Her Past Catches Up With Her

I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan. Not intended for younger readers.

Chapter 22

While Emily's on the phone with Daisy, Gideon enters the room where JJ's nervously pacing and mumbling.

"Shelby, may I speak with you?" Gideon asks, playing into JJ's delusions.

"Peter, I don't have anymore cigarettes. If you're here to talk about my attitude, I really don't want to talk about." JJ says, very snotty. Gideon's thinking that this must be a teenage Shelby.

"Shelby, I don't need to talk about your attitude. Although, I'd like to talk to you about what you're feeling right now." Gideon says calmly.

"Oh, come on Peter! You know I don't do the whole lovey-dovey feelings thing! I don't do it for the one-on-one!" JJ screams and starts to head out of the room. So Gideon has to think fast.

"Shelby Ann Merrick! Sit down now!" Gideon uses the father voice. This makes JJ sit in the closet chair. "Thank you." Gideon says and pulls a chair up next to JJ. "Sorry if I scared you." He says gently.

"What do you want?" JJ asks softly.

"I need you to tell me the date. And where you are. I know it's weird, but just humor me." Gideon says, reaching for a pen and pad of paper to writer her answers down.

"Well, it's June 15th 1998." JJ says, looking confused.

"Thank you. Now, where are you?" He asks, then waits.

"Mt. Horizon Schools, Hope Springs, Colorado. Peter, are you ok? You're worrying me." JJ says, leaning over towards him to whisper the last part. She didn't want people to hear her talk about possibly caring for someone's well-being.

"I'm fine. How's Jess?" Gideon asks.

"She's fine. Roger says that her group's doing fine. She's down to a nightmare once or twice a week now. I hope Walt dies in prison. I know, we have to let go of the anger. I have for what he did to me. But the new anger I have is for what he did to Jess. He promised me!" JJ's face gets red and tear escape her eyes.

"What promise was that?"

"That if I didn't tell, he wouldn't touch Jess. I found out when she was an 8th grader. My god! She was a baby! I still can't understand why someone would do that to a baby!" JJ's appearance changes drastically. "Peter, who's the new admit?" She looks Gideon in the eye. Gideon just assumes and hope he's right.

"Josh. Not sure of his last name." JJ interrupts before Gideon can continue.

"Beachman?" JJ asks, fear growing in her voice. Gideon goes with it.

"I think so. Do you know him?"

"Yes. I need to go to my dorm." JJ gets up. And tries to leave.

"Shelby Ann, sit!" Gideon says, hoping it works again.

"Peter! You can't let Josh be admitted! Please, he's beyond your help." Gideon could see the fear in JJ's eyes.

"Shelby, tell me what you know about Josh." Gideon sits, ready to write the personal info JJ has on Josh.

"I met him when I was on the streets. He was rich. He was also very rough. Not like the other Johns I dealt with." Gideon's shocked, but says nothing. "He hurt me a few times. Remember that scar I have that was documented in my admit papers? Well, that was done by Josh. The cigarette lighter from his BMW. That's not even the worst hurt. I'm not going into it, but the females here are not safe. I'm not talking students! Sophie and the other female staff!" Gideon can see JJ shaking and the urgency in her body language. Gideon doesn't know what to say to this poor girl.

"Let's give him a little time and see how it goes. We won't let him be alone with ANY female. Does that sound fair?"

"I guess. I need to go lay down. I need a nap." JJ gets up and walks over to the bed that's a few feet away from where they were just sitting. As soon as her head hit's the pillow, she's out. Gideon gets up and walks back to the other's that were outside the room. Once in front of Hotch, Gideon gives him his take on what's going on.

"Hotch, she's regressed. It was probably the stress of seeing her sister dead. Too much stress and the mind can break. She thinks it's June 15th 1998. The way she says it, Josh's first day at Mt. Horizon. She warned Peter. This asshole burned JJ with a BMW car lighter. She said that wasn't the worst. We have to get those people here. But she might wake up as JJ." Before Gideon could continue, they all here JJ scream.

