Healing to Your Life – Chapter 5
"Yes, yes, yes." Trip yelled as he jumped up and down pumping his fist into the air.
"You've gone completely daft haven't you." Malcolm Reed was closer to Trip Tucker than he'd ever been to another human being, but there were times when his sense of duty kicked in and understanding his friend became impossible.
The puzzled look on Malcolm's face left Trip confused. "What are you talking about?"
"You do know I just beat you?" Malcolm had been avoiding Trip for several days. When their regular Thursday night exercise time came up he almost didn't show up, but opted to confront him head on. Trip would expect no less. The current confusion stemmed from his being happy about losing. That was over the top even for Trip.
"Good game." Trip congratulated him. Winning was good, but not everything. "You do realize we just got through an entire game without getting smacked by that damnable piece of rubber once." This was an accomplishment, especially since Malcolm had been smashing the thing with everything he had.
His voice was more cheerful and teasing. "I thought you liked those welts? Gave you a reason to whine so T'Pol would do neuro-pressure." Malcolm saw the change in expression and knew his observation had the desired effect.
Trip let the comment go being more curious about Mal's mood. "Did I do something to make you mad? You've been whacking at that ball like you want to hurt someone and I may be wrong, but I get the feeling it's me."
There it was his opening and his anger came out with a loud bang. "You resigned? What the bloody hell is wrong with you? We're at war and you resigned." Not only had his best friend not told him, he heard it from Captain Archer, but he was abandoning everything he believed in.
"Yeah, they didn't give me any choice. They won't agree to my terms." The frustration he'd felt during the many hours of negotiation with Admiral Gardner and Admiral Casey was still there.
"You're going to just walk away? The Romulans have the advantage and whether they know it or not Starfleet needs you." The years they'd spent working together proved that to Malcolm. He thought Trip was the very best engineer, but he also had the people skills to demand the best from those under his command. His engineers would do anything he asked.
"Well, let's hope Starfleet sees it that way. T'Pol and I both want to stay in Starfleet if we can." T'Pol's inquiries on Vulcan found opportunities for both Commanders, that would have given them productive futures in their professional lives, but they all required they be separated. Vulcan mates often did not see each other for years at a time, but T'Pol found this unacceptable. The choice of Earth as their home for the foreseeable future was made. "Admiral Kilmer sent me a message before the attack. Told me not to do anything rash before he talked to me, but I haven't heard from him. I saw him once at Starfleet when he got his fourth star, but I've never met him. Scott Nielson says he's a good guy, level headed, fair, and very direct."
Trip wasn't going to give in. He would stay, but only if Starfleet gave him what he wanted and Malcolm had no idea what that was. "I'll see you later I need to get some sleep." The Lieutenant hadn't slept more than a couple of hours a night in days. Maybe he'd better talk to T'Pol about learning the next level of meditating before he hurt somebody. She'd suggested it to him days ago, but he resisted out of stubbornness, but now he needed to calm down and get some real sleep.
"Malcolm I wish I could make you understand. If you ever fall in love with someone you will." Trip knew Mal needed time to deal with the fact that he and T'Pol would be leaving Enterprise. The young man didn't know how to make it easier. All he could do was assure him that their friendship would not suffer.
---
Trip thought about the last several days. He and Captain Archer had waited for the Fleet Admiral's transmission. Archer wanted to witness the discussion, but the four star Admiral had other ideas. He dismissed the Captain with orders to change course for Vulcan.
Immediately after the door closed behind Jon, Admiral Kilmer asked Trip to be seated and explained that they would reach an agreement. "You're an officer in Starfleet and I expect you to act as such." Kilmer insisted.
Reminding him of his resignation only made his superior more determined. "Your resignation will not be processed." Surprisingly, he apologized for needing time to review Admiral Forrest files and do his own investigation; therefore; letting this matter get out of hand. Seems Forrest was thorough and never brought an issue to his attention without also bringing him all the information he needed to deal with it. Admiral Gardner had not yet grown into his new duties. Trip didn't think much of Gardner, but hopefully he wouldn't have to worry about that much longer.
They started going over the demands Admiral Gardner and Trip had been arguing over. "Let's cut to the chase. The way you worded this document is very specific. After carefully reviewing the situation I find no problem with the way you wish to structure your command, as long as all regulations are adhered to." Trip wasn't sure if he meant the fraternization regs or not, but that was why the wording was so important. He and T'Pol would always be of the same rank and in a command structure so they were equals. No way for Starfleet to object to any personal relationship. "As for picking your own staff, I expect the best of my staff and I will not object if you demand the right to find and recruit the best team. You've always demanded the right to choose your own staff so I see no reason to change that now. You may also consult or recruit outside of Starfleet. Just keep me informed."
When he agreed to allow them to consult or negotiate assistance wherever he deemed necessary as long as it got them a warp drive capable of warp 6 or better Trip was hard pressed to remain professional. He was overjoyed. Admiral Gardner had said Trip would never be allowed to consult or negotiate any assistance from any alien species. There were those in Starfleet who were responsible for such things.
"The staff responsible for the rest of the ships development will report to you....no direct involvement required, but you will need to be in charge and have final authority. Your personal life is your own as long as you follow regulations and are discrete. You can live wherever you want....I'd never force anyone to command a ship if they didn't want to be there...If requested you will be available for publicity or diplomatic functions without complaint....and I also want a 5 year commitment from you and Commander T'Pol."
Trip wasn't surprised when T'Pol's name was mentioned. The Admiral knew exactly what he was doing. He stood to summon T'Pol from the bridge. He had been projecting the conversation to her through the bond, but they had to keep up appearances.
Both Commanders read the agreement and digitally signed it. The Admiral asked to see Captain Archer, Lieutenant Reed, and Lieutenant Hess. He then began reassigning Enterprises crew. Promoting the Commanders to Captain so they could each fulfill their new responsibilities as heads of warp drive development. To Captain Archer's dismay Reed was promoted to Commander and first officer of Enterprise. Kilmer had not consulted the Captain and gave Malcolm less than 5 minutes to consider the promotion and the increase in duties they entailed. Hess was then promoted to Lt. Commander and Chief Engineer.
The new Captains were expected to split their time between training their replacements on Enterprise and their new assignment. The first official duties in their new positions were to be on Vulcan. Ambassador Soval had arranged for them to meet with the High Council and Ministry of Science to discuss Trip and T'Pol's ideas about cooperation for developing warp technology.
Am encoded message was received in Engineering for Captain Tucker. The attack by the Romulans had destroyed every orbital ship building operation Starfleet had. A prototype for a warp 5 freighter had been being constructed on Utopia Planitia, orbiting Mars. The only remaining part of that operation or its personnel was the schematics and specs Trip had just received. The only other remaining ship repairing complex, Jupiter Station, housed several NX class nacelles and spare parts. He and T'Pol were ordered to take these designs and get Starfleet a space worthy warp 6 ship in as little time as possible. Looking over these documents the new Captain discovered finding a new location on Earth for a ship building facility was not their biggest problem. The warp reactor as currently designed took up almost 90% of the engineering hull. What could Commander Shumar have been thinking to have wasted time and resources building a prototype he couldn't put into space.
