Her Past Catches Up With Her
I don't own Criminal Minds.
Chapter 30
JJ and Shawn sit with their back up against the headboard of JJ's king size bed. Shawn's holding JJ's hand, laced fingers and his other hand comes to cup her hand. So her hand is completely covered by Shawn's hands.
"JJ, I wish you'd seriously consider telling people I'm the father. Just think about it. You don't have to answer right now. Just tell me you'll consider it." Shawn says, waiting for JJ to agree to think it over.
"I'll think it over." JJ says, smiling at the reaction she got out of Shawn over the small words.
"Great! Now, next order of business. It was momentarily brought up, SEX. I love you Jennifer Jearau. I will not do anything to push you into something you don't want to do. You seemed to be ok with kissing. With me holding you. But I will never try to do anything. You just tell me if or when you feel comfortable. I'll wait till the ends of the Earth for you JJ. I will always be here for you. And hopefully this baby too." Shawn says, moving one hand and placing it ever so softly on JJ's still very flat stomach. This makes JJ smile and she places her other hand on top of his that's on her stomach.
"Thank you Shawn. I love you too. I told you I don't remember the damn rapes! So why would I need to wait!" JJ goes from quietly sweet to gradually angry. Shawn's taken aback by the quick, drastic change. Then he's thrown off guard when JJ turns to him and starts kissing him hard and furiously. Shawn tries to gently push her off him. But JJ grabs one of his hands and forces it onto one of her clothed breast. Shawn's just in complete shock. So he pushes her away a bit firmer. This sends her tumbling back about half way down the bed.
"JJ! What the hell was that?" Shawn asks shocked and hurt.
"I don't know! God! Shawn, I'm sorry!" JJ quickly gets up and runs to the bathroom. This time she locks the door. Then Shawn hears her vomiting. Shawn was not sure what to do. He gets up and walks over to the closed door.
"JJ, when you're done, please come out and talk to me. Honey, we need to talk about this." Shawn says, one hand lay flat on the door. Shawn hears nothing. Then seconds later he hears the lock turn, the door open and there stands a crying JJ. "Sweetheart, what was that? Were you waiting for me to hurt you? Did you think that if you tried to hurt me, that I'd hurt you back?" Shawn asks, holding his arms out for her to walk into.
"I think I was thinking that if we did it and got it over with, you wouldn't treat me like I'm made of glass. I know you love me and I love you. But I DON'T REMEMBER the rapes. This baby is the only proof to me that it eve happened. I want to be with you. I want to not have to worry about anything. I want to just enjoy it. We have all night to make love without interruptions. I don't want you to be disgusted by me. I want you to see past the rapes and see ME." JJ says, crying now. She falls into his arms and cries on his chest.
"JJ, we don't have to rush things. When we both find that it's the right time, it will happen. It's not a race. And when I look at you JJ, I don't see your rapes. I don't treat you special because you were raped. I treat you special because you are just that, special. I'm just sorry that you can't see that. See the wonderful way you comfort victims and their families. The way your mind works. How you always put others before yourself. Which will have to be altered a little now." Shawn says, hinting at the baby bundle baking in her little oven that would be her womb.
"Please, stop reminding me of this baby. I know he or she is there. The toilet knows too. With all this morning sickness, the whole world will know. I just want one last weekend of ignorant bliss before reality has to set in. Oh and can you run to the pharmacy for me. They called in prenatal vitamins. I have to start taking them ASAP. I think I'm going to lay back down. All this throwing up is tiring me out." JJ says, pulling away from Shawn and slowly walking over to the bed. Climbing in under the covers, Shawn walks over and makes sure she's covered and comfortable.
"Do you want anything else while I'm out?" Shawn asks, trying to avoid having to go back again until tomorrow.
"Yeah. Cherry chip ice cream and a cherry-chocolate milk shake." JJ says. Then she stops and remembers her dream. This sends an eerie shiver down her spine.
"Ok. JJ, are you cold?" Shawn asks, noticing the shiver and pulling the covers higher on her.
