Her Past Catches Up With Her
I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground and Crossing Jordan.
Chapter 20
In the conference room, everyone's setting up the room for JJ's birthday. Or what they believe is her birthday.
"JJ loves butterflies." Reid says, hanging pastel color butterflies from the ceiling.
"Actually, Shelby loves horses. Or they love her. Remember when Shelby had that wild horse follow her out of the woods. She got so attached to it. Sneaking it carrots and apples." Scott says, smiling with a little giggle at the memory.
"Yeah, because you wanted to run and she didn't want you to. She ratted you out." Auggie says, holding Juliet.
"What about when Auggie and I ran? That was a nice growth experience for me. I was so harsh to Shelby." Juliet says, realizing how mean she could really be at times back then.
"I was so worried and angry with two. Roger thought I was burning myself out. The truth of it was, I thought of you cliffhangers as my children. Yes Brady, you too." Peter says, rolling his eyes at Brady.
"Gees, thanks for that glowing declaration of love Peter." Brady says sarcastically.
"Peter, remember when you caught us girls at the docks with cigarettes? The punishment was to bake a cake from scratch. The Frankenstein of cakes." Juliet says, laughing so hard her face starts to turn red.
"Yeah. Hannah's birthday cake that will live in infamy." Peter says, laughing almost as hard.
"That was before my time. But to this day, it's still told around the campfire." Sophie says.
"Isn't JJ, Daisy and Shawn supposed to be here by now?" Emily asks, with concern.
"Yeah. I'll go check on them." Reid says, leaving the room and headed to JJ and Daisy's room. Once he get there, he knocks gently. "Hello? JJ, Daisy?"
The door opens and Shawn's there to answer it. "Hey Spencer. Are you guys ready?"
"The girls are just finishing up. Are Daisy and JJ almost ready? Spencer asks.
"There was a little snag. The mirror accidentally got broke. JJ was cut a little. Daisy's tending to her. So we'll be there shortly. Hold on," Shawn walks over near the bathroom door, "Daisy, if you don't need me anymore, I'm going with Spencer to the conference room. Is there anything else you need?" Before Daisy could answer, Spencer answers for her.
"You go ahead and do what you need to. I'll stay in case she needs anything."
"Okay. Make sure you let me know if JJ needs anything. I still have to shower and get ready. I have a special surprise for Jen." Shawn says, leaving excitedly from the room. Spencer just watches.
"Shawn, can you hand me the cloths that are on the bed by the window?" Daisy asks. Spencer grabs them gently, not to wrinkle them and get to the open door. He hands them over.
"Here." He says, with his eyes closed.
"Shawn?"
"No. It's Spencer. I was sent to see what was taking you and JJ so long. Shawn had to leave. He had to shower and change. I hope you don't mind being stuck with me." Reid says, hoping Daisy gives him something at indicates that she likes him.
"I don't mind. Thanks for the Daisy's by the way. I love daisies. Let me finish up in here and I'll come out and we can have a nice conversation." Daisy says, then goes quiet. Spencer sits on the closet bed and just looks around.
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In the bathroom, Daisy dries off JJ and tries to dress her in her dry cloths. Of course, JJ helps very little. She's not talking. She just stares and sits. Daisy knows mores going on than anyone thought. Daisy's at a loss at how to help her.
"JJ, what happened in that house when you were alone with Josh and Walt?" Daisy asks, not really expecting a response.
"I was on the same bed that my dead Jess was on. Josh laid me down on my back. He…" JJ starts to trail off.
"Jen, are you saying that Josh raped you?" Daisy asks calmly. JJ just sits there quietly. Daisy finishes getting JJ ready. She helps JJ out to one of the beds.
"Do you need some help?" Spencer asks, standing up ready to help.
"Can you watch her while I change real quickly?" Daisy asks, making JJ set down next to Spencer.
"Sure. What happened?"
"She accidentally broke the bathroom mirror and cut her feet and arm. Could you put her shoes on? She's having a problem. I can't figure it out. I thought one of the others could maybe figure it out. I'm used to working with children," Daisy says, moving around the room. She's grabbing her cloths and toiletries. "I'll be out in just a few minutes. Then we can go." Daisy says, disappearing behind the closed bathroom door.
"JJ, how ya doing?" Reid asks. He didn't expect a response.
"I got flowers." JJ says, almost too quiet to hear.
"Roses?" Reid asks, knowing they were.
"Yeah. From Shawn." JJ says.
"So, what'd the card say? I mean if it's not too personal."
"He wants to go out for dinner." JJ says, finally looking over at Spencer.
"Are you going to go?"
"I would feel better not being alone with him. Do you think you and Daisy could join us?" JJ asks, starting to get back to her normal volume.
"I'll talk it over with Daisy. I don't mind. Are you sure you're okay to go to the conference room? Daisy says you had an episode. Maybe you should stay and rest. You've been through a lot." Spencer says, rubbing JJ's back.
"No rest! I need to get back to normal."