Trip and T'Pol were under the direct command of Admiral Kilmer until they were operational. The Admiral felt it necessary until they were back on Earth with staff and facilities up and running. All of this left Jonathon Archer a little peevish. His 2 senior officers, one wasn't even human, had managed to become the fastest rising officers in recent history and seemed to have acquired power and authority within Starfleet. Captain Archer wanted them to succeed with their new mission, but found he was a little jealous and saw their rapid rise as a threat to the friendship they had recently achieved. Trip saw it exactly the opposite. His belief was that removing himself from the command structure on Enterprise would allow their friendship to become stronger. He just had to walk a fine line between keeping sensitive details of his assignment to himself, as ordered, and including Jon in his new life.
----
T'Pol found her mate slumped over his desk asleep. She entered his office very late the previous evening when he hadn't come home and she sensed he had fallen asleep. Home, that's what she now considered her quarters', but more than that home was Trip. The backs of her fingers ran across his cheek, up into his blond hair. The touch sending waves of electric like tingles through her arm. He stirred slightly causing a break in the steady pattern of his breathing. Waking him would be selfish on her part. Sleep had not come easy as he sought to sort out their now hectic personal and professional lives. Days of disagreements had done little to ease his obsessive need to make this transition to life on Earth painless and worry free for T'Pol. Throwing a blanket over his shoulders she laid down on the cot across the room and slept. Being near him was enough to make it possible for her to rest. When she woke a couple of hours later he was gone. She closed her eyes and located him with Commander Hess explaining the delicate and tedious procedure for making adjustments to the plasma injectors nearest the warp core.
Later in the morning Trip arrived on the bridge to speak to Captain Archer. The two men were finding a balance that allowed each to fulfill their duties and be friends. Archer let the Captain take over the Command Center and took the first tentative steps in moving from being his superior officer into his new role as advisor. Trip's back was to T'Pol but he could feel her piercing stare. He turned to face her. "Is there something wrong T'Pol?" Purposely ignoring the use of her rank, knowing it was the easiest way to get her to engage him. Since everyone knew of their relationship he no longer bothered to hide his emotions.
She started to say she was his superior officer, but that was no longer true. "May I remind you Captain Tucker we are on duty. Please refrain from addressing me in such a casual manner."
"I apologize Captain, but as I'm sure your problem with me is not of a professional nature, I slipped." Frustration more than anger came through in his raised voice.
She could see and feel that he had not slept enough. "You need to take a nap so you will be less likely to forget to behave professionally." Seeing him excited and engrossed in his work she found delighted her, but it had gone beyond that. He was running on adrenaline. She recognized the behavior from their time in the expanse. The all encompassing desire to save Earth and care for her drove him to ignore his own needs as well ironically he ignored some of hers.
"Who's being unprofessional now. You can't treat me like a child and order me to my room just because I'm not doing things the way you want."
"It was not an order, but it could be if necessary." The set of her jaw tightened slightly.
"Fortunately, their's no one here who can order me to sleep, so..." He saw the flicker in her eyes and the flash of a thought cross her mind. "You wouldn't dare?" All thoughts of suppressing his anger left his mind.
"If you continue to ignore your need for rest I most certainly will dare." T'Pol countered.
Malcolm had watched similar exchanges between the two so often he didn't even look up from his station. Hoshi was totally engrossed in the exchange as was Captain Archer. The dynamic between the couple had becoming less explosive, but vocal arguments in the presence of whomever happened to be in the area when tensions rose continued. Archer was intrigued to see how they would maneuver through the ever changing conditions to maintain a personal and professional relationship. Jonathon Archer could never do it and he doubted many others could either, but before him stood two of the most determined and stubborn people he'd ever know. Those traits might actually work for them.
Trip was angry. She would demand assistance from the only person on the ship who could order him to sleep and he knew he would. He'd done it before on several occasions. Trip concentrated on his breathing to bring his anger under control then he heard, "Captain T'Pol to Dr. Phlox."
Trip's facial expression remained blank, but his eyes burned with anger and his voice though very controlled made it obvious that his temper was about to explode. "Captain Archer could we use your Ready Room?"
"Of course." There was no way he could say no. Fire was about to erupt from the top of Trip's head.
"Follow me, Captain T'POL." Trip stormed off the bridge.
The door hadn't even closed when he let loose. "T'Pol, I'm not a child, stop treating me like one."
She watched as he clenched his fist at his sides and tried to control his breathing. She stood inches from him grabbing his face turning it so she could look him directly in the eyes. "I am your bondmate and I must take care of you. You know this to be true, but you make it impossible for me to do so. I will do what is needed if you continue."
"Being bonded doesn't mean you get to act like my mother. I can decide when I need sleep and when I don't. I have a lot to do in a short amount of time." Trip banged his fist into the wall in frustration. T'Pol wanted him to listen to his own words. 'I' seemed to dominate his conversations of late. The amount of damage the Romulans had inflicted had a devastating affect on Starfleet's ability to strike back. The engineer was beginning to exhibit the same mental attitude he had in the expanse. His need to extract revenge and protect Earth and those he cared about overshadowed everything.
"I will return to assisting Ensign Mayers if you insist on this irrational behavior." T'Pol turned to leave. Holding the door she looked him directly in the eyes. "Was not the purpose of our commanding this facility together so we could be together while having productive and fulfilling careers?" She left him with his own words playing through his mind.
Leaving the Ready Room he quickly entered the turbolift without acknowledging anyone on the bridge, forgetting his purpose for being there. T'Pol's face was as stoic as ever, but Malcolm saw the concern for Trip as she watched him step into the lift. Malcolm moved across to the science station. "I can try to talk to him."
T'Pol spoke very quietly. "There is no need for you to speak to him. He will hear me." Hearing the determination in her voice Malcolm knew exactly what she meant. T'Pol removed herself from their bond and erected all her shields.
When Trip stepped off the turbolift onto the bridge T'Pol was deep in conversation with Archer and Reed. Training the new first officer involved many hours of discussions. Hoshi was busy at her station and was startled when Trip covered her ears with the headset she used when translating or listening to subspace transmissions and placed his finger to his lips.
He then positioned himself behind his mate and waited. T'Pol became aware that the others were staring beyond her and turned her head to see what had garnered their attention. She turned her entire body to face her mate.
The young man could not speak to her in the bond because she had blocked him from her mind. There were few ways he could say he was sorry because she wouldn't understand the tradition of a human male giving his mate flowers or some other gift. He kept causing her pain because of his stubborn refusal to listen to her, until she gave him a headache, when she was only trying to take care of him. He still didn't have the verb tenses of Vulcan down, but he decided now was the time to start showing his bondmate he was serious about them sharing her culture and their lives. Besides this way he could show he really had thought about what he wanted to say and do it somewhat privately.
"Ashalik, Sanoi tobag-tor t'nash-veh lafosh. Tu vesh' yeht, nash-veh zungor heh bolag shom. Nash-veh dingi-hal-tor na' a'sim I' yi nash-veh dungi kohl-tor bai'elkhrul-akteiben a'rie'mnu..... Nash-veh al'sh'iz." (Darlin, Please excuse my mistake. You were right I am tired and I need sleep. I will go to bed now and then I will meditate to attain mastery of these passionate emotions.....I am sorry.) Walking back to the turbolift to go to their quarters he felt her shields come down. He knew he'd accomplished his goal and she had accepted his apology.
"Pehkau!" (Stop!)
Seeing Trip heading off the bridge Hoshi had removed the headset and then she heard the science officer emphatically yell so she replaced it. Thinking to herself there were disadvantages to being a linguist and this had better not become a habit of theirs. She had no intention of spending her time with her ears covered so they could speak in private. The rest of those on the bridge watched the two trying to determine what they were saying by their body language since none of them had bothered to learn Vulcan or any other language.