"No, just a moment of de javu." JJ says, the only differences are how far a long she was, that they aren't married and she's not on bed rest. But it's too close for her comfort.
"How do you mean?" Shawn asks, curiously.
"Just part of a dream. But it's not completely the same. Now, I'll sleep while you go run those errands." JJ says, turning over and closing her eyes. Shawn leans down and kisses her temple and leaves.
Monday rolls around too fast for the BAU team. They loves their job, but they also loves having time off to catch up on life outside of the Bureau.
JJ had already made three trips to the restroom to deal with morning sickness. She's drinking ginger ale in her coffee cup. Trying to throw off the team. As long as they didn't get to close, they'd never suspect. JJ hadn't spoke with Garcia yet. She's dreading it. But the time had come to face the only person who knew her better than herself. JJ knocks on Garcia's office door.
"Enter at your own risk!" Garcia bellows as she continues to type away on her babies.
"Hey Pen. I need you to run these two back ground checks. They aren't dire, but they need to be done today in order to get these reports done before they expire and we have to go through the whole process over again." JJ says, rambling. She knew Garcia could care less.
"Sure. Leave them there on my desk. I'll get them to you ASAP peaches." Garcia doesn't even look at JJ.
"Pen, please tell me what I did wrong." JJ says, tearing up fast.
"Why didn't you tell me that you and Shawn were an idem? I didn't like hearing it from HIM." Garcia says, feeling left out of the loop.
"Pen, it literally just happened. You were the first one to know after us. We've been hanging out a lot since Boston. He makes me feel safe. We're just great friends. Then the accident with the wine glasses and the…" JJ stops short because of the dizziness and nausea that hits her suddenly.
"JJ, are you ok? You look a little green." Pen asks, standing up to get closer to her friend in case her friend passed out.
"I…oh, trash can! Now!" JJ says, trying to hold the sick back for as long as she could.
"JJ, how long have you been sick?" Pen asks, rushing the trash can over to JJ. After JJ got sick and didn't show any sign of doing it again, she dials maintenance.
"Could I get someone up to the sixth floor to replace a trash can? Yes, someone got sick in it. Thank you so much." JJ says and hangs up. "Now, to answer your question. I think I'm having some type of reaction to the medication the ER doc gave me for this monstrosity." JJ says, holding up her wrist.
"That came on fast. For a minute there, I would've thought you were pregnant. Ha! Ha!" Pen says, laughing. JJ tries to give her very best fake laugh.
"Gees, Pen." JJ says, in response.
"Oh my god! You ARE pregnant!" Garcia yells in shock.
"Pen, keep your voice down! Why would you think I was pregnant? Just because I got sick doesn't automatically mean I'm pregnant! I told you that it's the medication! I came in here to find out what I did wrong. Then I try to apologize to you. You're throwing around absurd ideas. Sorry, but I have work to do." JJ says angry and leaves. But instead of heading to her office she heads to the restroom to rinse her mouth out.
As JJ walks out of the ladies room, she bumps into someone. "Oh, sorry." JJ says, looking up to see whom she collided with. It was the unit chief.
"JJ, sorry. Are you ok?" Hotch asks politely.
"Fine. Sorry, I didn't mean to come barreling out of the restroom. I'll watch where I walk a little better. Excuse me." JJ takes a few steps around him to head back to her office.
"JJ, wait," Hotch stops her. She turns around and takes a few steps back toward him. "JJ, could you meet me in my office in," He looks at his watch, then back at JJ and continues, " half an hour. When need to talk." Hotch says, watching JJ's body language. Just to see if he could tell if something was wrong.
"Sure, I have to make a few calls to make. I'll come by right after. Was there a case file I should bring?" JJ stares at him, waiting to get an answer.
"No. Just be there. Thanks." Hotch walks away. JJ wait's a few seconds, then heads back to her office.
After JJ finishes her two work related calls and fills out a few pieces of paper work that she needs Hotch's signature on, she heads to his office only two doors down. She knocks on the door and waits for an answer.
