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Sins of the Father

Chapter 26

Much Too Late for Goodbye

Christian's POV

"Go make sure you have everything ready for Ana's visit while I talk to Grandma, alright?"

"Kay," Teddy says, getting up to go to his room. "Be right back, Grandma."

"Alright, My Sweetheart," Mom says after him. Thrilled at his level of comfort with her. She waits until he is out of sight before she speaks again. "How is he taking this upcoming separation from Ana?"

"Not well. He sees her very much as I saw you when I was his age."

"I imagined as much," she frets. "But he is very resilient. Now, what about you?"

"I hate that he has to go through it, of course. I tried to put if off as long as possible."

She is right about him, but I am forced to wonder how much can he take at such a young age.

"Yes. Bringing Ana here to help with his transition. You went to great lengths to do that, I'm sure."

"He's my son, Mother," I say to her, not appreciating her implication. "Exactly what are you getting at?"

"Oh nothing."

"Good," I say, pleased to end it.

"It's just that..."she begins again and I roll my eyes. I should have known it wouldn't be so easy. "When you call me Mother, I know there is more to it than you are saying. It's your tell. Always has been."

"Well, there is nothing more to report as of lately. Ana is going to Singapore and my son's heart is breaking because he has to say goodbye to her."

I refuse to tell her about the drunk dial conversation I had with her last night. At the very least, I need to keep my pride in tact where that fuck up is concerned.

"Its true, she is excited about Singapore, but maybe if you gave her another option-"

"She's meeting someone there, mom. She's seeing someone else."

"I had no idea," she says, after picking her chin up off the floor. "She didn't mention anyone to me."

"She doesn't like to talk about that aspect of her life. Neither do I."

"What does that mean? Are you seeing someone? Are you seeing her tonight?"

"I think I just mentioned how I don't like to talk about it."

"Christian, please tell me you are not still seeing that woman."

"What woman?"

"Elena."

"Jesus Christ, Mom. I'm not seeing Elena in a romantic sense. Not in the very least or by any stretch of the imagination."

"But you are still seeing her in other forms and judging by the way you went around answering my question, you are seeing her today?"

"I told you I had a business meeting. It just so happens to be with Elena."

"Christian Trevelyan-Grey, I can't believe after everything that's happened you are still allowing her in your life and you are still trying to hide it. Did she put you up to this dishonesty? Of Couse, she did. This is Elena Lincoln we're talking about."

"I was only trying to spare your feelings in avoiding the question, Mom. She and I do own a business together and as much as I know you disapprove of her, she is still a very good friend to me."

"Christian," she whispers my name, closing her eyes momentarily with a mixture of hurt and frustration. "This is my fault. I did this. I brought that poison into our lives and I allowed this to happen to you."

"Mom, please stop blaming yourself for my actions. Nothing happened that I didn't want to happen."

"You still don't see it? After all this time, you still don't see how she abused you. How she manipulated and used you for her own selfish needs."

"Mother, she did nothing of the sort."

"What if someone like that took advantage of Teddy? And what about Teddy?"

"What about him?"

"Tell me you will not let that woman near him, because I won't allow it. I failed you, but I won't make that same mistake again with him. I will not allow her to touch a hair on his precious little head, Christian."

"For the love of God, mom, you didn't fail me. You saved me, but so did Elena. And she would never do anything to Teddy. He's just a little boy."

"So were you. Christian, you were just a little boy too."

I shake my head, giving up trying to get her to see reason. I don't understand how she could compare me with my son. He is not a horny teenager. He is just five years old for fuck sakes.

"Point well made, Mother," I appease her, in hopes that she will drop it.

"I hope so."

"And to answer your question, no, I don't foresee Elena spending quality time with Teddy."

My quality time phrase sets her off again.

"She will not spend ANY time with Teddy," she corrects me. She hasn't taken such a tone since I was fourteen years old and she was called into the principal's office for me starting fights again. "I will speak to Taylor about this."

"You will do nothing of the sort," I scold her. I admit I'm hurt by her feeling the need to take such drastic measures as to go over my head and speak to my employee. It is so out of character for her. "Do you truly think I would let anyone hurt him again?"

