Not 100% happy with this chapter but have decided I can live with it. Just to make something clear the details of the case mentioned are not very important, I just wanted to hightlight Jenny's state of mind.

Two weeks quickly passed and to any onlookers nothing out of the ordinary appeared to be going on, this sadly was not the case.

Gibbs was determined to give his upcoming marriage the best shot he could and so was avoiding Jenny like the plague, surprisingly no one had noticed, although this might have been because his team were still annoyed with her and were themselves actively avoiding her. His tactics weren't working well though, she was still haunting his every moment, it was her eyes, every so often he caught sight of the real Jenny in them and she was drowning, part of him wanted to help but he just couldn't get involved. So instead he kept on ignoring her, he figured she was strong enough to deal with whatever problems she had by herself.

Meanwhile Jenny had spent the last two weeks in turmoil. She was struggling with the fact that Jethro was getting married and wrestling with her feelings for him, she wanted him to be happy, she truly did but whenever she thought about him with Hollis she felt like her soul was breaking. It wasn't just the way things were with Jethro though that was torturing her though. Recently she felt like all her failures had came back to taunt her, her inability to help her father, her failure to clear his name and the fact she hadn't even managed to bring the man responsible to justice, all occupied her mind space. Then there was her ruined relationship with her Agents, Gibbs's team were still blanking her and although she would never admit it, it was really hurting her, she kept having to remind herself that she was just their boss now, nothing more. And work very definitely kept her busy, it was now constant meetings and paperwork, she felt like it was consuming up her entire life. The only form of relief came in the shape of her and Abby's now almost daily lunches, even if Jenny found she didn't have time to talk the Goth would leave her part of the food. It was nice to have someone who cared.

Abby was worried, really worried, she could see that Jenny was struggling although the older woman was trying to hide it. She was doing quite a good job as well, Abby knew for a fact that professionally she was more respected than ever and had eavesdropped on quite a few conversations where her work was being praised, It was privately that she was crumbling, at least Abby knew she was eating now and as a result she looked slightly less frail but even Abby knew that it was like sticking a plaster over a hole in a dam, it was a quick fix, not a long term solution.

Tony grinned over at his boss, 'Just one day of freedom left, then you'll have another ball and chain'

'What's your point Dinozzo?'

'Just that you should make the most of your last night of freedom'

'I have told you once and I will tell you again Dinozzo if there is a stripper there tonight you are sacked'

'But it won't be a bachelor party without one!'

'Don't care'

Gibbs smiled to himself at the younger Agent's obvious disappointment, although he was still a bit wary about tonight, especially since it was Tony who was organizing it. Tony wasn't his best man thankfully, Fornell was, but the FBI Agent had found it funny to grant Tony his wish and let him arrange the Stag do. Originally Gibbs had planned to ask Ducky, but with his old friend questioning his decision to get married he had decided to go with the safer bet of Tobias, he was starting to regret that now.

Gibbs's attention was suddenly diverted by the door to MTAC slamming shut, he was disturbed to see an obviously shaken Jenny exit and head to her office. Her back was ramrod straight and her fists were clenched as she headed to her office. He couldn't help but wonder what had triggered such a reaction from her.

Jenny stood in her office taking deep breaths trying to calm herself, she had just had the morning from hell. One of her teams from the Europe division had infiltrated a drugs ring that came to light after a Naval Captain's murder by the ring leader. The raid had went horrendously wrong, it had been on board a foreign boat and the team had ended up trapped while the damn thing slowly sank. The team were trapped in two different sections on opposite ends, both in air filled cavities and they had only been able to get one rescue team out in time and even then the boat was already half submerged so it was going to be difficult to get even one group out.

The lead Agent and one of his men were stuck on one side and four other Agents were stuck on the other. Jenny knew that she had to rescue the larger group first but by the time they had got to the other end of the boat which was old and in disrepair the room had caved in, killing the Lead Agent, a Pete Sanford and critically injuring the other man.

She felt like it was her fault, she found it ironic that she was being praised by Sec Nav for her quick decisions when they had resulted in a man's death, Jenny felt like she had blood on her hands it didn't matter that to her that she had made the right call, someone was still dead because of it. Looking around her office Jenny remembered how she had been so proud when she had got this position, now it just felt like a gilded cage, everyone thought she was lucky, when in reality she just felt trapped.

Gibbs couldn't help but laugh as he watched McGee and Agent Langer from the FBI carry a paralytic Dinozzo out of the bar. Tony had in fact ended up hiring a stripper but had announced to the woman that he was the groom so he could get the lap dance. He had then attempted to drink Gibbs under the table, which was why he was now in such a state. Gibbs heard Langer mutter to McGee, 'You know what would be fun, since he decided to act as the groom tonight'

'What?'

