Her Past Catches Up With Her

I don't own Criminal Minds.

Chapter 29

"Ok Jennifer, I'm listening." Shawn says, putting a hand on hers. JJ can't look at him, so she finds a object to concentrate on over by the TV set.

"That night that I was in that house alone with Walt and Josh, something happened. I still don't remember. Or at least I don't think I do. When I was taken to the ER after you all came in to get me, they ran a rape kit. It came back positive. I soon learned that Walt AND Josh both raped me." JJ's crying at this point. Shawn squeezes JJ's hands. "The M.E had said that Walt was sterile. But he raped Jess before he killed her. After I was drugged, Walt must have raped me. Josh must have caught him and killed him. Then Josh raped me and I must have killed him. They believe he was raping me when I stabbed him. Hotch knew it would be too hard for me to work with everyone if they knew. I actually asked to have it kept quiet. I don't remember either rape, so why have people treat me like a China doll?" JJ sits in silence. Totally forgetting to tell Shawn WHY she had to tell his this.

"Jennifer." Shawn says and shrugs his shoulders.

"Oh! Sorry. I'm anemic and pregnant." JJ says, like it was nothing.

"Oh baby. I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me about the rapes? I do work in the sex crimes unit. Sure I'm angry that they hurt you in that manner, again. But I can handle it. That would explain the nightmares." Shawn says, and then pulls her into a hug.

"I'm sorry Shawn. God, not again!" JJ says, sobbing. She has no idea what else to do.

"Shh! It's going to be ok. Whatever you choose to do, you're not alone. Not this time." Shawn says, squeezing JJ a little tighter to make his point.

"I don't know what to do. I can't hide it this time. Before I was in a small house alone. Just Agent McEnroe knew. But now I have a public type job. The team's going to know. I don't think I could terminate any pregnancy. Why! Why again?" JJ asks, shaking.

"We don't have to come up with the answers now. Come on, lay down and rest. I won't leave you." Shawn says, helping JJ pull back the blankets while she slips her legs between the blankets and mattress. Once JJ's completely under the blankets and starting to relax, Shawn stays on the top of the covers ad snuggles with JJ. Shawn didn't want JJ to feel like he was trying to get something that she wasn't willing to give. He just wanted her to be able to sleep without fear. Having him close was very good for JJ. No long after JJ had fallen deep into dream land, Shawn soon followed.

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Early the next morning when the phone rang, Shawn was the first to wake up. When he woke up, he noticed he was under the covers and JJ was snuggled tightly up against him. Her check pressed against Shawn's side. He was afraid to move. He knew a pregnant JJ needed her sleep. So Shawn slowly and ever so carefully slipped out from under JJ. She just turned over onto her other side and continued to sleep.

Shawn leaves the bedroom and goes to find out who called. He had a feeling it was Garcia. He checks the caller ID. He was correct so he calls her back. He didn't want one frantic Penelope Garcia coming over and upsetting JJ. The phone rings.

"JJ, why didn't you answer your phone sweet cheeks?" Pen asks, sweet yet firm.

"Garcia, it's Shawn. I couldn't make it to the phone in time. JJ needs to rest. When she's up, I'll have her call you." Shawn says, politely

"Ah, Shawn, what are you doing there this early?" Pen asks, protectively.

"I stayed the night. This weekend's her weekend. Can I give JJ a message other than you called?"

"No. I was just calling to see how she's doing. But it sounds like you're taking good care of her. If she needs anything or you for that matter, give me a call." Pen tries grasping the situation. She's now understanding that JJ may have found the man that will come through for her.

"Thanks Penelope. You are a good friend. Jennifer's lucky to have you." Shawn says, matter of fact.

"No, I'm lucky to have her."

"We both are. Thanks for calling. I'll have her call in a while. Bye Penelope."

"Call me and Pen and I'll talk to you later." Pen hangs up, as well as Shawn. As Shawn turns around, he sees a sleepy JJ come out of the bedroom. She's rubbing an eye, like infants do when sleepy. "JJ, what are you doing up? You need to go back to bed hun." Shawn walks over to her.

"I woke up and you were gone. I thought I was having another nightmare." JJ says, wrapping her arms around his midsection. Shawn wraps his arms around her.

"are you feeling ok? Do you need anything? Want some orange juice?" Shawn says, while cleaning to JJ. She had her ear laying on his chest and loved listening to him talk. It tickled her ear, making her giggle. " What baby?" Shawn asks at her giggling.

"You're tickling my ear." JJ says, giggling like a young school girl.

"Would you like something to eat or drink baby?" Shawn asks, concerned about hers and the baby's health. As Shawn mentions food, JJ quickly pulls away and runs to throw up in the bathroom. Shawn quickly follows. Yet again, holding her hair back and rubbing her back. "JJ, I'm sorry if I make you sick!" Shawn says, apologetic. JJ sits on the floor against the wall. Wiping her mouth with a hand towel, JJ closed her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"It's not you Shawn. Just the thought of food," JJ in mid-sentence gets back up on her knees and throws up. Shawn goes to get a wash cloth and gets it wet with nice cold water. He rings it out and folds it a couple times. When JJ sits back against the wall, Shawn places it on her forehead. He holds it there for a few minutes, getting a relief sigh from JJ. Then he removes it and turns it over to place it on the back of her neck. This gets another relief sigh from JJ. She leans her head over onto Shawn's chest. "Thank you Shawn. You've been so wonderful through all this mess. You always seem to know what to do. It's like you were made for me and I was made for you." JJ grabs Shawn's shirt in her hand and pulls on it a little. Shawn takes this as a sign that she wanted him to hold her. So Shawn scoops her up and places her in his lap. He cradles her in his arms, but doesn't rock her because of her upset stomach. JJ loves being in his gentle, but strong safe arms. She could always hear his heart accelerated when she was close. This always makes her heart skip a beat. She was falling deeper in love with Shawn, but she wasn't sure how things would turn out. She was scared about the whole baby thing. This nervousness was only making her morning sickness worse.