"NO! STOP! GET OFF!" JJ's tangled in the bedspread. Emily rushes in to try to help.

"Hey, hey! Wake up, hun!" Emily trying to wake her. When her eyes open, JJ pulls her into a hug.

"Das, oh god! I'm glad you all got here!" Emily feels JJ's body is tense.

"Are you ok?" Emily asks, not sure what JJ just experienced.

"I need to tell you when we can be alone. Just please don't leave me." JJ says, hugging her again.

"What do you need to tell me Shelby?" Emily listens carefully.

"I told Peter that Josh didn't rape me. But he did. You guys didn't make it in time. Just don't tell anyone else. I tried to fight him. He just tried to strangle me. Scott would kill him if he finds out. I was taken away before I found out that I was pregnant. So after I had her I gave her to Peter and Sophie. I couldn't raise her and Peter and Sophie wanted a baby. I didn't even look at her before they took her. If I would have, I wouldn't have been able to give her up." JJ's crying and looking at Emily for reassurance. Emily's silently crying too. She knew about her having a baby, but now she knows how hard it was for her.

"You did what you had to do. You gave Peter and Sophie a baby. You are the most brave and strong woman I know." Emily grabs her into a hug again.

"So you don't think I'm a horrible person?" JJ asks.

"No. I don't believe that. You did what you had to do to keep your daughter safe and gave your friends a baby. She's safe with them." Emily's at a loss for words.

The others hear car doors slam. So Hotch sends Morgan down to get them to come up slowly and quietly. The first people Morgan sees in Peter and Sophie.

"Agent Morgan, what's going on?" Peter asking, confused.

"JJ's regressed to the time she was with you at the school. Gideon says that the shock of seeing Jess dead made her snap into a regression. She saw me as a boy named Ezra. Does that name ring a bell?" Morgan asks, studying the couple.

"Yeah. Ezra Friedkin was a cliffhanger. He's dead now. But he used to idolize her. Of course that was before Daisy came along." Peter says, smiling at the memories.

"She sees Emily as Daisy. And Gideon as you sir. Gideon was able to get her to give a date to which she's reliving. June 15th 1998. I believe that would've been the day Josh was admitted into the school. She sure was a firecracker then, wasn't she?" Morgan asks, shocked at what JJ was like as a kid.

"Yes. She was moody and fought us on everything. But she never tried to run away. I wouldn't have traded her for anything in this world. She really felt like a daughter to us. We all felt like a family. We had our good times as well as our bad." Sophie says, she's upset and Peter has an arm wrapped around her to comfort her some.

"That's really nice. Now we need Peter, Sophie, Daisy and Scott to all come with me. Reid, you keep everyone else down here." Morgan says, motioning for the four he named to follow him.

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Hotch and Gideon are talking.

"If we allow her to continue this way, she might remember what happened here. But then again, she might never remember because of the GHB. It's your call Hotch." Gideon says, giving Hotch the options. Before Hotch could give a decision, Morgan and the others enter the hallway.

"How's she doing?" Daisy asks, in psychiatrist mode.

"Well, she's talking to you right now. We can't hear it all, but she trusts you with her life." Gideon says.

"We told each other everything back then. I should have told you all that she had a meltdown earlier. She broke a mirror. She told me something, but I don't want to say it for everyone to hear. May I speak to you alone Agent Gideon?" Daisy asks.

"Sure, follow me." Gideon takes her to a room at the other end of the hall. "Ok, what is it?"

"She mentioned she gave birth to a baby. Josh was the dad. He raped her at Horizon. She was gone and alone before anyone would know. I don't know whatever came of the baby. But she said she had told me before. So, I can only assume that she had an episode and talked to your Agent Prentiss, thinking it was me." Daisy concluded.

