Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes or All That!

Can you guess which Simpsons episode I'm making a reference to? Again, the best I got but, enjoy.

"Live from New York, it's Tenzil Kem With Vital Information For Your Everyday Life!"

Tenzil is sitting at a table on a balcony overlooking NYC.

"Hey party people! I'm Tenzil Kem with information crucial to your daily lives."

"I rue the day your parents had intercourse!" the off screen voice yelled. "I know you are but what am I? Now get over here and start tap dancing with this dead squid!" "I don't wanna!"

Tenzil threw his hands up in frustration.

"If it looks bad, smells bad, tastes bad, and is vomiting on the floor, chances are, you're dad made dinner tonight."

"If you're getting a visit from your Great Aunt Mildred, the best course of action would be to stand perfectly still until she loses interest. Then, she'll spread her wings and fly back to her nest with offerings of nursing home pudding and bingo cards for her freshly hatched young."

"It took the Hebrews forty years to cross the desert. It took me five seconds to burn the house down."

"The other day my sister Timantha said 'Like OMG WTF TTYL FUR-EVA!' I'm pretty sure she was having a stroke."

"They say it's bad luck to kill a spider." Tenzil takes out a mallet and smashes a small spider. "Yeah, bad luck for the spider, that is!"

"President Kennedy once said 'Err ah errah errr ahh...'. This is why I sleep in history class."

"They say you should stop and smell the roses. Well I did, and the Rose Family had me arrested!"

"They say two's company, but three's a crowd. I hope my girlfriend never heard that saying. Now what I'm saying?"

"They say too much of a good thing can be bad. Does that mean too much of a bad thing can be good?" Tenzil begins to pour bees onto his head, and starts screaming wildly. "AHHHHH!! THIS ISN'T A GOOD THING!! WHY DID I THINK IT WAS?!"

Tenzil shakes off the bees and recomposes himself.

"If you have a little black piglet in your pants, and you don't what to do, I suggest... you take the pig outta your pants! What, do you need an instruction manual, moron?"

"When caught cheating on a test, it'd help if you didn't say to the teacher "stupid over here won't give me the answers. Now gimme a kiss slappy wag!"

"Never try to protect yourself from boriac acid using only a pair of cheap googles. Why? Because zey goggle, zey do NOTHING!!" Tenzil ripes away his specs to reveal burnt out, crusty flesh covering his eyes.

"Well this has been fun but I have to go see a man about laser eye surgery. Smell ya later!"

Tenzil gets up, only to trip on something and fall off the balcony.

"This has been Tenzil Kem with Vital Information for Your Every Day Life."

"I'm okay!"

Happy Halloween everyone!