Hot Damn 13
Okay, Hai gaiz. Well here I am with another epic chapter by yours truly. Most of you are wondering about how Kanda and Allen are going to murder Lavi. Will it be castrating him? Strangling? Drowning him with awful 80's music by some old dead guy? Maybe. I've tried to make this chapter the best so far because I feel good about myself for getting all the way to chapter 13 (It's my favorite number. Yes I am weird.) Plus I think I got pinky cramp about…a million times throughout the writing of this chapter. Any who, I'd like to thank FireNose for her wonderfully long review (like seriously, longest review I've gotten so far), Lonely Kitty for being so great, she's been reviewing since the very beginning of HD even though so far it's still a bit short, SilentKiller1 who deserves recognition because even though her reviews are short there are a lot of them and to everyone who reviews, favorites me or the story or puts me on alerts. And Kiri-Exorcist92…I hope you make it out alive. I miss your reviews oh-so very much. Well enough lolly-gagging, on with it.
NOTE: On my previous chapter I believe I made the mistake of writing down 'eleven' and not 'twelve'. I will fix that when I can so please ignore it. (And when I say I'll fix it when I can means when I feel like it and I really don't want to go back and fix it. Hahaha…sorry.)
WARNING: Kanda and Allen teaming up to beat/punch Lavi into the ground with the strength of a million angry Kanda's and Allen's.
DISCLAIMER: Hoshina Katsura
Thirteen: This is what you can call DENIAL.
Monday. No good comes out of it. We all know that. Sure it may be the start of another week. At least that's how most people look at it since they declare Sunday the end of the Weekend. But putting that aside, Monday means back to work, school and other activities that require 'work'.
So to speak we all know Yuu Kanda hates Mondays. Sure he hates pretty much every day of the week but Monday was like…Hell mixed with…pink. Horrid pink.
Allen? He could like war if he wanted to. He could like anything if he tried. Except Cross Marian…that man was impossible. Usually he liked Monday, but today was the start of 'The Prom that Escaped from HELL'. Why? Because, One: He had an angry mob of girls that are trying to kill him and it was all Kanda's fault. Two: Prom was 5 weeks from now and school never seemed more dangerous. And last but not least Three: LAVI. For obvious reasons.
Lavi was not at his morning shift. Allen asked his manger Miranda and she said he called in earlier and said he wasn't feeling well. Total BS. So in walks Kanda in all his grumpy glory that girls swoon over. He gets his coffee and starts to leave not bothering to wonder where the rabbit was and completely disregarding the fact that Allen didn't look at him at all or try to.
But then Allen being Allen decides to cut work short and join Kanda on his way to school. Miranda was okay with it since they were having a slow morning.
They walk. They don't talk. Why? A: Kanda is being his half-assed grumpy self. B: Allen didn't know what to say after the Ferris wheel incident. C: They were now at school.
So like any other school there are groups of people. Hunched together all around the school yard, talking amongst them. But today something had stirred up the student body. As Kanda and Allen trudged up the stairs to the front doors wondering why that people looked at them and made faint whispers at the sight of the two. They found out as soon as they opened the front doors and walked in.
Allen blushed madly feeling embarrassed and angry. Kanda stood there and twitched trying to suppress his anger. It wasn't working. It rolled off him and contaminated anything in its wake.
"What the fucking hell is all this shit?" He asked to no one in particular. But with the tone he used immediately cleared the hall's leaving him and Allen to stare at the monstrosity.
"Oh I can enlighten you on that one Kanda." Allen started with a sugary sweet voice.
"It means I'm gutting out Lavi's last eye out and chopping off his hands and feet." He finished in a deadly tone that was not like him at all.
"Rabbit." Kanda growled angrily as he set off down the knowing well where Lavi would be. Allen followed. He wasn't about to let his redheaded friend off scot clean. Besides, If he didn't go then there'd be nothing left of Lavi to destroy if Kanda went alone.
The two walked through the long hallway their anger growing every time they passed the picture of them kissing on the Ferris wheel. And there were a lot of copies, slapped up on every inch of all the lockers and walls so that nothing was visible except the picture in question. They were even scattered about the floors.
They reached their first period classroom. And inside was a crowd huddled around one sole desk. I don't think you need to ask whose it was. The two murderous males approached. There was Lavi in the middle of it bragging his ass off. A few people shivered feeling like they were being watched. They turned around and saw Kanda and Allen. The look the two had on their faces was cold enough to freeze hell. They ran and others noticed running off for the same reason. Finally the crowd had cleared in fear leaving Lavi, who was still talking about his feat not realizing his two friends standing there ready to gut him.
He stopped opening his eyes and saw his friends.
"Oh hey guys! Seems you two are popular lately." Lavi said with a wide grin acting all innocent.
"Save the fucking sweet talk Rabbit." Kanda hissed shooting a glare. Lavi shivered keeping quiet.
"What's wrong Lavi?" Allen asked nicely with a smile that Lavi knew was fake. "I thoughy you weren't 'feeling well'. Run out of gossip to run your mouth to everybody? Oh wait, I think you got the message across with the pictures."
"I heed innocent!" Lavi said his mouth twitching up into a smile even though he was slightly scared. He'd never seen Allen so angry and combined with Kanda, he was as good as dead. He knew the consequences for his little gossip spree and was ready to take it. It was part of his mastermind plan.
Kanda grasped the collar of his shirt and lifted him until their faces were close.
"Care to fucking explain?" Kanda growled. Lavi felt the anger radiating off his friend and he just smiled.
"Mmmm…not really. I mean honestly Yuu, you're smart enough to know what happens when I get a hi-def digital camera." Lavi drawled placing a hand to Kanda's that was gripping his shirt.