T'Pol walked to her bondmate, extending her fingers for the ozh'esta. Trip didn't respond. Touching in front of others was not allowed unless it could not be avoided and as hard as it was he had trained himself to keep his fingers intertwined so he wouldn't be tempted to touch her. Her words in his head made him smile. "This is acceptable to Vulcans between bondmates." His fingers made the connection and the corners of her mouth twitched upward only slightly, but he saw it. More than that he felt her pleasure, which she would deny, flowing between them.
When the pain from the loss of their connection receded T'Pol continued. "Th-i-oxalra. Nash-veh tor-ri gish tu tor zahal-tor kahry'tan z' Ni-prazh. Nash-veh aitlu zular na' t'nash-veh katravah and t'nash-veh ashayam." (Thank you. I do not expect you to follow the philosophy or way of Vulcans and be indifferent to your emotions. I desire you to be my work partner and my beloved.)
"Nash-veh dungi. Nash-veh ugaya." (I will. I promise.)
"Ragal-tor kup aru-yem?" (Meet me for dinner?)
"Nash-veh nah-tor. Heh Nirsh arkadan variben." (I accept. And no talk about work.) Trip nodded to his mate and continued onto the turbolift.
"Uf wu-vath't vershal-elapein tu na' kah'ru Vuhlkansu?" (How long have you been learning Vulcan?)
Leaning back against the wall in the lift his grin widened as he considered the answer to her question. "Veh kro'el il wuh'ashiv nash-veh palikaya fi' ish-veh maut wuh-rak gad, ashalik." (In one way or another since that very first day, darlin.) As the door closed laughter could be heard from Captain Tucker.
Jonathon Archer had watched his friend Trip Tucker with his mate. He hated that word 'mate'. The couple had explained its meaning in Vulcan and even though he suspected their definition left out intimate details of the relationship, he conceded and began to use mate as well. The discovery that Trip had matured into a strong, confident, independent man should not have been so shocking having spent the last 8 plus years with him, but it was. The younger man he'd known would have sought his friends advice after a disagreement with his significant other. Jon knew every intimate detail of his previous relationships, but very little about this one. He wasn't sure he would have been able to offer anything useful because T'Pol was a Vulcan and didn't respond the way a human woman would. He sure wouldn't have suggested speaking to her in her native language. Trip no longer came to him to ask for what choices he might have. He came with the choices he was willing to live with and asked for Archer's opinions to be sure he hadn't overlooked anything before he made his final decision.
____
Several days were spent in the Command Center doing virtual tours of facilities around San Francisco. A final choice had to be made before Enterprise arrived back at Jupiter Station, so Starfleet could dispatch teams of engineers to get the facility up and running to the specs Trip and T'Pol would provide once a selection had been made. This meant Trip and T'Pol had to discuss their options with Scott Neilson, who was to be promoted to a full Commander and head the Research department of the new warp program. The friendship between Tucker and Neilson had been firmly reestablished in the conversations Trip had with him to convince the Commander to come work for him.
The area chosen had been home to a variety of industries over the years, since it had been first known as Silicon Valley. There was a town nearby that had suffered since the military base had been closed and most of the biggest technological firms had relocated their headquarters to places around the world after the last war on Earth. Trip hoped to encourage the locals to allow aliens to live at or near the facility without being harassed. The local economy would be stimulated by the influx of people and the opportunities for new business ventures to serve them.
Personal time was also spent in the command center doing virtual tours of housing available in the area. Trip had spent 2 years at Starfleet Academy as had Malcolm and Jon. Being young, single Starfleet cadets they and their friends had explored most areas of the city in their free time. T'Pol deferred to Trip's judgment about where to live, but stood firm in the requirements for a home.
"I'll agree the tub looks enticing, but that god awful wallpaper would make relaxation impossible." Malcolm pointed out.
"What part of we can paint the walls are you missing here Malcolm? We've already agreed we'll have to remodel anyplace we find. I don't want white walls and T'Pol doesn't want any colors that resemble those on a starship." The Brit could be a bit tiresome at times. Especially when he got stuck on some silly idea.
"I'm just saying things don't always happen the way you want when you remodel, so you might be stuck with a lime green and orange bathroom for a while." Who could possibly think those colors were appropriate?
"Billy says we can stay in the guest house as long as we need to. We're in no hurry." Trip was trying to convince Commander Reed and himself. He and T'Pol were looking forward to having a house with space and a kitchen and no crewman observing their every move.
Billy's folks had given him and Melissa the house in Ocean Beach when they told them about their engagement and new assignment to San Francisco. The ensigns had requested to be transferred back to Earth. Billy Rivers only signed on to a tour on Enterprise to work with Trip Tucker. He'd heard he about the engineer's reputation in Starfleet, so the young man put aside his dislike of space travel for the chance to learn from the best. Becoming friends with him was a bonus.
Captain Archer joined the two men. "Hey, Jon. Maybe you can help me convince this guy that the potential of a house is what's important, not what it looks like when you move in." Trip's voice cracked several times.
"Sorry, but I'm no help. Never had the need to shop for a house. Are you alright? Your voice seems a little rough." Concern crossed Jon's face.
"Yeah, I promised T'Pol I'd stop by Sickbay. I've been accused of talking a lot but lately that's all I do. My throat gets so sore sometimes I lose my voice." Those times he really looked forward to meditation and appreciated the bond. Not having to talk to enjoy his time with T'Pol was definitely a good thing.
"If you're following her advice you must be getting along better." Jon observed.
"We argue but it doesn't last long. I can't stay mad and it only makes things harder for her to suppress her emotions." He'd do whatever it took to prevent that. When his emotions were peaked T'Pol's control slipped rapidly because she had to remove herself from their connection and had no outlet for the emotions she could not suppress.
"You actually encourage her to suppress her emotions? I'd think you'd want her to express them." Archer noticed that Trip seemed to suppress his emotions more and T'Pol's control was much better than it had been in several months. She was much more relaxed with the crew, but unless one had studied her for a long time her emotions were as unreadable as ever.
"She's a Vulcan Jon. They have to suppress their emotions. You saw what happens when they don't on the Seleya. It's not a pretty sight and could be very dangerous." Trip couldn't tell him he'd seen her lose control or that he felt more from her and for her than he'd ever felt before. He didn't want to. It made it all the more special that only he understood. In a strange way Vulcans were as romantic as humans. The intimacy shared between bondmates was just as powerful as anything a human couple shared. Sometimes more.
"I know but doesn't it bother you when you can't touch her or knowing that she will never tell you she loves you." This had occurred to Jon when he thought of becoming involved with his first officer years ago. He knew T'Pol had emotions. He could see them in her eyes, especially where Trip was concerned. But he wasn't sure he could be with someone who couldn't or wouldn't openly express her feelings to him.
Trip chuckled. He'd heard these comments several times and expected to hear them many more. It made him cringe to think of how he'd seen T'Pol when he first met her. "I knew what it meant to be with her when we got together and it's more than worth it to me." He almost told him she was very affectionate when they were alone, but changed his mind. Justifying them only demeaned their relationship. Besides he'd fallen in love with her before he knew anything about how Vulcans interacted with their mates or about the bond. He felt her emotions without the mental connection and would have made the same choice.
Wanting to change the subject Tucker gave Malcolm a pleading look. "Captain, Commander Shran has agreed to met with the Trip and T'Pol while we're in orbit around Vulcan. He has a soft spot for you, maybe you could help."
