Healing To Your Life

by pdsldl

This story begins with Trip and T'Pol grieving for their daughter. Their relationship had just begun. Now they must find a way to rebuild their life with each other and their friends. Will not be completed.

2. Chapter 2

Healing to Your Life – Chapter 2

The shuttle went up, then dropped, only to go back up again. Three waves of this hit in quick succession sending T'Pol forward out of her seat forcing Trip to grab her upper arm to keep her from hitting the floor while trying to keep a tight grip on the back of his own seat. "Travis?" Trip yelled to the pilot.

"Sorry sir, we hit a few air pockets. I'll try to go around if I see anymore." Trip helped T'Pol strap herself in before moving to the front of the pod taking the seat next to the Ensign. He took readings from all the sensors seeing no signs of disturbances. Quietly he admonished Travis letting his irritation come through. "I like a roller coaster ride, but you could have suggested we strap in for safety. In the future we'd appreciate a heads up before becoming involved in your pranks."

Travis knew that Malcolm and Trip were friends so he tried to keep him out of his pranks. "Like I said sir, we hit a rough patch, but I'll be more careful in the future."

Malcolm looked positively miserable. He'd put his belt on when he boarded the shuttlepod and it was a good thing because it was the only thing holding him in his seat. He was bent so far forward Trip was sure the tension of the strap across his stomach must be cutting off his circulation.

Captain Archer watched as his senior officers stepped out of the shuttlepod. T'Pol came out first carrying several items. Trip followed laughing back over his shoulder chastising Malcolm about 'not dishing it out if he couldn't take it and not expecting any sympathy from him.'

The two senior officers seemed lighter somehow than when he'd last seen them. His tactical officer's face was deathly white. He came out slightly bent over then dropped his head until it was almost between his knees. Archer thought he might be sick, but before that became a reality the Lieutenant stood up and took off at a dead run down the corridor.

"Is he alright?" the Captain asked.

"The doc will have him fixed up in no time. Just a bit of motion sickness." Trip knew Malcolm always carried hypos Dr. Phlox prepared to prevent these episodes. Travis must have done something to his med kit.

When Tucker bent down to pick up his own gear Archer saw his sandal clad foot. There was a large bandage over a laceration and the rest of the visible area had varying coloration from yellow to purple. "You should go see Phlox about that foot." He suggested as he pointed to Trip's injury.

A visit to sickbay was definitely not in his plans anytime soon. Phlox knew how Trip felt about T'Pol from before he transferred to Columbia. He still wanted to know why only Trip and T'Pol were not affected by the Orion's pheromones. Without thinking he had as much as admitted they had been intimate when Elizabeth's existence became known by suggesting she could have gotten pregnant and not told him. The doctor didn't miss much and he sure wouldn't misunderstand that comment. He and T'Pol were spending so much time together that no one had to tell him they were together.

Even if he disregarded this and all his feelings about doctors there was still the problem of how much more could he learn if he scanned them. T'Pol didn't know, but her research suggested that his brain scans might be significantly different now that they were bonded. Of all his patients Trip was the one who he would notice such changes in. He had detailed scans of his brain because of the transplant from Sim.

"It's been a while since I let something heal the old fashioned way, but it wasn't that bad and T'Pol has been taking care of it for me. Doc couldn't do anything to make it any better." Trip picked up the rest of the gear and moved to the doorway.

Archer knew not to push him. He'd already tried that and Trip pushed back. "If you say so. You're both off duty for one more week. I mean it Trip. No visits to Engineering for any reason."

"I'll stay away if you'll look at my specs for rerouting power from the main in 15A. It's the only way to keep it from shorting out. I want to get started on it as soon as I'm back to work." Whenever the power requirements reached a certain level it caused an overload and the whole section went down putting out power to crew quarters and the corridors on B and C deck.

"T'Pol didn't you have problems with the specs he gave you?" She told Archer that she was sure the fix wouldn't work the way Trip believed it would.

"I still do, but the Commander has given me his word that he will conduct all the test I require before he implements any changes." She had gotten him to agree to further testing by agreeing to their bet on the outcome of Trip's latest project.

"Okay, I'll take a look and let you know." Archer would like to know how T'Pol had gotten him to run more tests. He always ran several simulations before submitting his plans and had always refused to do more tests unless ordered too.

"Thanks Captain."

"Are you two free for dinner Wednesday night or would you rather wait another week?" Jon assumed Trip had told her about their discussion.

Trip and T'Pol hadn't discussed his proposal to Jon about dinner, so when T'Pol inquired as to what time he was surprised.

"18:00 as always."

"Sounds good to me." Trip said as he moved farther down the corridor with T'Pol not far behind.

Captain Archer could see that they were both in much better shape. He felt good about making them leave the ship even though the whole experience hadn't gone the way he had hoped.

----

Malcolm didn't show up for dinner. They had agreed to meet in the mess hall before they left the planet. After several attempts to contact him on the comm Trip had the computer locate him. When Trip arrived on D deck he heard his crew working before he saw them. They were removing the door with torches.

Rostov explained to his boss that somehow the locking mechanism had been tampered with so the door could not be opened. Rostov went on to inform the Commander that he, Hess, and this team had also been trying to solve another problem on the bridge. It seemed that while he was on the planet someone had managed to do something to the navigation station. When Travis took his seat at the station an odor like vomit emanated from somewhere. They had been unable to determine where the odor emanated from or what, besides the Ensign's presence, triggered it. Trip knew Malcolm must be using something to scan biosigns to determine when Travis was on duty, but he had no idea where the smell could be coming from. When the door came off a loud screeching sound could be heard from the comm unit. It was unclear if the unit was in pieces because it had been making that noise or if it was making the noise because it was in pieces.

Malcolm stormed out of his quarters. "Wait till I get my hands on him. I had to beat on my door for an hour before someone heard me and called engineering to get me out me. And stop that bloody noise."

"You would only have been there a little longer. I came to find out why you didn't show for dinner." Trip watched as his friend tried to relax himself. "Do the breathing T'Pol taught you. It will help." After he calmed down some Trip tried to talk to him. "Mal, this thing with you and Travis is getting out of hand. According to Rostov this is the second time my guys have had to deal with one of your practical jokes."

"What are you talking about?" Malcolm was clearly frustrated.

"Evidently the navigation station has been rigged to smell whenever Travis is there. Engineering hasn't been able to fix it after tearing the unit apart. We have enough problems keeping this ship together and running smoothly without you two creating problems and more work?"

Dinner was silent. Trip and T'Pol ate their meal without interrupting Malcolm's attack on his plate while fuming to himself. Trip wanted to laugh at how much Travis had gotten under his skin, but knew better. He could see just how angry Mal was and knew that he was planning a way to retaliate. It would be big and Trip wanted no part of it. He knew what happened when Malcolm lost his temper. In one way or another things blew up. He just hoped there would be no further damage to Enterprise's systems. He found it ironic that the two people he considered his very best friends were the two he would never want angry at him because they were extremely dangerous when they were not in control.

The second day back Captain Archer called a staff meeting in his ready room. requesting that Trip and T'Pol attend even though they were off duty. They both noticed immediately that there were staff present that were not usually included in such meetings.

No one seemed to know why the captain had called them together. Once he entered the room his senior staff knew this was not going to be a pleasant experience. They weren't sure if he was in I am Captain and must maintain discipline mode or truly upset, but it didn't really matter the result was the same.

"It has come to my attention that members of this crew have been participating in an ill-advised series of practical jokes. There's a door hidden in Commander Tucker's office that has some rather interesting dents in it. I'm told it was on our tactical officer's quarters until yesterday. No one seems to want to tell me what happened to it. There's also this strange odor on the bridge coming from the navigation station. When I spoke to the engineering crew about that they informed me they had been trying to track down the strange odor for over a week, but the phenomenon only occurs when Ensign Mayweather is on duty."

The captain took several deep breaths, looking around the room before he continued. He wanted to see those who were guilty squirm. "While I understand the need to blow off a little steam it is not acceptable for anyone on this crew to cause damage to this ship. The odor on MY bridge will disappear as mysteriously as it appeared and any other damage will be corrected by day's end." His voice went up a notch in volume. "If anything like this happens again I will make it my mission to find out who knew anything about what happened and have them all court-martialed for every offense I can possibly think of. Is that clear?" Archer had considered questioning each of them but discovered that it would take a considerable amount of time. The crew was being especially quiet about this whole affair so he really didn't know who if anyone had been aiding Reed and Mayweather. All he knew for sure was that engineering had covered for them after the fact. He simply had to make it clear that such behavior would not be tolerated.

"Yes, sir," came the automatic reply from every person in the room.

"Dismissed."

As the crew left the Captain asked Reed, Mayweather, Tucker, and T'Pol to stay. "Lieutenant Reed it seems someone tampered with our computer system and your security protocols. You and Ensign Mayweather are to correct the problem. Do nothing else until it is corrected. Understood?"

