Caity: Hello and welcome to my next chapter!!!
Tash: Took you long enough....I want vengeance!!
Caity: Vengeance on who?
Tash: That biatch Sakura!! Sasuke is mine I tells ya! Mine!! Muwahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Nae: Okay...Here you go... Shoves random little red pill into Tash's mouth
Tash: O.O
Caity: Will she be okay?
Nae: Yepperoonis!! See it's only....elephant tranquiliser!! What in the custard pie!! I asked for Iocane!!! Niou!!! My plan has been foiled...foiled....
Terese: ...
Caity: Can't argue with that Terese! Reader, read on if you dare. Are you brave enough to face the dangers that may be lurking at the turn of every page. Can you handle the traumatising experience that may reveal itself to you.... This story is not for people who have breathing difficulty, cannot spell mississippi or pregnant women. Please enjoy!! ^^
Terese:.......
Tash: O.O
Nae:....foiled...foiled.....foiled....foiled.....foiled.....
Ahem, anyways where was I? Oh yes, our favourite people were sitting in a classroom, facing a three-headed dragon...no wait, that's just Tash...
"Listen up you weaklings!!! Everyone except you Sasuke!! I love you!!...ahem! I want you all, again excluding Sasuke, to.....do my laundry.."
"......."
"Well what are you waiting for! Get to it!" Tash ordered as she walked over to Sasuke and just stood there staring at him. Out of the blue Caity fell from the ceiling and landed on her head.
"Nae! You didn't have to push me outta the air vent!!" She screeched, standing up and rubbing her sore head. Extremely audible snickering could be heard from above.
"Stop that! It's not funny! I could've been seriously injured!!!"
The snickering grew louder. Caity rolled her eyes and walked past the-still-staring-at-Sasuke-Tash. Pulling two objects out of her pocket she put them in Sasuke's hand.
"You might need those! See you all in an hour!!" Caity said and after ruffling Sasuke's hair and laughing to herself, she disapeared. Sasuke looked down at his 'presents', pepper spray and a.......rape whistle!?! Sasuke choked on his own spit and fell of his chair, Tash just sighed dreamily as she leaned on his desk.
"Well I say we need to get out of here!" Naruto whisper-yelled.
"I agree! I'm nearly out of chips.." Choji trailed off as he looked at Shikamaru who was asleep and covered in chip packets so that you could only see his spiky ponytail.
"Well I vote that we put the ramen in charge of the operation!" Naruto declared as he pointed to the awesomeness bowl of ramen in front of him, Sakura sweatdropped.
"Naruto... How did you get that?"
"Tsk, tsk Sakura, Sakura, Sakura...." Naruto said as he shook his head slowly "A good paperboy never reveals his secrets..."
"......"
"We'll need a diversion..." Shikamaru's muffled voice came from beneath the chip packets.
"Right you are! Kankuro! We need a diversion...."
"No, I refuse! You're going to leave me here and escape!"
"No we're....ok we are, but you'll be a hero!! You'll be better than Gaara ever was!"
"Can we not talk about me in past tense, I am still alive you know.." Gaara said, clearly irrated or so the grinding of his teeth led them to believe.
"You mean I'll be better than Gaara? Like everyone will like me more than him? As in-"
"Yes! Now here's what I want you to do...pssst pssst psssst" Naruto said, translating the ramen bowls orders, it was the leader of the operation afterall.
3 minutes later
"Ummm guys, I don't know about this...." Kankuro said uncertaintly as he tugged the wig over his hair.
"Don't worry you look great, now go get em' tiger!" Temari encouraged as he shoved Kankuro forwards, she was getting out of this place damnit and if she had to lose a brother to do so then it was fine by her. Kankuro sauntered over to Tash and threw an arm around her shoulders.
"Hey babe" He whispered in her ear. Tash spun around and immediately tackle hugged him down to the ground.
"SASUUUUUUUUKKKKKKEEEE!!!!!" She squealed happily "I always knew that you would come for me!!"
"Ackkk" Was all Kankuro could manage to squeeze out of his throat due to his limited air supply. Yes, the ramen was a genius, what better way to distract a fangirl than with the object of her obsession. Now the real question was where they managed to find a Sasuke costume....
In the air vents
"Yes! We're free! And I got rid of one brother! Miracles do happen!" Temari screamed joyously.
"We're not out of this yet...the ramen says that they've posted guards at all the exits, skilled ninja's in training....guys I don't think that we'll be able to beat them...they look pretty tough..." Naruto trailed off as he pointed through the grating at two men wearing pink dresses that were comparing which shade of purple nail-polish was 'to die for'.
"No I definitely think that Plum Perfection is the best!"
"Like, no way girlfriend! Violet Haze is like, totally the newest fad...."
"Oh puh-lease! Plum Perfection could whip Violet haze's ass any day, any time..."
