Disclaimer: I do not own Legion of Super-Heroes, All That!, or Spider-Man.
I just had to continue the revenge.
"'El Kabong?" Tenzil wearily asked.
"What the sprock did you do to him?" One voice, a man.
"Just hit him over the head with a guitar. Oh, and that thing with the cheese grater." A second voice, female.
He opened his eyes, slowly, and he saw Ebony Dent standing over him, and was that...?
"Lightning Lad?"
It was indeed, but there was something odd. He had a different costume, a tattoo of the Legion "L" and two lightning bolts on his left arm, stubble instead of a goatee, oh, and a flesh-and-blood right arm.
"This is the Garth Ranzz from New Earth. I didn't feel like bothering our Garth with this." She explained.
"What the sprock is he doing here?"
"Owed her a favor."
"And he was kind enough to fulfill it, unlike that asshole gargoyle Pazuzu."
And somewhere in Paris…
"What is it papa?" The little baby gargoyle perched on Notre Dame asked his father, the large Pazuzu.
"I do not know my son. I feel… a disturbance."
And, back to our trio...
"Tenzil, this is what happens when you mouth off about people who don't deserve it. And when you perpetuate the idea that I have knocked it with the Idiot Formerly Known as Moron." Ebony almost puked hearing that.
"We can take a joke. But one insult after another is just stupid. That 80's Show stupid." Garth informed.
"Why do you care?" Tenzil asked.
"This is fanfiction. If the writer wants him to care, he cares." Ebony broke the fourth wall.
"And iIf the writer wants this thing to have a bathroom, and Queen Elizabeth I was sitting on it, then that's what's gonna happen!" Garth explained.
FLUSH!
"Dearies you seem to be out of the two-ply." The Queen told them.
The Time Bubble emerged over a church covered in snow.
"You like Thanksgiving so much? Enjoy spending it in 1692 Salem!" Ebony said.
"As they said in Yuyu Hakusho, sayonara bye-bye." Garth waved bye-bye.
They pushed Tenzil out of the time bubble, and he fell through the church roof and landed on his butt at his destination. He pondered the situation for a moment.
"Wait. 1692. Why does that sound so…"
He stopped short when he realized he had been dropped in the parish, as the angry Puritans were busy persecuting poor Martha Corey.
"'Sup?"
"WITCH! WITCH!"
"I saw him dancing with the devil!"
"I saw him dancing with the devil!"
"Sprock my ass off."
And back in the time bubble...
"You want to stick around?" Ebony asked.
"Nah."
"Well, you have anything planned for Thanksgiving?" Ebony asked. "I ate a while ago, but I'm still a little hungry." Garth told her.
"Pizza?" Ebony asked.
"Now that sounds like a fine idea indeed." The queen said.
"Just not that Dominoes crap." Garth smirked.
...
"Okay I hate to break up Petticoat Junction, but I'm not a witch."
They had Tenzil tied to a wooden stake and were about to set him on fire.
"Only a witch would say that!" A farmer with two missing teeth shouted.
"Say what?" Tenzil asked.
"I'm not a witch!" The farmer repeated.
"We got another one!" They ambushed the farmer.
"Two in one day people! Very good!" The reverend said.
"Y'are a witch! Nestled on the suckling teat of Satan's frothy wench himself!"
Tenzil blanked.
"…there are so many things wrong with that."
They cheered on as they lit a torch. Tenzil gulped. All seemed lost, when...
Dues Ex Machine time!
"What the-?!"
In a flash of white light, Tenzil was back in his room at Legion HQ. Who did he have to thank for this? He looked around, and on the ceiling...
"Spider-Man!"
Over one the wall of his room, there was the wall-crawling, red-and-blue, friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.
"Thanks Spider-Man!"
"Everybody gets one." The wall-crawler said, and disappeared into the night.
...
"Crap."
The two were sitting inside a Pizza Hut.
"What?" He asked as he dunked a breadstick in tomato sauce.
"I forgot. What if someone brings him back?" Ebony drank from her Coke-A-Cola.
"I took care of that." Garth smiled a devilish grin.
...
Brainy was watching the Daily News.
"…and while he said he never saw the movie, Tenzil Kem was quoted 'the only difference between Kirk and Picard is that Picard makes up for his lack of acting by being a bigger douche bag than Kirk, which is saying something.'"
There was a knock at the door.
"Who could that be?" Brainy asked. He opened the HQ doors, and standing in the mist were a pack of red-eyed, bloodthirsty Trekkies.
"GIVE US, THE BOY."
"Tenzil, company!"
…
"Happy Thanksgiving."
"Happy Thanksgiving."
"Jolly good show."
They toasted.
"This has been Ebony Dent of Earth-22, Garth Ranzz of New Earth, and Queen Elizabeth I administering well-deserved revenge of vital importance."