Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes or All That! Nor do I mean to offend Margot Kidder

"From the studio that brought Friday the 13th Part 33 1/3: Jason Goes to the DMV, it's Tenzil Kem With Vital Information For Your Everyday Life."

Tenzil is in front of a fancy kitchen.

"Hey! You're just in time for breakfast."

"And you're just in time for a beatdown!" the off screen voice yelled. "Bring it, bitch! But before you do, give Alaskan sled dog a colostomy!" "I don't wanna!"

"You shouldn't hear the things they say about Shaft. He is not one bad mother-"

"Shut yo' mouth!"

"I'm just talkin' 'bout the Shaft!"

"If you get caught chewing gum in school and the teacher asks 'did you bring enough for the rest of the class?', be sure to tell her 'yeah it's up my ass.'"

"I've heard people complain that Family Guy is nothing more than one random joke after another. Boy, I'll tell ya, this reminds me of the time I house sat for Margot Kidder."

FLASHBACK TIME!

Tenzil is sitting inside a large living, calmly reading a book, when...

Margot Kidder drives her car through the living room window! She bursts out of the windshield, looking rabid and screaming like a banshee.

"AAAHHHHH!!! AHHHHH!!"

She hops around, flipping over furniture and waving her arms around when...

"I forgot my make-up bag." She says in a very calm manner.

"Here ya go." Tenzil hands her the bag.

"Thanks. AHHHH!! AHHHH!!"

She flips the couch over, jumps through the unbroken part of the windshield, glass in her face, and drives through the fireplace. The ceiling falls in on Tenzil.

"I'm okay!"

FLASHBACK OVER!

"Now where was I? Something about fish? Oh wait, I remember. Benjamin Franklin once said 'a penny saved is a penny earned.' Wow, a whole penny. Now I can retire."

"Oh, it seems we have another letter from 1000GreenSun. This time it reads:

'Any Tom, Dick and Harry can do that!' 'What?' 'Sorry, Tom, Dick and Harry is politically incorrect. Harry got a sex-change, so now its Tom, Dick and Gwendolyn.' Wait, I went out with a Gwendolyn last night. And I made a touchdown!" Tenzil looks sick.

"'Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch. He decides what time it is. Is that why the space-time continuum is screwed?' Chuck. Norris. I LOATHE Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is what's wrong with Texas!"

"But thank you once again, GreenSun, and please accept this year's supply of Quarry-O's!"

Tenzil motions to a display of cereal boxes.

"Yes, Quarry-O's. Not just rocks! But rocks in a box! For every growing Bismollian's diet."

One of the stagehands walks on screen.

"Uh, you have another package."

"Huh? What's...?" the stagehand hand's Tenzil the box.

There is a postcard attached to the box. It reads:

I WILL GET YOU.

"What the-?"

Tenzil is caught off by the five rabid wolverines that jump out of the box and start to maul him. He is screaming horribly.

"This has been Tenzil Kem with Vital Information for your every day life."

"THERE INSIDE MY RIBCAGE!"