"Has Hotch told you that you need to go to the morgue and see the bodies. Jess' husband would like to meet you. Then he will accompany you to see her." Reid says gently.
"Her husband's here already?" JJ starts to silently cry.
"Yes. Him and his son."
"Oh! My little nephew!" JJ stands up, limps to the door and exits.
"Wait JJ!" Reid yells, trying to stop her. JJ just walks down the hall listening for a small child's voice.
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Back in the room, Reid knocks on the bathroom door. "Daisy, JJ's run off after little Scott. Should I follow her?"
"Yes, I'll be out and will help locate her." Daisy says, rushing to finish. Reid heads out.
JJ stops in the middle of the hall and listens. Shawn's coming out of his room and sees JJ just standing there with her eyes closed.
"JJ, are you okay? Why are you standing here?" Shawn asks, placing a gentle hand on her back.
"I'm listening for my young nephew's voice. I've never seen him. I need to see him. Jess would want me to at least meet him. I can't believe she's gone." JJ says, opening her eyes.
"I'm sure she would love you to meet her proud little man." Shawn says, trying to comfort JJ.
"I remember my mom bringing her home and I was so determined to take care of her. She was more like my baby than moms. Jess needed me. How could I have let her down twice?" JJ says, then she quickly moves away from Shawn. Her attitude changes just as quickly as her body. "come on, we have to get to the conference room. Hotch's probably mad that we're late." JJ says taking off. Shawn rushes to catch up.
"JJ, did you like the flowers?"
"Yes, thank you. Daisy and Reid would like to join us if you don't mind." JJ says, stepping on the elevator.
"No problem. Do you like Chinese?"
"Yeah, but let's check with Reid and Daisy. Do you know what this thing is in the conference room?" JJ asks.
"Don't know." Shawn says as they get off the elevator on the first floor. He smiles as they head to the conference room. Shawn opens the door and lets JJ go in first. People from every directs jump out and yells "Surprise!"
Of course this freaks JJ out and she bolts out of the room, back into the hall. She's breathing very fast. Shawn rushes after her.
"Jen, are you okay?"
"NO! What's going on?" Jen asks, confused.
"It's a happy birthday/welcome home from the hospital party. We were only trying to have some fun with you. Your old friends wanted to celebrate you not being in witness protection. What did we do that was so wrong?"
"First of all, don't jump out at someone who was a hostage! Second, my sister that I haven't seen in over ten years dies before I can see how she turned out! None of you can ever imagine what I've been through!" JJ yells and exit's the hotel. Shawn lets her go thinking she needs some time to think. So he walks back into the conference room.
"May I have your attention? JJ needed some time alone. So I guess just start eating. Just don't touch the cake. Enjoy yourselves. That's all." Shawn says, disappointed. He thought this would be a good think to do for her. Scott comes over to Shawn.
"How's she doing?"
"Not good. I don't know if you or I should take her over to the morgue and have her say goodbye to her sister. I caught her listening for her nephew. She's grasping at straws. We need to help her realize that she's not responsible for Jess' death. She sure can hold on to guilt like a sponge holds water. Do you want to go ask her about going to see Jess?"
"Sure. It's worth a try. She might trust me a little more. She and I used to date." Scott says, patting Shawn's shoulder and then leaving the room.
Outside, JJ's sitting on the curb. She's just watching things going on around her. She hears the foot steps and assumes it's Shawn.
"Shawn, I just need to be alone. I'll be in soon. I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I don't know what I'm doing anymore." JJ doesn't even look back to see if she was talking to Shawn.
"Shelby, sorry. JJ, please talk to me. Tell me what's eating you up. Walt and Josh are dead. They can't hurt anyone anymore."
"Scott, they killed Jess! I didn't get to see her for ten years! I don't know what happened in that house. I don't know if I killed them. I'm so confused and scared. The last time I really felt this way was when I found out he had been hurting Jess too. I REALLY wanted to kill Walt then. This time he killed her. What makes me believe that I had to have done these murders." JJ sobs as she's relaying this to Scott. Scott sits down next to JJ and just lets her cry for a moment.
"JJ, you are a FBI agent. They could've tried to hurt you again. It could've been self defense. They were murderers. They were not angels by any means. You just need to let things settle and then come to terms with everything that's gone down. You're just one person. You take on the world and then get angry if something doesn't go right. You need to stop and take stock in what's going right. YOU are alive. Jess wouldn't want you to live as if you should've died. She would want you to watch her son grow and tell her all about the funny things she did as she grew up. How you used to care for her like a mother would. How her giggles used to make you laugh. All the love you and her felt for each other. How her hair fell into her face and how she used to smell of cinnamon rolls. How well she did in school and all the friends she had. The things in life that really mattered and the things his father doesn't know. How about I take you to say goodbye to Jess and then I can introduce you to her family?" Scott says, wiping away the tears that were coating JJ's cold cheeks.
