Disclaimers, etc., in chapter 1

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London, England
Two months later

"I know," Xander said into the telephone. "No, I know. Well, I appreciate you trying to help. Of course. Give Sam my love. All right, I will."

Xander hung up the phone and sat back in his chair.

"No luck?"

Xander looked up and saw Buffy leaning against his office door, with one arm hidden and still in the hallway.

"Not a bit," he said. "Riley says that wherever DDS has Chloe stashed, it's locked away in places he can't get to."

"That sucks. Have you talked to Jimmy recently?"

Xander shook his head. "I'll shoot him an e-mail today, to let him know about Riley. How is it possible that we have millions of dollars – literally – in a fund we use solely to bribe government officials, and we can't figure out the location of one twenty-two year old girl?"

"I don't know," Buffy said. "Incorruptibility is not a common trait."

"What's in your hand?" Xander asked.

Buffy smiled at him. "Close your eyes," she said.

"Can I just close the right one, or is that too creepy?"

Buffy rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Xander, you know that doesn't bug me."

Xander conceded her point with a nod, and closed his eyes.

"Okay," she said a few seconds later. "You can open."

Xander opened his eyes and saw – "My suit?"

"Exactly!" she said. "Newly pressed."

Xander looked up at her, despair in his eyes. "I'm not being sent to another boring conference, am I?"

"No, nothing like that," she said. "I'm giving you an opportunity."

He leaned back in his chair and looked at her warily. "What kind of an opportunity?"

"You, Mr. Harris, get to take me out to dinner tonight."

"I do," he said flatly.

"Yup."

"Where?"

"Oh, some fancy pants restaurant Giles knows," Buffy said. "It's very exclusive, but I managed to get us a table."

"Buffy, I don't –"

"Look," she said, her voice suddenly soft. "You've been… sad. For two months. I can't stand to see you this way, Xander. It breaks my heart every day."

"It's not a whole lot better on this side," he said.

Buffy looked up at him. "How long can you wait?"

"What?"

"You were with Lucy for six months, and you fell in love. We all liked her. But… it's been two months since we left Smallville, Xander, and you haven't heard a word."

"Jimmy told me that –"

"From her, Xander," Buffy said. "You haven't heard anything from her."

"I know," he said, looking down at his desk.

Buffy came around and sat on his desk, taking his hands in hers.

"I know you love her," she said. "I know that half the time, you can't think of anything else. I've been there, Xander. And do you know what I learned?"

"What?"

"That there comes a point where you have to just live your life, and not dwell on could-have-beens."

"Yeah?" Xander asked. "Told that to Riley or Spike?"

Buffy recoiled from him as if she'd been hit.

"Shit," he muttered. "I'm sorry, Buffy. That was really low. You didn't deserve that."

"No, I didn't," she said, coldly.

"I just… I've been thinking a lot of those thoughts, and afraid to face them. Afraid of what might happen if I did. What if I never see her again? What if she never forgives me?"

"You live on," she said. "With the love of your friends, you move on, eventually. That's how I did it."

"I really am sorry," Xander said sincerely, looking up at her. "That was really mean of me."

Buffy smiled weakly at him. "You've always been able to just pinpoint my weaknesses, and get me right where it counts," she said. "I guess you just know me so well."

Xander smiled. "Let me make it up to you."

"How?"

"Well, this girl I know has reservations to this really swank restaurant. I bet if I beg hard enough, she'll let us take them instead."

Buffy smiled. "Pick me up at 7," she said, before hopping off the desk and heading out of his office.

"Pick you up where?" he called after her. "Buffy, we're staying in the same house!"

* * * * *

Xander's eye rolled back in his head with pleasure.

"Oh my God," he said. "Oh, Buffy, that's amazing."

She looked up at him and licked her lips. "Isn't it?"

Xander stabbed another piece of Kobe beef onto his fork. "I can't believe I've never tried this before." He brought the beef to his mouth and sighed with satisfaction. "What is this going to run us?"