"Malcolm, we're off-duty. I'm Jon." Jon wanted them to be friends.
"Yes, sir." Malcolm liked Archer, but could not bring himself to be more than casual friends with his commanding officer. Both Trip and T'Pol had been and still were higher in rank than him, but they weren't his Captain. He'd made concessions and changed his previous beliefs about relationships with his fellow officers, but this one was not going to change. It made for complications that he'd watched Captain Archer and Trip contend with. They were going into a war and that would demand his full attention. Trip and T'Pol leaving the ship had been hard to accept, but now he saw it as a blessing. They would be on Earth and as safe as they could be and he'd be able to do his job free of distractions.
"What do you need from Shran, Trip?" The Andorians must have something important if Trip asked them to come to Vulcan. Shran had always boasted to Jon about their superior technology. The Kumari had much more advanced shielding and warp engines than Enterprise.
"They have technology I'd like to get my hands on. We need a smaller impulse engine for the forward section. And we have to find ways to make the warp reactor a hell of a lot smaller and faster. We just need to convince the Andorians and the Vulcans it's in their best interest to help us." The design they'd been given had most of engineering in a section of hull under newly designed nacelles, which he was convinced wouldn't work. The rest of ships functions were located in a big round ball connected to engineering with a corridor. Trip wanted that part of the ship to be able to disconnect from the engineering section in an emergency with its own impulse engine.
"If they won't give us the technology, I want them to give me access to their engineers. Maybe send a couple to work with us." They were very knowledgeable and once you got past their arrogant attitude and distrust they could be very helpful. Trip, T'Pol, and Malcolm had worked with them to repair Enterprise and saw how well trained they were.
"How are you going to get the Imperial Guard to help if the Vulcans are involved?" Shran may have softened toward Vulcans, but there were still those on Andor who didn't trust Vulcans and probably never would.
"That's where you come in. Shran likes you Jon. More than that he trust you and we need him to get his government to see that by helping us they are helping themselves. Isn't that what the Coalition of Planets is supposed to be about?" Jon was supposed to be responsible for pulling and holding the members together. According to Crewman Daniels, who kept showing up to get Archer's assistance with his Temporal Cold War timeline fixes so a Federation of Planets would be formed with Captain Archer's help.
"If you buy Daniel's version of the future I guess that's true. What exactly do you need me to do?" Archer had been shown the formation of this federation several times and understood its importance, but his role in it was not as clear to him.
"Talk to him. Do whatever you have to to convince him to help us." Having lost the Kumari and most of his crew to the drone ship enraged the Andorian Commander. Losing part of his antennae shortly afterwards only added to his disdain for the Romulans. Revenge would be a priority.
"You made a very favorable impression putting Enterprise in the middle of their fight with the Vulcans. Don't forget that." Shran had even developed a new respect for Soval and T'Pol over the years.
"I know. I'm counting on it." Getting the Andorians and Vulcans both to help might be challenging. He wanted as much leverage and goodwill as he could muster on both sides. He had enough to worry about with the Vulcans. The government under V'Las targeted T'Pol for retribution for perceived actions against her home world. T'Pau stated the new government wanted to forge a new relationship with Humanity as friends instead of the big brothers they had been in the past.
Ambassador Soval had intentionally leaked the news that T'Pol had taken the human as her bondmate. Giving them time to accept the reality of the situation before the couple arrived seemed like a completely plausible course to follow when Soval suggested it, but now Trip was beginning to get nervous about standing in front of a roomful of Vulcans, as T'Pol's bondmate. What would they do if the Vulcans were appalled at the idea? T'Pol said it didn't matter to her what her people thought about their relationship, but he'd never accept her being banished from her home because of him.
"Any plans to get them all together or are we are entertaining Shran aboard Enterprise?" Chef would be upset if he only had a few hours to prepare meals for the Andorians. While their diet wasn't as involved as say the Tellarites, it still involved time to make properly.
"We'll play it by ear. Shran will come here first." As if he read Jon's mind he added. "I already let Chef know Enterprise would be having guest. I remember last time we forgot to inform him. Nobody wants to head back to Earth having only eaten macaroni and cheese for days on end." Trip laughed for a minute. "One more of those things Starfleet failed to mention you have to get used to if you want to be in command. Keep the support staff happy or suffer the consequences." Chef basically went on strike and only served what he knew to be their least favorite meal in the Captain's Mess for a week. T'Pol was the first to abandon the Captain for dinner seeking her vegetarian meals with the rest of the crew. Trip soon followed when he could no longer look at the cheese filled bowl before him, commenting he hadn't even eaten this much mac and cheese when he was a kid and actually really liked it.
"It's not funny. There aren't that many good cooks waiting out there in the wings to serve 3 meals a day to a bunch of space junkies on a starship." Jon had considered replacing his chef for about a minute. It was easier to bury your anger than eat bad food day in and day out. He thought about telling Trip about the multitude of reports Starfleet failed to mention a Captain was expected to file and read. Even with T'Pol sharing the load they would be commanding a larger staff than was aboard a starship, which meant more paperwork.
"Oh, I almost forgot. Ambassador Soval sent word he's already on Vulcan. Told me to let you know he did as you asked." Soval would not tell him what Trip had asked him to do, only said that it was to remain between them at Captain Tucker's request. Jon didn't ask.
"Thanks. I've got to get to sickbay. Doc doesn't sleep much, but he does like to make plans for his evenings. Wouldn't want to interrupt anything." He really did want to get to sickbay, word was that he and Ensign Cutler were now an official couple. The lack of gossip made it hard to keep up on the status of the crew's dating habits. Mostly he wanted to avoid Jon's unasked questions because he couldn't answer them.
---
Trip dressed in the bathroom, trying to get his nerves under control. T'Pol had attempted to ease his tension in the shower this morning, but once the thinking part of his brain re-engaged his self-control abandoned him. They would be spending time on Vulcan. A planet full of telepaths where he would have to shield his mind from unwanted prying and prevent his mind from invading the privacy of those around him. They didn't have to shield the bond, which meant there would be no painful headaches from breaking their connection. That was good news. Waiting to see what kind of reception they would receive was not. Captain Archer and Commander Reed were both accompanying them to the initial meeting with the High Council. Bringing them along was for diplomatic purposes as far as Jon knew, but Malcolm knew, before Trip told him, it was to prevent the overt discussion of private Vulcan matters until Trip could determine the mood of the Council. The tactician in Malcolm saw this as a smart move. Approach on your own terms to assess the situation and proceed accordingly.
Leaving the security of the bathroom Trip was greeted by his mate dressed in a Vulcan robe. It was less formal than the robes he'd seen her in before. The cream color was soft, but the border sewn around the edges and on the sleeves was a swirl of yellows, oranges, and reds. The colors he'd come to associate with Vulcan.
When she turned to face him his eyes immediately focused on the Starfleet emblem and Captain's pips on her chest. The smile that broke out across his face let her know his opinion of her unique way of representing her Starfleet rank while honoring Vulcan customs. He almost forgot to be anxious for a few minutes.
The group entered the Council building. Standing in the atrium waiting for their admittance and formal introduction to the High Council. T'Pol sent waves of calm to her mate. She had been reassuring him for 2 days now that whatever happened they would be fine. They could no longer hurt her. It hadn't helped.
"Comman.... Captain Tucker."
