Gibbs headed straight home, the minute he had got in he had jumped into the shower, trying to clean off Jenny's touch and smell before he got into bed with Hollis. As he scrubbed at his skin he tried to gather his jumbled thoughts together, he had never cheated on a woman before and he never thought he would but he had. Now, now he had to decide how to deal with his mistake, after all that was what it was, they had just got carried away. He was marrying Hollis, had committed himself to her and they could make it work, ok so it wasn't an all consuming love but they cared for each other, they had the same morals and values, it would work, he would make it work. The only problem was Jen, he wanted to stop thinking about her, he truly did but she had crawled under his skin. He knew what he had to do, he had to just block Jenny out, pretend it hadn't happened, it shouldn't be very difficult as long as he flew under the radar and didn't cause any trouble, it was for the best it really was.

As he stepped out into the bedroom he encountered Hollis in one of his shirts, folding back the covers, getting ready for bed. She had moved in the week before and already they had a sort of routine, Gibbs found it comforting in a way, to know that there was something stable in his life for a change. Hollis obviously heard him enter the room and she looked up at him and smiled,

'You were in there for a while'

'Needed some time to think'

She patted his side of the bed indicating that he should come and sit next to her, concern visible in her face as she asked, 'Rough day?'

'Something like that', Gibbs slipped under the covers next to her, his stomach churning with guilt as she ran her hand over his chest in a soothing manner and kissed his cheek,

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Not really', Gibbs turned on his side and switched off the light, the minute he did so Hollis began kissing up his neck, her hands slipping up under his t-shirt. He didn't know what to do, he knew that if he pushed her away she would wonder what was wrong but then how could he respond when just over an hour ago he had been with Jenny. He turned to tell her to stop but her lips caught his and the protest died on his mouth, the real problem was that when she kissed him he imagined it was Jenny's kiss, when she touched him he thought of Jenny's hands sliding over his skin. If he closed his eyes he was somewhere else, with someone else, it was only when she moaned his name as he kissed her stomach that he faltered and pulled back, he couldn't do this, he just couldn't.

Hollis looked at him questionably and he choked out, 'I can't Hol, not tonight'

She didn't question him, she knew he had almost got himself killed today and obviously emotions were running high, so instead she just nodded and moved closer into him, letting her fingertips draw soothing circles on his chest until she fell asleep.

Gibbs on the other hand stayed awake all night, he needed to stop this, he needed to stay away from Jenny and focus on his upcoming marriage, Hollis at least deserved that much. He would forget Jenny, he would block her out, he had to.

Jenny sat in her study, a full glass of bourbon hanging from her hand, she couldn't even bring herself to drink it, it reminded her of him too much and she could still feel him on her as it was. She had hoped that he would still be in the building once she had got dressed, he hadn't been though and his car hadn't been in the car park, he really had just walked out on her. She had felt numb on the way home, the initial hysteria had gone and even now she still felt numb.

Her house was mockingly silent, it was always silent but now it was oppressive, it felt as though it was choking her. Jenny stared at the rug in front of the fireplace, something she tried not to do but tonight it was like all her demons had escaped and were whirling around her. Unable to help herself she got to her feet and made her way over to it, kneeling down she pulled it back revealing the pale staining left in the dark wood. She let her fingers dance over the mark before she finally broke down in tears, she wrapped her arms around herself and cried until there was no more tears left.

The next morning Gibbs stormed into the bullpen, his mood only slightly appeased by the fact that his team was already there. Tony looked up at him, 'Boss the Director wants to see you in her office right away'

Gibbs hesitated slightly at that but managed to recover quickly, without saying a word to his team he turned and headed up the stairs to face Jenny's wrath.

He didn't knock, why break the habit of the lifetime? He heard Cynthia try once again to call him back but he ignored her, throwing the door shut behind him. Jenny was at her desk, she looked surprisingly in control, there was no sign of the rage that surrounded her last night, Gibbs stopped and stood in front of her desk waiting for her to speak.

She glanced at him over her glasses before removing them, she stood up and he watched in interest as she took a steadying breath, she obviously wasn't as in control as she was making out. Jenny finally spoke her voice steady, 'I think we need to talk about last night'

'No we don't, it was a mistake that won't be happening again, as for work I think we are both mature enough to not let this affect us here'

'Right that's fine, as long as we're both on the same page'

'We are', Gibbs steeled himself for what he was about to say, 'Look Jen I know that Hollis and I invited you but I think it's for the best if you aren't at the wedding'

She actually smiled very slightly at that, well it was more of a slight ironic twist to her mouth as she replied, 'I actually sent my reply away yesterday saying I would be unable to attend, it's on a Friday and I have to work so you don't need to worry. Anyway even if I hadn't already declined I wouldn't be going after last night, I feel it would be rather crass to turn up, don't you?', she looked up at him, her eyes were shuttered so she showed no emotion.