"Come in!" Hotch firmly states.
"Hotch, I need these signed and then what did you want to talk about?" JJ asks. Hotch takes the papers that JJ had reached to give him. He quickly signs them and hands them back.
"Please, sit." Hotch says, sounding more like an order then suggestion.
"What is it Hotch?" JJ's nervous.
"I'd like to know how things are going in therapy. Are things getting better?" Hotch, again watches for tell tale signs of lying.
"They're going fine. Not really a lot to tell. Not as many nightmares. When I do, they get out of hand at times." JJ holds up her wrist.
"What happened there?" Hotch's face gets even more serious.
"Just a nightmare that got a little physical and I knocked over a wine glass and cut my wrist. A few stitches later, I'm almost good as new. I think I might be having a bad reaction to the meds they gave me. I've been throwing up a lot. So if Pen says anything, it's just her being worried." JJ says, trying to get to Hotch before Pen can plant the 'pregnant' idea into his head. JJ knows that Hotch would figure it out much faster that way.
"Why? What's Garcia thinking the problem is?" Hotch's eager to hear this one. He thinks Garcia's mind is a little on the weird side.
"I can't remember. She just gave me a hard time. I kind of got sick in her trash can in her office. It came on quickly. So she's blowing it up worse than it is. With the pain, meds and stress, she's just a little over protective of me. My little momma hen. You know how she is." JJ rambles and Hotch caught a tell tale sign of lying. He didn't know exactly what she's lying about, but when she failed to keep eye contact, he knew.
"Hmm, that's interesting. When you were hurt, did you drive yourself to the hospital? I would think with something as deep as needing stitches, you wouldn't be driving." Hotch waits for an answer, suspiciously.
"No, I didn't. Agent Michaels was over and he drove me." JJ leaves it there. She doesn't want to offer more info than is needed.
"Oh. I wasn't aware of your friendship with Agent Michaels. How long have you two been spending time together?"
"Since we came back from Boston. Is that a problem? I thought we were able to socialize because we weren't on the same team." JJ pedals fast to cover her tracks.
"No problems with Bureau rules. But do you and your therapist think it's a good idea?" Hotch curious about JJ's mental well being.
"Excuse me Hotch. With all due respect, that's more about my personal life. I know that you're worried about me. Not just as media liaison, but as a friend. But I do deserve the respect to have my personal space. You know something about me that only Shawn, Agent Michaels knows too. I don't let him push me mentally, emotional and I won't let you either. I' a big girl. I can take care of myself. I know you and the team are having a hard time completely trusting me because of the lies I HAD to tell. But I thought we could get past this. I don't know EVERYTHING about your personal life. Last time I checked I was able to decide what was best for me." JJ stops for a moment. A small wave of nausea was washing over her. She places a hand on her. She places a hand on her stomach and an arm protectively over her mouth. Hotch stands up and grabs his trash can. He rushes around his desk. Holding out his trash can.
"Here. Are you ok?" Hotch asks, like a concerned father. The wave passes and JJ sighs with relief.
"I think I'm fine. Thanks thought. I need to get back to my office. I have my ginger ale and a little bucket there. Just please believe me Hotch. I'm doing good. Me being with Agent Michaels only helps. He takes excellent care of me when I need it. Like you and Agent Prentiss." JJ smiles at his face turning a little shade of red.
"Ok, but I will be checking on you and Agent Michaels. I think you should tell him to be good to you or he has to deal with the entire BAU team." Hotch threatens like a papa bear.
"I'll be sure to tell him sir." JJ says as giggles escape her voice. JJ leaves the office and heads back to hers. Once there, she dials Shawn's extension.
"Michaels."
"Hello, sexy Agent Michaels. I just wanted to tell you that you and I are public. Garcia's now on official gossip notice. And I just had an interesting talk with my Unit Chief. He told me to tell you that if you do anything to hurt me, you get the whole BAU team's wrath. I hope that this nice little nugget of truth doesn't scare you." JJ tries to hold back the laughter from her voice.