Tucker automatically moved in the direction of the voice. Ambassador Soval stood at the end of the corridor. Trip sensed his slight embarrassment at incorrectly addressing him. As Trip moved closer he leaned in, smiling. "Don't worry about it. I'd forget myself if everybody didn't keep referring to me as Captain." When exactly Soval's presence had begun to have a positive affect on him he didn't know, but he felt calmer.
"Thank you, Captain, but as a diplomat it is inexcusable to be disrespectful to guest of Vulcan."
Trip lifted his hand into the ta'al. "Live, Long, and Prosper, Ambassador." Signaling his acceptance of the Vulcan's apology and the end of that discussion. Soval did the same.
"Ambassador, has the High Council reached any decisions on our requests?" Trip wanted some idea of what to expect. The next hours could set the tone for any future cooperation between the Vulcans and Starfleet.
"There have been many discussions regarding our new circumstances, but there are formalities that must be observed before any final decisions will be made." Soval had much he wished to talk to Tucker and T'Pol about, but T'Pau had ordered him to remain quiet. She wished to observe Captain Tucker and draw her own conclusions regarding him.
T'Pol interrupted the two. "It is time." Motioning toward the Vulcan at the entrance to the council chamber.
Soval bowed slightly as he walked away. "I must take my place with the council members."
Trip and T'Pol rejoined Archer and Reed. The Starfleet Officers followed their guide into the room. Trip and Malcolm were amazed at the colors in the room. Purple walls and chairs did not fit into the picture one conjured when dealing with Vulcans. Standing in front of the long table left the group feeling rather defenseless. Trip and T'Pol studied each face, as the members entered from the back of the room and took their seats, trying to discern some sign of acceptance.
All four raised their hand in the traditional ta'al, as Captain Tucker and Captain T'Pol issued their greeting.
T'Pau responded to them all with a nod and the ta'al. "Captain Tucker, Captain T'Pol we have much to discuss."
"Yes, ma'am." Trip replied waiting for her to continue.
Continue she did. "It has recently come to our attention that there is a personal matter that must be attended to before we proceed. Captain T'Pol is it true that you have chosen Captain Tucker as your mate?"
Trip almost choked. This was not the tack he'd expected. He had several questions for his mate, but refrained from asking through the bond. Vulcans were known to be direct, but this even caught T'Pol by surprise and he felt her anxiety level rise.
"Yes, Minister T'Pau this is true." T'Pol suspected T'Pau had known about the bond since their mind-meld in the forge to heal T'Pol's Pa'nar Syndrome, but said nothing.
"Captain Tucker are you prepared to abide by Vulcan tradition and formalize this arrangement?" T'Pau and the other council members had directed their gaze to him.
"Darlin, what exactly is she talking about?" He wanted to know what happened to keeping Vulcan bonds and mating practices private, but assumed T'Pol wouldn't have an answer.
"Formalizing our bond before a priest, I believe."
"Is that something you want to do?"
"It would be a logical step as we are already bondmates."
"Don't give me logical. Do you want to do this?"
"I would have no objection."
"Then that's what we'll do."
Looking directly into T'Pau's eyes. "Yes, I am prepared to follow Vulcan tradition, Minister T'Pau. What do you have in mind?"
T'Pau stood and started for the exit to their right. "If you and Captain T'Pol would follow me I will explain what you need to do." Just before the door opened she turned to Soval. "Ambassador we may require your assistance."
Evidently, the High Council had decided that making their union official; therefore; making Trip a Vulcan citizen with all the rights and responsibilities that implied was the first order of business. The whole affair went off very quickly. Trip was given Vulcan robes to wear and informed that from this day on he would be expected to wear Vulcan attire whenever he entered an official Vulcan building anywhere. His Captain's pips were placed on his chest as was a Starfleet emblem. Trip didn't bother to ask where these items came from. He was sure Soval must have obtained them before leaving Earth.
The couple was then sent back out into the Council Chamber and instructed to stand facing each other before the priest who waited for them. As he reached up to touch their faces Jonathon Archer moved in their direction only to be stopped by the arm of Commander Reed. "They will be fine Captain." Malcolm smiled and felt a great sense of warmth flood his body as he watched his two friends touch fingers.
Whispering in Reed's ear his feelings were clear. "He's going to do a mind-meld." Archer retained very few memories of his time carrying Surak's katra, and lost more and more of those memories as time went by, but he did remember the two mind-melds he had experienced. He was glad to have aided in the recovery of the Kir'Shara and Surak's katra but found the melds invasive and uncomfortable.
"And I'm sure Trip and T'Pol both understand what's happening. They've done this before." Malcolm wasn't totally sure of what they were seeing, but he knew the look in his friends eyes. Trip knew exactly what he was doing and was very happy about it.
It was over in a flash. The priest simply touched each mind to sense the bond and left nodding to the council on his way out to confirm they were indeed bondmates. They were fully bonded, so the normal ceremony was not required.
"Captain Tucker, we can now proceed with the business of addressing your request for Vulcan assistance." T'Pau looked up to see that the Captain's were still standing face to face. "Captain Tucker."
Trip turned his body to the minister, but the smile on his face said his attention was elsewhere. Soval recognized his attempts to focus when his fingertips came together one hand pushing against the other as his eyes stared straight ahead. "Minister T'Pau perhaps a short break would be in order." T'Pol had regained her control, but Tucker had not. While he might outwardly give the appearance of Vulcan like control, the Ambassador had worked with humans long enough to know their sentimental nature during such occasions would not be suppressed for long.
T'Pau had less experience dealing with Humanity, but she sensed the emotions emanating from the young man before her and felt the increasing vibration of the bond. It would have been an expected reaction between newly bonded Vulcan mates, but they were already bonded and T'Pol appeared to be fully in control. Regardless, she called for a break. "We will meet back here in one hour." The council members stood to leave.
Archer was at Trip's side. "What the hell just happened? It's like you just got membership in some secret Vulcan club."
Trip laughed to himself, completing the childlike description of his friend in his head. 'Yeah, Jon and they just clued me in to the secret handshake that goes along with it.' He instantly felt T'Pol's questions as to what he meant. "I'll explain later, darlin. Right now I want some privacy with my wife."
"No secret club Jon. I just officially became T'Pol's husband." He left out the citizenship for now. Starfleet might not accept that news very well.
"You're married?"
"We've been unofficially married for some time now. We just didn't know it until he transferred to Columbia." T'Pol informed the shocked Archer.
"How do you intend on keeping this from Starfleet?" They'd just gotten transferred and promoted. It seemed careless to risk that now.
"We don't have to keep it a secret. All we have to do is use some discretion and not break any regulations. The agreement we made with Starfleet guarantees we will always be in compliance with the rules." Trip and T'Pol had spent many hours carefully wording the document that would determine their future for several years to come. Trip wasn't about to let anything or anyone come between them.
"So Kilmer must have already known about you when he made the agreement?" Trip had definitely changed. He had learned not to trust his future to fate. He'd always known Trip was a very talented engineer, but Starfleet must be in worst shape than Archer knew about if the Admiral was allowing them to work the system this way.
"He never said so directly, but he implied he knew. Now if you'll excuse us I need to consult with my wife." T'Pol followed him in search of a secluded space. Soval lead them to an empty room down the corridor.
"Are you okay with this?" Trip was concerned that the abruptness of the ceremony or whatever that was would be upsetting to T'Pol.