The Lieutenant understood perfectly. "Yes, sir." Travis added his own "Yes, sir," his eyes seeking to examine his shoes.

"Once that is done you are both to conduct Level A diagnostics to navigation then to tactical without the assistance of any other crew members. Keep me informed of your progress. You're both dismissed." The captain ordered them to work together everyday. Level A diagnostics included checking every detail of their systems. With just two of them it would take a week or more in navigation and then the same in tactical.

Without waiting for a response the captain turned his attention to Trip and T'Pol. "I know neither of you had anything to do with this, but you both needed to be aware of what has been going on. Trip your engineers knew what those two were up to."

"Rostov told me about it when Malcolm got locked in his quarters. From what he said they only tried to clean up their mess. They didn't help them before that." He wasn't totally sure of that, but it would be addressed as soon as he returned to duty.

"Were you going to inform me?" Regardless of his friendship with Malcolm Trip needed to know that as captain he expected to be informed if the ship was involved.

The answer was no, but Trip needed to deliver that news with some finesse. "I wanted to try to reason with them before involving you. They were friends playing innocent practical jokes when this started. I don't know when or why that changed."

"T'Pol, I take it you agreed with him?" She must have or she would have brought it to his attention. Duty came first and her duty was to Enterprise. Or it always had been before.

"The Commander did not discuss this with me, so I could not agree or disagree." She hadn't lied to the Captain. Trip hadn't told her about what Rostov said, but she would have let Trip handle it before going to the Captain if he had told her. He had a way of working with people and if he thought he could get them to listen she would have let him try.

"In the future I expect you both to keep me apprised of anything that causes damage to this ship." Archer was relieved. His first officer still put the ship first.

"I will, sir." Trip told him.

T'Pol nodded her head in agreement.

"I have something else to show you. I thought about waiting, but you have a right to know what's going on." He handed Trip a padd.

Trip began to read the report from Starfleet about Terra Prime and another group on Earth that had been protesting around Starfleet Headquarters and various other government buildings. There were also reports of attacks on non-humans on Earth. Several members of Terra Prime that had been with Paxton were currently being tried for a variety of crimes. The doctor and the guards that had helped create Elizabeth were amongst them. Two of the defendants had been acquitted of all charges due to a lack of evidence even though they had been captured on Orpheus with Paxton. As he read the report Jon could see his anger building. Just when he was sure Trip would let loose he laid the padd down, turned, and walked to the window. He stood there with his back to them. Jon could see the effort he was making to control his breathing.

T'Pol picked up the padd and began reading it. When Trip returned to his previous spot next to her she handed the padd to him. "You need to read the whole report." She told him as he took it back showing no signs of being angry.

"I know." Trip knew he needed to do this. He needed to read it. He needed practice keeping his emotions in check until they were alone.

Trip finished reading the report before handing it to Jon. "Look, I know you're trying to help, but I really don't want to read the day to day reports. All I want to know is that there's no more of our DNA out there anywhere, that Paxton is going to rot locked up somewhere, and if there's anymore traitors on Enterprise. Can Starfleet Intelligence do that?" Who had given Paxton their DNA in the first place was still in question. Paxton implied some on board Enterprise sympathized with his cause. Worrying about the rest of it made it impossible for Trip to let it go. It would be so easy to let it swallow him up, but he wasn't going to let it happen again.

"I'm sure Admiral Gardner can get them to keep you updated on those issues if that's what you want."

"That's what I want." Without saying another word Trip left.

"Is he going to be okay, T'Pol?"

"Yes, captain." T'Pol knew he was headed to her quarters to meditate and be alone.

"I'm worried. He tries to bury his emotions and then they explode."

"He will express his emotions in an appropriate manner. Is there anything else?" She would not say anymore. This was Trip's personal business. It was his place to discuss any details with the Captain.

"No. I'll see you later." As she left Jon thought about the relationship between his two most senior officers. He suspected they were more than friends. If they were and Starfleet or the Vulcans found out it would only cause problems for him and them. The crew had been speculating for months, but the more involved the two seemed to get the quieter the gossip got. Or maybe the more tragedy the two suffered the more protective the crew got. As captain he would never be privy to that type of information unless he actively sought it out. He never would. His position did not require he act on speculation.

----

T'Pol remained wrapped in Trip's arms after a long session of meditation to calm them both after reading the report on Terra Prime.

"Darlin, how are we going to be together without letting anyone know? I've been practically living here and I really want to continue, but if the crew starts talking we're done." He hadn't been able to sleep when he was alone, in weeks, and he really didn't want to try.

"I hear the crew whispering, but not as much anymore. They believed we were a couple even before we did. If we're discreet I believe the crew will respect our privacy. The Captain is who we must be concerned about. You've known him longer than I have. Will he tell Starfleet if he were to discover our relationship?"

"I'd like to think he wouldn't just tell them unless there was a reason too. I really don't know. We just can't give him any reason to ask. I really need to talk to Malcolm. He can help with all of this, but he's going to be busy for a while. I have a feeling Jon isn't done with him and Travis."

"Why didn't Captain Archer pursue that matter further?"

"I don't know. Maybe he figured this way he could stop them before he had to put them both in the brig and risk Starfleet making him bring them up on charges." Trip had been saying that a lot lately when Jon was involved. There was a time when he would have known exactly what Jon would do and why. Asking why now might sway him to look into it further, so Trip wouldn't ask.

----

Dinner with the Captain started with all three being tense. Looking at them now it was hard to believe they had eaten dinner together most every night for two years. When their meals were brought in they all felt relief that they had something to do.

Jon finally broke the silence. "I heard you two had quite a session the other night in the rec room. Word has it that some of the crew thought one of you might get hurt."

"Yeah, it might have seemed like that I guess. T'Pol let me vent a little of my anger. We were both in protective gear, so no one would get hurt."

"Is that the most effective way to deal with your anger?" Working yourself up into a highly emotional state seemed dangerous to Archer. Trip's temper tantrums were preferable to him physically injuring someone.

"We tried several methods and this is what works. My reflexes and training make it possible for me to work with Commander Tucker in this way. I am in no danger and even find it beneficial for keeping my skills sharp. He will not employ such a method with anyone else." T'Pol tried to ease the captain's concern. They had tried the treadmill, the punching bag, and sparring before T'Pol suggested the staffs. They suited up and she went on the defensive while Trip attacked with all the force of his anger until he had nothing left. By the time he fell to the floor unable to catch his breath his anger had subsided. It was as he recovered that they became aware of the room full of crew watching them. Most made comments about how much he had improved in his training. They had no way of knowing that his partner and he were using their bond to sense each others movements.

"I'll have to trust you know what you're doing. Be careful." He'd let them continue, but he also intended to speak to Phlox. If either of them showed up in sickbay with injuries from these workouts he wanted to know immediately. Their conversation moved on to the planet they had just been on and then on to water polo. A subject Jonathan Archer loved to talk about.

-----

Trip woke in the night to find T'Pol sitting in the corner on the bed with her arms holding her legs tucked up under her chin, rocking. A dream woke him. He felt like he had been in a shower and some creature threw him against the wall and began choking him. As he tried to maneuver around behind T'Pol he realized it wasn't his dream it was hers. She was unresponsive and he had to lift her up to move her away from the wall so he had room to wrap himself around her. He pulled the blanket up over her as he held her tightly and rocked.

Trip reached across her body to pull her closer. "T'Pol what's wrong. You're blocking me out and you're scaring me." The terror rolled off her and swept over him.

She just kept rocking. Trip kept talking to her. "Darlin, tell me what's wrong. I can't help if you don't talk to me. That dream was yours. You've been having it for months haven't you?"

Her body stopped moving and a shiver ran through them both. "How do you know that?"

"I've had this dream before. I thought it was mine, but could never figure out what it was about. I've had a lot of dreams about you, but this is the only one where I get attacked. This is the first time I remembered the whole dream. That's why you kept pushing me away. That's you attacking me isn't it?" He'd only ever sensed T'Pol was there, but then came the attack, which woke him up.

"Yes."

"You're afraid you'll lose control and harm me. Why?" Why did she think she'd hurt him like that. She'd been angry at him several times and he'd never felt threatened. "I used to think whatever was wrong was because of the expanse, but we've been out of there long enough that I know that's not it. Then I thought it was this bond, but you were having problems before that. You told me it would take awhile to regain your control and you couldn't do it by yourself, so let me help. And why do I keep getting the feeling this is as good as your control gets?"

She didn't say a thing, but he heard her loud and clear just the same. "Damn, don't you ever try to tell me Vulcans don't feel again." He could feel fear. Fear that he would reject her or find her less desirable. Fear that others would find out what she'd done. She tried to pull away from him.