'If we handcuff him naked to a lamp post'

McGee chuckled and the two headed off with the unsuspecting, unconscious Tony. Gibbs just chuckled, he thought about stopping them but short of following them home he couldn't ensure they wouldn't do it regardless, so he left them to it.

'You know that should be you'

Gibbs turned to face a grinning Fornell, 'I have more sense'

'Really? The fact you're on your fourth marriage would suggest otherwise', he nodded towards the taxi rank, 'You need me to supervise you getting home'

'I somehow think I'll manage, think I'll walk anyway'

'Suit yourself, don't get lost though I don't want to be the messenger, they always take the brunt of the wrath and hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'

'Don't panic I'll be there tomorrow'

Fornell just muttered something under his breath as he stumbled towards the taxi rank. Gibbs laughed and began to walk in the opposite direction. As he walked he found his mind drifting back to Jenny and her reaction earlier, word had spread about what had happened and everyone had agreed she had made the right choice. But it was that troubled look in her eyes that had him wondering why it had had such an effect on her, he couldn't take it anymore, she was suffering and he needed to know why, he couldn't watch her do this to herself anymore.

Jenny nursed her glass of straight vodka, she still couldn't bring herself to drink bourbon, it held too many memories for her. She had called Agent Sanford's wife to offer her condolences, the woman had taken it well saying she had always known the dangers inherent in her husband's job. It hadn't made Jenny feel any less guilty though, Pete Sanford was yet another person she had let down, she had failed to save him, just like she had failed to save her father. She was pulled out of her reverie by heavy knocking on her door, sighing she pulled herself up and answered it, surprised to see a drunk Gibbs on her doorstep.

He didn't wait for an invite, he just pushed past her into the hallway. Gibbs looked at her, for once actually he studied her, she looked tired and drained, she had always been pale but now she was ashen and she looked as though she'd lost some weight. Jenny had obviously noticed his staring and shuffled nervously as she asked, 'What are you doing here?'

'I heard what happened in Europe, I came to tell you it's not your fault'

She walked past him and into her study as she muttered, 'Oh how noble of you'

Irritated he followed her, he noticed the half empty vodka bottle on the table, he picked it up, 'You don't drink this stuff'

She picked up her glass off the desk and told him, 'I do now'

'You drink all of this tonight'

'No', she shook her head, 'I can only sip it, I've had that bottle almost two weeks now'

'Why vodka?'

'Why not?'

Gibbs ran his hand through his hair, 'I can't do this anymore Jen'

She eyed him in confusion, 'You can't do what?'

'Watch you self destruct, I need to know what's going on with you'

'Nothing I am fine'

'You're lying.', his voice got louder, 'You are falling to pieces Jen! I want to know what you're hiding!'

'It's none of your concern!'

'Jenny I don't like seeing you like this, I do care about you'

She let out a bitter laugh, 'Oh of course you do, that's why you've ignored me for the past two weeks, that's why you walked away without a word after that night in my office'

He couldn't help himself, he snapped back, 'Like you really cared, it was like talking to an ice block the next day! I've had warmer cold showers'

He didn't see the hand coming until it smacked him across the face, he looked up and noticed Jenny was now shaking with rage as she spat out, 'How would you know whether or not I cared? It's not like you hung around long enough to find out!'

Gibbs didn't reply, he didn't have a defence for that one she was right, he tried to change the subject, 'Believe it or not I didn't come here to argue with you, you're hiding something and you obviously need to talk about it'

'I'm hiding something', she laughed again shaking her head, 'That really is rich, you lecturing me about keeping secrets, tell me does Hollis know about your indiscretion? Actually I have a feeling that's not even the biggest secret you're hiding', she moved closer to him, her glass in the hand she was gesturing with, 'After all no one knows anything about your life before NCIS beyond the fact that you were a marine. You go on about me being screwed up but you're hardly an advertisement for a healthy well balanced human being Jethro!'

'Yeah well so far it hasn't interfered with my work, you can't say the same, your fixation almost got Tony blown up!'

Jenny slammed her glass onto the desk, causing it to smash, a shard of it slicing into her hand, she let out a small noise of pain as the blood trickled down her arm. Gibbs hurried out of the room and grabbed the first aid kit that was in her kitchen, when he came back she was on the floor in front of her desk openly sobbing.

At first he just assumed she was in pain from the cut, but as he reached for it to check for glass she pulled her hands away, concerned he told her, 'Jenny you need to let me see it'

It was like she hadn't heard him, the tears flowed freely down her cheeks as she choked out, 'I now quite literally have blood on my hands'

Assuming she was referring to Sanford he told her, 'Jenny what happened today wasn't your fault', he cupped her cheek and turned her face towards him so she was forced to look at him as he repeated, 'It wasn't your fault'. The tears continued to fall but she let him check her hand, clean it and bandage it up, once he was done he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into him, her head leaning against his chest, waiting for her to calm down.