"As we considered ourselves married it is of no importance. We were married in my mother's atrium." He was her husband in the eyes of her people and he was now a citizen and would always be welcomed on Vulcan. That's what she cared about.
"I like the way you think. Thinking of that day as the day we were wed and not you and Koss suits me just fine." He wrapped her tightly in his arms. "I'm sorry I couldn't hold it together in there. I just wanted to hold you. Felt like if I didn't touch you I'd go crazy."
"When you feel this way you may touch your fingers to mine. If you wish it to be unnoticed simply stand behind me and request I place my hands behind me." She told him this was an acceptable way for Vulcans to touch in public, but he still felt apprehensive about initiating physical contact with her in public.
"I know you told me that was acceptable for Vulcan bondmates I just didn't know we could do it anytime I needed to."
"You are my T'hy'la. If you have need of my touch to calm or reassure you then you shall have it."
"Why did you call me T'hy'la?" Trip knew what it meant, but T'Pol had only called him Ashayam in the past.
"It is what you are. It means..." She hadn't consciously thought about it, the word just came to mind. Perhaps the ceremony today had more importance to her than she was willing to admit to herself and her bondmate. It deepened the connection between them. Not in a tangible way, but in some undefinable place within her.
"I know it means we're soulmates. I just wanted to know why the change, but it doesn't matter because I feel the same way about you." He kissed her passionately, breaking it off when the realization of where they were and the impending return to their meeting crashed into his brain.
"I wish to be alone with you as well, but there is much to discuss and I am yet unsure as to what the High Council has in mind. But they have put some plan in motion and we must remain focused."
Trip thought about how this day had started. Being married and a Vulcan citizen hadn't even been passing thoughts before T'Pau brought it up. They had not really talked about making anything official or legal between them. He figured they would get around to it eventually, but it wasn't a priority. They were together and that's all he cared about. "I know and I'm fine now. I just needed to hold you for a minute. If I'd known I could do that ozh'esta we could have stayed in the meeting."
Maybe not T'Pol thought. Captain Archer had been ready to pounce when they stood before the priest. She'd heard the commotion. The fact that Malcolm knew enough about Vulcan mating rituals, from Trip, to have figured out what was happening made him stop Jon from interfering, but he wouldn't have remained quiet for much longer. Trip should have known the priest doing a mind-meld would have caused concern. Jon hadn't suffered any damage from his experiences, but he didn't see them as totally pleasant either. He'd been worried that Trip had gone to the Vulcan ship and melded with T'Pol.
The day progressed with The Starfleet Captains voicing their views on the war with the Romulans, Earth's need for assistance from the members of the Coalition, and what type of assistance Trip and T'Pol felt they needed. All that was said only touched on the periphery of the subjects.
The Council assigned Ambassador Soval to meet with Captain Archer and Commander Shran in the morning, on Enterprise, to negotiate with the Andorians for their aid in advancing Starfleet's warp drive and starship technology. Soval was to assist Archer in convincing Andor to work with Starfleet and the Vulcans to protect the Alpha Quadrant.
Returning to the ship created quite a stir. Jon had mentioned the marriage to Hoshi and Travis when he got to the bridge. Word spread like wildfire. When Trip and T'Pol entered the mess hall for dinner the lights were low and the room was eerily quiet. The plan had been to get something and take it back to their room, but in the back corner a table was set for two with table linens and candles. A crewman acting as a waiter directed the couple to be seated. He then poured each a glass of wine before leaving them to enjoy it. Trip glanced around the room noting the rest of the crew attempting to be inconspicuous. Knowing how impossible that was on a starship he and T'Pol agreed to aid them and pretend they weren't there.
By the end of the meal Trip decided that Chef must be a romantic. He had pulled together a special dinner in record time. The first course was bread and a hearty vegetable soup and a salad. Next came stuffed peppers with white wine risotto. Followed by a selection of desserts.
As the couple left the crew members offered congratulations to them both. Trip thanked them all for keeping things low key and promised a big party to celebrate once they reached Earth. He'd intended to throw a party for the crew to say goodbye, to celebrate all the promotions, and the continued assignments on board ship for those who requested it. He wanted to do it while they were on leave and find a place that was big enough so all the crew would be able to attend. Now they just had one more thing to be thankful for.
They finally were in their quarters. The wine had relaxed Trip. He laid on the floor placing his head on a meditation pillow, pulling T'Pol down with him.
"I've thought of you as my wife since you told me about the bond, but now it's official." He hadn't thought it would matter if they married or not. Nothing really changed. They weren't anymore committed to being together than they were this morning, but the bonds between them seemed more powerful and stronger.
"My adun." T'Pol laid her head on his chest as she closed her eyes and breathed in the unique scent of her husband.
Trip's hands went to work removing the robe she wore. He had every intention of fulfilling his duties as a husband, leaving no doubt how blissfully happy he was to finally be bound to her in every way possible.
-----
The meeting the next day was different. The room was less formal, but the attendees were the same as yesterday. T'Pau began.
"Captain Tucker we need to discuss your status as a Vulcan citizen and what that means for you and Vulcan."
"Minister T'Pau, I don't mean to interrupt, but I know what it means and I chose to honor Vulcan's culture and traditions before I became a citizen and I will continue to do so."
"I am aware that you have acted as any Vulcan would in protecting our heritage and our standing in the Coalition, but we need to be certain of your future actions. The Romulans pose a threat to Vulcan because of our shared ancestry. The Ministry of Security has recently discovered infiltrators at all levels of our government. This is an internal matter and will be handled once we determine what their intentions toward Vulcan are. If any of this were to become known before we are ready it could undermine all our efforts to aid Earth in this war."
"We understand that. When you inform Starfleet or the UE about the Romulans is up to you. I suggest you do it sooner rather than later. There has to be a way it can be kept confidential and will only help to strengthen the ties between our two governments. I'm only here to ask for Vulcans help with our technology. We don't have months to spend trying to reinvent the wheel if we want any chance of stopping the Romulans."
The Vulcan Minister Kumak spoke up, pushing a schematic toward Trip. "Captain Tucker, what do you see as the major issues with this warp drive?"
Tucker stood up and looked at the drawings before him. When he saw the specs for the warp drive Starfleet have given him just days ago Trip was beyond shocked. "Where did you get these?" He looked at the specs again rubbing his eyes. What the hell did it matter? He'd have given them the specs if they'd asked. The Vulcans had already reached warp 7 and beyond. "Never mind."
Trip pointed at the specs and started with the immediate lists of problems. "The warp reactor's too big, these nacelles won't work, there's not enough power to get to warp 5 much less 6, we need a smaller impulse engine for the main part of the ship, and we need better shielding. The good news is the warp drive will power a ship, but you couldn't fly it unless you can do without a crew."
Trip looked at the Kumak. "That's off the top of my head, sir." He shook his head. Every time he thought about this he got angry. Why had Starfleet agreed to build a prototype that had no chance of flying? Did they even look at the specs?
Kumak, from the Ministry of Science, looked to Minister T'Pau. She nodded affirmatively for him to go ahead.
Trip didn't recognize the Vulcan male who spoke, but he did understand his words even tough he spoke in his native tongue. "Minister T'Pau you need to reconsider. This is classified information."
The minister in charge of security had voiced his opposition to sharing classified material with Earth very vocally. T'Pau responded in Vulcan. "Minister Sorren we have discussed this. If we do not assist the humans to advance their technology the Romulans will take over the Alpha Quadrant and eventually Vulcan. Does you have another way?"