"No, I don't," she softens. "I really didn't think that you would. I just needed to hear you say it."

"Good."

"Christian, I accept the fact that I won't be able to change your mind where that… woman is concerned. I almost lost you once when I tried. You and Ana paid the price for it. I will always be sorry for that."

"Ana and I both make our own beds, Mom, and now we have to lie in them. But if it helps you feel any better, she and I came to some sort of truce last night."

"I assume this truce is Teddy related since he is so fond of her."

"That is a fair assumption," I say, kissing her cheek before going to my room. "I need to go and get ready."

"Aren't you going to be here to say goodbye to Ana?"

"No," I tell her. I have little desire to see her after the way we left things last night. I'm done making a fool of myself in her honor. "We said our goodbyes last night. Don't wait up for me. I'm seeing someone after my meeting."

"Christian?"

"And she has nothing to do with Elena," I call back to her to stop her fretting.

….

Ana's POV

"I hate you, Ana Steele," Kate says again, hugging me. She has been crying nonstop all day. She swears its her hormones and the fact that she will miss me, but I know she is having a hard time right now with her doubts about being a mom and marrying Elliot.

"Well, I love you to pieces," I tell her, hugging her back. "And I'll be back before you even miss me."

"I already miss you."

"I miss you too. But I know its going to be okay, Kate. You'll see. Elliot loves you. If I can get away with shaking sense into you about it, I would."

She rolls her eyes.

"Have a safe flight," she says. "Call me the minute you can."

"You know I will."

I hug her one more time. I don't know why it seems so much harder to leave now than it did when I moved to New York.

I wipe away my tears and slide into the back to the SUV, that Christian insisted on providing me, while the driver takes me over to Escala to say my goodbyes.

"Sawyer," I squeal his name when he greets me in the foyer.

"As I live and breathe, Miss Steele."

"Luke Sawyer, only you can pull off being a sarcastic jerk while being extremely professional all at the same time," I tease him. "And I missed you too."

He actually cracks a smile.

He leads me to the great room where Grace is listening to Teddy read her a story. She is very impressed with him as am I.

"Ana," he says getting off the couch to run to me.

I give him and Grace a quick hello and tell him how proud I am at his reading so well.

Gail calls him into the kitchen to bring the tea he made especially for me.

"Where is Carrick," I ask Grace. "I was hoping to thank him for his help in getting everything taken care of with Teddy before I go."

"Oh, no, Ana. We are the ones who should be thanking you. I can't tell you how grateful we all are. Carrick would also say the same, but I'm afraid he's held up at the office for a few more hours."

"It must be hard work being a lawyer. Not that a doctor isn't."

"They are both very demanding," she says, thoughtfully. "But we've managed to have a good balance. It takes practice though."

"Is everything okay," I ask her. "You seem a little sad."

"Oh yes. Yes, everything is fine. I'm sorry to worry you. I'm just being sentimental. I wish everyone could make it work with their true love the way that Carrick and I have."

I relax thinking my mind is going places it shouldn't again. I had confided in Kate about how seeing Carrick behave with his forty-year-old lawyer daughter gave me the creeps. She was quick to jump to his defense and call me jaded. But in the same breath, she had me go over it all again. I don't think she appreciated it much either, but we both decided it wasn't our place to say anything.

"Surprise," Teddy yells out, pulling both Grace and I from our own thoughts.

"WOW," I say, when I see him carrying a huge balloon that says come back soon and I tiny red box.

Gail is carrying a serving tray of iced tea for us.

We sit at the coffee table drinking the best iced tea and eating the best slice of cheery pie I ever had.

"Open your present, Ana," Teddy says, handing to me the red box. His little face is bright with anticipation as I lift the lid.

"Oh my God," I whisper in awe. It's a little diamond garnished Teddy bear charm with gold colored belly, nose, and ears. His eyes are gray like Teddy's and the curl of hair on his forehead is copper colored.

"Its me," he says, proudly.

"Yes, it is," I say, trying not to cry. "And he is adorable, just like you."

"So now you won't forget me."

