AN: To all those that review regularly, I really do thank you. It means so much to me to here how people are taking the story and how people relate.
Warning: Language and extremely sensitive subject matter.
It's around four a.m. and all I really want to do is sleep. I don't remember being this tired in a very long time. I was furious before, but now that my anger is spent, I'm just tired. My hands are red and scraped from punching the wall and I was advised to have it looked at professionally but I just can't be bothered.
I love doing what I do, I'm good at it and I help serve my country. I love my country. I hate the politics however. People don't have honor anymore, they don't play by the same rules that I have played by my entire life. People don't have dignity either. DiNozzo would have died if I wasn't quick enough, and if my director wasn't polite enough, and all the bullshit that goes into it.
DiNozzo has honor and loyalty. Fuck that, he has courage. He did what he thought was right when he knew exactly how difficult it was going to be for him. Tony did the right thing simply because it was the right thing to do. That's rare in people today. If someone ever told me that I would come to respect some kid from New York who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth I probably would have punched them for being so ridiculous.
And politics? Twenty four hours ago they were ready to crucify him, my director was ready to wipe his hands of him, and now? Now, Tony is the poster child of NCIS. NCIS came in solved the case and saved the day. I know that's a good thing, but I'm too wrapped up in everything else. Where are the apologies? Anthony Di fucking Nozzo is not mafia, his family is not mafia; if anything they were victimized by them. Andrew Rossi, the cop that everyone was weeping over turned out to be dirty. The world is going to Hell.
Oh, and Meagan Broome? Abby and Ducky found some very compelling forensic evidence that I followed up on. Eventually we learned what happened. Her death had nothing to do with Carmine, James or Christian. Her rapist boyfriend Brandon Johnson's father paid a hit man to take care of Meagan Broome. It turns out that as much as she hated Mary, she hated her boyfriend for cheating on her more and was planning to testify with her evidence, (that evidence being the recording of him raping Mary that she used to torture Mary with). The Johnson's father had her killed and put her in the coffin so that the family would be charged with the murder and no one would think twice about looking at the Johnson family. Mafia never even touched Meagan Broome's life.
The good guys were wrong and bad, and the suspected turned out to be innocent. It looks so painstakingly beautiful for NCIS. NCIS beats out FBI and NYPD on a national case involving a common enemy, the mafia. DiNozzo for his efforts is getting a pay raise. That's great. When DiNozzo wakes up from the beating he received in gen pop I'll make sure to let him know. He has sustained enormous injuries to himself: broken ribs, fractured knee cap, concussion, blood loss (internal and external), and enough stitches to last a lifetime. He will have limited mobility for at least a month. But hey, at least he gets a pay raise. No apology though.
But you want to know the best part of all of this? I get to be the one to tell DiNozzo that despite his loyalty, bravery, and honor his family was ready to sell him out. And that ladies and gentlemen will be the final nail in the coffin. I am truly debating not telling him. I've never lied to him before, and I can't even believe I'm contemplating it now, but some part of me just wants to leave the kid the hell alone. He's been through enough.
His father and everyone in his family want to throw him a celebration party. I want to get him the hell out of New York as soon as he can make the seven hour trip home. Unfortunately, that's not realistic so I have made other arrangements. Tony has finally been taken care of by NCIS and is getting disability pay and the time off needed to recuperate from his injuries. I am taking a two week vacation to keep an eye on him. I also "working" a week in New York to finish up the odds and ends of the case, which really means a day and taking phone calls for the rest of the time. Tony will be living with me as soon as he is up to the trip. Until then we will be staying with his cousin Dominic. It wasn't hard to jump to the decision. The entire family had demanded entrance to see Tony, and I along with the entire medical staff prohibited them from entering his room which led to quite a disturbance. In the midst of it I noticed Tony's father sporting a black eye, and after assuming correctly it was Dominic that was cause of that glorious look, I spoke with him. I told him my situation and he immediately offered his house which I took advantage of and agreed to. I have a newfound respect for Dominic Leone. I no longer find him repulsive. In fact, Peter DiNozzo's black eye happens to be the most satisfying thing I've seen in a very long time. It truly was magnificent. It was black, purple, and blue with puss seeping out and a deep red cut at the top of it. I could have married Abby off to Dominic at that moment.
I have few doubts that this will not be okay with DiNozzo. Tony loves Dominic, and Dominic punched his father. What more could you ask for?
Tony makes some kind of snorting sound and I lean in. An eye opens and he looks at me hazily. This is the fifth time he's waken and like each other time he seems to have no recollection of waking up prior to.
"Hey", I say, "You with me?"
He nods his head sleepily.
"Like to hear you tell me that yourself."
He swallows and attempts it, "Hey boss", his raspy voice greets me.
