Chapter 5

Suddenly realizing that she was as scared as he was, he pulled to the side of the road. He turned to face her. Of all of this fantasies, this was not on the list. He placed his hand on her arm. There was no going back. He whispered, "I love you too, Alex."

She rolled her eyes. "I know what comes next. We're partners and you won't risk it." She met his eyes. "We risk our lives everyday to do this job. Why can't you risk your heart? I am just as scared as you, Bobby."

Bobby closed his eyes. "You don't understand. You don't know everything. You deserve so much more." There was so much he was holding back.

She moved her hand to his cheek. "I know that when we kissed…yesterday and last night…that it was the most sure I've been about anything in a long time, Bobby."

Bobby took a ragged breath. He whispered, "For me too." Licking his lips, he looked away. It was so hard fighting his feelings. All he wanted to do was kiss her again. He tried desperately to keep a level head. "We should talk about this. Maybe tonight…over dinner?" He turned to meet her eyes again.

Alex bit her lip and thought about this. "Even if dinner only consists of a quick walk from the station to the deli?" She tilted her head and watched him.

Bobby nodded. He searched her eyes and assured her, "Yes. Even if. I'm not...chickening out here. Right this second, in the car, on the way to work isn't the right time...for this."

She nodded and lowered her hand from his cheek. "I know...I'm sorry that I pushed it..."

Bobby swallowed hard. He took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I'm...glad you did. I would never have...said anything else." He looked away. "I was too afraid you didn't feel the same way and I'd make things too awkward and lose what we have. You're too important to me to lose, under any circumstances."

"You won't lose me." She sighed softly and pointed in the general direction of her place. "We should get going." They had a lot of work to do.

Bobby nodded. Trying to believe that, he put the car back in gear and headed towards her place again. He had to concentrate on work now, on this case. Hoping to tread lightly, he quietly suggested, "I still think we need to look at Grayson..."

"You just have to know him, Bobby. He's always talked in riddles...I don't know how he and Kevin ever got along." She was going over a few things in her head.

Bobby nodded a little. With a sigh, he turned onto another street. He wasn't trying to push, but he continued, "He said he didn't see anything. Didn't hear anything. I just...find that incredibly hard to believe."

Alex frowned. "Same story he had when..." She trailed off, digging deeper into her memory.

Bobby glanced over at her. Worried, he gently pressed, "When...Joe was killed?"

Alex furrowed her brow. "That doesn't mean anything." She knew how his mind worked. "We have a cop killer to find, Bobby. We can't start pointing fingers at each other..."

Bobby sighed. "I'm sorry... I'm not trying to point my finger at anyone. Just trying to get to the bottom of this." She didn't want to think it was possible. He was a friend of hers. The idea that he was responsible for her husband's and then a friend's deaths wasn't something she wanted to consider. He understood that, but he wasn't giving himself that luxury. Grayson was definitely on his suspect list. He'd just have to dig a little more into this case before he could bring it up again, prove it to Alex. He wasn't going to try to force her to see it until he had to. He pulled into her drive way.

Alex sighed softly. She turned to face him with one hand on the door handle. "I just have to run in and change...and I'll see you at the station. Okay?"

Bobby nodded in understanding. He met her eyes and hesitated a moment before asking, "Are you sure you don't want me to wait?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "I'll only be five minutes behind you...and I'm sure I'll still beat you." He really was awful when it came to take alternate routes.

Bobby smiled. Relaxing a little, he nodded. "Probably." He sighed again. "OK... I'll see you at the station." He watched her step back and close the door. Waiting until she was inside, he hesitantly pulled back out and stared to 1PP.

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Alex closed another file. She sighed softly and popped her neck. She didn't even glance up. She moved to the next file. She hadn't moved from that chair in four hours.

Bobby looked up at her. He sighed, closing the first officer's report again. He could tell she was exhausted, and he was growing worried about her. They weren't getting anywhere. The canvas had turned up empty. There was nothing new to gleam from the statements and reports they had. There was no evidence that anyone else had been in that warehouse. He pushed it out of his mind. She was usually the one pulling him out of the files, but it obvious he was going to have to do it for her tonight. He reached over and placed his hand on her file. He ventured, "Eames, we've been at this for the last four hours straight. I think...it's time to take a break...maybe get that dinner." He tilted his head and met her eyes.

Her brow furrowed. She shook her head. "There has to be something here, Bobby. I know I'm just overlooking it. I'm just...not looking hard enough."

Bobby swallowed hard. He shook his head. He insisted, "No, you're not missing it. Neither of us are. We're getting nowhere. We can't do this all night. We need to go. Get some food...and some sleep."

She closed her eyes and sighed. He was right. She knew all that was true. "Okay...I just need to go to use the ladies room."

Bobby nodded. "That's fine. I'll shut us down for the night." It was pushing ten. He searched her eyes, hoping she'd agree.

She started to protest then finally nodded. "I'll just be a moment." She turned and moved to the ladies room. She moved to the sink and splashed cold water on her face. She swallowed hard before meeting her own eyes in the mirror. "Come on, Eames...Keep it together." She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes again. She wiped them away and made her way back out to their desks. "Ready?" she tried to sound more upbeat.

Bobby nodded carefully. He studied her as they walked to the elevator. Everything about her screamed tension and pain. She was struggling and losing. Reaching the elevator, he pressed the down button for her. He'd give her till they got out of the building before he pressed. He knew her defenses were high here, and he'd never get anything from her. He quietly slipped into the elevator with her and looked over at her. He tried to think of something safe. He offered, "Where, uh, did you want to go eat?"

She shrugged. "I'm not that hungry...so you pick." She shoved her hands deep into her pockets and leaned heavily against the elevator wall. She wanted this whole nightmare to be over. She hated these painful reminders of the past. She'd worked too hard and too long to put all this behind her, only to have it bite her in the ass all over again.

Hoping to make it easy and quick, he suggested, "We could just go to that diner, down the street." They went there a lot. It was familiar and safe, and she had mentioned it that morning.

She nodded slowly. She could get the strong coffee so she could research online when she got home. "That's perfect."

Bobby sighed softly and nodded. He looked over at her. He let them lapse into silence. Once they stepped out of the elevator, he followed her out onto the street. He looked over at her. "We're going to find who did this, Alex."

She sighed and nodded. "This isn't like that time you promised that man and woman that you'd find her daughter's killer... You can't make me promises..."

Bobby closed his eyes for a moment. He looked over at her as they walked. "I can promise we're definitely going to do our best, Alex. You know I want to get to the bottom of this." I'm just afraid it's not going to go anywhere you like. I'm afraid it's going to link back to Joe. I'm afraid Grayson is involved.

She bit her lip and said softly, "Can we just not...can we not talk about this for a hour. It's all I ask...one hour...and if you can't go an hour I'll settle for half an hour. I just...I can't take much more tonight." She pushed hair out of her face and wanted to cry.

Bobby nearly winced. He heard the pain in her voice. Taking her hand, he stopped them and turned her to face him. He met her eyes. "l'm sorry. I know how hard this is on you..." He reached up and stroked her cheek. He wished he could take all of this away for her.

She kissed his palm before moving into his arms. She wrapped herself around him and lay her head against his chest. "I'm sorry...I just...it's brought back so much. So much I thought I had...put behind me."

A/N: Reviews are much loved and appreciated. And remember this is out take on Amends and the initial plot was formed before watching the episode. So its way AU for the most part.