Her Past Catches Up With her
I don't own Criminal Minds and Higher Ground.
Chapter 28
On the lengthy ride home, Shawn breaks the silence. "JJ, would you do me a favor?"
"Depends on what it is." JJ answers honestly.
"Will you tell me what your nightmare was about?" Shawn asks, almost in a whisper.
"Why Shawn?" JJ asks, annoyed.
"Because, you just said that you felt safe and comfortable in my arms, but yet this nightmare was so bad that you were fighting against me. If the nightmares are that bad, maybe you should go back to seeing your counselor twice a week. It seems as if I'm not helping you anymore. And before you jump to conclusions, I'm not saying we should stop seeing each other. I just mean that once a week for counseling and me just aren't cutting it. I'm sorry if this statement hurts you, but I have your best interest at heart." Shawn says, feeling bad that he wasn't enough to help her anymore.
"Fine! I give up! I was dreaming that we fell asleep. Just like we had. Then I heard something. I tried to wake you with no luck. I thought it was an intruder. So I tried to get my gun out of the safety drawer. It was stuck. Before I knew it, the intruder had me pinned on the floor. I was able to finally get his mask off and it was Josh!" JJ says, near tears and visibly upset.
"It was Josh. Not Walt?" Shawn asks, sounding like his work tone of voice.
"It was Josh, not Walt. I don't know why. But it still makes my skin crawl at the thought. It's even making me a bit sick to my stomach." JJ says, putting a hand on her stomach. "Shawn, seriously. Pull over. I have to throw up!" JJ says, trying to keep control of her gag reflex. Shawn quickly pulls over to the side of the road. Before the car's even at rest, JJ's door's open and she flies out the door and releases the regurgitation. Shawn puts the car in park and quickly rushes to aide JJ. He holds her hair back and rubs a soothing hand on her back.
After a few minutes and no more throw up feeling, JJ wipes her mouth and leans a very tired body against Shawn's for support. "Do you think your done? Do you think you can make it back to your place?" Shawn says, looking into JJ's eyes with concern.
"I think so. I really would like some ginger ale. Lately it's the only thing that calms my stomach when it's upset. Maybe a nice soak in the tub." JJ says, slowly climbing back into Shawn's car with his help. Shawn was getting a feeling that something else was going on with JJ. He's thinking it's an ulcer. All the stress and trauma causing her stomach discomfort. He thinks the blood tests might be able to catch the problem.
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Once they get home, JJ heads for her bathroom that joins to her bedroom. She grabs a couple antacid tablets and starts her hot, relaxing bath. She gets her bath things around, then comes out quickly to check on Shawn. Also to get her ginger ale. When she gets to the living room, she sees Shawn cleaning up the broken glass and wiping up her dried blood off the table, carpeting and couch. This leaves JJ feeling worse. She should be the one cleaning up after herself.
"Shawn, let me do that." JJ says, walking over to the wine glass and blood spots.
"NO!" Shawn yells quickly and holds a hand up to stop her from getting closer. "I don't want you to risk further injury." Shawn says, then smiles. Shawn was trying to lighten the mood a little, thinking that it might help her ulcer.
"Shawn, why are you so good to me?" JJ asks, out of the blue.
"Why shouldn't I?" Shawn says, looking back at JJ seriously wondering why she thinks so little of herself.
"Because I first of all dragged you into my life's worth of problems. Then cause you nothing but pain." JJ just stands there waiting for a response. Shawn stands there trying to come up with the best answer. Once he gets it, he walks over to stand in front of JJ. Then takes her head in between his hands and pulls her into a very passionate kiss. JJ places her hands on top of his and lets out a few tiny moans. Shawn pulls away. JJ hadn't even opened her eyes and Shawn starts to explain.
"Jennifer Jearau, since the moment I've laid my eyes on your very attractive face and body, I've been falling in love with you. Every time your beautiful blue eyes look into my general direction, I fall a little more. You are beautiful, smart, funny, determined, STUBBORN and everything that I can ask for in a woman that I want to be with. I still have yet to figure out why you think you're so awful. I ach when you're not near me. I would follow you anywhere as long as I was with you. Don't ever question my feelings for you. All you'll get is a LONG lecture on the wonderfulness the is one Jennifer Jearau." Shawn says, and pulls her into a hug.
"You really care about me?" JJ asks, shocked.
"JJ, I love you! You silly woman! Now, go take your bath. I'll set your ginger ale on your nightstand next to your bed. Now go, so I can get this cleaned up and bring you your ginger ale before you get out of the tub." Shawn says, gently but firmly pushing JJ into her bedroom.
"I love you too Shawn." JJ says, and then disappears into her room. Shawn was shocked to hear her say 'I love you' in response to his confession. That wasn't how he wanted to tell her, but he knew she needed to hear that she was desired. Not sexually, but on a deeper level. Sure, he was attracted to her sexually, but he cared so deeply that he'd wait for her to be ready, even if it meant never having sex again. She was well past worth it.