Trip slid himself around so he could look into her eyes. He took her face into his hands. "You need to listen to me. I don't need to know everything. I've known for a long time now that something happened and you've been afraid to talk to me about it. You never have to tell me anything and I won't ask, but I need to understand what's wrong. Why is this happening now?" The answer to his last question came through as she thought about it. His emotions hadn't been spilling into their bond leaving T'Pol with nothing to occupy her mind. He gained control and she began losing it.

"You are correct in your assessment of my emotional control. I can no longer suppress all my emotions. It may never get any better than it is. There are several reasons for this, but I don't know if I can...." Was it that she didn't trust him? Did she trust his feelings for her?

She decided to just start talking. She told him about Silik and his torture to find information about the Captain. Then she told him about Tolaris, the mind meld, Pa'nar Syndrome, and T'Pau's meld to repair the damage. He already knew that Rajiin had done something to her. She told him how she had broken down her controls and accessed parts of her memory. What exactly she had wanted T'Pol never knew. The Reptilians had sent her aboard Enterprise to use her abilities to gather information about Humans so they could complete their biological weapon. No one knew why she had attacked T'Pol. It made no sense. What could a Vulcan tell her about human biology?

When she got to the part that involved the addiction she stopped. This would be difficult to explain. She couldn't form the words to tell him.

Trip felt her body shaking. He could feel her teeth clenched so tight his jaw began to hurt. "You gotta help me here T'Pol." His arms were holding her as tightly as possible. "Whatever you need to do to suppress it, do it. I don't want to know."

He just wanted T'Pol to stop letting it tear her apart. Whatever it was it had to have happened in the expanse. That place had cost them all too much and he wasn't willing to let it cost them anymore. He couldn't lose her now.

Desperate he pleaded with her. "Tell me how to help you. I'll do whatever you need me to do, just tell me." Tears were running down his face. Pain seared through his chest. The fear was mixed with the pain of loss. He felt her tears. Finding their children only to lose them before they had time to even appreciate their existence. There was so much pain Trip couldn't begin to understand how she kept from screaming. He closed his eyes and put everything he had into taking the pain he felt and pushing it behind the door he had created. He'd deal with it later. Once he had accomplished the task he turned all his energy to aiding T'Pol in putting her emotions behind her Vulcan version of the door. The effort began to take its toll, but he refused to give up. He pushed himself until he felt T'Pol's fear recede. The pain remained, but it became manageable enough that meditation would suffice to handle it.

"Is that all of it? Is there's anything else that you fear like that?"

"There is no more." T'Pol began to relax. Her body fell back into Trip.

"No more nightmares?"

"No more." Her body relaxed. She was emotionally drained. "Thank you."

He could feel how tired she was. "You never have to thank me for doing for you what you've been doing for me since Lizzie died? Besides, I love you. Taking care of you and protecting you are part of what that means."

Neither of them spoke for the longest time. Trip laid his head on her shoulder while he ran through what she had just shared with him. So much made sense to him now. He had spent months trying to bury his feelings after Lizzie died and deny his feelings for T'Pol. She had spent months trying to deal with blow after blow to her control and deny her feelings for him. He was afraid of being hurt and she was afraid of hurting him. They made a hell of a team when they weren't working against each other.

"Remember I told you that Vulcans had to suppress their emotions or they would overwhelm us?" T'Pol needed him to understand what her difficulties were.

"Yes. I was standing there crying and you actually said I was to be envied. I don't think I'll ever forget that."

"What happened to the crew on the Seleya is what all Vulcans fear. They had no control much like our ancestors. I cannot allow myself to lose control. To become like them. The damage to my neural pathways has made it impossible for me to effectively use the techniques I have always used. I must learn new ways to deal with these emotions. You are learning to control your emotions more like a Vulcan and I must learn to control mine more like a human."

"So you want to learn how I deal with these emotions. I haven't been very successful at dealing with them. How is that going to help you?"

"Vulcans need to suppress their emotions. Humans don't need to, but you try to anyway. It causes you harm, but it won't harm me. I need you to teach me how you 'bury' these emotions." That was the term Captain Archer used when referring to Trip's handling of his emotions. She knew he did this, but she also knew that at times what others perceived as him burying his emotions was him keeping them to himself. He had not shared his strongest emotions with anyone until T'Pol. She had not fully understood this until recently. She thought he was that open book everyone said he was. But he showed the world exactly what he wanted them to see without even thinking about it. All she had been teaching him was how to use the control he already possessed with his strongest negative emotions in extreme conditions. Keeping his emotions off his face wouldn't be difficult either. He had kept his body from betraying his feelings for her in the most intimate of circumstances for months. If he had the control to keep her from seeing it, he could keep them hidden from the crew. She just had to go through the motions of teaching him and let his natural ability take over.

Trip tried thinking about his emotions. Seeing them as something tangible in his mind. He had taken all the anger and all the other feelings he hadn't been able to deal with when the Xindi attacked and placed them behind a door in his mind. "I give my emotions physical form in my head and put them in a place in my mind behind a door. It just happens, so I don't know if I can tell you how to do it. The problem is I keep putting them behind that door until the room gets so full or the emotions get so strong that the door won't stay shut anymore."

T'Pol used his imagery to explain her dilemma. "I must get my emotions behind that door. Once they are there suppressing them is not a problem. My problem is getting them there without your assistance." She couldn't rely on him for her control. There was too great a risk that he wouldn't be available or able to help every time she needed assistance. If that happened she could hurt those around her and she could never allow that.

Trip became apprehensive. Would that mean when she learned new techniques she would suppress all her emotions? Would things be the same between them?

Suddenly he felt her guiding him to a place in her mind. "Do you feel that?"

He could feel all the feelings that centered around him. Fear, anxiety, concern, protectiveness, need, desire, and love were the strongest. "I feel it."

"That is the place I keep you. I have learned from you how to keep my feelings for you separated in my mind, protected from everything else. You are a part of me now. I must learn to control these feelings so I am not overwhelmed, but I will never suppress them again. I was never successful at suppressing them even when I tried. I don't think I ever would have been able to even if I had not lost some of my control." She knew this was true. Her interactions with him had always been different than with any other member of the crew. When the doctor suggested neuro-pressure with Trip she still had her control. She may have told herself then that she agreed to it to help a fellow officer cope, but that wasn't the truth. She wanted to spend time with him. As much as she had tried to deny her feelings and pretend they didn't exist they would not go away.

Trip felt a weight lift from them both. "For the first time I know we're going to make this work, darlin." He turned her head and kissed her.

-----

The mess hall would be open soon. After taking a shower they went to have breakfast. Malcolm was sitting alone in the corner. Trip went to join him while T'Pol got his coffee and her tea.

"Morning, Mal."

"Is it morning?"

"Sounds like you're having a rough day, already."

"I've had several and expect to have several more. Travis and I finally fixed the security protocols he managed to bypass. We're starting the diagnostics in navigation in an hour."

"What did you do to the navigation station? I know you must have used a power cell to power one of the biosign sensors in the chair. How did you get the smell to work?"

"The smell came from the droppings of one of Phlox's pets. I made several new dials for the station that held them inside. When the sensors detected Travis they opened the containers and allowed the odor to be released. When he left they closed again. I haven't removed them, yet. I've only had time to disconnect the power to the sensor." Captain Archer made it clear that the smell had better be gone so he'd done the quickest thing he could without getting caught red-handed. Being suspected of the prank was much different than it being a proven fact.

That explained why his teams couldn't locate the odor. "You're more creative than I gave you credit for. How are things working out with Travis?" Trip hoped they would patch up their friendship, but at least they needed to call a truce.

"We're working it out. This whole thing got so out of hand and I don't really know why."

"I wish I'd been paying more attention. Maybe I could have stopped you."

Exasperation shown on Malcolm's face and in his voice. "You were barely taking care of yourself. You're my friend not my bloody keeper." Why did he always think he had to take care of everybody else at the expense of himself.

"Well, I'm better now, so if you need anything let me know."

Malcolm needed to talk about anything else. "I hear you are deadly with a staff."

"Yeah, a new anger management technique T'Pol and I are working on."

He didn't usually approve of mixing weapons and anger, but in this instance it seemed to be the outlet Trip needed. "Whatever works." Malcolm had to be on the bridge in a few minutes. "I have to go. By the way I have an idea for modifying the security sweeps. I'll send them to T'Pol's quarters. Could you both take a look and see what you think?"

"Sure. Major changes?"

"Yeah. It makes them more efficient but also eliminates the need to create a record of the location of each crew member and log it."

"Eliminating the need for all that data collection would be more effective." Malcolm had a way to maintain security without leaving a record of the crew's private lives for Starfleet. "Thanks Mal."

"I told you I'd figure out what we needed to do. If I weren't buried with these diagnostics I wouldn't have needed you to look it over. I assume you're going to continue residing in your current location?"

"If you mean T'Pol's, then yes."

"Then we need to do something about the comm system. Can't have the Captain tracking you down there whenever he needs to contact you."

