Her Past Catches Up With Her

I don't own Criminal Minds, Higher Ground or Crossing Jordan.

Chapter 27

A month and a half later, all the funerals, reports and cases have past, everything seemed to be getting back to normal. Or as normal as possible. JJ was almost completely healed from the bruises and stab wound. She was going to a counselor once a week. When she first got home, it was three times a week. Then down to two times a week. The counselor thought she was doing so well that once a week seemed to do the trick.

JJ and Shawn began seeing each other. But Shawn still has yet to tell JJ his true heartfelt feelings. They make a point to go out twice on weeknights and spend the weekend together. As long as neither of them had a case. Which had seen slow the last few weeks. But no one was complaining.

JJ was having a hard tie at her house. It was hard to know that Josh and Walt had been there touching her things. It made her sick to her stomach to think about Martha's last breath. In fact, being around either house was literally making her sick. But she didn't want to sell the houses. She had some wonderful memories of her and Martha in both houses. So she would spend ninety percent of her alone time in her office. Sure, she was ok in her house when Shawn stayed over. It was more of an alone thing. She loved going over to his apartment. They would switch places every other weekend.

Sure, they've kissed a LOT. Maybe a stray feel here or there, but they'd never had sex. Shawn never asked and JJ never asked. They both felt they were getting to know each other. She'd caught him starring one time, at her. She could see something that made her believe in anyone. She could see the possibility of her dream to come true. The one dream she had back in Boston. And the same dream she's been having almost every night since then. Sure, she had the stray nightmare and sometimes the lovely dream would turn into a nightmare.

The funerals were particular hard on JJ. Putting her baby sister in the ground and the lady that had been Mother, Sister and friend in the ground as well. It's taken it's toll on her. It was almost to much for JJ to see Alice, her biological mother again after so many years. To deal with Alice's dramatic scene at Jess' funeral had actually got her a nice shot of sedative. That was one of the hospital doctor's conditions if she was to be discharged.

JJ had made a promise to go back to Michigan for a longer and happier visit in a couple of months when she had vacation time coming. She really wanted to spend a little more time visiting her sister newer life. Get to know who her sister had become. As well as getting to know her new nephew and brother-in-law.

Everyone could see JJ was still dragging from the physical and emotional trauma of what went down. Hotch knew more than anyone else. The medical examiner had decided to keep the double rape of JJ a little secret. Nigel as well. Everyone thought that JJ was seeing the counselor for the loss of her sister and Martha. She just never gave them the drawn out explanation. She figured it was bad enough for Hotch to know. Besides, she didn't remember the rapes anyway. So it was almost like they never happened.

She had made arrangements with Sophie and Peter about coming out once a month on the weekend to visit. Sporadically seeing all her old friends. They have all made a pact to call each other once a week. JJ was feeling so loved and so supported by all her new and old friends. Plus, JJ's been seeing Daisy more often. Reid and Daisy had started dating. Daisy was actually considering moving her practice and herself to Virginia. Daisy was all alone, except for the random trips to visit her Horizon family. After he fiancé passed, she didn't socialize with their friends anymore. So it made the best sense. JJ was thrilled.

Hotch and Emily had come out in the open about their relationship. Not much of a shock to the BAU team. Not a good reaction from Erin Strauss, section director. But Hotch had a document that could have Strauss booted from the FBI completely. So, she had to give her blessings. It was unlike Aaron Hotchner to use ANY type of blackmail, but he really loved one Emily Prentiss. He was determined to get what he wanted.

The team had only gone on two cases since JJ had been released to come back to work. The first one was a serial killer. A raging son, killing disabled parents that the adult children were taking care of. This guy was all over Florida's east coast.

The second one that they'd just come back from was a kidnapping of two sets of twin teen girls. The middle aged man would rape one while making the other watch and visa versa. Then, when he got tired of the first set, he took the second set. Did the same. Luckily he didn't kill any of them. But those young ladies had wished he had.

It had brought up some feelings of her and Jess. But she felt she handled the feelings like a pro. That was until the first night they got back. Every time she would close her eyes, she'd see a dead Jess and hear the muffled arguing Of Josh and Walt. That was the first time JJ started to get little memories of going into that house. Sure, in the eyes of the law, Walt was murdered by Josh and in turn, Josh was killed in self defense. But JJ still has yet to fully gain her memory of what really happened.

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Late evening, at JJ's house, Shawn and JJ were sitting on her sofa, wine glasses in hand. Shawn sitting back against the arm of the sofa, holding him up. JJ was nestled between Shawn's legs, back leaning against his chest and stomach. There was a nice warm, crackling fire going in her fireplace. Shawn had his free arm draped over JJ's midsection. Her free arm atop his. She's felt so safe and comfortable like this. She loved to listening to Shawn breathe and his heartbeat. JJ was so relaxed. More then she had been in a long time. Out of the blue, Shawn speaks. This startles a relaxed JJ.