"Lavi you sneaky prude." Allen grumbled angrily jabbing a finger at the redhead's shoulder.
"Ouch. Sorry Brit but that's how it has to be! But do not fear for you'll be thanking your Big Bro someday soon." The redhead announced proudly patting the white haired boy's head. He looked over at Kanda who was not doing any better with all that anger rolling off him.
"I know you like him Yuu. And you know that he likes you too. Wake up Yuu-pon and see what's been staring you in the face before it gives you a hard slap." Lavi whispered so that only Kanda would hear.
"I don't get why you're trying so fucking hard Rabbit. But then again I don't know why you try so fucking hard most of the damned time. Whether you're crazy or just about the most determined person I've ever had the displeasure of meeting, I'm never going to make it easy on you." The Japanese let go of Lavi's shirt still feeling angry. He'd…'repay' the redhead later.
"Hmmm? Is that a hint of caring I hear Yuu? Well I never expected you to make anything easy. And you should know, I'm always determined. Plus, don't think I'm going to make it easy either." Lavi retorted confidently grabbing Allen's arm and pulling him closer.
"Uh…Lavi?" Allen inquired having calmed down. Not that he'd forgotten to make Lavi pay. He went ignored as Lavi pulled him in for a hug. Allen was faced so that he could see Kanda. Said person quirked his brow.
"So, I bet that I can get you and Allen to prom and beyond…together." Lavi stated smugly.
"I'd like to see you try." Kanda challenged.
"Well then, I will." And with that Lavi shoved Allen towards Kanda who not-so-gracefully landed roughly on top of the Japanese. There was a click and a flash. Kanda had pushed the shorter boy off his with ease glaring up at the camera in Lavi's possession.
"Perfect shot you two! I think it'll look absolutely wonderful in the yearbook!"
"I'm going to fucking kill you." The Japanese hissed murderously.
"Oh, I'll gladly assist you on that." Allen added in standing up.
"Oh boy." Lavi muttered suddenly distressed.
--
"Nice going Lavi." Lenalee sighed as she handed Lavi an icepack.
"Well sacrifices must be made." The redhead replied taking the icepack and settling it on his eye.
"You just had to provoke them." The Chinese stated disapprovingly as she slapped yet another band aid onto Lavi who was sprawled out on the field behind the school.
"Yes I did. At least now we know that they can team up for something." Lavi replied hissing when Lenalee accidently bumped a bruise on his shoulder.
The girl muttered an apology before going on. "What? Revenge?"
"Yup. And I learned something today…"
"And that is?"
"The Brit has a really strong backswing."
Lenalee sighed heavily. "I can't believe that's what you're saying after you just got your ass handed to you by two of your best friends."
"When you say 'ass handed to me', does that count for a black eye, about a couple hundred cuts and a few million bruises, a probably dislocated arm…and maybe a broken rib cage?" Lavi asked wincing when he tried to sit up.
"Yes, that just about sums it up."
"Wonderful. Well I'm going to call it a day." The redhead stated as he managed to sit up only to fall onto his back once more.
"…Do you need some help getting home?" Lenalee asked smiling slightly with an 'I-told-you-so-but-your-an-idiot' tone.
"Yes please. And could you also help me write my will? I think it'll come in handy soon."
"You're over-reacting. But then again, this is you we're taking about." Lenalee shook her head as she helped her friend up.
"Hahaha. You are so supportive." Lavi replied sarcastically rolling his eyes.
"Well, if you're going to pull another stunt like that make sure I'm there before you decide to pry open the shark's mouth."
"Yes ma'am." Lavi lazily saluted. His cell phone went off suddenly and he pulled it out from his pocket with his good arm since the other was currently…unavailable. He opened it and held it up to his ear.
"Hello?"
"YOU PUT IT ON THE SCHOOL WEBSITE TOO? LAVI YOU'RE UNBELIEVABLY STUPID!"
Lavi held the phone away from his ear and snapped it shut ending the call. He turned his phone off for good measures too.
"Allen?" Lenalee asked recognizing the loud voice that emitted from the phone.
"Allen." Lavi nodded.
"You gonna go hide for a couple days?"
"Give me a week. If I don't show up by then you'll conveniently find my will. I hope you make my funeral nice." The redhead said waving his hand around dismissing the matter.
Lenalee shook her head and rolled her eyes.
"Well what's next Captain Stupid?"
"Hmm…we move onto the 'set up' Commodore Reasonable."
"Ah I see."
"Yup."
"Well I guess this puts an end to the beginning."
"Right you are. Now, we move onto the middle."
--
Allen sat there. He really wanted to beat the living daylight out of something whether it was alive or not…preferably Lavi's face. He'd just gotten hung up on so he was now sitting there staring at the school's website. Every single page had that picture.
"Stupid Lavi…stupid prom…" Allen huffed closing the site and falling ungracefully onto his bed.
"I just had to meet the prick." The white haired boy sighed falling asleep in a matter of minutes.
--
Thonk. Thump. Drop.
Kanda glared at Lavi. Well, not exactly Lavi. More like a picture of him pinned to the Japanese's dart board by well…darts.
He pulled out one of the many pictures that the redhead had mass produced and spread all throughout the school from his bag. He stared at it for what seemed like an eternity.
"Damned rabbit…damned moyashi…" Kanda growled crumpling up the picture and throwing it watching it plop onto his desk.
"I'm going to make the rabbit regret he ever tried something like this…"
"Nu uh! You want the plan to work. You want to go to the prom with Allen and you want to get in his pants!" The Lavi in his head stated annoyingly.
"No. I do not want anything to happen with me and the moyashi all because of the fucked up rabbit." Kanda rubbed his temple.
"Yeah right. Well I guess this is what you can call DENIAL."
"Ugh. Shut the fuck up."