I put my hand on his head. This is the fifth time I've had this conversation with him.
"How are you feeling", I ask.
He takes in his surroundings and keeps concentrating on his wrists.
"DiNozzo", I say, "You with me?"
He nods again, "Yeah sorry boss, what did you say?"
"I said how are you feeling?"
"I can't feel anything."
I smile to myself, "I guess that means the meds are working."
"I don't want them", he immediately tells me.
I lean in closer so our faces are almost touching.
"DiNozzo, trust me, you want them."
"Boss", he asks, "Where am I? This isn't the prison infirmary."
I smile, usually at this point DiNozzo would have nodded off.
"You were released. No charges. In fact you are getting a medal and a pay raise."
He looks at me curiously.
"You understand me", I ask him. He's slurring his words a little too much for my liking and drooling. His speech is almost unrecognizable; he has completely reverted back to his primary speech patterns. His jaw is loose, and he's pronouncing the words from the back of mouth, so this accent, plus the slurring makes it difficult to understand him. The drugs have relaxed him more so, so the jaw and tongue placement are even looser than before. His accent has never been near this strong. He's out of it for sure, but I do think he's comprehending.
"You just said I'm not in trouble", he states back to me, "And that I'm getting rewarded?" I barely make out the last word, it sounded more like "ur-or-eh,"
I nod and take a swab at the drool with my jacket. I ignore the flinch.
"What happened?" He says like nothing happened. Oh good, the denial game. Is that how we're going to play this DiNozzo?
"We figured it out", I tell him.
He looks at me expectantly.
"Not now okay", I tell him.
He shakes his head no.
"Tell me" he insists, "Is my family guilty?" He says it like, "Ell me, Si, (like sigh) amy ulty?" I don't even think he's trying to pronounce any letter that originates from the front of the mouth.
And honestly? About his family? Who cares? I could give a rat's ass about whether or not your family is off the hook. You almost died in there, and on top of that, it would have been a slow agonizing and demoralizing death. The nurses at the prison infirmary had to clean urine and sperm off of him. And he still didn't get a full shower so that means there are remnants of it still on him. Does DiNozzo care about that though? No. Just about his damn family.
"Only of kidnapping Meagan Broome, but they have been cleared of that thanks to Carmine's confession."
"I knew they didn't kill her", he says confidently. Well good for them and for you. Aren't you even angry about what happened? Okay, I'm being unfair, he's barely awake, but I can't calm myself, this whole thing just sucks.
"You were right", I tell him.
I then proceed to go through the whole deal with Bianca, Rossi, Sanctis, Broome, and everyone else under the sun. I had hoped that he would overwhelmed with all the information considering the state he was in, but not my DiNozzo.
"What does that have to do with me", he asks me.
Leave it to him to single that out.
"What do you mean", I ask playing dumb.
"Gibbs", he says quietly, "Please." (Not ibbs, not ease, damn it Tony)
I hold his hand and ignore the IV. With my other hand I cup his face.
"You remember what I told you after you kidnapped by that waitress?"
He smiles at me again, and I get that same reaction I did last time I ask him the question.
"Yeah", he says back hiding a grin.
"Tell me anyway", I tell him.
"That I was irreplaceable." That he pronounces almost perfectly. Good boy.
"That's right", I tell him, "Because you are irreplaceable." And one day, so help me God, I'll make you believe that.
He looks at me waiting expectantly. Shit kid, you're killing me here.
"Do you remember the Falone family?"
He nods, "I busted them." I hold for a second before I'm able to decode it, the letter B and T are not his friends.
"Yeah you did", I say back. "The Sanctis family wants to ally with them, and so it was decided that they would let go of their demands for the ports, and the blackmailing of Bianca if they were given something that would help them get in good with the Falone family."
He closes his eyes.
"They were going to trade me", he says.
I swallow back my emotions.
"Yeah Tony", I say. There's nothing else to say.
His face to falls to the ground and if he wasn't in pain before, he is now. He's devastated. People suck.
"Gibbs", he says, "Can you just leave me alone for a while?"
I'll respect that. I like to have my breakdowns without an audience too.
"I'll grab a cup of coffee", I tell him, "And then I'm coming straight back."
He nods, but doesn't look my way. I leave the room and try to settle myself. I also see a tray. Well hello misplaced anger. I push the tray of medical equipment over and I don't even care that five people are looking at me like I'm insane. DiNozzo and I cannot be the only ones to fall down. I grab my coffee and make my way back. I had planned on approaching the room charily to yes, eavesdrop, but upon hearing screaming from the room I rush in. I slam the door open and the scene in front of me halts. DiNozzo is on the floor in a corner with blood coming down from his arm, probably where the IV was ripped out. Three nurse orderlies are going at him and he is with some kind of needle is holding them at bay.