"JJ, why don't we put the wine glasses down. Just in case we happen to fall asleep." Shawn says, pushing JJ forward and taking her wine glass. He sets them on the coffee table in front of them. Then he leans back, bring JJ back with him. He wraps both arms around JJ. She brings her arms up and places them on his to rest. They both fell asleep. JJ could tell he was drifting into a deep sleep by the slow, long breaths he was taking. So she felt it was safe to drift off herself.

They had both had a long week. He had just returned from being on a case. He always seemed to cuddle and was a little more protective of her after his cases. But she didn't mind. JJ started to hear something. It sounded like someone was trying to jimmy the lock to the front door. She sits up and turns to wake Shawn. She couldn't get him to wake up. So she gets up off the couch and goes to the safety drawer to open all the way. That's when she hears the front door gives way. JJ's heart begins to race. Before she can even make a defensive move, the intruder, who's face's hidden by a black ski mask, comes at her. He's on top of her, holding her arms down. She tries to get away, but the more she fights, the more he holds her. She screams, "Shawn! Shawn, help!" But he doesn't even stir. Then from no where she hears glass break. Her and the intruder turns to look, but JJ quickly turns her attention back to the intruder and rips his mask off to reveal the intruder as Josh. JJ just screams.

Next thing JJ knows, she's being shaken awake. When her eyes open, she sees a worried Shawn looking over at JJ. "Shawn, what's going on?" JJ asks, confused.

"JJ, you were having a nightmare. Baby, this one was so bad. You knocked the wine glasses over. Your cut your wrist. You might need stitches. We need to get you to the hospital. Hold this on your wrist. I'm going to get your shoes and our coats." Shawn gets up and quickly rushes to get shoes and coats. JJ's still confused and shaking. She moves the towel to get a better look at how bad the cut was. When she sees the blood rushing out of her body, JJ starts to feel the life force drain from her face. Before she passes out, she sees Shawn approach her and then everything goes black.

Shawn freaks out. He'd put his coat on as he was getting back to JJ. When he sees her pass out, Shawn decides it's too urgent to take the time to put on her shoes and coat. So he picks JJ up into his arms. She's lighter than he thought. He grabs the shoes in the hand that's holding her back. He throws the coat over her chest area to give her some cover fro the cool night. He rushes her out to his car, puts her in the passenger seat, buckles her in and then rushes to get into the drives side of the car.

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About ten to fifteen minutes later, Shawn pulls up to the ER entrance. JJ had come to and then seen the blood and passed out. Shawn believes it's more due to blood loss then actually seeing the blood.

He quickly runs her into the ER and yells for help. "Sir, take her in there." The nurse points to the closet, empty exam rooms. When Shawn gently lays JJ down an the gurney, she moans a little and moves her head a bit too.

"JJ, we're at the hospital. You're going to be ok. I'm right here sweetheart. We'll get you fixed right up and get home. We'll sit in front of the fire and we'll just relax." Shawn stops what he's saying as soon as the nurse and doctor come in.

"Ok, now what happened here?" The older doctor asks.

"She accidentally got cut by a broken wine glass. I wrapped it and put pressure on it but it wasn't stopping. I got her here as fast as I could." Shawn says, worried about JJ.

"Ok, nurse, we need to order an IV push, a suture and get some blood work. I want all standard blood tests. Let's check blood alcohol too. Let's get a blood IV going too. I'll come back and check on her soon. Good job getting her in here sir." The older doctor pats Shawn on the back and exit's the room. The nurse's getting everything around. Before she leaves, another lady comes in with all the IV and blood drawing kits.

"Hello sir. Wow, what happened here?" She asks, removing the towel enough to look at the cut. But she goes to the non-hurt arm and gets the IV started and gets the blood first, then sets the IV drip.

"She accidentally cut herself on a broken wine glass. Does it really look that bad?" Shawn asks, worried.

"Hi, my name's Abby. Well it looks like it's slowing down a lot. So I think she'll be fine. Is she your sister?" Abby asks.

"No, she's my girlfriend." When it came out of Shawn's mouth, it sounded and feels right. He smiles at this declaration.

"Hey you. What's going on?" JJ asks, squinting into the light.

"Hey baby. Do you remember? You broke the wine glass and cut yourself. But it's ok. They're going to sew you up and send you on your way. We can relax in front of the fire place. How's that sound?" Shawn says, grabbing hold of her hand that has the well taped IV in it.

"That sounds heavenly. I'm sure stitches aren't necessary. I just want to go home." JJ says, swinging her legs over the edge of the gurney. Before she can stand, Shawn and Abby stop her.

"Hey! Stop this right now!" Shawn says, firmly.

"Shawn, I've seen these places too much in the last two months! Please, get me out of here." JJ says, fear in her face.

"Sweetheart, we need to get you stitched up and make sure you didn't hit anything vital. As soon as I can, I'll get you out of here. Do you want me to call anyone? Garcia? Prentiss?" Shawn asks.