"Doesn't matter," Buffy said.

"So really, really expensive?"

"Extremely," she said, chewing on a sprig of asparagus. Xander was truly enjoying himself, and that made her smile.

Xander leaned back in his chair, wiped his mouth with the napkin and took another sip of wine. "Buffy, this was fantastic," he said. "Thank you for bringing me out. Seriously. I needed this."

"I know you did, Xander," she said. She leaned forward, and placed her hand over his. He smiled at her and squeezed her hand. Buffy's smile widened. "Shall we go?"

"Don't we have to pay?" he asked.

"Taken care of," she said. "Unless you want dessert?"

Xander shook his head. "I'm completely and utterly stuffed," he said.

"Let's go then," she said. They stood from the table, picked up Buffy's shawl from the coat check and went outside.

Xander looked at her. She was wearing a black dress that slid smoothly around her curves, highlighting them without being revealing. She looked classy.

"I don't know if I've told you this tonight," he said, "but you look really nice." Buffy smiled up at him and hooked her arm through his, leaning against him and leading him over to the sidewalk.

"We're not driving back?" Xander asked, looking behind him for their car.

"Nope," she said. "Had the car picked up. Just you and me for a walk back to the house."

Xander smiled, and they shared a companionable silence for a few minutes.

"What are you thinking about?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, you don't want to know that," he said.

"Xander," she said, looking up at him and squeezing his arm. "Yes I do."

Xander sighed. "You're not going to like it."

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to know, Xander."

"I was thinking that the last time I walked alone on this street, it was with Lucy," he said. "And that it was about a quarter-mile from here that I first realized I was in love with her. We were walking along and some guy tried to take her purse. She elbowed him in the throat, and then turned around and kicked him in the stomach when he fell down."

Xander chuckled. "The um, the guy ripped the sleeve of her dress. It was just a simple white dress, you know, knee-length, nothing special. Except it had these sheer sleeves, and this guy, he ripped one. So, I noticed the sleeve. And she just glanced at it and rolled her eyes, and then she ripped the sleeve right off. And then she pulled the other one off. And she turned around and tossed them on the guy.

"And that was when I knew," he said. "Just, everything she did was so… free of pretense. She was so sure of herself, and unflappable. I was gone."

Xander laughed again. Buffy sighed.

"Told you that you didn't want to hear it," he said.

Buffy looked up at him. "I did ask," she said.

"That you did."

They continued to walk in a slightly less comfortable silence. About ten minutes later, Xander stopped in his tracks.

"Xander?" she asked.

Xander looked at his suit. And then at her dress. And then thought about the restaurant and the way she had been treating him, how much thought she had put into this, and the money she was spending.

"What is it?" she asked.

"This… is a date."

Buffy grimaced. "I was kind of hoping you wouldn't notice."

"But… why?" he asked. "Why is this a date?"

Buffy shrugged. "What can I say?" she said. "I like you."

Xander's eyes widened. "You like me? You?"

"I know," she said, smiling sheepishly. "Kind of weird, isn't it?"

"How long has this been going on?" he asked.

"A while," she said with a slight shrug.

"Buff, come on," he said.

"It doesn't matter."

"Of course it does," he said.

"No it doesn't, Xander," she said. "Because you don't feel the same way about me."

She sat down on a bus stop bench, and he sat beside her, saying nothing.

"You're in love with Lucy," she said. "She's all that you can see. You barely even see me as a girl anymore."

"Buffy," he said softly, taking her hand. "No matter where I am, or who I'm with, or what is going on in our lives, I will always see you as a girl. And not just any girl. You're always gonna be the one who inspired me to become the man I am today. The one who set the bar for everyone who came after."

Buffy sniffed a little, and wiped a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand. "But you don't want to be with me."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I wish I did. I really do. Life would be a lot easier if I did."

Buffy chuckled. "When have we ever done anything easy?"

Xander smiled at her, put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "I love you, Buffy Summers. Don't you ever doubt that."