"I have a way around that I think, but I need to find a power source for a couple of relays." Trip had been floating the problem around in his head. He needed to be back in Engineering to find the solution.

"I'll leave that to you then. Just let me know what you've done." Malcolm wanted to know how everything he was responsible for worked, if possible.

-----

T'Pol had just finished her shower, turning the water off, as Trip entered her room. When she stepped out of the stall he stood there holding a towel, which he promptly wrapped around her before drying her from head to toe. Once she was dry he lifted her off her feet carrying her into the other room and laying her gently down across the bed. As he took in every inch of her naked flesh desire traveled in both directions through the bond. Trip reached down and began slowly moving his hands up and down her body. He laid down next to her and continued his deliberate exploration to find her most sensitive areas. As he proceeded he became aware of her thoughts. She was fascinated that he would take the time to discover how best to please her. He also became aware that this was also an exploration for her of her own bodies responses. Their night together had been her first. He wished he'd known that at the time. He would have taken more time.

Trip moved away slightly and began removing his own clothing. "I hope you didn't have any plans this evening because I seem to remember a promise to give you my undivided attention and make our first time special. I have every intention of fulfilling that promise and it may take me all night."

"This is not our first time."

"Let's table this discussion until morning. By then you'll know the difference between then and now."

T'Pol leaned in and kissed him. "I assume you are prepared to demonstrate the difference."

His hands were moving as his lips sought out hers. "As many times as you like."

Trip woke to the smell of coffee. He eyes squinted trying to avoid the light from the computer screen T'Pol was sitting in front of. She turned as she sensed him waking. She knew he would wish to remain in bed for some time. They had napped off and on all night between exploring the new found sensations their mutual passion brought to their bond. Trip liked their bond from the first, but he never wanted to be without it now. In one night, after he convinced T'Pol to let go of her control, they had learned to manipulate the sensations and let them build until they could no longer withstand the need for release. He couldn't imagine what they could accomplish over time.

He needed 5-6 hours of sleep or he became cranky. This being Thursday he did not have to go to the gym. He would workout with Malcolm this evening so he would sleep in today. Giving in to the inevitable T'Pol removed her robe, snuggled against his warmth, and listened to his breathing. The slow, easy movement of his chest in and out confirmed he had returned to sleep. As she let herself relax into the comfort of his arms around her, the realization of just how much Trip had become a part of her took root.

After rewriting the end of T'Pol's dream in the shower Trip made a trip to the mess hall. He would have stayed in bed the rest of the day, but his body needed energy to replace what he had burned for the last several hours. He stood at the table selecting meals for himself and T'Pol. As he made his final choice Malcolm snuck up behind him. "You might want to turn up that collar." Malcolm said pointing to the back of Trip's neck.

"What?" Trip tilted his head down and moved his eyes trying to see what Malcolm was pointing to.

"Unless you want to advertise what you and T'Pol have been up to I suggest you turn up your collar. There aren't any reasonable explanations for this bright red area on the back of your neck that I'm aware of. Add to that the amount of food you have there and the scuttlebutt about you two wouldn't be idle speculation anymore."

"Great. We need to be discreet and T'Pol decides to tell the world I belong to her."

"Maybe it was an accident." Although looking at the size of the area she had marked it was doubtful.

It wasn't an accident. T'Pol's reaction to the conversation as Trip allowed it to go through their bond confirmed this. She knew exactly what she had done and hadn't considered the consequences. While he liked the idea of her being possessive toward him, she had no reason to mark her territory. The Orions had made it clear no other woman stood a chance of eliciting any response from him.

"When was the last time a girl accidentally gave you a hickey. I'll see you later." All the way back he could hear T'Pol saying she was sorry and would refrain from marking him in the future. When he got to her room he put down the tray, gathered her up into his arms kissing her. He'd cover the marks if he had to.

"You said you needed energy."

"I seem to have found my second wind." As he deepened his kiss and moved his hands under her shirt.

----

Lt. Hess loaned the chief her racquetball equipment after observing his workout with T'Pol. The fact that he seemed to prefer more aggressive full out physical activity made her suggest he give it a try. Malcolm met him in the cargo bay where several of the crew had built a front wall like an outdoor court. Hess had spent some time explaining the basics of the game earlier. The two friends spent 2 hours smacking the ball around. Having enjoyed the intensity and challenge they both decided they needed to invest more time in learning the game. Trip commented that he'd never seen Hess nursing welts like theirs so either she didn't play much or her reflexes were much quicker when it came to avoiding the hollow piece of rubber.

Malcolm stopped by T'Pol's to drop off some ointment and a waterproof paste that would cover any discolored areas. Phlox had given them to him when he went to see him about the huge welt in the middle of his chest.

When he stepped inside he was surprised to see pictures on the wall. He'd been here once before and there had only been one or two items on the wall. All the pictures, except one could belong to either of them. They included crew and places they had visited since leaving Earth. These weren't pictures T'Pol would bother to keep. They must be Trip's. The one picture that he was sure was T'Pol's was of a Vulcan woman. The resemblance said she was her mother. This room had been decorated with care to reflect both occupants without announcing the fact.

Trip took the medical supplies and laid them on the desk. "T'Pol has a few suggestions for your security sweeps. Something to do with how you incorporate the biosigns of visitors."

T'Pol entered the room. She said 'hello' to Malcolm and sat on the bed next to Trip. Close but not touching.

"Trip says you have some ideas for my security program changes?"

"Yes, I sent them your quarters. I found a way to make the database comparison quicker and less cumbersome. It will aid in justifying the changes by allowing the sweeps to occur in 15 minute intervals."

"If we can sweep the entire ship for unrecognized biosigns every fifteen minutes no one will question the change in protocols." Not to mention Malcolm would be one happy tactical officer. He had simply changed the way the biosigns were confirmed as being valid eliminating the need to locate everyone. T'Pol must have consolidated the information somehow to make the process faster.

"I'll take a look at your changes. We can discuss them once you're both back on duty. Wouldn't want you going against the captain's orders. It wouldn't be a good idea to get on his bad side at the moment."

Trip laughed. "I haven't done any work and I haven't been near engineering either. For the first time in forever I'm having no problem obeying orders."

-----

T'Pol had been at her station all morning resisting the urge to go see Trip. Having been together most of the two weeks had allowed the connection between them to strengthen. His physical presence created a sensation she found she desired. They simply needed to be in the same space. Touching was not necessary, but was not unwelcome when they were alone. Trip had been fighting the same urge. He finally gave in and appeared on the bridge.

"T'Pol, this change you want won't work." Trip informed her as he exited the turbolift.

"What change are you referring to Commander?" T'Pol had been watching the door to the turbolift in anticipation of him coming to see her.

"The one where you redistribute all the power output to all these damn relays."

"There is no need to be crude Commander."

Archer was glad to see his officers back, but did not wish to let their disagreement become antagonistic as they often did.

"Good morning, Commander Tucker."

Trip looked up from the padd in his hands. "Morning, sir." He went back to studying the padd as he continued directly to the science station.

The Captain had second thoughts about their relationship. Maybe they weren't as close as he previously thought. Trip was totally focused on whatever he came to argue with the first officer about. Nothing had changed.

Trip was totally focused, but on not letting on what his purpose for being on the bridge really was. "If you didn't just make changes without explaining them I wouldn't have a need to be crude."

"You are so infuriating. How can you say something that is beyond your understanding will not work."

Hoshi had been watching them intently. Trip became angry, but there was something about his eyes. She saw him shoot a stern look at T'Pol. She had no idea what the look meant, she just knew it had an affect on the Vulcan. Trip had somehow changed the dynamic without saying a word.

Hoshi had not heard the silent plea from Trip. "Darlin, if I'm not supposed to let my emotions get out of control in front of the crew then you can't make me so angry. I love to argue with you, but I can't do both."

At first T'Pol seemed perplexed by his statement. He had been practicing controlling his stronger emotions and had done so very well. Then she felt the undercurrent of amusement he felt because they were arguing. He enjoyed it even when she made him mad. That was what he feared he wouldn't be able to hide while trying to hold his own in their battle of words. That and his pure enjoyment of being close to her.

The banter continued, but Hoshi felt as if an invisible line had been established that neither of the Commanders would cross.

"I apologize for insulting your intelligence, but I find it infuriating when you insist I explain details that you are fully aware you will not understand."

"Apology accepted. And I didn't ask for every detail, just some reasoning for why this is a better idea than mine. You never let me get away with not fully explaining my ideas, so why would you think I'd let you get away with it?"

T'Pol considered her response. "I will take a look at the notations I made and endeavor to add the detail you require."

"You don't need to rewrite anything." With irritation in his voice Trip went on. "Just talk me through what the hell all this means, please."

She glared at him for the use of profanity. "I'll come to engineering when I find the time."

"Thanks." Trip handed her the padd, winked, turned, and exited the bridge.

