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Sins of the Father

Chapter 6

Praying for Understanding

Ana's POV

"See you soon, Anastasia."

"No, wait-" I say to a now dropped call.

I press a pillow over my face to muffle the scream I let out in hot frustration.

Two damn years and he hasn't changed at all. He STILL refuses to listen to me about anything.

Memories I had long since abandoned find me again at the thought of seeing him. Seeing him here in this city, no less.

When I first arrived in New York I was a shell of myself. And that had to do a lot with my relationship with Christian.

There had been to a lot of give and pull between he and I. We were beating a dead horse for months, just trying to make it work between us and it had really done a number on me.

Our fate was sealed the day of Christian's birthday party.

It was a small gathering with family and a few friends.

Christian didn't want anything big since he hated being fused over, even on his own birthday. But I knew he secretly loved the attention.

The timing of the party was awful.

It was the day after Leila had held a gun to my head in my and Kate's apartment. It was also the day after Christian had asked me to marry him.

Even though I had not accepted the impromptu proposal he gave while we sat kneeling on the great room floor, I was still very happy. I was also on edge from nearly being shot to death.

Still, I was having a good time until Elena Lincoln walked in.

She had been a thorn in my side since Christian and I met.

I hated that he would talk to her about me. I hated that he would tell her things about our relationship and ask her for advice on how to handle things with me.

I'd found out that she was even the reason he came to visit me in Georgia the first week after we met. The best time I'd ever had with him was in Georgia soaring. I hated knowing Elena had a hand in that.

I knew she didn't like me and she knew the feeling was mutual when I had given her a very cool reception the day he introduced us at her beauty salon. I still can't get over the nerve he had for taking me there without even telling me she owned it.

She named it Esclava for crying out loud. I'm sure no one but Christian got that sick little joke

God, just the thought of seeing how she slithered up to him and how completely oblivious he was to it, still makes my blood boil.

He denied it, but I believed he took me there to seek her approval of me since I was the first girl she didn't hand pick for him herself.

I had overheard them talking the day she came over to get his help with what she thought was a stalker shortly thereafter. It turned out to be nothing but a scene her boy toy was setting up to do with her.

My heart still can feel the weight of that conversation, no matter how hard I try to forget it.

"Christian, are you still playing house with that mousy little thing," I heard her ask him after I had excused myself from the room. I stayed within earshot.

"Ana is my girlfriend, Elena. Get used to it."

"She will never be enough for you. You have needs, Darling. Needs that she cannot possibly fulfill."

"You know nothing about her, Elena."

"I know what you've told me. I know she can't handle your sexual appetite like the others can. You will get bored with her vanilla and then where will you be? All stressed out with no one to relieve your tension."

"I told you that's not all we do. She is more than willing to meet me half way in what I want."

"Half way? When did half way become anywhere good enough for you? You are Christian Grey. Have you forgotten the kind of man you are?"

"Of course, I haven't forgotten."

"It's evident that you have. She is ruining you. You look stressed. I have someone in mind-"

"Will you stop with a that shit, Elena. Ana already has a problem with me being friends with you. The last thing I need is you giving her more reasons."

I could hear her tutting at him all the way from where I stood out of view.

"She has you by the balls, Christian. You were a DOM. Now you are just her lap dog. She has collared you with a cheap leather knock off she got from that ratty old hardware store she worked at."

Her voice is dripping with disappointment in him.

"Enough, Elena."

I was somewhat satisfied at him taking a stand with her, but it was short lived.

Like she always did, she played the card she reserved when she felt him slipping away from her.

"You know I only want the best for you, Darling," she said through fake tears. "I can't stand the thought of anyone weakening you. You've come such a long way from being that scared little boy and I would never want anyone to turn you into that again."

"I appreciate your concern for me, Elena." I rolled my eyes at how instantly he softened. "But it really isn't needed. I have everything under control. I promise you."

I admit I was a little hurt by him not defending me. But then again, he never defended me. He never defended us being together the way I needed him to.

When I called him on it, he was quick to point out that I had a similar relationship with Kate.

