Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes or All That!

Enjoy.

"...there were no survivors. And now it's time for Tenzil Kem With Vital Information For Your Everyday Life."

This time, Tenzil is on a deck overlooking a beach. He's in green and black bathing shorts decorated with a teeth pattern, a green tank-top, and his usual specs.

"My we do keep running into each other don't we? Hi, I'm Tenzil Kem. Most know me as Manny the Mauler. Others know me as Mister Magic Mutton Chops. And some know me as Debbie. But you can call me Matter-Eater Lad, and I have some information crucial to your lives."

"I wish you would get hit by an old lady!" the off screen voice yells. "And I wish you would stop being an old lady! Now come over here and build a perpetual motion device!" "I don't wanna!"

Tenzil took of his specs and rubbed his eyes. Then he put them back on.

"It's fun to bring a beach-ball to the beach. It's not fun to bring a rabid raccoon. Example..." Tenzil tosses a rabid raccoon into the beach. The beach-goers start screaming and running around. "IT'S EATING MY EYES!" "WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?!" "SOYLENT GREEN IS MADE OF PEOPLE!"

"When life gives you lemons, give life a wedgie!"

"Mary had a little lamb, it's fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go. Just went right over that cliff after her."

"Don't count your chickens before they hatch. Count your zits before they pop."

"If you have two heads, four noses, and a tail where your belly button should be, you ain't coming over to my house you circus freak!"

"They say the early bird catches the worm. I sure hope not!" Tenzil covers his crotch area.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? Mirror mirror in my hut, I sure hope you kiss my butt!"

"My Cousin Zeke told me 'be kind to others and you will have all the riches in the world.' He also thought there were little men in his head trying to steal his bathtub. We don't visit Cousin Zeke anymore."

"I told the witch doctor I was in love with you. The witch doctor said "put your pants back on, this is a library!"

"It's okay to be different. It's okay to be original. It's not okay to walk into school wearing only a severed head around your neck and proclaim "I AM THE QUEEN OF FRANCE! DANCE MY LIPPY HOP TOADS!"

"Always look before you cross the street. The same should not be said when grandma's putting on her bra." Tenzil shivers.

"Snow White married Prince Charming, Cinderella married Prince Charming, Sleeping Beauty married Prince Charming, heck I married Prince Charming. We're registered at Bloomingdale's." Tenzil giggles like a school girl.

"When you steal someone's heart, it means you're in love. When you actually do it, it means you're a murderer. Have fun in prison!"

"Well this has been fun. If you'll excuse me I have to give grandma her bacon in the tub. Good night."

"This has been Tenzil Kem with Vital Information For Your Everyday Life."