Archer shook his head. What just happened? They were arguing as usual, then what? Apologies. Please and thank you. And they each conceded to the others valid points. She politely told him she was smarter than him and he let it go. Civil bickering? He wondered how long that would last.

T'Pol entered engineering, searching the area for him. He was here, but she could not see where. She closed her eyes inquiring through the bond to locate him. He was deeply in thought and had pushed the bond to the back of his mind, but she found him in the jeffries tube.

He felt her presence coming closer the minute she left the bridge. He continued what he was doing waiting for her to seek him out. When the door opened he felt a wave delight wash over her. He continued his tasks. She stood there waiting for him to come out. He tried to ignore her. He could block her out, but when she was this close and let her emotions loose on him it was difficult. She reached out and touched his bare leg where his pants had pulled up above his socks. His resistance melted away.

"Damn woman that's not fair."

"Don't humans have a saying 'all's fair in love and war'?"

"Yes, we do, but I'm not sure this is what they had in mind. Is there some reason you came to see me or did you just feel the need to drive me crazy?" The grin on his face said he was glad to see her, but he stayed where he was for fear he'd forget himself and wrap his arms around her.

"I came to discuss the changes that need more explanation."

"You couldn't wait to see me. Admit it."

"I told you I'd come to engineering when I had time."

"We could have discussed this over lunch in a little over an hour. You couldn't wait that long."

"What would I need to wait for?'

"Being near each other. I've been trying to keep myself busy so I can stay away from the bridge."

"So because you are having difficulty you assume I am also."

"You did say this will get easier right?"

"We should be able to be apart for several hours before the bond will cause us any distress. Once the bond has settled we should be able to be a part for several days without any difficulty." That's how it was with Vulcan mates, but with a human she didn't know.

"You just said we. You're having just as much trouble as I am."

"As I told you I came here to explain my changes."

She was never going to admit it and she had blocked him from sensing her feelings. "Well, I don't need you to explain anymore. You can go back to the bridge. I'll see you at lunch."

He was teasing her. "Not until you explain why you no longer need an explanation. Did you suddenly learn higher math?"

She did higher math for him. He could do it, but it took him hours with a calculator while it only took her minutes to do it in her head. "You were right. My calculation was not precise enough and yours fixed my mistake. As for the rest I scrapped both ideas and came up with a whole new one." He pushed his padd to her with his foot. "That's what I just completed here. We can test it in a controlled setting before I attempt it live."

T'Pol studied his new specs. "There is still an excess of power output here."

"Look at the schematics very carefully. I've made use of that excess power." Trip had a need for power to two relays for another more personal project and after he calmed himself he began reworking his specs with T'Pol's corrections and realized with a few adjustments this was the power he needed."

"There are two extra lines running to an unknown location." T'Pol saw his changes.

"They run to B deck. To the comm units of two members of this crew who have a need to reroute the communications to their quarters."

"How is this rerouting to be accomplished?"

Trip pulled himself out of the tube. Reached into his pocket and produced 2 hand held communicators. "There will be two relays, frequency converters, and signal enhancers installed in the comm units that match the frequency in these personal hand held units. When a signal reaches the unit in their quarters it will also be sent to the hand held communicator. One for each crewman."

"A unique approach to solving the problem that will go unnoticed."

"These have been modified to a separate frequency for each of us. They will work anywhere on the ship, but will only work through the comm unit they are synced with when I'm done." They only had to keep the communicators with them when they were in each others quarters. They were sharing her larger first officers quarters, but this would make it possible for her to stay in his if she wished.

"Is your test ready?"

"Yes, I only need to go flip a couple of switches to send power through here. If this works who wins our bet? I've never made a bet with someone who then continued to help me win the bet."

"It would serve no purpose to let you fail simply to avoid watching movies with you. Solving the power problem was necessary and as it turns out it served to assist with another problem."

"So you helped because you didn't find watching movies to be objectionable enough?"

"If our positions were reversed would you not help me?"

Trip thought for a second. "Probably....no that's not right. I'd help you. I enjoy working with you too much to let a bet stop me."

"So what movies are we watching?"

"I haven't won yet."

"Yes, you have. I still want the test, but we both know this will work."

"I'll have to think about it." He had picked out two 'B' westerns that he would enjoy, but T'Pol wouldn't. He decided to find something she would maybe like instead. "By the way I wouldn't point out those 2 extra lines to the captain when you get him to sign off on this." The lines were clearly marked if anyone came back later and questioned them. No one could accuse them of hiding anything just because they weren't obvious. T'Pol noticed every detail usually, but Trip had had to tell her to study the schematics carefully.

"I have the duty rosters and the changes for Malcolm for him to sign off on also. When I give him several items for approval he rarely ask many questions." T'Pol often used this knowledge to get things done in a timely manner. If the captain had time and was bored he would unnecessarily study every detail of a project to the point of trying T'Pol's patience.

The test had gone well. Starfleet had sent orders for them to visit a planet on the edge of the Alpha quadrant. Malcolm and Travis had been returned to their normal routine after completing the diagnostics to tactical. Trip and T'Pol worked together to complete the power reroute. Malcolm and his crew made the changes to the computer to institute the new security sweeps. There were no longer any records of crew activity for review by anyone.

-----

The Vulcans sent information to upgrade Enterprises database. The enhancements were needed so Enterprise could aid the Prisorians at the request of the Vulcan High Command. While the two governments had not established a diplomatic relationship they were well known to each other. Ambassador Soval was the only Vulcan they tolerated, but he was currently not available to travel and assist Ambassador Te'lam of Prisoria in any dealings with other Vulcans so Enterprise was asked to go. According to Admiral Gardner the major cities had been infected with a virus, which had run its course, but left many inhabitants with lasting side effects. The Vulcans insisted that T'Pol and Dr. Phlox had the experience needed to render the assistance required with the information in the database.

Trip wanted to be part of the away team, but Captain Archer felt differently. He chose to go with T'Pol, the doctor, and a three man security team. Trip and Malcolm were in the docking bay when the away team boarded the shuttlepod to leave. Malcolm stood in front of Trip and T'Pol. They used his body to shield their momentary touch of fingers before T'Pol boarded the shuttlepod.

Malcolm followed close behind Trip as he headed to the bridge. Knowing him as he did the tactical officer was sure his friend would be suffering from separation anxiety. He and T'Pol had spent most all their free time together for weeks now and this was the first extended period of time they would be apart since they had acknowledged their bond and strengthened it. Trip sat on the bridge with his eyes closed. He must be talking to T'Pol Malcolm decided when he saw him turn to Hoshi before she announced they were being hailed from the planet by the Captain. After the conversation ended the Commander went into the ready room and paced. Malcolm followed several minutes later.

"How's it going Trip?"

"Not good Mal. This is harder than I thought it would be. My imagination is in overdrive and I'm stuck on the bridge when all I want to do is go find something to keep my mind occupied in engineering." His steps became faster as the distance before each turn in the opposite direction became shorter.

"It will be okay. She'll be okay."

"How many supposed peaceful missions have we gone on where something didn't happen? Someone gets shot or kidnapped or taken prisoner or drawn into somebody else's fight. Keeping our relationship a secret while I'm having a meltdown is a challenge."

"Is T'Pol having as much trouble with this as you?" As the tactical officer he was also apprehensive whenever an away team left the ship because what Trip said was true. In the first 2 years when their mission was one of exploration there were only a handful of encounters with other species that ended well. In the last year it had been no better mostly because they kept ending up in the middle of other people's fights.

He stopped pacing. "Yes and no. She has her Vulcan control working for her, but that's not always up to snuff, especially if she has to cope with my emotional state." That was the main problem. When she had to compensate for his lack of control. "She's quite capable of taking care of herself and I have to remain calm so she can do her job." He'd keep telling himself that until he really believed it.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Malcolm was aware that the only thing that would help would be having T'Pol on the ship. She'd only been gone a little over an hour. What happens tomorrow when he hasn't slept. For now all Malcolm could do was leave him alone.

"Nothing I can think of, but if I do think of something I'll let you know." Trip's attention turned back to his inner thoughts while he paced back and forth.

---

"Trip. Why are you still in the Captain's ready room?"

"I'm fine here."

"You must get some sleep. Go to my quarters. We can meditate together before you go to bed." She didn't know if he would sleep but she knew there was no possibility if he didn't meditate first. "You could go to sickbay and request a sedative."

"I thought about asking for something for my headache. Doc's with you so I should be able to get something without being examined. I'll stop by there on the way to meditate."

The Ensign taking care of sickbay gave him some pain medication, which he wasn't sure would help with this kind of headache, but it couldn't hurt. The sedative he took with him to administer later if he needed it.

When he got to T'Pol's quarters he arranged the cushions and lit the candles to prepare for meditation. He wasn't going to bother with the candles because he didn't use the flame to center himself with. He wanted the atmosphere to be calming and the candlelight would accomplish that so he took the time to arrange them.

