and talk all day long, until he was sure to have convinced himself his decision was for the best. His partner would just sit still and listen as he fooled himself over and over again, wondering when he would realize love had been there all along, he just refused to see it.
---
"Filo! Get some clean water right now!"
Panic underground.
"Here, don't move." Vaan carefully gathered Kytes in his arms, leading the boy's hands around his neck. Slowly, he lifted him off the ground. The young thief made some painful sounds as he tried to hold on.
"V..Vaan..I'm sorry.."
"Shh, don't talk." Kytes was carried back to the main chamber, where Penelo had made a bed out of all their blankets. Vaan gently laid him down, and Filo arrived not long after, almost dropping the bowl when she saw the condition of her friend.
They had waited for him. Fragments of glass and pottery stuck out of his skin, large cuts covered his body. There was a wound near his temple, the blood it spilled stuck to his hair. Glass had reached his hazel eyes, tears flooding over his face in a desperate attempt to get it out. They had destroyed him completely.
Filo just stared at him, a heavy feeling taking over her body, making her nauseous.
"Filo, the water?!" Vaan sounded angry, but that anger wasn't directed at her. She nodded, and quickly handed the bowl over to Penelo, who started treating Kytes immediately.
Vaan sat by and watched, just watched, as she removed the pieces of pottery from his skin, washed the glass out of his eyes.
"Filo check his breath please." Penelo said sternly. The girl held her hand above his mouth and concentrated.
"I think he fainted.."
"Good." The blond girl replied. At least now he wouldn't be aware of the pain for a while. The three of them stayed by Kytes side all day, until night fell, and realization hit them hard.
"Vaan.. we don't have any food stocked up. One of us will need to go up." Penelo said.
He knew she was right, yet it scared him. He hasn't been up there since the fall of Lowtown and the thought of seeing the sky frightened him. Still, he wouldn't in his right mind let one of the girls go up, it'd be too dangerous.
"I'll go."
---
Days passed and Kytes hadn't woken up, so his friends hadn't left his side. Every night, Vaan went up to try and gather some scratches of food, but most of the time he returned empty handed. Both girls didn't tell him to go up during the day though, they knew very well of the fear binding their unspoken leader.
That didn't change the situation. The food was little, and the weather was getting worse, decreasing the amount of clean water available to the orphans. Penelo was drained of all her energy, yet she continued nursing Kytes with all she had, Filo loyal by her side. They had no choice.
One night, as Vaan was just about to go up, a shadow appeared by the entrance. Scared, the wheat blond quickly took a few steps back, to stay out of reach. When a small, paper-wrapped package dropped down instead of vases or crates, his curiosity got the better of him.
The shadow disappeared, and the wheat blond approached the package and picked it up. There was a small note attached to the front.
'Don't worry, I am keeping my distance. Unless you manage to throw that package back up here, you will have to accept my share.
-Balthier'
Vaan frowned and tore off the paper, it held nice smelling bread, two bottles of water and a vile with a blue liquid in it. He popped off the cork, and a sweet scent greeted him, assuring him it wasn't poison.
Honestly, he wanted to reject it. But he couldn't throw it back up and just leaving it here would be a waste. His eyes scanned the bread and bottles.
They really needed this.
He put the gifts back into the paper and took the bundle back to his friends. He would accept it for them, but he needed to think of a way to clear the debt he created by doing this. He refused to owe that man anything.
---
Time went by and life was slowly getting more stable again. With help of Balthier's constant packages, Kytes was slowly restoring. Penelo regained her energy and Filo started smiling again.
Weeks had passed since the first package dropped down the entrance, and while Vaan had been reluctant at first, with time he began appreciating the help and support Balthier gave them. If it weren't for him and the potions he sent, Kytes would probably have died. Vaan owed this man a lot.
He didn't take the packages directly to his friends though. To each package, a small note was attached, and Vaan made sure he ripped that note off before bringing the food to the main chamber. It had become quite a collection over the weeks and he reread them every night. His friends didn't understand why he ran off to the entrance every time they heard some sounds, but they didn't really mind because their caretaker was smiling.