"JJ, how do you feel now? Ok, if I pick you up and take you back to bed?" Shawn asks, chin resting on the top of her head.

"Yeah. Just don't shake me too much. I need my trash can next to the bed, just in case. I almost didn't make it last time." JJ says with a sigh.

"Ok, here we go." Shawn says, picking her up and ever so gently moving her to the soft king size bed. He gently lays her down on her side of the bed. "Now, I'm getting you some OJ. Want anything else?" Shawn asks, about to walk out of the room.

"No. Just juice and you." JJ couldn't believe she just said that.

"Ok. You need to call Penelope back too. She called already." Shawn says, leaving the room. JJ froze. What was she going to say to Pen. She could always tell when JJ lied. She just sits there trying to come up with an explanation to everything. Just to be sure not to be caught off guard. Shawn walks back into the room with a big plastic cup of orange juice. He's smiling as he approaches the bed. "What's wrong baby?" Shawn's smile fades.

"I have to come up with something before I call Pen. She's going to know something's up. She can tell when I'm not telling the truth." JJ says, visibly upsetting herself.

"JJ! Calm down. You are a very talented media liaison. You always think quickly on your feet. Now, what do you think she's going to ask about. Other than me. I think I let it slip about our weekends. But I also didn't know that you didn't tell her." Shawn says.

"No. Everyone knows too much about my personal business. I wanted something just mine." JJ says, then takes a big gulp of the orange juice.

"JJ, maybe we should tell everyone that we're seeing each other. I know we just told each other that we love each other, but maybe they'll be happy for you and back off." Shawn says, sitting next to JJ and then takes a comforting hand to rub her back.

"Well, maybe they wouldn't hover so much. I really could use some breathing room. Especially if this morning sickness kicks my butt. They are considered the best profilers for a reason. I still don't know what's going to happen with the baby. This time there's no fear Josh will find me or the baby. I just hope I can love this baby. I fell in love with Annie while she grew in me. It just kills me to know that this is my second child and it's not one I created with my husband or even a boyfriend." JJ just stares at the lamp on the other side of the room.

"JJ, this will all work out. It might not feel like it right now, but it will. If you feel comfortable enough, just tell people that the baby's mine. I'm not letting you go through this alone. So people will not suspect." Shawn says, holding JJ's only free hand.

"Shawn, I can't let you do that. It's not fair to you. Thank you so much for offering to do that. I'll come up with something. No one has to know right now. I mean we just found out." JJ say, babbling.

"So call pen and tell her you're fine. But you're spending the entire weekend with your new love. Then tell her you'll see her Monday and not a minute before." Shawn says, smugly and pretty confident in himself.

"So, you think you're going to get lucky Agent Michaels?" JJ asks, seriously. But just for a second. Not before she lets Shawn stumble over himself to explain.

"Oh, no. I didn't mean it like that." Shawn says, blushing.

"Shawn, I'm kidding. Don't worry. Let me call Pen and then you and I have to have a long conversation." JJ says, dials Pen's number and listens while the phone rings.

"JJ, how you feeling?" Pen answers without a hello or hi.

"I'm fine Pen. Just a few stitches. You know those stupid accidents. In a couple days, the stitches come out and I'm good as new." JJ says, trying not to waver.

"Why do you sound weird?" Pen asks, like an emotional blood hound.

"I'm just tired. And it sounds like I'm busy the rest of the weekend. Don't tell anyone, but Shawn and I are officially dating. He's got a few plans for this weekend. So if anything dire happens, I'll call. Other than that, I'll talk to you on Monday. Ok?" JJ says, not knowing how Pen will react.

"About time you guys start to official date. He was soiling your good reputation." Pen says, coming to JJ's honorary defense.

"Wow! I wasn't expecting that. But just don't tell anyone. I want to tell them. So I'll talk to you on Monday." JJ says, waiting for the original Pen banter.

"Ok sweet cheeks. Call if you need me." Pen says and hangs up. JJ hangs up in shock.

"So what'd she say?" Shawn asks, a shocked JJ.

"Nothing. That's weird. I wonder if something wrong with Pen." JJ says, wondering.

"Maybe she's 'hooking up' with someone and knows that you're in capable hands." Shawn says and rubs her back in a comforting gesture. JJ takes in what Shawn had stated and thought that sounded believable.

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Thanks for the reviews. Sorry that I didn't get this up yesterday. I had planned to, but you know how life sneaks up on you. I hope you all liked it and hope you continue to read and review. I think that this story might be coming to an end. But I might make it into a sequel. I would like to know what you all think. Please review and/or PM me and tell me what you would like me to do. Thanks again.