When he reached the white space she was already there. He stood across from her waiting until she opened her eyes.

"You are not disturbing me. I have been waiting for you to join me."

"I've been enough of a distraction today, so I didn't want to be more of one. You need to meditate just as much as I do. Probably more because of me."

"We knew this was going to be a challenge. Your mind and body are not trained to deal with a mate bond like a Vulcans would be. This involves both of us and you must not blame yourself when we have difficulty. It does nothing but create more stress in the bond."

"Fine, I'll stop thinking about the fact that I'm human and that it's causing you so much discomfort."

"A Vulcan couple spends a year together letting a bond form properly before they spend anytime apart. They also must allow adjustments to be made before they travel any distance from one another or for any length of time." She'd told him all this before, but he hadn't really listened. "Come sit with me."

Trip went around behind her and positioned himself as if they were going to meditate together. As his arms wrapped around her he could feel the tension leave his body. He hadn't known it was possible to be tense in this place. Usually when he got here he felt relief from any overwhelming feelings he'd been carrying around throughout the day. But usually when he got here he sat quietly as his mind cleared and he processed his emotions. Now they were spending the time talking in this space that they usually did while lying together in their bed.

"So how'd your day go? Did you and the Doc find a way to help?"

"The day was busy. Captain Archer spent his time with Ambassador Te'lam. The Ambassador spoke to me very little. Vulcans are to 'closed off' I believe is the term he used and he has little patience with trying to extract information from us."

Another race who thought Vulcans were difficult. Trip wanted to meet a race who didn't think that. "Well, I can't say I blame him. How many times have we heard that information is classified or been told we're not ready."

"You think we are difficult?"

"Vulcans as a race, yes. You personally, sometimes."

"Humans are also difficult.

He didn't want to end up arguing. "So what did you do today?"

"The doctor examined several of those who were infected to determine the cause of their hardships and I assisted him. Many of them have physical ailments that would seem to be unrelated to the original virus. Others were not affected at all once their systems were free of the illness."

"You're sure this illness is not transmittable to Humans, Vulcans, or Denobulans?"

"Dr. Phlox says it is not. They have been trying to determine where it originated from, but have been unable to find any trace of it." The virus had appeared out of nowhere, spread rapidly through the population, and then it was gone.

Trip knew the doctor and T'Pol both enjoyed solving mysteries of science, but he preferred to stay away from the unexplained. He would have preferred if T'Pol did also, but he knew he couldn't ask her to do that anymore than she would ask him to stop working with warp engines.

"So are you going to be able to sleep down there?" She slept when alone but didn't seem to rest as well and it was even worse for her when he didn't sleep.

"I will try. We should be done here in 24-48 hours. I can meditate if I cannot sleep."

"I'd like to stay right here with you, but you need to try and sleep and so do I. Can't be falling asleep on the bridge."

"It seems your headache is gone. You will not disturb me, so if you need to speak to me for any reason do so." T'Pol wanted to do what she could to make this easier for him.

"Only if you promise to do the same. I'll keep my shields down enough so you can tell what I'm doing."

"I will do the same, so you can be sure you will not be distracting me." T'Pol let him think this was all for him, but she needed the reassurance the increased contact would provide also. Until Trip got over blaming their bonding issues on his being human she would have to remain strong or at least appear to be or there was no chance he would let himself rely on her when he needed to. She had caused him so much hurt in the past that she would prevent him being hurt again if she could.

Trip woke with a start. His headache had returned with a vengeance. He was laying on the meditation pillow. When had he fallen asleep? He'd been with T'Pol. She had him lay his head in her lap while she massaged around his eyes. That's the last thing he remembered. His mind reached out for her. She must be awake already, but he only had a vague sense of her. He sat up trying to concentrate. Nothing. Panic started to set in. He found clean clothes and pulled them on as he entered the corridor. On the bridge he found the night crew going about their duties. No one said anything, but he could feel the odd looks they gave him and each other as he stepped behind T'Pol's station.

"Ensign..." Trip tried to focus on her name tag. He'd seen her in the science lab, even talked to her and he couldn't think of her name.

"Ensign Carpenter, sir."

"Ensign Carpenter, do you still have the away team on sensors?"

The Ensign pointed to the screen. "Of course sir right...." The ensigns words trailed off as she saw that the blips that represented the crew on the surface that should have been on the screen weren't there. "They seem to be gone, sir." How had the Commander known they were missing? And how had she not noticed that they were gone?

"Sound a tactical alert." He needed Hoshi and Malcolm on the bridge now. "Ensign Woods try raising the Captain or Commander T'Pol."

He started trying the minute he heard that they weren't on sensors. "I'm already trying, sir. They aren't responding. I'm trying the Ambassador now Commander."

Malcolm flew off the turbolift. "Trip ... I mean Commander."

"They're missing. Sensors aren't reading their biosigns." Trip informed the tactical officer as he leaned forward with his head in his hands and took in several deep breaths.

Hoshi stepped up to the communications station. Her fingers worked the various buttons and knobs trying to find a comm signal from any of the crew.

Trip stayed at the science station trying to increase the sensors sensitivity. He finally picked up biosigns, but they were all from the inhabitants of the planet and they were not moving. Everyone was unconscious and Enterprise's crew were not among them. The only thing he knew for sure was that T'Pol was alive. He could barely feel her, but he could feel her.

"Are there any ships we could have missed?" Searching for any explanation as to what occurred. An attack of some kind had taken place, but from who?

He had to get off the bridge. He needed to center himself and push his panic aside and think. The bridge was no place to appear to zone out. Wouldn't instill much confidence in the crew. "I'll be in the ready room. Keep scanning for their biosigns and Hoshi keep trying to talk to anybody you can."

When he entered the ready room he sat down and started his breathing. The door chime sounded. A crewman stood there with a tray holding a pot of coffee and breakfast. All his favorites. "I didn't order breakfast crewman. Take it back."

Placing the tray on the desk. "Chef said he received a message from you requesting we send you breakfast here as long as you were acting Captain."

He hadn't sent any message. T'Pol must have done it knowing he would need coffee and would skip breakfast if he didn't get enough sleep. "Thank you. You're dismissed." He didn't have time for this. He returned to his breathing. Maybe he could get a better sense of her or she might even be in their white space.

Malcolm sounded the chime several times just after the crewman from the galley left. He had a pretty good idea about why Trip left the bridge, but he wanted to be sure he was okay. When he got no response he went in. The Commander's eyes opened when the door closed. Malcolm could see the panic in them, but he seemed focused.

"Mal, whatever happened, it woke me up. She woke me up, but I can barely feel her. No one noticed they weren't on sensors anymore." He hoped the Ensign would forget that he had come to the bridge knowing there was a problem before he looked at the screens. He poured some coffee. It would help clear his head and keep him sharp if he didn't drink too much. He could hear T'Pol telling him he needed to eat to keep up his strength, but there wasn't time and he wasn't hungry.

"What are you going to do?" Malcolm knew he would do something. Sitting around waiting was not possible for Trip.

"Put together a team, including you. Were going down there to find them." Sensors may not be able to find them, but Trip could locate T'Pol. Malcolm would want to go and he'd need him to cover while he used the bond to find her.

"Commander Tucker, we have the Ambassador." The comm unit activated.

Trip didn't bother to answer. He went directly to the bridge. Hoshi had already put the Ambassador up on the view screen. "Ambassador, do you know where our people are?" Trip asked not wasting anytime.

"The logs we have been able to access show they were all in their assigned rooms just before we were all rendered unconscious. They are all gone. Our sensors aren't picking up any sign of them. We cannot determine how they were taken or where."

"We're on our way down to help find them. Is there anything you need us to bring with us?"

"I'm sorry, but you do not have clearance to land on the surface. Remain in orbit and we will contact you when we have something to report." The Ambassador took something from a hand that appeared on the screen.

Hoshi saw Trip's anger as he listened to the Ambassador's words. She waited for the explosion that always came when the Commander got like this. But it didn't come. Instead she watched as he closed his eyes and took in deep breaths as if he were trying to force the anger out each time he exhaled. When his eyes opened again if she hadn't seen the steel blue eyes staring back at the view screen she would have sworn she were looking at the face of most any Vulcan she had ever met. No expression on his face or in his eyes. Not one muscle dared move on his face or neck.

"We are going to look for our crew Ambassador with or without your permission."

"I repeat you do not have clearance to land another shuttle on the surface. We will locate your crew." The Ambassador restated his position very emphatically.

Trip hit a button on the arm of the captain's chair ending the transmission. "Change of plans Lieutenant Reed. He said we couldn't land a shuttle, so we'll just have to transport down instead. Have that team meet us in 15 minutes." Trip needed to figure out what coordinates to give the transport operator. He signaled for Reed to follow him.