"I love you too, Xander," she said. "No matter what."

Buffy took a deep breath, then stood up, pulling Xander with her. "Okay," she said. "Let's go do this, then."

"What? Do what?"

"We're going back to the house and you're going to pack a bag, and I'm going to book you a plane ticket," she said, striding off in the direction of the house. "You're going after her."

"She told me not to," he said.

"I know," Buffy said. "But there's a fine line between respecting her wishes and looking like you don't give a damn."

"I've been writing," he said. "She said I couldn't call, so I wrote letters. Lots of letters. Like, every other day."

"Good," she said, dragging him along. "That's good."

They were a block away from the house when she stopped again.

"Buffy?" he asked. "What is it?"

Buffy turned to him, leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed him full on the lips. A moment later, she pulled away and smiled at him. Xander looked confused.

"It's just," she said, "I'm the only one who hadn't."

"Dawn hasn't," he said.

"Doesn't count," Buffy said, turning on her heel and heading back to the house. "Little sister. Touch her and die."

Xander laughed, and followed along with Buffy.

"You go upstairs and pack," she said. "I'll be in the office, booking you a ticket."

"I have to ask," he said.

Buffy stopped, took a deep breath, and released it. She turned to him again. "I meant it earlier, when I said that seeing you so sad was breaking my heart. I love you, Xander. You're my best friend. I can't stand to see you hurting like this. So we're going to fix it. Okay?"

Xander smiled at her. "Okay," he said. He reached down and pulled her into a long, loving hug. They held each other for almost a minute, and when they let go, both had damp eyes.

"Go," she said.

Xander ran off toward his room.

Buffy took a deep breath, and headed for the office. She sat down at one of the computers there and brought up a travel site, and looked for the fastest flight to Smallville. She quickly found a flight that was leaving in three hours, and managed to get as far as finding out that there were a few first-class seats left before breaking down.

A couple of minutes into her cry, she heard someone clear their throat. Buffy looked up and saw Giles standing at the door.

"Hi," she said, wiping her eyes with her hands, attempting to hide any evidence of what she was doing. "I didn't know you were still up."

"I didn't realize anyone was in here," he said. "Are you… what's wrong?"

"It went like I thought," she said. "But not like I hoped."

"Ah," Giles said. He closed the door to the office and pulled a chair up beside Buffy. "Xander did not respond to your affections."

"He's in love with Lucy," she said. "I can't even blame him. She's pretty, and smart, and funny, and nice. She gets him. And they really are great together."

"That doesn't make it hurt less," he said.

Buffy shook her head.

"And you came in here to escape," he said.

"Actually, to get him a ticket to Smallville," she told him. "I told him he needed to go win her back."

"What ever for?" he asked.

Buffy paused for a minute to consider her answer.

"I'm not happy," she said. "I mean, not just right now, although, I'm really not happy right now. But in general, I'm not happy. Content, maybe. But this is a hard life we lead, and there is little room for actual happiness. I don't have it. Willow doesn't, not really. You don't. Dawn… doesn't even know what she wants out of life yet, but if I had to guess, I'd say that content is the most any of us can hope for."

"That is… bleak, if not altogether inaccurate," Giles said.

"But Xander has a chance, Giles. And even… even if it's not with me, even if it hurts me to send him away, even if all I want right now is to go upstairs and convince him that I'm the one… I can't even pretend to be his friend if I don't force him to take every chance he has to be happy. And Lucy's his best shot at that."

She sat back in the chair and waved at the screen. "So here I am. Booking a plane ticket so that the man I want to be with can go find the love of his life."

"Buffy," Giles said softly, "you are a far better person than I have ever been, or could ever hope to be." He stood up and planted a soft kiss on the top of her head, placed his hand on her shoulder and smiled at her.

"Come," he said. "There will be another flight tomorrow, if necessary, and I happen to know that the kitchen has an excellent ice cream selection."

Buffy took his hand and stood up, turning off the computer monitor before leaving the room.

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End Chapter 11