"What was that bitch!" The second man screamed as he lunged at the first, making them both tumble down the stairs and effectively knocking themselves out. Suddenly Itachi appeared...
"That's what happens to people who don't respect that Lilac Stars is the best!!" He snarled before he poofed himself away back to the Akatsuki base, it was Thursday afterall and it was his turn to serve the tea and cucumber sandwiches.
"See! I knew that ramen would make a good leader, but you all doubted him!! He could even use a summoning jutsu to summon Itachi!! Now if that isn't cool then I don't know what is.." Naruto said as he poked the seething younger Uchiha in the shoulder just to piss him off, it was fuuuuun.
"Na-ru-to....If you value your life and your ability to make babies, then quit it..." Sasuke growled, he had let his chance to avenge his clan slip through his fingers, some minion Robert was... He was never around when you needed him!! Bloody, unreliable, pits...
Naruto, being as clever as he was, had just decided that the Uchiha was angry and he was threatening him. Worst of all.... he was serious!! He left the Uchiha to mope at the back of the pack with his fangirls coughSAKURA AND INOcough, and made his way out of the air vent and towards the now unguarded door. The group held their breaths and flung the door open to reveal..... ANOTHER HALLWAY!! They all fell down anime style with little veins of irratation, why would they put guards there if it wasn't an exit!! Shikamaru groaned in frustration: He hadn't added this into his calculations.
"Okay, well the ramen says that we should gooooo....ummmm...." Naruto trailed off as he pulled a used pair of chopsticks out of his pocket and threw them in the air, they both landed pointing right.
"The ramen says that we should go right! Dattebayo!" Naruto chirped as he pocketed his chopsticks once more, he would need them when the ramen was done being the leader..... heh heh.
The others were not in the mood to argue so they just sighed and followed Naruto. They knew that eventually they would regret trusting his judgement but until then they may as well see where it would take them.
Four hours later
"How long is this hallway!!" Chouji whined, he was pretty near to passing out as he hadn't eaten a chip in 6.9 seconds. This was killing him slowly and painfully, from the inside out.
"Ok Ino, reason we love Sasuke number 667788: He's HOT HOT HOT!!!" Sakura cheered.
"Yeah, ok reason number 667789: He's smoking HAWT!!!"
"Good one, reason number 667790: He's sooooooooooooooooo hot!!!!"
"ah huh, that is seconded sister, reason number 667791: His name is HOT!!!"
"Oh! I didn't even think of that one, reason number 667792: He has hot eyes..."
"Yay-yuh! Reason number 667793-"
"SHUT UP!! YOU HAVE BEEN AT IT NON-STOP FOR THE LAST 3 MINUTES!!! A SANE PERSON CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH!!!" Tenten screeched, as she pulled on her famous 'panda ears' in frustration, she took a deep breath and said as calmly as she could.
"Besides if you want hot, look at Neji! Now he's fine!"
"Gasp! She is so right! Eeeeeeeeeeep!!!" Ino squealed, fainting dramatically as Sakura caught her. Neji looked like a cornered animal, his eyes bulging out of his head and a crouched I'm-ready-to-run-at-given-moment position. Tenten smirked, revenge was sweet. That'd teach him to diss the buns! They were awesome! And practical! Some ninja's coughNARUTOcough, wore the most innapropriate clothing or had the most innapropriate hair coughINOcough. Sheesh and he was dissing the 'panda ears' like he's all that! Oh no he didn't! Tenten snapped out of her random thoughts just in time to see Ino glomp Neji, making them both lose balance and fall to the ground. She stifled her laughter and walked around them just as Sakura jumped onto him to.
"Hey where's Neji-san! Without his burning fire of youth we will never make it out of this unyouthful prison youthfully alive.....so we will not!!" Lee cried dramatically as he bent down on one knee and reached for the ceiling with other hand over his heart. Tenten let out a huge gaffaw of laughter to try to cover Neji's strangled sounds from around the corner... yeah, she failed...
"ACCCCKK!!!"
"Oh my golly gosh! What in the youthy youthfulness was that!?! I youthfully take it upon my youthful self to investigate this unyouthful disturbance. Tenten-youthful-flower-san!! If I do not come back alive, take my body back to the ever youthful Gai-Sensei!! And I don't want any tears!! That is the biggest display of unyouthfullness under the starry sky!! Oh Youth!!! I'm coming for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!" Lee said, before he dashed around the corner.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A girly scream was heard as Lee came sprinting back around the corner. Breathing heavily with his hands on his knees, he waited a while before speaking.
"Nothing in all my youthful thirteen years could have prepared me for such a youthful display of affection, no wonder Sakura doesn't notice me!! I have not been original and youthful enough in my love declarations!! How could my youthful eyes have been so unyouthfully blind!! HOOOOWW!!!!" Lee's eyes lit up with a fire of determination. "I shall beat Neji!! He is now my youthful and ever eternal rival!! So says me, to ye Tenten-youthful-flower-san!!"