It was true. I did confide in her. And like Elena, she made it clear she was not a fan of my relationship with Christian. But, I also reminded him of the difference. I didn't have Kate as my Domme when I was a teenager and I sure as hell didn't let her opinion change how I treated him.

He swore Elena's words had no influence over him.

But every time he went to her for advice, he'd ride me just a little harder. His DOM would be just a little more aggressive in the playroom all to prove something to himself, or more importantly, to prove to her that he was still who she wanted him to be.

The more I tried to point out what she was doing, the more he defended her until I was made to look like the bad guy in my own relationship.

Jealous is what he always reduced my concerns to be and he would dismiss them as nothing more than that. God, how that hurt my feelings.

Maybe if I hadn't been so frazzled by Leila that day of the party, I would have done what I intended to do when she first walked in and ignore her.

If I was myself, the conversation she cornered me into having would not have blown into a full-blown confrontation of her being a manipulative pedophile that was only using Christian for her own gains.

It certainly wouldn't have ended with me throwing a full glass of Carrick's signature lemon martini full force in her face.

I felt some satisfaction in doing it, but a bigger part of me regretted it happened because in the end, it cost me Christian.

But right now, Christian is on his way here.

Panic starts to set in when I think about the two worlds that are about to collide.

I had gone to great lengths to keep them separated, especially in the beginning.

The thousands of miles between them made it a little easier, but I was a mess.

I missed my home. I missed my friends. I missed what could have been with a man who didn't really love me. I hated myself for being so blind and so willing to lose myself. I spent months just banging my head against a wall trying to save a man who didn't want to be saved.

I was going through so many changes and I was doubting myself.

Here I was in a new city with a fresh start, but I was miserably holding on to a past that had clearly no problems with letting me go.

Slowly, things started to feel right again for me. I settled into a routine. I started forcing myself to have a social life, going out with the a few girlfriends I met while in publishing.

Next thing I knew, months had passed and I found that I was not so miserable anymore.

I started feeling like an independent woman. I started feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I started to like myself more.

I was in a big city with no Kate, no parents, no Christian, and no CPO.

It was just me and I was doing it all by myself. I guess it was my own cockiness that thought I could walk right out into New York City traffic and live to tell about it on that particularly sunny day.

The car blaring its horn as it came within an inch of sending me flying through the air let me know really quick I wasn't as invisible as I thought I was that day.

I can still hear the screeching of the tires from the person hitting the breaks. I can still smell their burning rubber.

"Are you alright, Miss," the driver asked quickly getting out to check on me, coming to my aide and placing me back safely on the side walk.

Before I could answer, his attention was diverted by the opening of the car's back door.

"Giles, is she alright," the man standing there asked, getting my attention as well. My mouth flew open at how flushed I had gotten and it had little to do with the heat. "Does she need me to call an ambulance?"

He was tall, dark, and nothing but muscle. And not the kind that makes you cringe because they look painfully over developed. His were perfection. They were damn near expertly done. Every inch of him seemed to be sculpted by the most talented of artists.

He stood with a concerned scowl on his face before deciding to join us at the curb.

And my God, the way he walked. I was mesmerized by it. I Would have been happy spending the rest of my life just watching the man walk towards me.

"I don't believe that will be necessary, Sir," the man who was clearly his personal driver told him.

"No, it's really not," I agreed. "No harm, no foul."

"That was a very stupid thing you just did," Mr. Hot Body scolded me.

"I know. I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention. My mind was on something else."

"Lucky for you Giles is an expert driver."

"Very lucky. I have the utmost respect for your driving skills, Mr. Giles. And I'm sorry for the inconvenience." I pointed to his car haphazardly parked to where drivers had to swerve around the tail end of it. They glared at us while honking their horns and yelling at him to move it over.

"I don't worry about such things," he said without a worry in the world. And judging from the brand-new Phantom he was riding in. I could see why.

"Well, I should get going. I'm already late for work," I told him.

"Where do you work? I can drive you. Seeing as how it's not safe for you to walk the streets with your absent mind."

"I work at McSullivan Publishing," I said pointing at the building just across the street that I had been trying to get to.