"Pen, please. She'll kick my ass if she knew I was here and didn't call her. Can you get me some water too please?" JJ asks.

"We have to ask the doctor first." Abby pipes in.

"I'll ask when I call Pen. I'll be right back." Shawn says, and slips out of the exam room.

"You sure are lucky to have him." Abby says.

"Yes I am. How long will this take? I REALLY hate hospitals." JJ says, jumpy.

"I'll take these back and the doctor will come in to stitch you up. You need to be more careful with the wine glasses." Abby says.

"I know. Thanks for the reminder." JJ says, annoyed by the lady's obvious statement. Abby leaves and JJ sits there alone. It reminds her of the day she gave birth to Annie.

After they took the sweet little bundle of joy, she was totally and completely alone. At least when she had Annie inside her, growing, JJ wasn't alone. Sure she felt alone, support wise, but it was Annie and her against the world. She remembers the mixed feelings. One minute, loving being pregnant. The next, cursing being pregnant. She loved the energy she had. The joy she felt. But she hated it because she knew that the baby was not created in love. That the baby couldn't stay with her. That she would have to go through horrible pain to bring her into the world, then have nothing to show for it.

JJ's thoughts are interrupted by Shawn coming back into the room. Shawn could tell that JJ's mind was spinning. "JJ, what's wrong?" Shawn stands next to JJ and holds her hand while waiting for a response.

"I was just thinking. Nothing important. What did Pen and the doctor say?" JJ asks, giving a fake smile.

"She wanted to come right over. But I told her to wait. I thought maybe she could come over tomorrow to check on you. Did I do the right thing?" Shawn asks, unsure.

"Yes you did. You did very good honey. What did the doc say?" JJ asks.

"I couldn't find him. The nurse said to wait for him." Shawn says, feeling a bit sorry for JJ.

"Now only if that damn doctor would get in here and sew me up. We could get out of here. I can get a drank at home." JJ says, fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Sweetheart, do you want to tell me about the dream you were having?" Shawn asks, sadly.

"No Shawn, I don't want to talk about my dream. I'm sorry, I know it makes YOU feel useful. I didn't like the dream the first time, why would I want to relive it again by telling you? So you can have those images in your head too?" JJ says, in tears.

"I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. I didn't mean to make you upset." Shawn says, pulling her into a hug. Just then, there's a knock at the door. Then the doctor comes in.

"Are you ready to get that stitched up and be on your way?" The doctor asks, getting ready to clean and sew JJ's wrist up.

"Yes. Let's get this done and over with." JJ says, eagerly.

While the doctor numbs the site and sews her up, JJ just looks at Shawn. A few stitches later, the doctor dresses the wound with some gauze and tape. "Now, you'll need to see your regular family doctor to have the stitches taken out. We're going to let you leave, but the blood we took isn't even going to be tested until later tonight, early morning. We will call with any results. I don't want to keep you here when the lab's backed up. So in a few minutes the nurse will come in with discharge papers and prescriptions. Take care young lady. I'll talk to you soon." The doctor says, removing his gloves and washing his hands. Then he leaves.

"Just a little longer and e can go home. I know you don't like hospitals, but I couldn't get the bleeding to slow down. You needed stitches. I've seen enough women with cuts to know it would need stitches." Shawn says, bending down and kissing JJ's forehead.

"I know babe. I'm sorry I've been acting like a spoiled little brat. It's just lately I feel so not in control of my body, life, mind and I hate not having SOME control over something." JJ says, leaning her head down to reduce Shawn's view of JJ's pouting face.

"I know sweetheart. I'm trying to help you get some control and normalcy back in your life. Do you have any ideas that I can do to help in the quest to get more control? I'm not hindering you in any way am I?" Shawn asks, sad at the thought that he could be hurting her more then helping her. JJ looks up in shock.

"NO! Shawn, if anything you have helped me get what control and normalcy I have now. Please, don't ever feel like you are not helping me. You know that your arms have the magic power to make me feel so safe and so comfortable." JJ says, grabbing the closest hand of his and bringing it to her lips and kisses it gently. She closes her eyes and she gently presses her lips to his tender, masculine hand. Shawn cups JJ's cheek with the other hand. Just then, there's a knock at the door. The nurse comes n and gives her the talk of how to care for her wound, what prescriptions she's getting and what it's for. Then last, but not lease, call or come in if something seems wrong. JJ signs the papers and the nurse removes the IV. Then JJ's on her way with Shawn's help.

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AN/ Sorry if the topics kind of get jumbled. I would like to hear what you think. I kind of did this one in a hurry, but please bear with me on any spelling errors and missed ' in, to, the' and so forth. I was hoping to start to get back to another story and try to do two at once and then maybe if I can do it, try all three. We'll have to see and it would help with the encouraging words of the reviews and/or PMs from my loyal and wonderful fans. Thanks again.