Eventually her sobs subsided and they just sat in silence, neither one sure what to say. Gibbs went to place a kiss to her hair but she tilted her head up at that exact moment and instead his lips brushed across her forehead. She looked at him, her cheeks were still damp and her eyes were still filled with a pain she had long tried to bury.

Wanting to comfort her he rubbed his thumb across her cheek, wiping away the last of her tears, she still just looked at him, her green eyes wide and something inside him snapped, he needed her. He lowered his face and brushed his lips across hers, she immediately kissed him back, her uninjured hand curling into his jacket collar, pulling him closer. Her reaction made him deepen the kiss, pulling her bottom lip into his mouth, nipping at it gently before letting it go and running his tongue along her lips seeking entrance. She granted him it and moved even closer into him, moaning against his mouth, her hands slipped downwards and undid the buttons of his shirt, pushing it off his shoulders and onto her floor before her hands went back to explore the newly exposed skin.

Gibbs mimicked her actions, he continued to kiss her as he undid her blouse and pushed it to the floor. He then pulled his mouth away from hers and littered kisses all over her collarbone, the swell of her breasts and her stomach. Jenny gasped and pulled him back up to her for another kiss. Eventually he pulled her to her feet and they tumbled upstairs together.

The minute they were in the bedroom Gibbs kicked the door shut, his hands skimming down Jenny's sides searching for the zipper on her skirt, slowly pulling it down before letting the skirt hit the floor. Her hands were at his belt and his trousers quickly went the same way as her skirt, he had to bite back a groan as she ran a hand over his tented boxers although he couldn't help bucking his hips towards her.

He backed her towards the bed and as her knees collided with it and she fell backwards she pulled him with her, he braced his hand above her head so he didn't crush her as he fell but settled the lower part of his body against hers.

They quickly divested the other of the remainder of their clothing and he lowered his head to her breast, causing her to arch and moan out as he slowly drew one pebbled nipple into his mouth. After repeating the slow torturous process to her other breast he kissed his way back up to her mouth. He became so engrossed with kissing her that he didn't notice when she pulled one leg up, bracing her foot against the mattress so she could flip them over.

She gave him a very brief smirk at his look of surprise before raising herself up slightly and then sinking down onto him. He couldn't help but groan out as she slowly circled her hips on his, her palms placed flat against his chest, her fingers curling into the hair there. Needing to be closer to her he wrapped an arm around her waist and sat up so they were chest to chest, every inch of their skin was in contact. Jenny gasped for breath as she picked up her pace, the coil in her stomach growing, her entire body felt as though it was about to burst into flames.

Gibbs reached up and tangled his fingers through her wild red curls and pulled her mouth to his again as she came apart for him, he swallowed her scream before following her over the edge.

For a moment they stayed like that before Gibbs lay back, pulling Jenny with him. His common sense was back and it was telling him what an idiot he was, this was why he had been avoiding her, anytime he was near her his self-control broke. He knew she needed his help but he was getting married and he owed it to Hollis to give it a proper shot.

Jenny knew he was having his regrets, she could sense it, shifting she rolled off of him and onto her other side so she faced away from him. After a while she felt him push himself up and begin to get dressed again, she knew the answer to her next question but she asked it regardless, 'You're still going to marry her, aren't you?'

She heard him stop what he was doing and sigh, 'Yeah I am, Jen I can't do it to her, I need to make it work this time'

Pulling the sheet around herself, she sat up to face him, 'I want you to leave and when you get back from your honeymoon I don't want to see or speak to you again unless it is in an official capacity'

He nodded and turned to leave, just before he shut the bedroom door behind himself she could have sworn she heard him whisper, 'I'm sorry Jen'. That night she didn't cry, she pushed her pain back down to the recesses of her soul and hoped it would never resurface.

The next day went surprisingly smoothly, well apart from Abby's glares during the ceremony and the fact that Dinozzo almost missed it after having to be cut free from a lamp post and convince the police not too charge him with indecent exposure. Gibbs managed to push his guilt to one side, he was doing the right thing, Jenny had been a mistake and it wasn't one he would repeat. The rest of the day flew by in a bit of a haze though but it didn't really matter, he was married now, nothing else mattered.

Ok I know you'll all want to lynch me now but remember this is NOT the end lol and if you leave me reviews I will update quicker :)

Plus you get a choice for the next chapter I can either go straight to Gibbs coming back from honeymoon OR you can have a scene where Abby meets Rebecca, your choice :)

xxxxx