"Giles will walk you over. But, before you go, take note of those lights in the middle of the street," he instructed me and like a fool, I actually looked up at the traffic lights. "When the one facing you turns green and the traffic stops, it means it's safe for you to walk."

I frowned furious at him but he didn't seem moved enough to stop patronizing me.

"The red light you were walking on just now means you must stop and wait for the green one to go," he continued on. "You can take your chances with that yellow one there in the middle, but I wouldn't advise that for you. For obvious reasons."

"Oh my God, if you say another condescending word to me, I am going to risk assault charges and smack you," I warned him, visibly pissed off.

Who the hell did he think he was?

But then he went and gave me the most adorably sexy smile I'd ever seen, making me blush like an idiot.

"I'm sorry, you smacking me, was that supposed to be a bad thing," he said, flirting with me.

He checked me out, looking me up and down. His eyes lingered on my boobs and it caught me completely off guard because I could tell he liked what he saw.

"Um, I guess it depends on how I do it," I told him in a pathetic attempt to flirt back. I even managed to let him know I was checking him out as well, letting my eyes linger on the huge bulge in his pants. What did I have to lose? It wasn't like I was ever going to see him again in this big city. We clearly ran in different circles. "And thanks for not killing me and all, by the way."

"That truly would have ruined my day, Miss?"

"Ana Steele," I told him while willing myself to stop grinning.

"Nice to literally run into you, Ana."

He nodded to his driver who moves to walk me across the street.

"Uh, what's your name," I called back to him. I really wanted to know who I was going to most likely be dreaming about that night.

Hunter Barrington III.

The man that still jokes at how he literally ran into me to anyone who asks him how we met.

It was so different in meeting him then the way it was with Christian. I didn't have to wonder about it. There was no reeling me in and then pushing me away. No need to drunk dial him.

I knew from the start he was into me.

But still, I wouldn't let myself get involved with him or anyone else for that matter.

I wasn't about to hop into another relationship when I still wore my old one like a mangled-up coat I was still trying to figure off how to shred.

I went to work that day and was successful at putting the hottest guy I'd met so far in the city out of my mind and busied myself with my day.

I loved working at McSullivan Publishing back then. It was all so new and exciting. Finally, I had my dream job.

I had turned a job offer down the first time one was offered. But I soon realized that I wouldn't be happy in Seattle.

It didn't help matters much that my best friend was seriously involved with my ex's brother and that I was best friend with his sister.

There was no chance of me ever getting over him when our lives were still so entwined.

So, when McSullivan called again with an even higher position that had just become available, I accepted the job offer.

My first client was none other than Hunter Barrington III.

He now has the honor of being my first credit as an editor.

It was just an article he agreed to do for Fast Company Magazine. Apparently, he had requested me as the editor, so my company loaned me out for a very hefty fee.

Who knew I was so in demand?

An enlarged framed copy of the article with my name at the bottom still hangs in Hunter's office. Its twin hangs in my bedroom. I told him it was for bragging rights, but the truth is that picture of him with that adorably sexy smile, in that business suit just turns me on.

I knew he was interested in me from the start of that interview, because he came right out and told me so.

We've always been completely honest with each other. But now I fear my honesty about all that is going on may be the thing that drives him to his limit. It may be the thing that drives him over it, going a hundred miles an hour.

He is an understanding person by nature.

He showed nothing but understanding of my fear of opening myself up to the idea of love again.

That I only had a few examples to draw from and none of them were very good.

I saw second hand how falling in love hurt my mom over and over again. With the exception of my step dad, Ray, her choice in men had left much to be desired.

Following in her footsteps, I experienced that same hurt when I fell in love the first time with who was clearly the wrong man for me.

As much as I wanted to just fall in Hunter's arms and lose myself in him, he understood that I had to be careful not to make that mistake again.

I pray for just a little more of that understanding now.

I pray he will understand that what I'm doing is for Christian the boy and not Christian the man.

Author's Note

I saw a few reviews about Ana keeping Christian's son from him. To clear up the confusion, although it seems like it's been a while, in reality it's only been less than a day.

What can I say? Its a slow burn.

Thank you for reading and reviewing I do appreciate it.