Coming Home
Chapter 6: Blast from the past
After my little disagreeing with Prim because of my 'not date' with Delly, I felt unrest for the rest of the evening. I couldn't sleep very well and woke up early with a huge headache. I took a cold shower to try to relax a bit and got ready to go to work, but my mind kept thinking about the events of the previous night.
What if my sister was right about Delly's intentions? Will I be okay with that? But then again, I am an unattached guy. What the heck if anything happens between us? In that case we would be both consenting adults. And I think I have earned the right to at least have a selfish day for myself. Denying that Delly was a really beautiful girl was being a hypocrite. Any guy would be more than happy to jump in bed with her. Just the thought of her bare breasts made my neglected body react.
But, on the other side...I have a responsibility with my sister. I still haven't being granted full custody of Prim, and behaving like a horny teenager for the sake of pure lust is not exactly the best example I need to set for her. No matter how discreet I manage to act, Prim knows very well I'm not slightly interested in having a serious relationship with Delly, and for that I could lost her respect.
No, that was a big no. I have manage to keep my urges under control so far. So I can, and should wait until at least I find someone with whom I really want something more than just "no strings attached" sex. Those times are long gone. Besides...before the Delly incident yesterday, I had finally worked the nerve to call Katniss. I need to find out what happened. I need to fill in all the blanks, or I will never have peace, and even less be able to move on from her.
I shook my head trying to push away all the thoughts and memories. Thank God I had enough work pending at the bakery to keep my mind occupied for the next eight hours. When I arrived at the bakery, Sae gave me a strange look.
"Are you okay, boy? You look worried about something, I hope it's not about that supposed date with the Cartwright girl."
"What the hell!" —I thought— "how did Sae find out that Delly invited me to dinner today?"
"Don't be surprised my boy. That creature doesn't know what it's like to keep her mouth shut. And her mother came in early to buy some buns for the dinner that 'Delly is preparing for her boyfriend.' Her words, not mine."
I felt my blood boiling.
"I'm not her boyfriend Sae. I'm not interested in her, or anybody else for all that matters. In fact I'm not even going to that dinner." —I answered her briefly.
She gave me an accomplice smile. "I know you aren't. That silly girl will never be your type. Besides, if I know you well, you're still in love with somebody else." —she winked an eye and left me dumbfounded, going to the front to deal with the morning rush.
"Am I that ridiculously obvious? And what the hell is going on Delly's mind? How did her mother dare to announce that she was my girlfriend? We have not even go on one date and she's already planning the wedding." —at that moment I decided that it was definitely not a good idea to have dinner with her, much less in her apartment.
Just on cue, my phone rang.
Delly. I turned my eyes in annoyance.
If there was a good time to get out of that date, was now. So I answered at the third ring.
"Hey Peeta?"
"Hey Delly? Listen ehh..."
"I'm just calling to tell you I'm really looking forward to our date tonight."
"Shit! Prim was right."
"Also I want to ask you if you have any food allergies, and what wine would you prefer. Just to make sure everything is perfect. I don't want to scare you away." —she said laughing softly.
That answered any doubts I may had that she was already thinking this is more than just a simple dinner between friends. She wants to impress me. And my baby sister warned me. I need to cancel this, because between her infatuation with me, some alcohol and my involuntary celibacy, I could end up finding myself in a very compromising situation. And one that I am 100% sure I don't want. So, although I was annoyed by the rumors that her mother had started, I decided to ignore them and give her a plausible excuse to cancel the date, trying my best not to offend her.
"Listen Delly, I...I don't think it's a good idea for me to go to your place, least of all at night. Last night you caught me off-guard and I didn't think clearly. CPS is still monitoring me and...I don't want to give them the impression I'm fooling around. My main concern right now is my sister's stability, and, I can't risk to lose her custody. It's nothing personal. You're a great gal. I'm really sorry."
There was a pregnant pause.
"Delly? I'm really sorry. The last thing I want to do is to hurt you."
"But...Peeta, I really want us to spend sometime together. I really, really like you Peeta."
"Delly...please I...I have to be honest with you. You are a beautiful girl, and I'm really flattered. But...I just can't give you what you seek."
"You would if I was Katniss Everdeen?"
She caught me off-guard again. I was definitely not expecting that.
"I...I don't know what you mean. What does she has to do with this conversation Delly. I haven't even mentioned her."
"I think she has everything to do with this. And I know why. I heard the other day that she's coming back to Panem. The stupid cops that are always at Abernathy's bar, Cray and Tread are running a bet that you'll fall at her feet as soon as she arrives. Because you're still mooning over her like the lovesick fool you've always been."
"What the hell?" -I thought- "How many gossipers are there in this town! And, what do they care if I'm still or not in love with Katniss? It's my problem, not theirs..." —but suddenly, Delly's words sunk in. I fell like a bucket of iced water was thrown over my head.
Katniss is coming home.
At my lack of response, Delly took it as a confirmation.
"So, it's true. Really Peeta? Are you going to let everybody here laugh at you, showing them that you're still in love with a girl who cheated and discarded you like trash? Where is your self respect? It's time you forget about her! I even heard she has a kid! And you are going to let her rub it in your nose, while you are still unable to move on?"