He avoided the loaded question and instead asked, 'Is there anything else Madam Director?'

Jenny turned back to her paperwork, 'Yes if you could send up yesterday's incident report'

'It'll be on your desk within the hour'

'In that case you can go Agent Gibbs', He left her office, not even pausing to look back.

Jenny waited until the door had closed before throwing her pen down, he was still marrying Hollis despite what had happened. She wasn't sure what hurt more the fact that last night meant so little to him that he could just brush it off like that or that he had actually had the gall to ask her not to attend his wedding. The fact that he even thought that she would have the cheek to turn up after what had happened last night just showed how little he thought of her now. He had been so unaffected by it all, it had taken her hours to compose herself enough to call him up here and yet he managed to stay as cold as ice.

It was lunchtime and Abby headed up the stairs to Jenny's office clutching a bag of food, the team were out on a case and she wanted to take the chance to talk to the older woman. She had brought lunch because she had noticed that Jenny had lost some weight recently and since she had already been slim to begin with it was quite noticeable. So Abby figure the best approach was to sneakily try and build her up a bit, plus she figured with Gibbs about to embark on yet another disastrous marriage Jenny would need a friend and if she came up with a way to get Hollis out of the picture it would be even better.

Cynthia was on her lunch so Abby knocked and waited for a reply, skillfully opening the door with her elbow, because her hands were full, when she heard the familiar voice call out, 'Come in'

Jenny looked up and was surprised to see Abby bounce into the room clutching a multitude of bags, 'Abby what is all this'

'Lunch', the Goth beamed at her, 'I thought it would be nice if we had a girly lunch'

'Abby that's a lovely thought but I have a lot of work….'

'Just one hour', the young woman pouted, 'Please Jenny, pretty please', she held up one of the bags, 'I brought these fancy sandwiches and these utterly amazing cupcakes'

Jenny stared at the bags, she was hungry and she couldn't remember the last time she actually ate lunch, plus it would be nice to have some company for a change, she smiled and stood up from the desk following Abby over to the sofa, 'I suppose one hour wouldn't hurt'

Half an hour later Jenny and Abby sat on the sofa laughing and for once Jenny found she was actually having a good time, well until Abby asked her, 'So are you going to the fiasco that will be Gibbs's fourth wedding?'

Jenny took a swig of her juice before she answered, 'No I'm not, I have to work that day'

'I'm not going either', Jenny looked up at the Goth in surprise, that she hadn't been expecting.

'Why not?'

'Because it's all wrong, they're not meant to be together'

'You don't know that'

'It's obvious.', Abby turned to look at her boss, 'Can I ask you something?'

'Of course you can Abby'

'Do you still love Gibbs?'

For a moment Jenny just sat in shock, she definitely hadn't been expecting that question and as much as she wanted to she didn't think she had it in her to lie to the bubbly young woman, instead she sighed, 'It's not as simple as that'

'Why not? If you told him I'm sure he'd listen and he wouldn't go through with it'

'Abby I am Gibbs's boss, if anything ever happened between us I would lose my job'

'If you love him isn't it worth it'

Jenny shook her head and gave the Goth a small sad smile, 'I know you see the world in black and white Abby but a lot of things aren't that easy, sometimes you can't get what you want you, reality isn't always perfect and sometimes you just have to accept that.'

'I don't think that's right, I don't see why you two can't be happy together. You both need each other, you just need a push!'

'No we don't Abby. There is too much water under the bridge, we would both have to change so much, it just wouldn't work, I'm sorry', Jenny watched as Abby got to her feet, her expression mournful as she headed for the door, just as she got to the door Jenny called out, 'Abby I think you should go to the wedding'

Abby turned around looking bewildered, 'Why?'

'Because you and Jethro are close and it would mean the world to him, I know it's tough but you need to put your personal feelings to one side and do what's best for your friend, that way if it does fall apart he'll feel more able to come to you, please don't ruin your relationship over this'

'You're right', Abby sighed, 'I don't like it but I'll go', she then turned and all but flounced out of the office.

Jenny couldn't help but smile at the overly dramatic exit. As much as it had hurt her to tell Abby to go to the wedding she knew it was best for the young woman and she knew in the long run she would regret not going. As for her and Jethro making things work, he had made it perfectly clear that he didn't care and as much as it hurt her she was going to have to accept it

Thank you for your reviews so far :) and I hope that you'll keep leaving them *hint hint*

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