"Thank you for your condor. If you need to speak to me again, alone, just say 'sidebar'. Then we'll meet back here. That poor girl has been through hell and back." Gideon says, rubbing his hand over his face.

"She turned out to be an incredible lady and I'd say that has to do with her current 'family'. I can really see that you and your team care a great deal about her. Thank you for keeping her happy and safe as long as you have. She always said she didn't need anyone to take care of her. She was quite the loner then. But it seems she's out grown that. Let's just hope she stays that way. Let's try to save and fix out girl." Daisy says and walks back to the crowd.

"What's happened while we were away?" Gideon asks, once back next to Hotch.

"They've just been giggling. Let's try to get Prentiss out of there." Hotch says. "Prentiss!" Just loud enough to get her attention.

"Shel, I'll be right back." Emily says, climbing of the bed and out of the room. "Yes sir?"

"Gideon, take Prentiss to the other room. Get her information. Scott, I think we'll send you in. Just make sure you talk about things that you did back then. We don't want to stick in new information. It could harm her more." Hotch says, running out of ideas to help her.

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In the other room, Gideon and Emily are debriefing.

"Emily, did JJ mention a baby?"

"Yes. She told me about a baby when she had that mini-meltdown at the BPD. She said that he DID rape her and she was alone when she gave birth. The nurse was sweet to her. That was how she came up with Jennifer as her new name. She said it was a baby girl. At first, she wouldn't admit to the rape. I had to separate JJ and Shelby. Once I asked her if Shelby got raped, she spilled about the baby. She said she gave it to Peter and Sophie to adopt." Emily says.

"So what were you two giggling about?" Gideon asks, smiling.

"I could see JJ and I being friends as teens. She was talking about Scott. About how he was different than any other guys that had a thing for. How he made her feel special and like she was the only person in the room. Then she talked about his kisses. She's said he was a bit cruel when he found out about her having to hook herself to survive on the streets. Bt he got it after a while. I sure as hell would have dated someone like Scott as a teen." Emily chuckles, but stops when she notices that Gideon wasn't chuckling.

"So she gave you nothing else helpful?" Gideon asks.

"No. Sorry." Emily says and walks back to the group.

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When they both get back, they see Scott and JJ dancing.

"We all thought that Scott and Shelby would marry. They probably would have if it wouldn't have been for Josh and Walt." Sophie says. Smiling at the two of her favorite ex-students.

All of a sudden, JJ grabs her side and falls to her knees. She's clearly in pain.

"Shel, what's wrong?" Scott asks, kneeling beside her, unsure about what to do.

"Ahhh! I think it's coming!" JJ says, looking like she was about to give birth.

"Shelby! What's about to come?" Scott asks, freaking out.

"Oh god! It hurts! Ahhh!" JJ lays back and gets into the position to deliver the phantom baby.

"Shelby, who's baby is it?" Scott asks, scared for her.

"Josh! From the bathroom attack! Ahhh!" JJ's face is red. Scott and the others are in shock.

"But you said Josh didn't rape you." Scott's in the position that a loving father would be in.

"He did! You guys didn't get there in time! Oh god! Here it comes!" JJ acts out the last push before JJ becomes a mom. "She's healthy! I can't see her!" Tears slide down her cheeks.

"Why honey?" This is ripping Scott's heart out.

"If I see her, then I can't give her away! She needs them as much as they need her!"

"Who are you talking about Shel?" Scott asks, wiping both their tears.

"Peter and Sophie. She's theirs now. I don't want to think about her anymore. Or all the nights of her kicking kept me awake. I sent all the sonograms with her. I started a baby book. A little pink book with a satin ribbon. I feel so empty, Scott. I did the right thing, right?" JJ asks, leaning against Scott. He wraps her in his arms.