-The second note-
'I see you have accepted my help, trust me when I say this brings me joy. Take care.
-Balthier'
-The third note-
'You wait until I leave before you get the package, don't you? I hope you realize I mean no harm.
-Balthier'
-The fourth note-
'It rained today, you must have noticed. There's an extra bottle of water inside.
-Balthier'
Slowly but surely, it wasn't just the food that led Vaan to the entrance. It were these tiny little notes, and the almost unreadable handwriting on them. Each and every one of them needed decoding, something Vaan started to enjoy more and more.
-The tenth note-
'I want to ask you many questions, but you probably won't answer them.
-Balthier'
-The fifteenth note-
'I caught a merchant by the entrance today, he was just about to throw down a crate. I was wearing my good shirt, so I kept from bloodshed. He won't be able to throw for a while though, I accidentally broke both his arms.
-Balthier'
-The twentieth note-
'I've been having a hard time sleeping lately. You are still eating well, right?
-Balthier'
-The thirtieth note-
'Recently I've been having these weird urges. Like showing you the sky.
-Balthier'
As the notes went on, Vaan felt his mindset towards Balthier change. The tension decreased, the feel of guilt, each time he took a package. His feelings towards the help he received gradually went from tolerating, to accepting, to appreciating. An affection developed inside of him, causing his heart to beat faster whenever a new package arrived.
Because that package would have another note to it, a note written just for him. A note to show him someone cared. That someone was Balthier.
Vaan had grown to care for him too.
---
Reks had asthma. Because of that, he was always the one going up for food. This was how he met him.
He was just about to go down when a rich voice reached his ears.
"Are you sure you can carry all of that?"
Feeling caught, Reks turned around to face the one standing behind him. A tall, broad man with clean blond hair showed him a charming smile. The boy blushed and averted his eyes, nodding.
"No need for pride. Here, let me help you."
He approached the silver-haired boy, who took a step back.
"No, thank you. I'll be fine. I have to go now."
"Go? Down there?" Slight confusion appeared on the man's face. Reks nodded and went down the first few steps, stolen bread and water held tightly against his chest.
"Wait!" The man called. "What is your name?"
The boy looked up, not really understanding why that would be relevant. When the blond man noticed this, he smiled. "I am Captain Basch."
This caused the oldest orphan to blush again.
"..Reks, sir." Now that Reks knew of his title, he figured it would be best to say sir.
"Reks.." Basch repeated. "Nice to meet you Reks. Let's meet again soon."
A little astonished, the silver-haired boy nodded again, before hopping down the final steps, back to his family.
It was love at first sight.
Vaan remembered his brother smiling like a fool, each time the captain was next to him. They'd hide their joined hands behind themselves as everyone sat in a circle and talked. Reks went up more and more, but the orphans saw no harm. That man made him happy, something he deserved to be.
The oldest orphan sighed, and headed for the entrance. It was almost time for the package to arrive. When it dropped down, Vaan didn't wait for Balthier to leave before he got it. He could feel chocolate eyes looking down at him, following his movements, but he didn't turn to meet this gaze. Instead, he tore off the small note, reading it impatiently.
-The thirty-first note-
'Meet me tonight, I'll be waiting.
-Balthier'
Vaan should have considered, should have thought about it, but he simply brought the food to his family and told them he would be going up, letting all thoughts of his brother go.
A few minutes later, a wheat blond boy carefully peeked out of the entrance. When a hand reached out to help him, he accepted it and pulled himself up. The second their eyes met, a strange feeling took over the night sky.
They hadn't spoken to each other since the time Balthier learned Vaan's name, yet everything had changed between them. They weren't enemies anymore.
"I want to know more about you." Balthier said, speaking nothing but the truth.
"Why?"
"Because you keep me up at night."
Vaan blushed deeply and hated himself for doing it.
"Would you like to join me?" The brunet asked. "We'll just take a walk around town."