"No." Shawn says, mockingly changing his voice to make it sound like he's scared.
"You are so crazy!" JJ squeals with joy.
"Crazy about you, Agent Jearau. So, are you up for dinner at Tony's tonight? I can call and make s reservation for seven tonight."
"I don't see why not." JJ agrees.
"Isn't that when the morning sickness dies down?" Shawn asks, thinking that the nausea is less by that time. He remembers that she had almost no nausea between six and ten in the evening. At least in the last few days.
"Yes. Thank you for being so observant. Although, I do miss my hair holder slash back rub when I throwing up. It takes all the fun out of it." JJ says, laughing. Shawn laughs too.
"Sorry sweetheart. Did you call to make a doctors appointment? One with your family doctor and one to find a ob-gyn?" Shawn asks responsibly.
"Yes. It took a while to find a ob-gyn that was taking new patients."
"Is it a woman?" Shawn asks, knowing JJ might have a problem with a man.
"Yes. I was getting worried. There was only one other woman ob-gyn left in the phone book. Talk about sweating bullets."
"So, when are the appointments? I'll make sure I ask for the time off. If you want me to go, that is." Shawn doesn't want to over step the lines.
"That's fine. My regular doctors appointment is Thursday. My first ob appointment's tomorrow. At 3pm. It's the only time they had. Thursday's appointment is 10:30am. It's kind of short notice, so if you can't get the time off, don't worry." JJ's nervous about going to the OB's appointment. She doesn't want to have to explain who the father is and how it came about.
"Babe, I'll get it clear. Don't you worry that beautiful head of yours. Now make sure you let your boss know that it's two doctors appointments. Just leave it at that. Don't give any explanation. After tomorrow, we find out that everything's ok. That should put you at ease. Then in a few weeks, if I can talk you into it, we can tell people that we are going to be parents. It's long enough to make them believe it and soon enough that you won't be showing yet. See, it's all doable honey. So don't worry. It's not good for you. I'll pick you up at your house at 6:30pm?" Shawn sounding a bit on the excited time.
"Ok, ok my sexy man. I'll see you tonight. I can't wait." JJ chuckles a little. Then hangs up. As she did that, she noticed someone standing at her opened door. She looks and see Hotch. "What can I do for you sir?" Standing and looking confused.
"I just thought you might need this." Hotch hands her a few pieces of paper. She'd forgotten then when she almost got sick in his office.
"Sorry Hotch." JJ reaches for the papers, but Hotch holds them back.
"Wait. Did I hear you right?" Hotch looks for an answer.
"I don't know sir, what did you think you heard?" JJ wasn't going to give ANY information without knowing what he heard.
"You didn't tell me you had a doctor's appointment. You need to tell me when you have these. I need to know about them." Hotch raises his voice like a stern father.
"I'm sorry. I was going to come and tell you. I was just getting off the phone with Shawn. And I was about to call you. I didn't think you wanted me to come to your office and possibly get sick." JJ chuckles, hoping that Hotch would loosen up.
"I just worry about you JJ. I don't like knowing things and then not knowing things. I just don't know what to expect from you. What time and date are these appointments?" Hotch asks, pulling out his little note pad and pen.
"Tomorrow at 3pm. And then Thursday at 10:30am. Please, don't be mad at me Hotch. I'm sorry." JJ's eyes start to tear up. Very unlike JJ.
"I'm not mad. I'm just catch off guard. Now don't cry. You'll make yourself sick. Sit down and drink some ginger ale. I know that helps with upset stomach. Hailey used to drink a ton of that when she was pregnant with Jack." Hotch has a glimmer of insight after saying that, but didn't say anything to JJ.
"Thanks for understanding Hotch." JJ sits down and takes a drink from her cup. Hotch turns and walks out without another word.
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Sorry for the long absence. I was really busy co-writing a story with Bailee Neal. But I'm trying to get this story finished up before starting the sequel to 'Do As I Say'. So please read and review. Tell me what you think and where you'd like to see the story go. Thanks to all that have read and reviewed. I appreciate it.