"Yeah Lee, let's just go, before the others get to far away from us...." Tenten said as she took off after the group, she didn't want to be alone when Neji finally got free from the fangirl clutches of doom!! Lee followed after her yelling something about how not walking with a lady was a unyouthfull display of disrespect in the most degrading of terms or something like that anyway.
Around the corner
"FINALLY! I AM FREE!!!" Neji cried as he speed-skipped around the corner and towards the group. I think that some of his brain cells had died from affection-overload....how sad....
Ino and Sakura followed behind him, hands clasped over their hearts and love hearts in their eyes. Seeing this Neji quickened up so that he was speed-speed-skipping, finally catching up with the group he decided to sing so that he could share his happiness with the world!!
"IF YOU THINK THAT NEJI HYUUGA'S REALLY GREAT, CLAP YOUR HANDS!! IF YOU THINK THAT NEJI HYUUGA'S REALLY GREAT, CLAP YOU HANDS!! NEJI'S REALLY GREAT AND YOU KNOW IT!! NOW YOU REALLY WANNA SHOW IT!! IF YOU THINK NEJI HYUUGA'S GREAT CLAP YOUR HANDS!!!"
It's safe to say that only four people clapped their hands, Neji of course, duh, Lee!!, Ino and Sakura. Neji seemed pleased with this result because he then began to hand out easter eggs to everyone, wearing a pair of fluffy yellow bunny ears. Needless to say Tenten had had enough! It was no fun picking on someone like this! She wanted the old Neji back... wow she never thought that she would hear herself think that... Anyway, she picked up a discarded and dusty frisbee, probably left form the days when the school had been full of kids, and threw it with all her might at Neji's head. He blinked and rubbed his sore head.
Wait, why was his head fuffy?? He pulled off the horrifying bunny ears that were illegal in every country except Mexico and threw them on the ground. Almost immediately Sakura and Ino began fighting over who got to keep them. Neji didn't even seem to notice he was too busy wondering why he couldn't remember the last five minutes. Tenten smirked once more as she pocketed her video camera, revenge was sweet but blackmail was even sweeter...muahahahhaa!! Gaara, sick of having no lines in this fanfic decided to take action.
"Everyone! Meet Dianna!! Say hi to everyone Dianna-chan," Gaara smiled as he pulled out a small green venus fly trap from his pocket.
"......."
"Good girl Dianna-chan!"
Everybody stared at Gaara for about four minutes before shrugging, afterall stranger things have happened today. They were just about to continue on their epic quest to find an exit when they were stopped by three scary figures blocking the hallway.
"And just where do you think that your go-"
"AHHHH! IT'S THE PSYCO RED-HEADED DEMON EVERYONE RUN!!!!" Naruto screamed as he dashed back into the classroom shielding the ramen from further harm. The others followed without hesitation, hey! You can't blame them they were still in 'follow the ramen til' the ends of the Earth' mode. The three scary figures, Caity, Nae and Terese, followed them in, that was literally easier than they thought that it would be.
"OMG SASUKEEEEE!! YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM MEE!!!!"
"ARGH!! STAY BACK!! I'M NOT SASUKE DAMNIT!! AGHH!!"
Caity sweatdropped at the sight before her - Tash was clinging to Kankuro dressed in Sasuke's clothes, a discarded Sasuke-chicken-ass wig on the floor next to them.
"HELP ME!!!" Kankuro wailed as he flailed his arms pathetically, in his last ditch attempt to get away from Tash. Nae smirked as she pulled out her anti-Tash weapon, last weeks maths homework, and waved in Tash's face. Tash hissed as she dropped Kankuro and eyed the piece of paper suspiciously. Nae used it to herd her out of the room, dragging a poor confused Terese with her.
"Okay, ladies, gentlemen and Kankuro!!-"
"Hey! I resent that!" Kankuro huffed as he magically poofed back into his black outfit, being in the white pants and blue t-shirt was like the equivalent of slow torture...
"Yeah yeah whatever! Anyways! Say hello to your new history teacher!!" Caity cried as she threw her arms up into the air for emphasis. The class looked around expectantly, where was their history teacher...unless....oh great....
"Yes that's right! I am your history teacher! Great, huh?" Caity said as she gave them a thumbs up. Everyone groaned and banged their heads on the desk except for Naruto who was too busy eating their 'leader' to know what was going on.
Caity: Phew another chapter finished, I'm not gonna lie it took me forever to get motivated for this but now I can cross it off my to-write list! Sweet! Sorry if it's really bad, I had major writers block.. ehehe
Nae: Whoo review people! We feel unloved! Come on!! Click on the button!! It beckons to you and you know it does!!
Neji: Click the button....it is your destiny....