Vaan averted his eyes.
"I.." He doubted for a second, but realized he had to do something in return. "..okay."
Together, they walked alongside the city walls. It was quiet, no one was around for miles, everyone safely asleep. Vaan nervously broke the silence.
"So..what do you want to know?"
"Whatever you want to tell me."
"Can I ask about you too?"
"Of course."
"You start." Vaan said, causing Balthier to smirk. They acted like children.
"Fine. What is your favorite color?"
This caught Vaan off-guard. He had expected questions about Lowtown, about the life there, about his family. He took a moment to recover and thought about the question.
"I don't have one." He shrugged. "There's not much color where I live."
"Oh come on, everyone has a color they prefer."
Vaan cocked his head to the side, trying to think of an answer.
"I liked the color of the stuff in those small bottles.. blue." Balthier smiled at this.
"What's yours?"
"Gold."
"That's not a color."
"I know, but for some reason I can't bring myself to care."
Their eyes met, and both chuckled.
"My turn again, do you like airships?"
Vaan looked confused.
"Airships?"
"..You mean you've never seen one? Oh dear.. I'm afraid you will have to come with me."
Balthier took this opportunity to grab Vaan's hand and drag him along the path to the Aerodrome. It was closed, but that didn't seem to impress the brunet. With a small iron wire, he picked the lock. Vaan stood by and gaped at the man as he broke the well-treasured laws of Rabanastre. The door opened and Balthier entered silently.
"Come on come on, we have no time to waste."
"What are you doing?" Vaan shrieked, running to keep up with Balthier.
"You'll see."
Vaan did see, when the two of them arrived at the right hangar. There, illuminated by moonlight leaking through large windows, stood the Strahl. Vaan's eyes widened and he could feel his heart beat faster at the sight of the airship. She was gorgeous.
"So?"
Silence, before the boy regained his voice and softly muttered something along the lines of:
"Yeah.. I think I like airships.."
Balthier proudly smirked at his wings, letting Vaan's amazement feed his ego a little. When the fire was extinguished, their eyes met.
Carefully, Balthier let his hand wander off to find Vaan's. Their fingers intertwined.
"It's your turn." He reminded the orphan, but he didn't seem to hear him.
---
Being the gentleman he was, Balthier walked Vaan back to the broken staircase, hiding the pain he felt having to send him back down there. Before Vaan climbed down, he turned to face the older man.
"Uhm.." He didn't really know what to say. "Thanks. For everything." Balthier smiled warmly.
"Pleasure."
They looked at each other, a nervousness between them. Vaan instinctively closed his eyes when the brunet came closer, to feel a soft brush of lips against his temple, and a whispered 'goodnight' on his skin.
When Vaan opened his eyes, Balthier was gone.
---
The next day, Penelo found Vaan still sleeping when she heard the package fall down. Carefully walking up to the entrance, she picked it up, noticing a small note attached to the front.
-The thirty-second note-
'They say flying is best done during full moon. Feel like verifying?
-Balthier'
Penelo's eyes widened, and went from the note, to Vaan, then the note again. It would be full moon tonight. Fear with hints of jealousy controlled her actions as she hid the note within her clothes. She wouldn't let him have Vaan.
About an hour later, Vaan was surprised to see his family eating. Filo was helping Kytes getting the food to his mouth. The ruthless assault had taken his sight, but he never once complained. Penelo sat with them, chewing on a piece of bread, more silent than usual.
"..The package came already?" He asked, scanning the ripped paper on the ground for a note.
"You were sleeping." She answered, a little distant.
"Was there a note with it?" He felt ashamed to ask, but he really wanted it. Penelo looked up and shook her head, emotionless.
"Oh.." The blond girl felt a slight sting of guilt at the disappointed face of her dearest friend, but she refused to give him the note. Vaan would stay with them forever, and no one would interfere. They needed him.
"Note? Was there supposed to be a note?" Kytes asked, doing a great job at facing Vaan, eyes hidden behind an improvised blindfold. Vaan blushed, which Kytes didn't notice, but Filo did.