"Yes honey, I think you did the right thing. You are so wonderful and brave." Scott smoothes JJ's hair with his hand as he starts rocking her. Peter and Sophie are just beside themselves. They always thought of Shelby when they looked at their daughter. Now they know why. All the rocking has JJ drifting off to sleep. Scott picks her up and places her gently into the bed. He walks out of the room. "WOW! She went through all that alone. I'm stunned!" Scott says and sits on one of the steps.

"Oh my god! She gave us the most precious gift! I had always wondered who sent us that beautiful baby. I knew the mother was special. She gave us everything. Baby book that was started, cloths, crib, car seat, bottles and everything to get us started. She even sent a typed letter to us and one for her. JJ needs to meet her and see that we have taken good care of OUR little girl." Sophie says through tears.

While they are trying to grasp this bit of news, JJ's rolling a little as she sleeps. But rolls right off the bed and slams onto the floor with a loud thump.

"Ahhh! Damn it! I really have to stop DOING that!" JJ says, getting up off the floor. She looks at the bed and then around the room. "Where the hell am I?" JJ rubs her butt and tries to find something familiar. She sees Gideon just outside the door. "Gideon? Gideon, where are we?" JJ walks to the door to meet him.

"JJ?" He asks, making sure she was JJ and not her alter-ego, Shelby.

"Yes, Gid. What's going on?" Then she sees everyone. Her eyes get big as saucers. "Oh my god! Peter! Sophie! Scott! Daisy! What are you doing here?" JJ asks, looking between them all. No one says anything. JJ begins to panic. "I'm not liking the feeling I'm getting here! I should be happy! If you are all here, then…" JJ's mind is racing to try to get all the info to catch up. Hotch comes over and grabs her shoulders.

"Jennifer, you're no longer in the witness protection. Why don't we go back to the hotel and sort this all out?"

"If all my old family is here, where is Jess? I want to see Jess, Hotch." JJ says, trying to break lose of Hotch grips.

"Come on. Let's go to the hotel." Hotch says, thinking the hospital is probably the better bet. She needs to be sedated.

"Please, Hotch. I'll do whatever you want. Just let me see my baby sister first." JJ asks, a single tear meanders down her cheek.

"We can't do that right now. As soon as we can get her here, then you can. Let's have you checked out at the hospital first." Hotch says, walking her out of the house, with everyone in tow.

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At the hospital, they took a look at her finger. Then they set up tests for head injuries that could cause JJ to hallucinate. If the tests came back negative for that, then they were going to hold her for 72 hours. Let her get the rest her mind and body needed.

When she's in her room alone after having the MRI test, John comes in with Scott Jr. "JJ, this is your nephew, Scott. Scottie, this is mommy's sister, Aunt Jennifer." John says, placing the small four year old on the bed next to JJ.

"Hello, Scott. It's nice to finally meet you." JJ says, shaking his tiny hand. She didn't want to hug him and risk scaring him.

"Hi ant Jennelfer." Scottie says, in the little boy voice and slur.

"Scott, it's Jennifer. Say it for my buddy." John says.

"NO! I mean, just call me JJ." JJ says to them both.

"Ok, can you call her Aunt JJ?" John asks.

"Ant JJ. That easier." Scott says and falls into JJ's arms. JJ hugs him. She's still shocked at his open affection toward a stranger.

"Thank you for the hug Scott. You're such a big boy. I bet you're daddy's really proud of you." JJ says, smiling at the two males in front of her.

"Mommy too?" Scott asks, looking for an answer.

"I'm sure she…IS" JJ's voice and eyes sadden.

"Hey buddy, let's let Aunt JJ rest and we'll come back to visit her soon. I need to talk to her for just a minute and then we can go back to the hotel for a swim." John says, walking one excited little boy out to the hall to Penelope. Then comes back into JJ's room. "Sorry, may we talk for a moment?"

"Sure. Thank you for the introduction. He sure looks like Jess when she was that age." JJ smiles at the memory.

"Actually, that's what we need to talk about." John says, with an ominous tone.

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