Enjoy

Sins of the Father

Chapter 14

Sleep-Over

Christian's POV

It's 2 am and Christian is still out like a light with no sign of pending nightmares. He's peacefully snuggled in a sea of white and blue fluffy pillows. The Dr. Seuss book he was reading placed neatly by his shoes in the corner of his fort. He's kicked off his covers several times, twisting his body in positions that make my muscles hurt just looking at him.

I've given up straighten him out and covering him up, only to have him in the same position again an hour later. The blankets surrounding us keeps the fort warm enough so I don't worry about him getting cold.

Right now, he is semi on his back with one arm raised above his head. The other arm has disappeared somewhere under one of his pillows.

I lay awake with my head crooked up on my hands staring at the rise and fall of his chest as he takes in each breath.

The fort is well lit, thanks to his blue Hippopotamus shaped flashlight with its mouth wide open to brighten everything around us. The light is not too harsh to keep me awake, thank God. But the fact that I am here on a sleep over with my son, coupled with not wanting to scare him with my own nightmares is enough to do the trick and keep me from sleeping. I am content with just watching him. He looks so small compared to the world around him. Instinctively, I want to shield him from it.

Watching him sleep stirs up feelings I've only experienced while watching Ana.

I don't know what it is about the two of them that makes me feel shit I didn't even know I had within me until they graced my existence. I was made to believe that these feelings were due to Ana, alone. But then I went and became a dad.

What the fuck was I thinking? I have to roll my eyes at myself for getting neck deep into this shit.

...

Sometime during the night, I must have drifted off to sleep because I wake in the early morning with two little grey eyes staring intently at me. I suppose watching me is just as interesting to him, seeing as though he's never had a dad that gave a damn.

I'm sure it must seem foreign to him. It sure as hell did to me when I first met Carrick. Although, I knew he wasn't my read dad, so that was a hell of a barrier we had to get past. We both fucked it up along the way, but now we are in a good place and thank fuck for that because I have a feeling I might need him.

"Good morning," I greet Christian with a yawn.

"Nora says breakfast ready," he says to me with a little grin before disappearing out of the fort.

I groan form the stiffness of sleeping on the floor. Crawling out of the fort, I twist my back and yank my heard from side to side, trying to work out the kinks. I can't believe I used to do this type of shit with Elliot with no problem. Of course back then I had the agility of a seven year old.

"I know what that's like," Ana comes into the room while I stretch, holding a glass of orange juice and two ibuprofen pills.

"Thanks," I eye her as I swallow them with the orange juice.

She is in black yoga pants and a white tank top. Her long hair is pent up off her shoulders. She never looked more beautiful. I've always loved how she looks first thing in the morning before she's made any effort in getting dressed. None of the high-end outfits I gifted her with ever came close to matching her natural beauty.

"No problem," she says.

"What time do you all wake up, anyway?"

"Oh, this coming from Mr. Four A.M. Workout," she laughs.

"Right back at you, Miss Can't Get Out of Bed In a Good Mood Before Noon," I counter.

The little eye roll she gives me makes my palm twitch.

"I need to warn you," she says. "The breakfast you're about to eat looks like a science experiment gone wrong."

"Tell me its not all green."

"No can do," she says and I groan in disgust. Bad enough I have to eat ham for breakfast but now I have to choke down green ham with eggs. "And its kind of slimy."

"Jesus Christ."

"But don't worry. I have Pepto-Bismol on standby, just in case."

"Always prepared," I tell her, impressed.

"I learned from the best," she says.

"Breakfast ready," we hear Christian call rather impatiently from downstairs.

"I wonder where he gets that from," I ask her.

"Gee, I have no idea."

...

As it stands, we had nothing to worry about. The breakfast was exemplary. I believe this Nora's cooking almost rivals Gail's. Almost. Gail would have surely added a bit more seasoning.

I have a feeling Barrington fucker's boring ass isn't too "keen" on rich flavor. I eye Ana as she finishes her plate. I can't help but wonder how satisfying he is in bed. The thought alone pisses me the fuck off.

"What," she says, noticing my heated glare.

"Nothing," I say the word much to sharply.

"Ana says we can say bye to mommy before we go to Seattle," Christian says to me.