"Katniss has a kid?" —I felt a punch in my stomach that sucked up all my air, and I felt dizzy. Reaching for the nearest stool, I took a few deep breaths. This was definitely not a conversation I wanted to have with Delly.
"Listen Delly, I don't know where you got this whole story from. I don't have to give explanations to anyone about what I feel or not for someone who at a given moment was very important to me. And to be honest, actually I am very disappointed with you that you have started to make rumors of a relationship beyond a simple friendship between us, just because you invited me to dinner. I can't offer anything more than friendship now. Not you or anyone else. Can you understand and respect that?"
I heard a sob on the other side of the line. I felt a twinge of guilt in the pit of my stomach. I was mad at myself just for having the nerve to think about having sex with her, because that was scoundrel behavior.
"I'm sorry, Peeta, it was not me, it's just that, my mom is very enthusiastic, and she knows that...she knows that I care a lot about you. She just wanted to help me."
"Help? How? Making everyone in town believe that you and I have a relationship that doesn't exist? Delly, I'm sorry, I can only see you as a friend, nothing more. And if you can't understand that, then it's better that I stay away from you."
"No please! I'm sorry Peeta!" —she begged— "I understand. I'll only be your friend, but don't push me away, please. Just let's have dinner, as friends, I don't ask for anything more."
"Sorry Delly, but the rumor it's already running and if I go to your apartment it will only confirm it. And I don't need the CPS social worker digging on my private matters. I have to get to work, we'll talk later."
I cut the call before she could respond. I put on my apron, prepared the frosting pipes and started working on the first cake. But the thought of what Delly said about Katniss coming back home, and having a child were disturbing me. I know I have no claim over Katniss, and if she got involved with somebody else and had a child was not exactly my business, no matter how much I still loved her. For some reason I didn't understand, I felt a hint of hope in the depths of my being.
Sae, as usual, brought me a cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll around 10, and congratulate me for the beautiful design I was working on. It was a birthday cake for a little girl and everything was flowing naturally. With her usual good humor she told me that I had done well to cancel the date with Delly and that she was sure that very soon I would find someone who would really make me very happy.
Unable to contain myself, I asked.
"Is it true that she will return to Panem?" —If there was a person who found out about all the town gossip, that's Sae.
"She, who is she?" —she asked, playing innocent. But her funny look told me that she knew very well what my question was.
"Sae, please, you know that I'm asking about Katniss. Is it true that she's coming back to town? And that she has a kid?"
Her face split into a big smile. "About was time boy! I thought you were still holding on to that grudge for what happened so many years ago. We all always knew that you have never been able to stop loving her. "
"Sae please!" —I covered my face with my hands, feeling like the worst idiot on the planet— "Do people in this town really consider me so stupid as to be talking behind my back and making bets on things that happened five years ago?"
She came up to me and caressed my face maternally.
"My boy, you and that girl grew up here, and you kids and your love story won the hearts of many, specially when you challenged your mother; may she rest in peace. Everyone in town knew that Maureen didn't want Katniss for you, just because of the fact that Katniss' mother Lilly; may she rest in peace too, had been your father's girlfriend many years before you two were born.
My face must had lost all color, because Sae began to laugh. My brain was running a thousand times a second.
"My dad was Katniss's mother boyfriend? But the Everdeens didn't even lived here? They were from The Seam. Katniss came to town when she was sixteen years old, after her parents died." —I muttered.
"Take a break from that boy. They will not come to pick it up until tomorrow afternoon. This is a story you need to hear. Take a seat." —She said pointing to one of the kitchen stools, and sat across from me.
"A little over twenty-five years ago, Lilly Stone, the apothecaries' daughter, was the girlfriend of Graham Mellark, the baker's only son —yes my child, this bakery belonged to your grandparents— they were together since they were kids. After high school, Graham decided he didn't want the bakery, so the Mellarks sold it to me, and he went to the Capitol and became a law student. Lilly stayed at the Community College to study Pharmacy. They tried to maintain the relationship, but after a year your dad decided to break up. Apparently he was going out with an art student he had met in the Capitol; your mom. Lilly was heartbroken for a while, until she met James Everdeen. James was just a poor miner from the Sean that she met when he came here to help his best friend, Hunter Hawthorne, with a move."
"That's Gale's dad. Right?"
"Yes. He was about one year old, and his parents decided to buy a property here to open their Laundry, which they still own. Hazelle didn't want Hunter to keep working in the mines. She and Lilly became very good friends, she met James through them and after a while they started dating. When your father knew, he realized he had made a mistake, he broke up with Maureen, and came back to town. Lilly still loved him, and they were about to get back together, but then Maureen came here to confront Graham with a positive pregnancy test...you my boy. Lilly couldn't take it, she felt betrayed once more, and she decided to elope with James because she couldn't bear to see your father again. Obviously, her parents disowned her, they never approved of James and they loved Graham. He tried to convince them to don't do that, because it was his fault that Lilly ran away, but they didn't oblige. They sold the apothecary and moved the west coast. Your dad married Maureen for compromise. That's why your mom was always so protective of you. You were her winning card. When word came to town that Lilly was pregnant, only two months after she ran away with Everdeen, a lot of people thought the baby was your father's too, and that made Maureen very jealous and possessive of Graham. She even quit her studies because she had to take care of the baby so Graham could go back to the Capitol to finish his career."