Trip interrupted speaking in Vulcan. "Minister Sorren is it? I understand your reluctance, but if we can't find a way to make this Coalition work we might as well just give up and let the Romulans take over. T'Pol and I are committed to making this work. I'll do what ever I have to to keep Earth and Vulcan safe." He wanted to let them know he understood their position. It felt somewhat satisfying to surprise them with the knowledge that he had bothered to learn their language.
The air in the room changed. Trip could feel pride from T'Pol, but he had no idea whether the shift was good or bad. With a little time he would have been able to read these Vulcans, but he didn't have the luxury of time. Sorren studied Trip.
"If he is to be treated as a citizen of Vulcan he should be subject to our laws and be required to take the loyalty oath."
"He's an officer in Starfleet. We cannot expect him to pledge his loyalty to Vulcan over Earth. And if we did how would we enforce it? Go to Earth and execute him?" T'Pau stared pointedly at Sorren.
Kumak must have decided the Security Minister had nothing more to object to, so he continued. "We have discussed the ramifications of Vulcan openly assisting Starfleet. We are not prepared to openly declare war on the Romulans, but we are prepared to assist you. Your assertion that the Romulans will not stop if they were to defeat Earth we agree is correct. Therefore when you return to Earth we will provide you, Captain Tucker, with the specifications for a new type of power matrix. Our engineers may also be able to assist you in using the nacelles from the NX class starships you have. We are trusting that you will not disclose, even to Starfleet, where the technology came from."
"You have my word, but I have to tell them something." New power matrix designs didn't just appear out of nowhere.
"I'm told you are a talented engineer. It should not be difficult to allow them to believe you are responsible." T'Pau suggested.
Minister Kumak added. "You will need to retrofit the original design for your starship."
"I'll think of something." Trip was uncomfortable taking credit for something he didn't do, but they needed the technology.
The minister moved on. "The final matter we must discuss is the Ministry of Security's belief that many on Vulcan and on Earth will object to the joining of a Vulcan to a human mate. Security will be provided to you and T'Pol once you reach Earth. Also if we are to allow Vulcan citizens to work at your facility certain precautions will need to be taken." The new High Council had to walk a fine line to keep Vulcan and it citizens safe and keep the Coalition together to defeat the Romulans, while reforming the internal workings of their government and preventing infighting.
"I'll contact Starfleet as soon as I leave here and start making the necessary arrangements. Is there someone at the consulate that can act as a liaison between us?" Getting Starfleet to place a blackout order around the area shouldn't pose a problem. Coordinating security on Earth by Vulcan security agents might be a little trickier, but that was Admiral Kilmer's worry not Trips. Starfleet needed Vulcan and Vulcan wanted to protect their people and their interests.
"Ambassador Soval is the one to ask. I have given him authority to act on behalf of the High Council in this matter. He will assign staff and will also arrange full access to the consulate for both you and T'Pol. There you will have a secure subspace frequency, so that you have access to Vulcan if needed."
T'Pau then looked at T'Pol. "I may seek your advice. Having spent time among humans and also being the mate of a human gives you a unique perspective of the problems we face." T'Pol had expected to be shunned by the High Council. She'd been ready for it. Not really believing things would change from the oppressive rule of the former High Command. She could still see the distrust and contempt in the eyes of some, but they wouldn't openly defy T'Pau and be seen as doing anything that might put Vulcan at risk. T'Pol wasn't sure if her new status was because she was Vulcan or because she was a Captain in Starfleet and married to Starfleet's top warp engineer.
The two Starfleet Captains returned to their ship. The meetings with the High Council had been more productive than hoped. No concessions were made for working with the Andorians nor was the idea discouraged. Whenever the subject was broached the topic changed immediately. Sensing a divide amongst the members of the Council Trip let it go. Ambassador Soval must have known what the High Council intended to do and he was currently meeting with Captain Archer and Commander Shran.
The couple went directly to Archer's Ready Room when the shuttlepod docked. "Captain Tucker, Captain T'Pol may I offer my congratulations." Shran offered Trip his hand as he nodded to T'Pol.
Not sure what they were being congratulated for they each responded with "Thank You, Commander."
Shran walked back to the table and sat down. "Captain Archer has been very persuasive in pointing out the necessity for Andor to cooperate with Starfleet in stopping these vile creatures."
"Yes, and do you agree?" T'Pol asked even though the venom in his words said yes.
"There was a time I would have said the Imperial Guard would not work with Vulcans for any reason. We can no longer afford to fight each other or we will all be subjects of the Romulan Empire." A darkness could be seen in Shran's eyes.
"Has Ambassador Soval made Vulcans stance clear?" T'Pol's best guess was that the Council had left the question open on purpose.
Soval answered. "We have agreed to work together at your facility under the direction of Starfleet. It is a beginning." Soval bowed his head slightly as he perceived the sigh of relief from Trip. Trip and T'Pol would have command over Vulcans and Andorians
"The Imperial Guard will fight alongside the members of the Coalition. Andor understands the truth in Captain Archer's assertion that without the Coalition the Alpha Quadrant will be overrun."
"Are you sending us engineers?" Trip asked impatiently.
"The Chancellor will give you the details. He had requested to speak to both of you personally. A transmission has been arranged for tomorrow." Shran had no details of what the Imperial Guard was prepared to offer.
Trip rubbed his hands down the side of his face. They all wanted to help, but didn't want anyone else to know. Let's work together but separately at the same time. It was giving him a headache.
Hoshi came into the room. "Captain Tucker. Ambassador Gral of Tellar left a message for you."
"Okay. What was it?" Trip asked expectantly when she failed to finish her statement.
"He just said he needs to speak to you and will rendezvous with Enterprise in 2 days our way back to Earth." Trip didn't bother to ask how he knew where Enterprise was and when they were leaving to return home.
Neither Trip or T'Pol had been in contact with the Tellarites, so had no idea what this was about. He looked around the room. "Anybody know what he wants?" Nobody did. Good news was he had nothing to prepare for with an unknown agenda.
---
Trip paced back and forth across the cargo bay. Thoughts whirling around to fast to comprehend. Back and forth. Back and forth. Now breathe. T'Pol had been trying to locate him, but he had blocked himself out of the bond for the most part all afternoon. She waited for his control of his shields to slip. It would if only for a moment although he had become an expert at constructing places in his mind to keep things to himself. His worry, frustration, and doubts. All to protect her from his inner demons.
She found him. Upon entering the bay she simply leaned against the door and waited. Too much had happened too quickly. Not good or bad, just stressful. T'Pol was beginning to understand that as a Vulcan she had been taught to approach new situations without thought or feeling, just as tasks to be completed. Having too many tasks just meant you worked harder and meditated more to fit them into the larger scheme of things. Trip meditated and it helped him to relax and think more clearly, except when overwrought and drowning in his own thoughts. The effect was to create excess energy that needed an outlet. T'Pol had come to see that the outlet sometimes had to be physical and sometimes mental.
"I'm sorry T'Pol. I did it again."
"Why are you apologizing? You have done nothing."
"I thought my shields had gotten stronger, so I could keep from disturbing you."
"You have not disturbed me. I have been assisting Commander Reed with the duty rosters and evaluations of the crew." It's when they finished that she became concerned. The flutter in the back of her mind that told her her mate was not harmed or in any danger remained, but that was all.
"I came down here so I wouldn't bother you." He kept pacing. "Too much to think about. What have I gotten us into?"