My flash of anger forgotten because now I am dumbstruck at the fact that a conversation with him has started without me initiating it.

I can only imagine how important saying goodbye to Leila is to him. He wants to make doubly sure he gets a chance.

"We certainly can," I assure him.

"Mommy died," he says it to me with what can only be concern in his voice. Its like he's trying to break the news to me.

This topic makes me very uncomfortable.

Thoughts of Ella dead on the floor creep up into my brain without warning, but I hide it well. The years I spent perfecting my boardroom face is finally paying off when I need it the most.

"I know she did. I'm sorry about that, Christian. I know you must miss her very much."

He nods his head.

"Ana says I can say a special goodbye," he tells me.

Damn right he can.

On second thought, I'll have her transferred to Seattle. Maybe it will be easier for him not leaving her behind. I pray no one else has claimed her body. I know she has no family to speak of. Her parents died when she was a teen and she has no siblings.

"Absolutely you can," I say. "Is there something you want to bring to her?"

"Mommy likes flowers," he says. "All kindsa flowers."

"Flowers will be perfect. We'll get her all kinds."

He nods happily.

"And then Ana can say a special good bye to Hunt so we can all go to Seattle. And then Ana can come and stay with us next to the big space station in the sky."

Ana and I look at each other. So much for the idea of being okay with him doing this without her.

I fucking knew that shit wasn't going to fly. The way he clings to her. No fucking way is he going anywhere without her before putting up one hell of a fight. I was the same way with Grace. Hell, I couldn't even go to pre-school the first 3 months without her sitting in the class with me.

"Uh, Christian," Ana tries to break it to him gently. "I'm going to be staying here in New York."

I watch his face fall and damn if I don't hate it.

"But why?"

"Well, because my home is here," she explains to him.

"But why can't it be in Seattle?"

"Well, because my job is here. I need to stay here and help other little boys find their daddies the same way I helped you," she explains.

"But why can't you help the kids in Seattle?"

My GOD. I know I shouldn't be proud of this, but fuck me, this kid is good. My kid. This is My fucking kid right here.

"Because, I just can't," she tells him, not knowing what else to say.

He mulls it over in his head then switches tactics.

"Can we stay in New York," he asks me.

"I'm afraid we can't, Christian," I tell him, softly.

"But why," he starts in on me.

"Christian," Ana interrupts him this time before he gets too far. "Your home is in Seattle and my home is here."

He thinks about her words before coming to some conclusion.

"Then I'm staying here," he says folding his little arms as if to say that's that. He is actually pouting. "No Seattle."

I grin at him. He is so much like me when he doesn't get his way.

"Christian," Ana tries again with a stern voice this time.

Good fucking luck with that shit. This is a little version of me you're dealing with.

"No Seattle," he says again, running off.

Don't worry, Christian. Daddy's got your back on this.

"Why can't you come to Seattle," I ask her after he goes.

"Christian, are you kidding me? You KNOW why. My life is here now. It has been for the past few years. I can't just up and fly across the country. I know this isn't going to be easy but he'll adjust without me. He has to."

"Very well, Anastasia. As you wish," I drop the subject. No use trying to convince her at this point. "I need to make arrangements for Leila. I want to take her back to Seattle with us."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I want her buried next to my family."

My eyes drift down to her mouth as it flies open.

"You want Leila to be with the Greys," she accuses. "After everything that happened in Seattle?"

"Why do you say it like I'm betraying you?"

"That's not what I meant. I'm not. I'm just surprised you would want her to be buried there."

"Ana, I haven't forgotten nor have I forgiven her for her actions, especially towards you. I'm doing this for no other reason than Christian needing to have his mother near him. She won't be buried with the Greys but she will be close by."

"That will be good for him. I'm sure he will feel much better about going if she's not left behind. That way, he can visit her whenever he wants to."

"That was my reasoning as well," I tell her. "Do you think I should go and talk to him or perhaps it would be best for him if he talked to you."

"No, I think he is thoroughly upset with me right now," she says with a laugh.

"Yes, he is," I say with a smirk. Taking a deep breath, I go to find him.

I haven't a clue as to what to say. What the fuck am I supposed to say to him when his whole world is once again being pulled out from under him? How am I supposed to make any of this okay for him?