Once Reed had spoken to his staff Trip quietly spoke to him as he studied the scans of the city below. "Mal, they aren't showing up inside the city on our sensors or theirs. We haven't picked up any ships or shuttles, so they have to be on the surface. We need to decide where to look first. Where's the most likely place shields could be used to hide from sensors."

The tactical officer assessed the area on the city map Trip had superimposed over a topographical map before him. "They might still be in a building somewhere, but they'd be more likely to be discovered. If it were me I'd be in this area north of the city. There appears to be abandoned buildings and underground structures that could be used to hide."

"We'll start there. Once we're on the surface I should be able to get a better sense of where T'Pol is. I'll download this map to both our tricorders just in case." Once he had finished Commander Tucker turned to Hoshi. "Ensign Sato you have the bridge. Try not to contact us unless absolutely necessary. No use alerting anyone that we're there. They'll figure it out soon enough."

"Yes, sir and be careful. I don't mind being temporarily in charge, but I really wouldn't want to do this full time." Hoshi had made great strides in being less timid about being in space, and had done well in the past when left in charge. But only for short periods of time. She knew it took special something to be the captain of a starship and she didn't have it and she didn't want to have it.

"I understand. I'd much rather leave it to Captain Archer myself. We'll be careful and we'll bring them back." He really did understand. He had no desire to take Jon's place ever. He could make life and death decisions if he had to, but for Trip it cost too much of who he was. What was important to him. Now that he understood what was involved he wasn't willing to pay the price to be a captain.

On the way to the transporter Malcolm gave Trip weapons. He noticed Trip exhibited no signs of panic or anger. In fact he was totally focused on their objective. "Are you really as calm as you seem?"

"I'm angry and worried about her, but it's under control, for now. Can't say for how long though. Never had to push it aside and keep it there for this long." He just had to keep breathing and hold that door shut until he could find her.

"If it gets to be too much let me know." Malcolm didn't know what he could do to help, but he'd certainly try. He'd never seen his friend be able to act rationally under this much stress before and he worried that at some point the pressure would build and he wouldn't be able to hold it in. T'Pol had been good for him, but she was also the reason he could finally break into so many pieces he would be lost to them forever.

When they materialized Malcolm sent his team to search the perimeter, while he and the Commander scanned the area. Several minutes later two of the team came back and reported movement in and around an old ruins 1 click south of their current position. The tricorder showed no life signs of any kind.

Once they found cover they surveyed the area. There didn't appear to be any security personnel or any scanners visible. These were not Prisorians, who were walking around but not showing up on sensors. Trip wanted to get a hold of any technology that blocked itself and biosigns from sensors in an open area like this. If they had been dragged into the middle of some fight they might as well get something for their trouble.

"Is T'Pol here?" Malcolm asked.

Trip closed his eyes and focused all his attention on locating her. There she was. The feeling was still faint, but it was stronger and it gave him a sense of which direction to go. "She's that way." Trip pointed off to the left. "I'm not sure how far away, but the closer we get the more accurate I can be." He just hoped they'd find the rest of the crew with her.

As they drew closer to where Trip felt T'Pol was he began to feel something more. He felt as if he were drifting in a black hole. His body jerked him back to reality when the terror of being alone and adrift hit his mind. He opened his eyes. They'd found them. The three members of security were all tied up and unconscious, probably from the beating they had taken. The Captain and the Doctor were semi-conscious and had also been badly beaten. T'Pol was laying on the ground beaten, unconscious and attached to some device with leads attached all over her body.

"Malcolm we have to get those tracking devices on them." Trip would be going after T'Pol. He wouldn't let anyone else do that, but there were 5 others and he couldn't tag them all.

"We have to make sure Enterprise can lock onto them first. If they're using some type of dampening field these might not work. I'll toss one as close to them as I can. Hoshi can let us know if she can see it."

"Go ahead." Trip watched as Reed activated one of the trackers before throwing it into Archer's lap. Trip contacted Enterprise. "Hoshi, Are you picking up a tracking device near us?"

"Yes, sir."

"Great. When my communicator's emergency beacon goes off have the transporter lock on and get us the hell out of here."

"Yes, sir."

Malcolm gave each of them a tracker before they maneuvered around to get as close as possible to their fellow crew members. Trip surveyed the area as all eyes were on his raised hand. His hand made the silent movement to go. The group moved forward as one. Trip took the knife Malcolm had given him and cut as many leads away from T'Pol's body as he could then lifted her into his arms. Malcolm tagged the Captain while the security team headed for their counterparts. They heard shuffling behind them. Trip didn't bother to look before he yelled 'grab on to them NOW' as his emergency beacon became active.

They all materialized on the transporter pad. Medics took care of the rest of the crew while Trip headed to sickbay carrying T'Pol.

Forty eight hours later all the crew were awake but T'Pol. The security personnel had been released this morning. After one session of beatings their captors determined they knew very little of use to them and gave them something to knock them out. The Captain and Phlox had been beaten and interrogated using the device T'Pol had been hooked up to. They wanted information about who they were and why they were there. They then beat T'Pol severely before attaching the leads to her. Their questioning of her was all about her home world. They wanted information about Vulcan ships and weapons. Archer said that they made their feelings about Vulcans very clear and took them out on T'Pol until she passed out. They tried to revive her several times, but were unsuccessful.

Phlox and Archer were awake, but drifted off frequently. Their bodies needed rest to heal. Trip had T'Pol sequestered off by herself so he could spend time with her unobserved. He kept trying to reach her through their bond, but he couldn't. He kept falling into that black hole. Once the terror set in he had to forcibly pull himself back.

Trip Tucker had held it together, but his hold on his emotions had begun to slip. He had to do something, but what. Dr. Phlox was still not well and even if he was Trip couldn't tell him anything. There was no one he could talk to. Get advice about what to do without breaking his trust with T'Pol and revealing their connection. He stood and left sickbay.

Once he reached the ready room he contacted Hoshi for a secure line to Ambassador Soval.

"Ambassador, Live Long and Prosper." Trip greeted him while forming his hand into the ta'al.

"Peace and Long Life, Commander Tucker. What can I do for you today?" Soval had just spoken to Ambassador Te'lam. The Commander needed help easing tensions with the Ambassador.

How could he get what he needed without revealing too much. "Ambassador, you told me if I ever needed your assistance all I had to do was ask." Soval told him this after the Andorian Incident. He said Vulcan owed him a great deal.

"I remember." The Ambassador was intrigued.

Trip tried to breath and calm himself, but it was becoming more and more difficult. "I need your assistance, but I'm afraid I won't be able to explain why."

"I may not be able to assist you without knowing why, but you may ask."

"Is there a Vulcan ship anywhere near us that has a Vulcan doctor on it?"

"There is a ship within a day of your current location. All Vulcan ships have a doctor aboard."

"Are Vulcan doctors bound by the same oath of confidentiality as our doctors are?" There was much he didn't want repeated about T'Pol's history.

"Yes. In some instances more so."

"Can you get that ship here. T'Pol needs a Vulcan doctor. She's unconscious and I don't think Dr. Phlox is going to be able to help her. He was injured and isn't really able to help anybody."

"I will contact the captain of the Savoy and have them there as I said in a day. Is that all?" Soval was sure that wasn't the assistance the Commander had meant.

"No. The doctor needs to take Commander T'Pol aboard his ship for treatment." Here goes. "I need speak to the doctor before he takes her."

"Is there...." Soval stopped. Commander Tucker told him he couldn't discuss why. The young man's face became blank. He was trying to achieve the higher levels of waking meditation with difficulty. Soval was impressed first that he knew how, but more that he was trying to control himself using it. "Commander, place your hands in front of you like mine." Soval touched his fingertips together and separated his palms. "Now concentrate on your hands and inhale deeply for a count of 8 heartbeats then exhale for 8 heartbeats, while evoking the emotion opposite of the one troubling you. The more immediate the need for control the shorter the interval between the inhaling and exhaling will need to be." Soval studied him intently. T'Pol had spent many hours teaching him proper technique.

Without comment Trip did as he'd instructed several times. His calm returned. "Thanks. Is there anything we can do until the doctor gets here?"

"Keep her and the area around her calm and quiet. You should get some sleep and meditate as much as possible. You will want to be as strong as possible if the doctor requires your assistance."

Trip wasn't sure what Soval meant. "I'm not sure how much I can help, but I'll do whatever I can."

"It will depend on what the injury is. Some require a friend or family member to meld with the injured party to aid in their recovery. It is apparent you are friends."

Trip knew the answer to this, but decided to play dumb if there was any chance Soval hadn't figured out the connection between him and T'Pol. "Can a human meld with a Vulcan?" If he could bond with her he could meld with her.

"I have no knowledge if it is possible or not, but the doctor may wish to try."

"Thanks, Ambassador."

"As Admiral Forest once explained to me we're even Commander Tucker."