"You did not get us into anything. We decided this together."
Secrets were starting to weigh Trip down. Vulcans wanted to help, but don't tell anyone. The Andorians offered shielding technology and engineers to help design and build the impulse engine, but you can't tell the Vulcans. Now the Tellarites wanted to offer assistance, but their technology was inferior, but they did have ready access to raw materials and dilithium crystals. All they had to do was get Starfleet to agree to a reciprocal agreement that would allow them to bring engineers to Earth to be trained while working on the warp project in exchange for the materials the Tellarites would provide. And none of them wanted the Romulans to know the Coalition members had done more than sign an agreement. Three species who were distrustful, arrogant, and secretive all housed secretly in the same place with he and T'Pol playing referee. And just this morning Admiral Kilmer requested he consider offering classes to the Starfleet senior engineering cadets, including hands on instruction. When he was supposed find time to actually think about and build a warp six engine and starship was becoming harder and harder to fathom.
He had hours of meetings to attend when they arrived back at Starfleet headquarters. With all the classified information floating around so freely the Captains had decided communication over subspace was not secure enough. It seemed everyone had broken Starfleet's encryption codes. A fact that Trip had brought to Ensign Sato's attention with a suggestion she start working on creating a new one before they found out the hard way that the Romulans also had access to classified communications.
Then he had his parents. They knew T'Pol was a friend. That they had been parents to a cloned child together. And that's it. He hadn't told them anything else. They'd want to know why he'd gotten married without telling them. He didn't even want to think about the fact that they weren't there. His little brother wasn't going to be much help. He'd be just as put out with him. He might be saved when he told them he was staying on Earth, if they weren't unhappy that they were buying a house in the San Francisco area. He wasn't sure how they'd feel about T'Pol being Vulcan either.
T'Pol listened to his thoughts as she watched him pace. "You need to stop thinking. Come with me."
Trip stopped, searching her face for several seconds before he moved to follow her. They arrived in Engineering.
"Commander Hess I believe Captain Tucker has some time to assist you in Engineering." T'Pol had already spoken to Hess earlier.
"Yes, ma'am. We can always use an extra set of hands." Handing a padd to Tucker. "There's the next items on my list for today. Take your pick." Trip studied the list.
A young ensign overhead saw this. "You'd think she'd find something more than grunt work for him to do. He was the chief."
Trip started to reprimand the young man, but Hess stopped him. "You take care of that. I'll take care of him." Pointing to the padd as she climbed the ladder to reach the next level.
Rostov leaned in. "She's got your whole spiel down word for word. You trained her well. Won't let anyone bully her out of doing what has to be done to keep this engine running at peak and by the time she's done with him he'll understand that."
"I always knew she was good, but I worried she wouldn't be tough enough to stand up to the Captain when she needs to." Captains tended to forget that engines required time and finesse to keep things running when they became totally focused on the mission. He was also glad to see Rostov stepping up as her second. He had been less than thrilled to be working under a woman when he first arrived, but over time he had learned that she was a talented engineer and being a woman added another way of looking at problems. Hess taught Trip how to see things from a different perspective.
Walking into his office to retrieve his tools the changes were obvious. This wasn't his office any longer. The table at the far end of the room held all his belongings, neatly arranged, waiting for him to pack them in the crates on the floor. He was officially in charge of Engineering until Enterprise docked at Jupiter Station. But he had stepped back and allowed Commander Hess to take charge. She needed the time to build her confidence while Trip was still available if she needed him. He needed time to let go of the powerful connection he had established with this ship. The sound and feel of the warp drive become a part of him, but Hess needed to make it her own now.
Trip tweaked the EPS conduits in section J12 then moved on to recalibrating the injectors further down the line. The longer he worked the less stressed he felt. T'Pol brought him here and left saying she would have dinner waiting whenever he came home. He needed to do something that required nothing more than following a precise set of steps to accomplish. Gradually he rejoined their minds reassuring himself she had not been disquieted by his temper tantrum. Locating her in the Command Center speaking with Jon he quietly receded attempting not to intrude on their conversation. T'Pol felt the emptiness his absence left begin to return and asked him to remain. Stating 'Jon is your friend and only looking out for you. Please stay I have missed you'.
Jon asked T'Pol the same questions he had put to Trip. "I know Trip seems better, but then he has days like today and I worry that he's still hiding things. Is he really okay?"
"Captain, he has good days and he has bad days. Most of his days are good." This was true. They both had bad days. The trick was balancing each other out and trying to prevent them from occurring at the same time. The strain of channeling her emotions was manageable for Trip, except when he let his own worries overtake the rational portion of his psyche. Today had been one of those days. Too many secrets. Too many demands that required him to employ skills he possessed, but had little confidence in using. His new duties had pulled him away from the one thing that kept him sane all these years. Working with his mind and body to create and maintain a warp engine. He needed no praise or pats on the back. He drew satisfaction from the sound and feel of a perfectly aligned warp drive that could propel a starship as far and as fast as possible.
"He's never been very diplomatic. He tends to say exactly what he's thinking. How is he ever going to manage working with the Vulcans, Andorians, and Tellarites?" Jon had given this a lot of thought. The Andorians didn't trust either the Vulcans or the Tellarites. He wasn't sure where the relationship stood between Tellar and Vulcan. Humans seemed to be getting along with all three, but it would take a delicate hand to act as the mediator between them on a daily basis.
"Trip has learned to control his most volatile emotions when necessary. I will be there to assist him. When he gets lost he needs to reconnect with the engineer that is so much of who he is. It brings order to the chaos in his mind, so he can then meet the challenges he faces."
"It took me years to discover that about him. I always knew he was a talented engineer, but I didn't understand how much it defined him. He always said he wanted to command a ship of his own one day, but being in command of a ship or being on Enterprise for another war would destroy him." Jon wanted to be Captain. Maybe not during a war, but he'd known that was a possibility. Trip on the other hand wanted to see new worlds and learn new things. War and death had never been a part of the adventure he sought. Space exploration had proven to be a very violent and costly undertaking. Tucker was a very capable commander, just not suited for commanding a starship, especially during wartime. Archer finally appreciated the choices his friend had made recently.
"Trip takes care of me and I will care for him. There will be many challenges, but we will be fine." Trip was feeling the pressure of their new command, as was T'Pol. Jupiter Station was less than a day away. The Vulcan did not worry but sought ways to do her duty in the most efficient way. The human worried if he was up to the challenge of a marriage, command, and getting Starfleet the best possible ships with which to defeat their newest enemy.
"Darlin, he worries too much about me when he needs to worry about himself." Trip knew Jon would not take the time to allow the wounds of the expanse to heal because he needed to be in that same mindset to defeat the Romulans. He knew Malcolm would survive the war mentally, but he worried that Jon would sink farther into himself and become more isolated. As much as he wished he could stay and be there for Jon Trip knew he could not. His life was forever intertwined with T'Pol and they must set a new course.
The images of the when Trip Tucker made the decision to change the direction his life had been built upon played like a movie in her mind's eye. Trip stood at a door beating his head and fists against it, trying to get it to open, for the longest time. Tired and distraught he finally stopped, turned, and searched for the source of the tickle in the back of his head. Finding the seed of hope standing before him he abandoned all necessity to ask why, and simply reached out his hand and waited. A hand interlaced with his. The lifeline they both needed. Some unspoken promise was forged between the two beings. The final image she saw was herself and Trip standing hand in hand with many paths before them.