I look around the room and he is nowhere to be found. I assume he is in his fort.

"Christian," I call for him.

"No Seattle," I hear his voice muffled by all the blankets.

Despite my aching back, I stoop down and enter the fort only to find him in a fetal position next to his pillows.

"Why not Seattle," I ask, sitting close to him. He doesn't respond. "Is it because you're going to miss Ana?"

He nods his head.

"I know," I whisper to him, knowing exactly how he feels. "Moving to a new place is scary enough without that." I run my fingers through my hair, trying to figure out what to say to help him. After a minute, I come up with something. "May I ask you something?"

He nods.

"Did Ana ever tell you that she once lived with me in Seattle?"

He shakes his head no.

"She did and so did your mom," I tell him.

"Mommy liked Seattle," he says.

"Seattle is a very nice place to live and I had fun with your mom there."

"Ana too?"

"Yes, Ana too."

"Then why won't she come back to stay?"

"Maybe she will one day," I say with way too much hope in my voice to suit myself. "We shouldn't rule it out. But I know for a fact that she wouldn't let you go if she didn't think it was a good idea for you to be with me."

"What if you're mean?"

"Is that why you want her to go? You think I'm going to be mean to you?"

He nods his head.

"Ana told me that men who said they were your dad were mean to you, but its not like that with me. I am your dad and you are my son. I will never be mean to you on purpose. That's not to say I won't make mistakes. I will make a lot of mistakes, big mistakes, but never will I be mean to you on purpose."

"A daddy can make mistakes?"

"Sure, they can. My dad made a lot of mistakes with me growing up, but he was never mean to me on purpose."

"You have a daddy," he asks, sitting up.

"I do. His name is Carrick Grey and he's your Grandpa."

"I have a Grandpa?"

I grin with a nod of my head.

"You have a Grandpa and a Grandma," I tell him. "And you know what else?"

"What?"

"You have an Aunt and an Uncle."

"I do?"

"They all live in Seattle and they can't wait to meet you."

"They all nice?"

"They are all very nice and they all love you very much."

"Already?"

I nod.

"Do you want to meet them?"

"In Seattle," he asks me.

"In Seattle with me and your new family."

"A family," he whispers it, thinking it over to himself. "Can I come back here if I don't like it?"

Shit.

"Christian, you will like it," we hear Ana on the outside of the fort before she comes in. "The Greys are a wonderful family. They are your family and you belong with them. I know you're scared of going to a new place again, but this will be the last time, the very last time you will ever have to do this."

"You promise?"

"I promise," Ana and I both say.

"Can Ana come and visit," he asks me. As excited as he is about his new extended family, he still doesn't want to give her up. I can relate to that on so many levels. She is someone who is not easy to let go of.

"I still have family in Seattle, so yes, I will come and visit," she answers for me.

"Kay," he says, just like that. And just like that he is happy about Seattle again.

"Nora was looking for you," Ana tells him. The mentioning of her name has him up and running to go and find her.

I send up a silent prayer that he's not putting up a fight about leaving Nora behind.

"Well, that was better than expected," I tell Ana, crawling out of that damn fort.

"You are good with him, Daddy," she says. That word has as whole other tone coming from her but she doesn't realize it.

"He makes it easy," I tell her before noticing my bag at her feet.

"Taylor brought you over a change of clothes," she says. "I figure you can change here. That way you won't have to come back and pick Christian up after."

"Pick him up?"

"So, you two can spend the day together."

"The day? Just the two of us? What am I supposed to do with him for a whole day by myself?"

"Its New York, Christian. I'm sure there is something to do here."

"He's five, Ana. I can't go out clubbing with him, for fuck sakes."

She laughs.

"Maybe something that is a little more age appropriate," she suggests before her phone rings.

I can tell by the giddiness in her voice, its that Barrington fucker and I roll my eyes at her retreating back before taking out my own phone.

"Mrs. Kinkaid, Christian Grey here. I was wondering if I could have a moment of your time later this evening?"

Author's Note:

Sorry for the delay with updating and thank you to those who reached out in concern.

You can find me on Facebook in the group the Playroom of the FSoG Sisterhood.

Thank you for reading and reviewing.