"Yeah. She told me once that she had to quit her studies because of the pregnancy. Because she had to stay home so dad could finish."
"Well...that is a half truth, she could have finished too, your grandmother Mags would have helped them, she was very supportive and she adored you. But, your mom thought that if she was totally dependent, your father would never leave her, because he would never abandon you. So she did."
"You're making my mother sound like a manipulative bitch." I tried to defend her.
"No honey, I liked Maureen, she turned out to be a nice woman and a good mother. And I know she can not defend herself, but that is the truth of what happened, she didn't play very nice at the beginning. But most folks thought she acted that way because she was so in love with Graham, she didn't want to lose him. Years passed, your parents settled here, much to Maureen's displease at the beginning may I say, and their marriage had their ups and downs, but they managed. You were the glue that kept them together, and I want to think that over time, she won over your dad. Then they had Prim and their marriage was solid, it seemed that they had overcome all that teenage drama. But the rumor about Lilly's baby being Graham's never died, and that always ate your mom's entrails. She never stopped seeing Lilly as a rival, even when Graham was totally committed to their marriage. When Katniss came here, not many people recognized her as Lilly's daughter. Abernathy is James' second cousin, and very few people know that. When you two started dating, and Maureen discovered who was her mother, she snapped. Even when she realized she wasn't in fact Graham's child; since Katniss is a living portrait of her father, she never could overlook the fact that the daughter of her rival was now going to take her son. And, God forgive me for talking bad about the dead, I know she had a black hand in your break up."
I was astounded. "We didn't break up, she dumped me. You're making my mom look like a monster Sae. And she wasn't. She never would have done anything to hurt me. Katniss cheated on me, that's what happened. My mom never had anything to do with that."
Now I was angry at Sae. It wasn't fair that my mom was being attacked. She wasn't here to defend herself. I got up, took the pipping sleeve and began to work on the cake, not wanting to hear anything else. I could feel Sae's hands con my shoulders.
"My dear boy. I'm so sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way, but, it's important that at least you know why your mother never accepted your relationship with Katniss. And that might have been a big reason for her to...dump you, as you put it. And to answer your question, yes, she's coming back home. About if she has a kid, I don't know. But you should give her a chance to explain. I know you still love her, and she might still love you too. What else it takes to be together for two people who are in love?"
I turned to her and kiss her temple.
"Trust Sae. It takes trust."
That evening I went home with a deep pain in my heart. The story about my parents marriage was one I had heard a lot of times, but this version...it was a complete new one, one that made my mother look like a horrible witch. I grew up in that house. My father was always bringing her gifts and flowers and never forgot a birthday or anniversary. He loved her, and she was happy. Yeah it's true that when I was younger, way before Prim was born, they often fought, and my mom even told me once they were several times on the brink of divorce. But they always worked it out because of me.
But some things now made sense. Why her sudden change of attitude towards Katniss after the first time she came to have dinner with us. She always wanted me to go to the Capitol and finish my masters in Arts. She was so proud of me when I told her I wanted to do that. But then she told me I would never succeed if I had to drag Katniss along with me. She was so happy when she dumped me, and when I had seen her kissing with Gale; she said to me that she always knew her type.
"But Gale told me that they were never together. And now she's coming back, five years later, with a kid a probably a husband. That was what Gale meant about not being his to tell, that she moved on? Then why he told me to call her? Even if I had the chance to know what happened, I will never get her back."
I felt so stupid for clinging on to hope for the last year and doing nothing about it— "Maybe if I had called her when Gale told me ... no, she has a child!" —and then I remembered the woman I saw at the entrance of the cemetery on the day of my parents' funeral.
"Would it have been her? Dammit! I need to end this already or I'm going to go crazy!"
My cell phone beeped with another text message. Delly had been writing to me all day long apologizing a thousand times and begging me to come to her house.
"To hell, I'm going to have dinner with Delly, whatever happens, happens. Whether it was my mother's fault or not, if Katniss could forget about me and start a new life, I need to do the same, I'm not going to let her see me as an idiot failure who is still whining for her."
I took my jacket and prepared to leave when the doorbell rang. As I opened the door and saw who was standing there, my brain went to basic survival mode. The the reason for my madness.
And now, she was here, right in front of me, without any advance warning.
"Hi, Peeta."
Hi everybody! Sorry for the delay, my internet service crashed yesterday.
Did you think he did well to cancel his date with Delly? What about Sae's story?
And, after everything he learned, she's finally here, and...she has a child?
How will Peeta react...will see.
Please, leave me your thoughts. Please forgive any grammatical errors, I try my best, but English is not my first language and this is un beta-ed, so, all mistakes are my own.
See you next week.
XOXO, Lizzyvb