"I wasn't aware we were keeping score, but thanks again." Whatever Soval knew or thought he knew he wouldn't say anything to anyone. Trip didn't know why he believed this, but he knew it was true.

"Have you spoken to Ambassador Te'lam?"

"Not yet. I've been putting off contacting him and Admiral Gardner. Not really ready to sit through a lecture on establishing diplomatic relations with other species and ignoring their laws."

"I have spoken to both men. There will be no recriminations for your actions. Your duty is to your crew. No one can fault you for acting on that."

"Good to know. Did you have anything to do with smoothing things out?"

"I may have suggested to Ambassador Te'lam that he should not condemn you for trying to protect your captain and crew mates."

The expression on his face changed to a small smile. "I'm gonna end up owing you one if you keep this up."

Trip as the acting captain had to deal with the aftermath of the rescue. Ambassador Te'lam was furious with him. He didn't like it at all that Commander Tucker played a game of semantics with him. They hadn't landed a shuttle when they transported down. How could Trip be held responsible for misunderstanding? It wasn't his fault the Ambassador didn't know they possessed such technology and hadn't forbid it. Malcolm stood back biting his tongue to keep from laughing. Hoshi was not successful at her attempts and Trip glared at her severely when she let go with a chuckle or two. They both thought he'd gotten better at using his war of words because of his constant banter with T'Pol.

When the Ambassador then asked for a favor Malcolm almost choked. The laugh came from so far down that he couldn't stop it. After yelling at him the man actually ask Trip to share the information he and Malcolm had gathered on the invaders who had taken Enterprise's crew. Turned out they were a race from a nearby planet that they had been warring with over their boundaries. Infecting the planet with the virus was an attempt to distract them long enough for an invasion. Tucker and Reed had both turned on their scanners before the rescue and kept them on the whole time. Between them they had collected some very valuable information that could be used to help prevent any invasion.

Trip stood there looking at the Ambassador. "We'll transport our pilot and two of our security personnel to retrieve our shuttlepod. Have someone meet them there with all our equipment and they will give them the information just before they take off."

"Give us an hour to get all your equipment to your shuttlepod." Commander Tucker was angry that the Ambassador had tried to stop him from retrieving the crew, and as much as he hated that they had gotten drawn into their fight, it was their planet and they had a right to defend it. There was no way he could justify to himself not giving them the means to do that.

"Ensign Mayweather meet the security team in the transporter room in 50 minutes."

"Yes, sir."

"Lieutenant Reed. Please select a two man team to accompany him. And transfer our scanner data to a disk. The Ensign will need to give it to whomever the Ambassador sends."

"Yes, sir."

He then turned slightly so he could see Hoshi and Malcolm both. "While I understand the urge to laugh it was unprofessional. You two really need to work on that in the future." A smile broke out across his face. The translator picked the closest English word, but what the Ambassador asked for still amounted to a favor after scolding him. He couldn't really say much to them. He had been guilty of the same thing in the past and had wanted to do the same thing today, but being in charge meant at least appearing to set a good example.

"Yes sir." They both replied with smiles on their faces.

----

Dr. Phlox was up looking over T'Pol's vitals and brainwave activity. He was still not 100% but he was trying to help his patient. Trip took a chair and sat down next to her. Phlox started to say something but saw that Tucker had relaxed back onto the seat and closed his eyes. He was either sleeping or meditating so the doctor decided to let him be. When he returned several hours later it appeared the the Commander had not moved.

Phlox was startled when Trip spoke. "Doc, how's she doing?" Worry crept into his voice. Trip had been fighting to keep the thought that this assault on her mind had been too much. That she had retreated so far inside of herself that he couldn't reach her. That the black hole he'd fallen into had no bottom.

"Her vital signs are lower than normal but steady. Her brainwaves are my biggest concern. They are erratic and some areas are barely functioning at all."

"So she's not in a healing trance is she?" She wasn't. If she had been he would have been able to reach her. He'd read everything he could find in the Vulcan database on the Vulcan mind.

"No. It's not a healing trance."

"There's a Vulcan ship with a doctor on its way. They'll be here in a few hours." This doctor had to help her. He had to hold it together so he could talk to him. Tell him all he knew about what had been done to her mind over the last several years.

"Who sent for the doctor?" Phlox knew it wasn't Captain Archer. He was still in sickbay.

"Ambassador Soval contacted them when he found out T'Pol was still unconscious. He said something about Vulcan techniques that this doctor would be aware of that non-Vulcans wouldn't." It was partially true.

"We'll let him take a look and see if there's any treatment he's aware of that I haven't considered." Mr. Tucker seemed tired. What struck the doctor most was that he had always been able to read his face to determine his mood. He saw nothing. "Commander Tucker you need to go to bed and get some sleep."

"I'm fine. I'll get sleep I promise, but I'm not leaving." He moved his chair closer to the bed and laid his head down next to T'Pol without touching her. Pulling a blanket up around his shoulders, then sliding his hand under his body to conceal it as he slide it under T'Pol's back. Once his fingers touched her skin he felt a weak connection to her. His eyes closed and he slept.

Savoy had arrived. The Vulcan captain came to sickbay with Lieutenant Reed and the doctor. Dr. Kivel asked to examine T'Pol. Phlox had stayed close, but the doctor requested he leave. Trip stepped away, but the doctor grabbed his arm to stop him. "Ambassador Soval informs me that I must speak with you privately."

"There are a couple of things we need to talk about, but not here." Trip spoke quietly knowing the Vulcans could hear him, but no one else could.

"After I examine her we will discuss whatever you feel we must." When the doctor touched his arm he heard Trip's thoughts. He had shielded his mind, but that did not work when physical contact was made. Someone, he assumed T'Pol, had instructed this human on how to keep his mind private from others.

The exam had been completed and Dr. Kivel informed Phlox that he would need to take T'Pol to the sickbay on Savoy. Dr. Phlox said he would make the arrangements and they would be there within the hour. When the Vulcan told him he could not accompany his patient the two doctors became embroiled in a tug of war over who had authority to treat Commander T'Pol.

Commander Tucker listened for several minutes. It became clear they were not going to settle the matter on their own, so he intervened.

"Dr. Phlox, do you know what to do to help T'Pol?"

"No I don't, but I haven't had time to investigate all the options available." He had just started to search through the database and his own medical data.

"The Vulcans have a doctor here that has no need to investigate how to treat a Vulcan. You will let them take her to their ship and treat her." Trip was still in charge. Unless Dr. Phlox could provide him with a valid reason to invoke his authority as the Enterprises Medical Officer and overrule the Commander, T'Pol would be aboard Savoy very soon.

"As you say Commander Tucker." Phlox had no choice but to let them take the Commander for treatment.

"Sorry Doc, but I have to do what I think T'Pol would want and you need to take care of yourself and the captain. How's he doing?"

"He's weak, but he'll be fine in a couple of days."

"Great. Now I'm ordering you to get yourself and the captain well."

Dr. Kivel stepped out of sickbay and Trip followed him. The doctor's eyes never left his face.

"Commander Tucker what is it you wish to discuss with me."

Trip looked around. "First, I need to know that whatever I say is protected by whatever oath Vulcan doctors take."

"I assure you Commander that any information you choose to give me concerning the health of Commander T'Pol will never be discussed by me."

"That covers any information even if it involves another person?"

"If you are referring to your bond then yes it includes that also. You hid it well Commander, but your shielding does not work when touched. Whatever your thoughts are when the contact is made are not protected. You must be careful not to allow accidental contact with other Vulcans if you wish to keep your mind from being read."

"I need to go with her to your ship and I need help coming up with a valid reason for being there. No one here knows and we'd like to keep it that way."

"I agree you do need to be there. You are the best chance we have of reaching her. Do you know what happened that drove her so deep into herself?"

"Several things have happened to her. I don't feel comfortable talking about any of this in the corridor. I will explain it all once we are on your ship and have some privacy." The risk of being overheard increased the longer they stood out here. Trip walked back into sickbay and pulled Malcolm aside. "I'm going with her. You'll be in charge while we're gone."

"How do we explain why you need to go aboard a Vulcan ship so a Vulcan can get treated?"

"I don't know but the Vulcan Doc is going to come up with something believable. I hope."

Dr. Kivel walked across the room to stand next to T'Pol's bed. "Dr. Phlox is there anyone on board who knows Commander T'Pol. Someone who may be able to aid me in reaching her?"

Phlox looked up from the computer screen he had been reading. "Commander Tucker and Commander T'Pol are close friends. He may be able to answer any questions you may have."

Trip acted surprised. "What do you need to know?"

"Until the procedure is underway I will not know what you may be able to offer in the way of assistance. Would it be possible for you to accompany us? You would need to wait outside sickbay and be available if I have questions."

"Sure I guess I can do that. If you think I can help."

The Commander handed off command. "Lieutenant Reed you'll be in charge while we're gone."