Disclaimer: I don't own any of these shows.

Happy 3009 Faithful Readers!

"And now, the Vital Information New Year's Countdown to 30--!"

Tenzil has own a party hat and one of those blow things in his mouth.

"Boy, we sure have had one crazy year." Tenzil said.

"No you haven't!" The off screen voice yelled. "Shut up! You just ruined the century! Not start singing Auld Lang la la in this teddy!"

"I don't wanna!"

"Boy, we sure have had some crazy times. Like the time I got shot."

BAM!

"I got shot!" Tenzil yells as he falls on the sun dial.

...

Tenzil is sitting in a hospital bed, surrounded by a binch of people.

"It was…" He points an accusing finger around the room, until he reaches…

*GASPS!*

"Maggie Simpson!"

The little baby with the pacifier just keeps on sucking it.

…

"And there was that time I ran a modeling class at Lawndale High."

Tenzil is standing on the stage of Lawndale High's auditorium, speaking to a bunch of girls in his modeling class.

"Now girls, you are walking down the runway to your car. You have spotted a headless corpse in it… and it's a brand new car!"

"But, why would there be a-" Quinn Morgendorffer starts to ask.

"AND IT'S A BRAND NEW CAR!"

…

"And then that time I tried to get that chicken out of that cow."

Tenzil is dressed as a doctor, Cow is sitting on a table. Tenzil has just spread salt near her udder, then examines his watch, then milks her.

"Milk sample!" He says in a sing-song voice, holding a glass of milk.

"Uh doctor, what is the point of this experiment?" Dad asks.

"Well, I'm thirsty, and your daughter's a cow. DO THE MATH!!"

…

"And then there was that time I looked SOOOO good."

A stick figure Tenzil is standing with Cheerleader, So-and-So, and What's Her Face.

"Hey gals! How ya looking?" Cheerleader asks.

"SO GOOD!"

"OKAY! I mean SO GOOD!" Whats-Her-Face says.

…

"And then there was that time I got that guy to say he was sorry."

Tenzil is at a talk show, speaking to someone in the audience. He as a thick Pottsylvania accent.

"So are you sorry you called her fat?" Tenzil asks.

"Yes! Oh God, yes!" The audience member breaks down crying.

…

"And then there was that time I set my girlfriends straight. Now what I'm saying?"

Tenzil is sitting at a table with a couple of fat, black women.

"Mmmmm-hmmm." The first one goes.

"Uh-uhhh." The second one goes.

"Uhhh-huh." Tenzil says.

…

"And then there was that time I almost married Professor Utonium."

Cut to a chapel in Townsville. Professor Utonium is standing down the aisle, his three girls the bridesmaid. He lifts up his bride's veil…

And it's Tenzil!

He leans in for the kiss. Utonium is horrified.

"I have always loved you." Tenzil whispers.

…

"And then there was that time I said I wouldn't let go."

Tenzil is sitting on a broken off panel, in the freezing Atlantic ocean. Jack drifts off below the water.

"I'll never let go, Jack."

…

"And then there was-"

"HOLD IT!"

Tenzil stops. The director steps on screen.

"None of this stuff happened! You just stole it from other TV shows!"

BOOM!

The other cartoon characters enter with torches and pitchforks.

"There he is!" Peter Griffin yells.

"GET HIM!" The Powerpuff Girls scream.

"Gotta go! Happy New Year!" Tenzil runs off screaming as they chase after.

"This has been Tenzil Kem with Vital Information for the New Year. Happy Whenever!"