"What the hell is going on in here", I yell.
"Boss", Tony says shakily, "They aren't listening to me!"
He's still slurring his words but he's awake and at attention now. And he's much easier to understand him, still though, he sounds a bit like he's mentally challenged.
"Mr. DiNozzo", a male black orderly says, "Put the needle down, we are just trying to help."
"You stay the fuck away from me Chuckles", Tony yells right back, and then to me pleadingly, "Boss!"
"Hey", I yell at all of them, "Get away from him, I'll handle it."
"Who are you", a small redhead girl yells.
"Special Agent Gibbs", I say. That's all they need to know.
They aren't moving quickly enough so I yell just one more time to get my point across.
"Hey, now! Let's go, away from him!"
"Sir he's bleeding", the huge black orderly says, "He needs medical attention."
"Oh yeah", I ask him, "How's that going, because it looks like he's about to stab you."
"He is drugged", the man calmly responds, "He doesn't know what he is doing, and-"
"I do know", Tony says, "And I also know that I don't want you anywhere near me! I just came from fucking jail, you don't think I'll stab you?!"
"I told you", the blonde male nurse cries, "We should have kept the cuffs on him!"
That's it. I take my gun out. If anyone ever fucking touches DiNozzo again I'll fucking kill them. I don't care anymore. I just don't give a shit. This place is supposed to fix people, not exacerbate their problems.
"Everyone move away from him now", I say.
"Are you going to arrest him", the blonde yells.
"I'm going to shoot you", I tell him. And I think I actually mean it.
"You can't just shoot people", the redhead screams, "This is a hospital!"
Right because if I wanted to shoot them I would have to take them out of the hospital to a more shooting friendly place like a dark gutter.
"Does it look like I care", I scream, "Now away! Do we need warning shots here people?"
The redhead and the blonde scuttle away fleeing towards the door, leaving me with the biggest one.
"He needs help", he says unafraid. Well, I'm glad that this world doesn't have complete idiots in it, but why I do I always get stuck with the smart ones when I least need them?
"I'll let you provide it after I talk to him."
He finally nods and backs away, but doesn't leave the room.
"He's bleeding after the IV was torn out", he tells me, "I need to fix it"
I nod and scoot in to the corner where DiNozzo is hiding.
"Give me a minute", I tell him, "He's not going anywhere."
I crouch down to my agent.
"Hey", I tell him.
"I want out Boss", he tells me still holding the needle.
"Two days", I compromise.
"No", he says refusing, "I want out. I'm not staying here another minute, I want out."
"What happened", I ask him.
His eyes dart around.
"Where's the corn child?"
Oh the joys of morphine.
"DiNozzo?"
"Jason, whatever his name was."
"That was the other nurse", the biggest nurse provides.
"He left DiNozzo", I tell him. "You okay?"
He glares at me. Ask a stupid question…
"What happened", I ask.
With his free hand he inches his forefinger to me to come closer. I do so. Our faces are practically touching now.
"He started touching me", he whispers.
"Where", I whisper back.
He points to his hip. I happen to know that there is a giant bite mark there that broke blood which explains why Nurse Jason was attending to it.
"You have an infection there kiddo", I tell him. "Can I have the needle?"
"Not yet", he says, completely oblivious to the fact that I could very well take it if I wanted to. "I want to go home."
I nod my head.
"I know you do, but right now I need you to stay here for a little longer."
He looks like he's mulling it over, but ultimately refuses.
"No", he says, "I want to go Gibbs."
"These people need to take care of you."
"You don't want to anymore?"
Ah, the brutality of morphine is how honest you can become. The sober DiNozzo would never have said something like that.
"I will always take care of you", I tell him, feeling a little emotional more than I want to be.
"I told him to stop", he whispers to me. "He wouldn't listen."
"I'll make sure they listen", I say.
"When can I leave?"
"Let's take it a day at a time."
"I'll give you a day", he says emotionlessly.
"Alright", I say, "I'll take it."
Who are we kidding here, I'll be watching better than any hospital anyway. If there's an issue I'll just haul his ass back.
"Can I have the needle now?"
He shakes his head no.
"I might need it again."
"I promise you won't."
He looks straight into my eyes, apparently likes what he sees and hands it over.
"I trust you Gibbs", he says, "Please don't screw me over like everyone else."
I take the needle out of his hands and hand it over to the nurse behind me who quickly takes it.
"I'm not going to screw you DiNozzo", I say.
He doesn't move.
"Everyone does. Jeanne did, Chip did, my dad did, my whole family did, the director did, and now the cops did too. Even the nurses are! I have no one I can trust."
I slowly grab his arm and help him up.
"You have me", I say confidently, "I'll see you through, okay DiNozzo?"