"Not really. Be sure to drink all of that, okay." The blinded boy nodded and downed the blue liquid all at once. Penelo avoided Vaan's eyes.
That night, Penelo went to say goodnight to Vaan, but found he wasn't in his bed. Worried, she went to Filo who was playing in the main chamber, and asked her if she knew where he went.
"Up. Said he had to talk to someone..or something like that."
This caused Penelo to drop down on her knees, tears slowly welling up in her eyes. Filo immediately shoved aside the stones she was playing with and moved next to her.
"Pen? Is something wrong?"
Penelo shook her head, powerless as history repeated itself.
"We're..we're going to lose him."
---
"Vaan! You're early." Balthier, obviously happy to see the boy, walked up to him and smiled. Together, they started walking the same route they did the day before.
"Early?"
"Didn't you read my note?"
"There was no note, that's why I came up."
Confusion on both parties caused a silence.
"I am certain I put a note with it."
"But how.."
Then, it hit him. Penelo reached the package first. She must have read the note, but why would she keep it from him?
"..What exactly did you write?" Vaan asked.
"Basically, if you wanted to fly with me tonight. I had a better way of putting it though."
"Oh no.." Vaan halted his steps.
"Something the matter?"
"Penelo.."
"Penelo?"
"I have to get back." He said, quickly brushing off the brunet's hand. When he noticed the older man's confusion, he faced away.
"I'm sorry..I can't do this." He should have realized it sooner.
"Do what?"
"This. Stop sending food." He quickly started walking back, Balthier followed him.
"Why? What happened?"
"I shouldn't have met you. Just leave me alone."
"..Are you serious?"
"Please Balthier." He was just about to go down the first few steps when a strong hand caught his wrist.
"I thought I told you," The older man spoke strongly. "I don't respond well to orders."
"It's not an order." Once more their eyes met, then Vaan pulled free and went down, leaving Balthier to feel alone in a way he didn't think possible.
---
The final steps seemed harder to climb down than usual, and when Vaan had both feet on the ground, Penelo stood there waiting. Signs of cried tears on her cheeks, a small piece of paper crumpled in her fist.
"Penelo.." Vaan embraced her, gently stroking her hair. She started crying again, body trembling.
"Don't do this.. Please Vaan, don't do this.."
"I won't leave you. None of you, trust me."
"Then..will you throw away the notes?"
"I.."
"Will you stop seeing him?"
"Penelo, I-" She pulled away from him.
"Don't lie to me!"
"I don't know, okay! I know nothing anymore!" No hatred. Fear.
"We need you here!"
"You think I asked for this?"
"You can't.."
"Can't what? Can't let someone help us? Kytes would be dead now if it weren't for him."
Silence.
"I owe him this."
"You know.." Through locks of blond hair, she gazed up to grey, watery eyes.
"..that's what Reks said."
---
"What is wrong?" Fran sat down next to her partner and placed her hand over his.
"I.. I'm not sure.."
"You are crying."
"No I'm not."
A sigh.
"Have you.."
"I'm afraid I have."
---
"Vaan?" Filo carefully peeked around the corner to find Vaan not exactly sleeping. He sat upright, small pieces of paper spread around him like a blanket. His actual blanket was with Kytes.
"Please join us for dinner tonight..you haven't eaten for five days.."
"I'm not hungry."
"Penelo's really sorry for what she said."
Vaan looked up at Filo, and showed a sad smile.
"No Filo, she's not."
---
It was too late. Too late to change minds, to turn back. Too late to ignore these tender feelings, to remind yourself of the past. This was the time where you realized you couldn't stop it anymore, where you lost control. Just.. too late.
They weren't strangers anymore, they were falling in love.
Denied tears dropped on red carpet and dirty sand, cried alone and hidden for reasons they couldn't put into words. The sounds were silent but the pain hurt their ears, and there was nothing they could do to make it stop.
Reviews are very much appreciated!