"Scott, I don't think I can say goodbye. It breaks my heart to think her son had to grow up without her. Will this guilt pass? Not just about her being hurt by Walt, but me not being there for her then and now? I never seem to be in the right place at the right time." JJ says, wiping the fresh tears.
"JJ, you are where you're supposed to be. There are no accidents. There's always a deeper reason that something happens. Come on!" Scott says, pulling JJ to her feet. Scott pulls JJ into a hug. JJ feels like she's just gone home. Not a house she grew up in, but the one place you feel you belong. "Come on Shel, sorry, JJ. I'll take you to the morgue." Scott walks JJ over to the rental car that's shared with a few others.
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The ride over to the morgue was a little awkward. JJ was nervous and reluctant to see a dead Jess. But she was more than willing to see Walt and Josh dead.
"Scott, how long did it take you to get over me?" JJ watches as Scott thinks about that loaded question. Moments later, a smile crosses his face.
"Shel, I've never gotten over you. Sure, I got over the loss, but you will always be a part of me. You were the real first girlfriend I had. You helped me face my demons. You loved me, faults and all. You made me feel good about myself. No drugs or sex involved. I still believe we are soul mates. Just not romantic soul mates. No one has ever understood me the way you did and do. Not even my incredibly wonderful wife. She knows of my past. But to answer your question a little better. I couldn't even look at another person until my sophomore year of college. I dated one lady before my wife. We're still friends to this day. She came to my wedding. She baby sit's Shelby every so often." Scott says, smiling and every so often turning his head to look at JJ, but not too long.
"WOW! How's your mom and dad doing?" JJ asks, smiling.
"Mom and Dad are good. They are actually back together. They can't be happier."
"Have you heard what happened to Elaine?" JJ asks, smirking.
"No, not since she ran off with the attorney." Scott says, not smiling anymore.
"I have some news. She was murdered. She pulled the same thing she did with you. But she took it farther. She beat the boy. He shot her. The judge went easy on him because of the abuse. In a couple of years, he's a free man. The judge said 'self-defense slash post-traumatic stress disorder.' At age 21, he's going to be released from the psychiatric facility. I usually go to visit him once a year. He's a lot like you. Well, the you back then. His name is John Harvey." JJ says, looking out the window of the traveling car. She sees the building marked medical building and her stomach clenches up.
"That's very nice of you to look after him. It sounds weird, but I'm glad she's dead so she can't hurt anyone else." Scott realizes that she didn't hear a word. She stretches out his slightly larger hand to grab her in support. It startles JJ and she quickly pulls her hand away.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude. I know you're trying to be sweet guy you are, but I'm pretty tense and a little scared." She starts to lose control of her emotions. As Scott pulls into the parking spot and goes to get out says, "Shel, it's going to take time. You don't need to apologize," JJ doesn't move to get out. She just sits there. So Scott walks around the unfamiliar rental car. He opens her door and holds out a hand. "Come on. You're not alone. We can do this together." JJ looks at him and grabs his hand. She exit's the car and holds onto his hand like it's a life-saver. Scott and JJ walk to the front desk of the morgue.
"Can I help you folks?" A short, dark haired young lady asks.
"Yes, we are here to view three bodies that were brought in earlier today. Two men and a young lady." Scott says. JJ, who still has a death grip on his hand, looks down the hall towards the viewing rooms. It was like she could sense Jess' body down that way.
"Sure, sir. Let me get you Doctor Cavanaugh. Also Ms. Libowski," The girl dials Jordan's office number first. "Doctor Cavanaugh, we have a viewing." She pauses to listen on the other end of the call. "Ok. Thank you." She hangs up and dials Lily Libowski's line. "Yes, Lily. We have a viewing." She pauses, the same as before. "Ok. Thank you." The young lady says into the phone. "They'll be out in just a moment. There are a few chairs over there if you'd like to sit while you wait." Then she goes back to some paper work.
Scott can tell JJ's a little numb and decides to try to get her to sit down. "Shel, let's sit." JJ's like a robot. More like on auto-pilot. A few moments later a tall, dark haired lady and a shorter, lighter haired lady come to a stop in front of Scott and JJ.
"You are here for the viewing?" Jordan asks, more at Scott.
"Yes. Her sister, Jess. Oh, sorry. It might be Ashley Bowen. Then the two men. Walt and Josh." Scott says, standing. He helps JJ stand too.
"Ok, the rules are, we can't leave her alone with the men. I was told she's a suspect until proven otherwise. Follow us." Jordan and Lily direct them to the crypt. "We'll start with the men. Then she can have as much time with her sister as she would like." Jordan says and opens the swinging door into the crypt.
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Sorry for the long awaited update. I had writers block and It took a few people on this site to get me through the block. I have to thank IrigD and Tonnie2001969. They both have givien me the confidence and insperation to get through the writers block. Now I have a couple chapters that will be updated in the next few days. I hope you all still like the story and please review and tell me where you'd like to see the direction the characters go in. Thanks again to all.