Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes or All That!
The macerna line someone else made up, I just changed it all. Again, enjoy.
"The show that no one wants to see, but everyone will watch, it's Tenzil Kem With Vital Information For Your Everyday Life!"
Tenzil's dressed as a wannabe gangsta.
"How's it hanging dawgs? I'm Tenzil and I'm gonna lay down some phat info to save yo' sorry asses."
"My parents wish I was never born!" the off screen voice yells. "And so do I! Now get over here and jimmy this jelly!" "I have absolutely no idea what that even means and I still don't wanna!"
"If you're afraid of heights, you shouldn't climb up to high places. If you're afraid of bathtubs, you probably smell like something died, you smelly moron!"
"If you're at a fast food place, and you cut in line, then you're a line cutter! And if you're a line cutter, then you're grandma will come to your house while you're in the shower, and pelt you with diseased cats!"
"If you're walking home from school one day, and you notice something old and smelly is going through your backpack looking for money, chances are it might not be a dog."
"The other day I was walking and hit my head, but I don't think I got any damage brained."
"If you like playing with rabid animals, drinking bleach, and wandering into traffic, guess what? Your mom is Brittney Spears!"
"Mae West said "why don'tcha come up and see me some time." Well I did, and guess what? She was dead! Story of my life."
"Oh macarena macarena macarena. Oh macarena macarena macarena. Oh macarena macarena macarena. Oh how I hate whoever wrote this song!"
"If a girl asks you out, the first thing you should NOT say is 'I made poopy!'"
"My mom said 'Tenzil stop chewing on the carpet.' And I said 'go kiss a gorilla CORNCHEESE!' I have no idea what that meant either."
"On your first date, you shouldn't say stuff like "I have a violet kangaroo who lives in my head. Now lets make tongue whoopy HoneyStuffin!"
"There once was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children she didn't know what to do. That must've been one BIG ASS shoe."
"All is fair in love and war. Sadly that doesn't work as a homicide defense."
"No cop in the universe will believe the excuse 'but officer the bullets just fell into him!'"
"Never kick a man when he's down. Wait for him to get up, then go crazy on his ass!"
"I know what boys like, and I know what guys want. They want you to shut up. BURN!"
"When thinking over a situation, it's best not to think at all. Leave the thinking to the people with brains, you sacka dumb monkeys!"
"It was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring... except for this fat guy trying to get in through the chimney."
"There comes a time in everyone's life when they must learn about the birds and the bees." Tenzil takes out a bird and a bee in a jar. "This is a bird and this is a bee." Tenzil lets the bee out of the jar and the bird eats it. "And that's how babies are made!"
"Well, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go see a man about this thing on my butt. Peace!"
"This has been Tenzil Kem with Vital Information for your Every Day Life."