Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes or All That!
Just to be clear, I make fun of everyone. And the boron bit is from Futurama Enjoy!
"Tenzil Kem With Vital Information For Your Everyday Life is sponsored by... Molten Boron. Remember our slogan..."
"Nobody doesn't like, molten boron!"
Tenzil is sitting at a desk, and putting lipstick on a sock puppet he's wearing on his left hand.
"Hey ho all of you out there in TV land. This is Tenzil Kem, keeping it real and helping you get through your daily lives."
"I've just been axed in the back!" the off-screen voice yells. "Oh stop complaining and take it like a man! Now quit scratching your axe hole and come marry this sock puppet!" "I don't wanna!"
Tenzil turns to the sock puppet on his left hand.
"Sorry Ms. Peabody. S'all right?" "S'all right!" "S'all right?" "S'all right!"
"You know, Thanksgiving is the time of year for family togetherness and being thankful for what you have. It's also the time of year to ask 'Please God, tell me I'm adopted.'"
"If you're at the mall, and you're son is sitting on Santa Claus' lap, and it's April, boy is he in for a big surprise!"
"In West Philadelphia, born and raised, on the playground is where I spent most of my days. Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool, and shootin' some BBall outside of the school. When a couple of guys who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood. I got in one little fight and my mom got scared, she said 'THAT'S IT! IT'S BACK TO REFORM SCHOOL WITH YOU, BUSTER!'"
"If you're a boy and you like playing with dolls, to avoid being made fun of, just take your Barbie, give it a really crappy hair cut, smear lipstick all over it and dunk in a bottle of brandy. Voila! You've got a Courtney Love action figure!"
"Little Miss Muffet, sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider who sat down beside her... and she took out an M80 and blew that sucker away! Hey! I made a rhyme!"
"As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with seven wives. Can you believe it? Seven! Damn he is one busy playa."
"Never try walking on your butt. Why? Butt splinters."
"A lot of famous people have stuff named after them. Abraham Lincoln has the Lincoln Memorial, George Washington has the Washington Monument, and Lou Gehrig's has Lou Gehrig's Disease. Everybody's happy!"
"Many famous people have overcome disability to achieve greatness. Beethoven was a great composer even though he was deaf. Helen Keller was blind and deaf, but she overcame that and led a long, rich life. And I broke out of an insane asylum on Mars to give you such quality entertainment!"
"Well this has been fine and dandy, but I've gotta go get Ms. Peabody over here a date for the Harvest Dance." "I want Ryan Seacrest!"
"This has been Tenzil Kem, (And Ms. Peabody), With Vital Information for your every day life."
"Ryan! WHERE'S RYAN?!"