"Never," I assure him, caressing his head. "You will always have a special place in my heart. Just like this little Teddy."

He grins wide at my words.

"Its for your charm bracelet," he explains.

I nod. I knew instantly what it was for the moment I saw it. My mind goes racing backwards in time to the Heathman hotel where I spent my 23rd birthday.

"Christian," I whispered as I lifted the bracelet and placed it in the palm of my hand. "Its beautiful."

I ran my fingers gently along the custom-made charms. Each one held a special meaning for us: The glider. The silver necktie. The catamaran. The vanilla ice cream cone. The letter C with the smaller A tucked protectively into it. The most cherished and the most thrilling moments of my life were right there on that bracelet.

"Do you really like it," he asked me. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes about it. The rare glimpse of vulnerability because of what that bracelet represented to him. They were special moments in his life as well and he wasn't sure if I felt the same.

"I love it," I told him to put his mind at ease. "I love it so much."

I gave it to him so he could help me put it on.

"Perfect," I told him, holding up my wrist, watching the tiny charms dangle from the loops of the bracelet.

And it was perfect. Back then, it was all so perfect.

"Perfect," I tell Teddy now of his charm. "Thank you, Teddy. I love it."

I ask for Christian, suddenly wanting to see him. If only to thank him and say goodbye. At least that's the lie I'm going with today. If I knew how to be the least bit honest with myself, I would admit that its because I need him to know that bracelet still means something to me and I still have it tucked safely away in my jewelry box. I haven't laid eyes on it since I left Seattle, but I know it's there.

I look beyond the foyer, thinking that he's in his office, refusing to see me. The way I'd spoken to him last night, I really can't blame him. He had called at the wrong time. I had just received my tenth lecture from Kate this week about my so-called denial.

"Are you standing there telling me you feel absolutely nothing for him, Ana," she asked me.

Her hands were on her hips and her blonde hair was swept up in a high ponytail that bobbed back and forth as she barked accusations at me. The one thing I didn't miss while in New York was the Kate Kavanagh inquisition.

"I refuse to say another word about it, Kate," I told her, resisting the urge to yank that ponytail.

"Don't get me wrong. I am no fan of Christian Grey. I was hoping when you left you would find a great guy and fall in love. But now here you are again and so once again you are just going to not admit a thing. Just leave and not face it. The same way you did before."

"Face what? He and I have been over for a long time now. I am over him. My God. Why are you finding that so hard to believe? I don't go dragging up your past relationships and accuse you of being in denial about your feelings."

"Helllo. Elliot."

"That is not a past relationship Kate."

"Fine. I would give you permission to drag up my past relationships if I was burying my head in the sand about how I felt about the guy. Remember, I am the girl who sat up all night with you crying. And I am the girl who know the real reason you took off to New York."

"And you are the girl that's going to keep your mouth shut about it. Because I. am. over. it. Kate. I am with Hunter now."

"Oh my God. You finally mentioned his name," she gasped as she held her chest in mock surprise.

"Of course, I've mentioned him to you Kate," I told her. Hadn't I? "HE is the man that I love."

"Yeah, keep convincing yourself of that, Steele."

I was so pissed at Kate, when he called, I took it out on Christian.

"Oh, he had a meeting he needed to attend," Grace tells me now, gently. She is careful with her words so not to allow her son to come across as rude. Under any other circumstances, I would laugh at her sweet attempt.

"I see," I say, hoping that my disappointment isn't showing.

I never thought he wouldn't be here to say goodbye to me. I also never thought that it would bother me so much that he wouldn't feel the need to say goodbye. I look down at the teddy bear charm that is still nestled in my hand.

The fact that he suggested Teddy give me a charm for that bracelet that meant so much to us back then tells me something about how he is feeling though.

The fact that he isn't here to say goodbye, tells me something more.

I think I may have finally pushed him away for good this time.

I should be happy. Its what I wanted since the moment I got on that plane to move to New York, leaving him behind. So, why now does it seem like my heart is breaking? Kate's words come back to haunt me.

Be careful what you wish for.

Author's Note:

Thank you for reading and reviewing.