He nods his head.
"I'm trusting you Gibbs", he says as I get him back on the bed.
I cup his face and have no words. This is all so fucked up. The other nurse comes around and helps me situate DiNozzo.
"Hey", DiNozzo yells, "I don't trust you!"
Which in DiNozzo speak apparently means, "You can't touch me." I put my hand out to push the nurse away and he immediately complies.
"I'm sorry sir", he says, "My fault."
I like this guy.
"His name is Tony", I tell him.
There is a bang on the door. Well that took long enough. I swear I could have shot both of them and left the building before it was reported that I had a gun on two nurses. DiNozzo however was not expecting any repercussions and jumps into the air. I sit on the bed next to him and wrap my arm around his shoulder.
"Hey buddy, it's alright", I tell him soothingly as security officers pour in with some man in a suit.
The suit-man speaks, "The hell is going on in here."
Tony whimpers. Well, shit. Next time DiNozzo asks to be taken off the drugs, I might just let- no what the hell is wrong with me? I need sleep.
"Nothing I say", while stroking my kid, heh, excuse me, agent. "There was a misunderstanding, it has been handled."
"I want him sedated", the man says, "And cuffed."
"You touch him", I say, "And you will regret it."
An army of security officers are ready to pounce and I can feel DiNozzo's breathing quicken. He's squeezing the hell out of my wrist but I don't care. If he breaks it, I'll just set it. He's scared to death and I'm not going to embarrass him further.
"Hey dickwad", I tell him, "Maybe you didn't get the memo, but those charges were dropped against him, he's no longer under the custody of the state, that's why there's no cop outside his door, and if you unnecessarily sedate him, so help me, you'll have a lawsuit like no other. This man is a hero and better than that he's my agent. Go ahead, test me. I know the best lawyers in town. You know Simona Parsano, that pretty bit that was on the news for upsetting the Meagan Broome trial? That's his cousin. I dare you to touch him."
Everyone in the room stops. The suit man eyes me and apparently decides that he doesn't need a lawsuit. Coward.
I show them my badge, "I'm going to have to ask you all to leave."
"Thomas", they ask the nurse that stayed behind, "Are you alright?"
"Everything is fine sir", he responds, "Not a problem, just a misunderstanding like Special Agent Gibbs said."
Finally everyone leaves except Nurse Thomas. He looks at me expectantly waiting for my call. This kid must have been in the military to be trained to handle the situation as well as this.
"He needs the IV", he tells me, "And I have a band aid for the blood."
"No", Tony groans, "No more, just leave me alone."
I hold him a bit closer.
"It's okay Tony", I say, "I trust Thomas okay?"
"No", he moans, "I want to go home."
"Well me too DiNozzo", I say loosing my patience, "But you're bleeding and you need an IV, you were hurt really badly."
He stiffens but doesn't shrug me off. "I don't feel bad."
"You can't feel anything because of the drugs, but trust me, it's bad."
"Okay", he says dejectedly.
I motion for Thomas to come forward and try not to feel like shit for yelling at him after everything he's been through, and after he "trusted" me. As Thomas reworks the IV, DiNozzo seems like he's nodding off.
"Hey", I tell him shaking him a bit, "Thomas has to check your hip okay?"
"No corn child", he tells me.
What the hell? Fine.
"No corn child" I repeat back.
Thomas goes around the bed and sits on the other end to get a better look. He pulls down the pants gently when DiNozzo suddenly becomes alive again and goes to throttle Thomas. I catch and hold him back while Thomas jumps out of his space. So apparently DiNozzo forgot where exactly his hip was in relation to the rest of his body.
"No", DiNozzo yells, "I said no! Get off me Gibbs!"
I comply. If he has to take a swing at Thomas than so be it. The man is huge and can take it. I'm not going to overpower him, not after what happened. He wants me out of his space, then fine.
"Tony" I say raising my voice, "It's okay, he just needs to check."
"I want my triple A papers!"
He means AMA, but like I said, he's out of it.
"DiNozzo", I yell at him, "Enough!"
"No" he yells right back, "You said I could trust you!"
"You promised me one night", I say right back to him.
"No I didn't" he screams.
Selective memory I see also is a side effect of morphine, that or the little shit is working me.
"He just needs to make sure it's not infected", I tell him.
"Why would my hip be infected", he asks loudly.
"Tony", I say exasperatedly, I'm too tired to know how to handle this.
"Oh", he says as realization dawns through the drug induced cloud. He completely deflates. I guess he remembers what else happened in the cell. His head falls into hands, and he starts rocking slightly.
Fuck this.
"You want to go home", I ask him.
He looks up at me, and nods.
"Get him his AMA papers", I say to Thomas. "We're done here."