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In her tub, soaking, JJ keeps replaying Shawn's words. She felt a weird warm feeling in her stomach. She thought that it must be what love feels like. She's being careful not to get her wrist wet. The nice hot water lulled JJ into a nice relaxed state. Before she knows it, she hears Shawn outside the bathroom door. Then he knocks on the closed door.
"JJ, sweetheart, are you ok in there? It's been over an hour." Shawn says and waits to get a response.
"I'm fine babe. I'll be out in a few minutes." JJ yells back to the door to make sure Shawn heard her through the door.
"Ok. If you need me, I'll be in the living room." Shawn says and leaves the bedroom. JJ leans over to unplug the tub and stands up reaching for her towel. Drying off and getting dressed, JJ opens the bathroom door to find a PLASTIC cup of ginger ale with a straw on the right side of her bed. JJ smiles and goes to grab her yummy drank. This drank tastes the best to JJ. She's never tasted such good ginger ale. She thinks it has to deal with it being from Shawn. JJ takes her drink and walks back out to the living room. Shawn's sitting on the sofa, reading a medical book.
"What ARE you reading?" JJ asks, grinning.
"I was thinking that you might have an ulcer. So I was reading up on the symptoms and what's good and NOT good for ulcers. I'm afraid after that glass, not more ginger ale. At least until it's confirmed or denied that it's an ulcer. A lot of Mylanta." Shawn says with determination.
"So, when did you go to medical school Doctor Michaels?" JJ asks, teasingly.
"Well, I know all the stress you're been under. All the symptoms fit. My mother had one. She was acting like you. Sorry if I over stepped." Shawn says, closing the book and placing it on the table in front of him. JJ took this as a good sign to go sit with him. She noticed all the blood and glass was picked up. But she and Shawn never went around barefoot. This bringing the point to view.
"No Shawn, you didn't over step. Thank you for caring so much about me." JJ sits next to him and sets the cup down next to the book. She looks at Shawn. They just stare at each other for a few seconds. "Shawn, I'm so lucky that you came into my life." JJ gets closer and leans into kiss him. JJ's hands cup his cheeks for a brief moment, then move behind his head so she could pull him closer and deeper into the kiss.
Not long after the kiss deepened, JJ's house phone rings. JJ was going to let the machine get it. She figured work related calls go to her cell phone. But it was Shawn that reminded her about the hospital and the lab tests. So she answers it. "Hello, Jearau residence."
"May I speak with Ms. Jennifer Jearau?" A deep voiced man asks.
"This is." JJ says, getting a knot in her stomach.
"Ms. Jearau, this is Doctor Goldman. From the ER earlier."
"Yes doctor, I remember who you are. Please, get to the test results. Do I have an ulcer as thought by my friend who was with me?" JJ asks, hoping it was something simple.
"Well Ms. Jearau, your blood work shows you're a little anemic. But other than that, you and the baby are healthy." The doctor says.
"WHAT!" JJ yells, and starts shaking. She's trying to get this to sink into her head. Shawn stands up and goes over to JJ. He places a steady hand on her back to let her know, whatever it was, she wasn't alone.
"Didn't you know that you were pregnant Ms. Jearau?" The doctor asks, absent mindedly.
"NO! I… Thank you doctor." JJ says and hangs up. She didn't want to lose her temper with the old man. She also didn't want Shawn to take the phone out of her hand and find out that way.
"JJ, what is it baby?" Shawn asks, thinking the absolute worst. JJ hadn't told him about the recent rapes. Now she would have to tell Shawn.
"Oh, I need to sit down. Maybe use the bathroom first!" JJ took off to the bathroom, holding a hand over her mouth. Shawn rushes after her.
"JJ, honey. Stay calm." Shawn says, catching up with her and holding her hair, rubbing her back softly. When she felt the sickness pass, she rinses her mouth out, wipes her mouth and walks into her bedroom. She sits down on the edge of her bed with Shawn following her actions.
"Shawn, we have to have a talk. It's not going to be a pleasant talk either." JJ says, scooting herself back until her back was against the head board. She pats the empty mattress next to her to get Shawn to join her. Which he does. "This is hard for me to say. I need to go at my own pace. So please, just listen.
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I hope you liked this shocker. I hope that it's not so unbelievable. I also hope you like the relationship bewteen JJ and Shawn. It's only going to get better from here. But there maybe a few twists along the way. As always, please read and review. I want to thank the few loyal reads and reviewer. But I'm feeling I'm not getting the reviews that I had been before. So I might slow down a little more. I do hope you all understand. If you would like me to keep going and at a faster pace, please make sure you review. Thank you so much.