Disclaimer: I do not own Legion or All That!

I got the idea to do this with felt puppets from Daria. Like the muppets.

"And now boys and girls, tonight's edition of Vital Information For Your Every Day Life will be done entirely with felt puppets."

...

It was a beautiful day in the broadcasting network building as Tenzil Kem prepared to do his Earth Day Special.

"Mornin' Sue!" Tenzil waved a felt hand to Sue the secretary. "Isn't it a beautiful day in the broadcasting network building?"

"It sure is Mistah Tenzil, especially since you prepared to do your Earth Day Speical!" Sue replied, trying to smile but could not since her felt face could not convey any emotion.

But, suddenly, Tenzil gasped, as he realized that Earth Day was yesterday!

"Earth Day was yesterday!"

And he looked around at the deplorable mess in the studio.

"What a deplorable-okay at any point in this stupid thing am I going to stop repeating the plot descriptopn?" Tenzil asked.

Shut up! I'm the author and you do what I say or someone's getting replaced by talking chipmunks!

"Oh curse you writers and your ability to control the fabric of time and space." Tenzil shook his felt fists in anger.

Damn right.

Then Tenzil started punching himself in the face.

"Ow! OW!" He cried. "Alr-OW-ight I get the-OW-THE POINT!" He screamed, his felt face black and blue.

Okay then. Anyway...

Then Johnny the gopher-

"Is he an actual gopher?" Tenzil asked.

No.

"Ohhhh." Tenzil moaned.

Live with it.

Anyway, Johnny came running in, his felt face trying to look frantic.

"Mister Kem, Mister Kem!" He cried.

"What is Johnny, with your felt face trying to look frantic?" Tenzil asked.

"Come look outside!" He waved to the front doors, and Tenzil rushed beside him to the front doors.

SLAM!

They swung open, and Tenzil gasped in shock at what a horrible mess he saw.

"Gasp! What a horrible mess I saw!" Tenzil moaned.

Even with Earth Day behind us, the entire city was mess. Papers, plastic bags, empty and half empty drinking cans, and other such garbage everywhere.

"The entire city is a mess!" Tenzil cried.

"There's trash everywhere!" Johnny cried.

"Hey how come he doesn't have to repeat everything?!" Tenzil yelled.

Because you're my b!tch.

"Wait, I know how we can get people to think green!" Tenzil cried as he a lightbulb popped above his head. And then fell and cracked on his head. "Ow!"

Sorry.

"You did that on purpose!"

Prove it.

Anyway...

Tenzil decided to launch a huge campaign to get people to think green.

"I will launch a huge campaign to get people to think green!" He said, blood dripping from his forehead.

So, he had the printing presses turned on, and the printers went straight to work to spread the word of green. The rolled on and on for forty days and forty nights. Tenzil stopped at not expense to tell of the dangers of pollution. And no tree avoided his fanatical reign as even the rarest redwood was pulped for publication.

"Faster! Faster!" Tenzil yelled to the child slaves printing his periodicals on thinking green. He was growing antsy. "I am going antsy!"

"But sir, they children, they hunger!" Johnny told him.

"Bah!" Tenzil yelled, knowing what to do. "I know what to do!"

And he threw Johnny to the hungry crowd.

"AAHHH!!! Tell my wife I lo-" Johnny couldn't finish as the children devoured his vocal chords.

And so, Tenzil decided to finish his campaign with a tiicket-tape parade throughout the city.

"I will finish my campaign with a ticket-tape parade throughout the city!"

And so he did, as float after float went through the city, spreading the joy of recycling, millions and millions of flyers and posters flying through the air, as Tenzil sat in a gold throne ontop a large limo, Johnny's wife by his side, as people cheered him and the Tenzil dancers on. When, suddenly, the brakes went out on Tenzil's car and it went madly throughout the crowds.

"The brakes went out!" Tenzil screamed.

"How could this be?!" The driver said.

"I did it for Johnny!" Johnny's wife did say. "I couldn't prove you killed him, so I'm taking you with me when I saw him, in HELL!!"

Tenzil screamed as he flew out of the car before it crashed.

"AAAAHHH!!!"

The car toppled over, and a fire ignited. A fire which spread through the millions of papers that he had thrown throughout the city. The inferno raged for days, killing all in it's path. It devoured the schools...

"No!"

The stores...

"No!"

The strip clubs...

"DEAR GOD NOOOOOO!!!!!"

And the IRS.

"YAY!!!"

There was no way to stop it, as it engulfed ever man, woman and child in it's path.

"AAAHHHH!!! AAAAHHHH!!!"

Their felt arms wriggling around in horror, their flap mouthes opening up in down in screams of unholy terror.

The news reports around the globe said

"AAAHHHHH!!!!!"

And the Legion of Super-Heroes could not do anthing about it, because they, they just couldn't, alright?! That good enough for you?!

"Alright." Tenzil said.

And soon the entire planet became one big fireball, an unholy inferno of death and destruction as every living thing was stripped of it's flesh and burned to the bone in an offering to war, terror, and death!!!

...

"And that, children, is why you should recycle."

Tenzil closed the book about the Worst Earth Day Ever, looking down at the little children and their pale faces drawn with terror.

"Remember, think green. THINK!! GREEN!!!!" Tenzil shouted the last two words, like his good friend Sir Raven on Billy & Mandy.

The children ran off screaming into the night.

"This has been Tenzil Kem with Vital Information for Your Every Day life."