Chapter 5

All they once had

"I don't know, Kirara. Alone with Miroku for a few days while Inuyasha and Kagome go back to the modern realm?" The taijiya talked calmly to her youkai companion as she trailed through the forest. Periodically she would bend down to pick up a stick or two to add to the pile accumulating in her arms. "I mean…you know how he is."

Kirara mewed contently, replying to the slayer as if they were having an actual conversation between two humans. She trotted alongside her master's sandaled feet, plucking a few twigs from the forest floor and holding them between her teeth.

"I just don't know if I could do it."

Sango bent her knees again to wiggle a stick from a patch of unruly grass. She held it in one hand, her brows furrowing as she fell deep into thought.

"You know, it's bad enough that he's picked up his little habit of womanizing again, but now he still after me too." She explained to Kirara, shaking the stick violently as she spoke. "He's so confusing! And perverted!"

Absentmindedly, her other hand curled around the stick and her fists tightened around it. Kirara mewled softly, trying to warn the slayer of her creeping rage.

"Sometimes I just wish he would pick a girl and move on with his life! Preferably one that is. Not. Me!"

Her fingers cracked the stick, and the sound of it breaking rang out into the quiet forest. She knew what she had just said aloud was a lie. Of course she didn't want Miroku to be with any other girl. Of course not...

"Sango?"

The slayer froze in place, her mahogany eyes fixing to a unimportant blade of grass. Her heart started to pound. She knew that voice. How long had he been standing there? Had he heard every mean word she had spoken? Now that she had said them, that he may have heard, she wanted to take them all back.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice dripping with suspiciousness. She tried not to look so shaken, but she couldn't help it. Her heart was still hammering.

Miroku looked at her with a raised brow. Was he being accused of something or what? He looked away, his cheeks warming a bit as he bent low to gather a few sticks Sango had absentmindedly dropped as she ranted to Kirara.

"I just thought I'd come help you get the firewood. You've been out here awhile. I was getting worried." He explained carefully and softly, not trying to start anything at the moment. The red hand mark over his cheek with still fresh and slightly stinging from when he had received it quite awhile ago.

"I don't need any help." The slayer quickly replied.

It was silent for awhile as they stared intently at each other.

"Look. I'm sorry about earlier, Sango, really I am. You know I can't help myself sometimes." Miroku explained in a soft tone, so he didn't upset her.

Sango just looked disgusted.

"It's just that...old habits die hard. And all we've already been through...I-"

"Shut up- SHUT UP!" Sango shouted. She listened closely to the silence, her cheeks becoming bright red. She could have sworn she heard voices behind her, somewhere in the dense woods. Was she really that jumpy? Paranoid?

"Fine. I'll go. I just thought maybe we could try to make up or something before Inuyasha and Kagome leave. It wouldn't be much fun if we spent all that time together being mad at each other." The monk muttered, turning on the heel of his sandals.

She knew he was right. But it wasn't his groping that bugged her. It wasn't the fact that he was womanizing again. It wasn't the fact that he was such a pervert and would always remain one. It was the fact that they couldn't be together, no matter how much either of them wanted to. The slayer wanted to fall into his arms, kiss him just once, but she couldn't, for the sake of their lives, for everyone's lives. She didn't want him to get hurt either, and she certainly didn't feel like having her heart broken.

"No, no. Miroku...I'm sorry." Sango whispered, keeping her voice low, her hand filled with sticks, shaking madly. She wanted to touch him, even if just for a second or two. But unseen eyes were watching, waiting to catch them in the act, and she didn't want to end up hurting the monk, or getting her own heart broken again. So many things complicated this.

Miroku nodded, staying in place. He too wanted her affection, right now, forever. He filled the empty place she had made with the womanly warmth and affection of other random women he asked to bear his children.

"I just thought I heard something, that's all. Please...help me?" The taijiya pleaded with forgiving eyes.

Miroku didn't protest or question her sudden pleading tone. He was grateful for it with every fiber of his body. Even if they couldn't touch, tell each other that they were still in love, at least they could be near each other as they picked up worthless sticks for a fire they probably wouldn't even make.

They tried not to speak too much, tried to stay a safe distance from each other, but their attempts failed and their intentions changed. Soon, they were standing close, laughing with bright, true, smiles on their happy faces. They joked and talked about things that didn't matter, that usually weren't funny. Some were secret jokes that only they understood. Sometimes they just looked at each other and started laughing, and other times they looked like they were on the verge of tears.

All this happened in the few minutes they spent away from the other two, simply gathering sticks. It was getting harder to deal with, this massive pressure on both their shoulders. It was only getting more and more tense the more they tried to hide their feelings. They couldn't laugh so freely, or else someone would suspect something.

It took awhile for them to really notice they had dropped quite a few sticks as they walked absentmindedly through the forest without picking up any new ones. They weren't getting anywhere with this firewood collecting. It didn't help to steer their minds elsewhere either because they could still sense each other's eyes on one another. It was awkward, tense, a horrible feeling that they wanted to fulfill but couldn't.

That was when they realized that this wouldn't work, being together. And how they would always have that awkward moment where they would pass by each other, or look at each other and remember everything they once had.

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Sorry it took so long for me to get this chapter up. And look at it. It's so small. Grrr. I went on vacation with my dad for christmas break and then I got grounded from the computer for breaking my mom's phone right when I came back. SO SORRY. Next chapter will be better, I promise.

haydenlover19- I WOULDN'T DARE!!!

Kyo- Yeeeeah. Seriously, I think Kagome had a brain fart when she asked him to go, or maybe I was having a brain fart when I made up the idea for her to have a brain fart and ask him to go. Iunno man you'll just have to see.

Alexa- Right in front of you? Never heard of it. I might look it up sometime. XP. Well, you'll find out with happens in the party thing in a chapter or two. Don't worry.

MyInuyashaObsession- Yeaaah. Inu and modern day parties don't really...mix...well...or...yeah, you'll see.

BlackParade- ... OO Wow...uhm...I love you too?

Interruption- Iunnoooo! We'll see if Hojou's there or not. You did give me a good idea though. Hm. ponders

Twig- I'm glad you liked them! Random, eh? Well, sorta. I actually made an okay plot to this one. Really, it's just a setup for the se... I mean...Look- a butterfly... walks away quickly

xcurlyinuyashax- HEEEEYYY! Look who's back. Hi there. And sorry for leavin' you hanging like that. MEMEMEH. My bad. Random.

Wait a minute...am I losing reveiwers?