Disclaimer: The characters and concepts of Naruto belong to their rightful owner. I own nothing and make no profit from this work of fiction.
Warnings: Dark themes, including torture. Swearing and yaoi (man x man). Please don't read if you're sensitive to this kind of thing.
Author's Note: Last story of the unravelled series. This part is longer than I expected it to be! I originally intended to only write two parts in the last installment but once I started writing I couldn't stop. I'm thinking of making it three parts. I hope you enjoy and please let me know what you think
Weapon
Part Two
Raidou stared at Genma with a sick feeling in his stomach. The game was up, and he hadn't wanted to lose the way that he just had.
Genma, his childhood friend and ally, his comrade in arms and his only love, had just learned that Raidou was a lying bastard. The feeling that gave him wasn't pleasant at all and he'd give his right arm and leg to see that cold look on his friends face disappear.
He'd known, going into this, that it wouldn't end well. Things that involved Genma seldom did, if the downhill slide that had become the man's life was anything to go by. The moment the Hokage had told him what was going on and then swiftly forbidden him to say anything to his partner about it, Raidou had foreseen just how big of a wedge it would drive between them.
It made him feel sick and his heart ached for the pain he was causing Genma.
Genma moved his eyes at last from Raidou's and swept over Tsunade and Shizune.
"Shirunai, what are you doing here?" Tsuande said, after the tense moment had abated somewhat.
Raidou couldn't say a thing if his life depended on it. His tongue felt swollen and useless in his mouth, and his throat felt as if someone was choking him. It seemed like his words had completely deserted him. Not that there was much he could say faced with such a situation. He couldn't exactly fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness from his lover in front of everyone.
"I saw a commotion and came to see what was going on," Genma replied slowly, not looking at Raidou. "Seems there's a whole lot more going on than I thought."
"There are reasons I didn't want you to know about this, Genma," Tsuande told him calmly. For once, her own volatile temper was held in check and she seemed remarkably calm in the face Genma's anger.
"I'm sure there are," Genma answered. "I want to be on the team."
"No," Tsunade said immediately. "It's too dangerous, especially for you."
"I don't care. It's my fault those bastards are still alive and hurting people. It's my fault our shinobi are dead. I intend to rectify that," Genma insisted.
Raidou's mind was screaming at him to intervene. It was too dangerous for Genma, and there was way too much at stake. He felt the need for revenge himself, and he intended to sign up for the teams, but he didn't want Genma going.
For one thing, he had too many unresolved anger issues to deal with. Such emotions in the middle of battle were vulnerability, and Raidou wanted Genma to stay safe and to stay alive.
But again, he couldn't seem to form the words to reason with Genma. He needed to talk his best friend down, but the surprise of Genma's appearance had sent his mind into some kind of numbing shock.
"And how is it your fault they killed our people? What could you possibly have done when you were in that condition?" Tsunade had her arms crossed, and that determined glint in her eye that told of her readiness for a fight. "You could barely move enough to get your ass out of there."
"I killed them! I know I did. Their blood was on my hands. I drove the Kunai through his throat for fuck's sake!" Genma hissed. "It doesn't make any sense that they're still alive. I killed them!"
Tsunade regarded Genma for a long moment, her lips pursed. Shizune was looking for Tsunade to Genma, biting her lip with worry in her eyes. Raidou couldn't do anything more than watch.
He was useless.
"It's true that you have information that could prove vital," she conceded at last. "If you're willing, I'll have some people question you for what you know. But for now, go home Genma. I have things I need to organise."
She turned away, but Genma stepped forward.
"I still want to be on the team."
"I'll think about it." Tsunade tossed over her shoulder as she walked away.
Genma and Raidou were left alone, and he could do nothing but stare at Genma's back. For a moment, they were all alone in the crowded mission room, and an uneasy silence existed between them.
The moment passed and Genma turned towards the door.
"Genma..." Raidou blurted in a panic, unsure of what he wanted to say.
His friend wouldn't even turn to look at him. His shoulders were tense and his posture closed off; Genma was practically radiating anger and a strong 'don't touch me' vibe.
"Genma, can we at least talk about this?" Raidou asked softly, wanting desperately to look into those honey coloured eyes.
He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Genma and bury his face in his soft, soft hair. Raidou wanted to hold that strong, lean body in his arms and reassure himself that he was still alive, and that he really was in Raidou's life still.
Those bastards hadn't killed him, they hadn't tortured him to death; nothing could defeat Genma, though it had been close several times.
"I have nothing to say to you right now," Genma lowered his head for a moment. "Just....leave me alone for awhile, okay? Just give me that, at least."
And then all Raidou could do was stare at his back as Genma walked away from him and disappeared out the door.
Raidou was almost sick with worry, but he forced himself to keep his distance for Genma as he had requested. He hadn't done much right for his lover recently, and he had a deep seated fear that he had screwed it up badly enough that Genma wouldn't be able to forgive him.
He'd known, going into this relationship thing, that he was lousy at it. He'd even told Genma that on several occasions.
But it had been so easy with Genma. They'd always gotten along well, always bickering over something, bouncing ideas and insults off each other as easily as they breathed. They'd had each other's backs since childhood, and they each knew that down to their bones.
But the love aspect that Genma had introduced into their friendship had changed things in little ways that hadn't seemed significant at the time, but made the world of difference in the long run.
Raidou knew he was a screw up and his relationship with Genma was just another failure to add to a long and growing list. He didn't deserved Genma, and he had lost him so soon after they had begun.
It wasn't fair; fate seemed to dislike him or something, because he never could get things in his life to work the way they should.
He had lost people he cared about, friends, family and loved ones. He had seen things that chilled him to his bones and haunted his dreams. He had trained hard and fought hard, and in his mind it seemed that no matter how hard he tried, most of his memories were tainted with the dull feeling of disappointment and unworthiness.
Genma had been one of the bright spots in his life, and he had gone and screwed that up royally. Raidou sighed quietly to himself.
It was autumn in Konoha, and as usual, the skies were heavy with the threat of rain and bad weather.
Raidou stood at the grave marker of his sensei and wondered just when he had lost control of his life.
A frigid wind tugged at his clothes, and Raidou smelled the heavy scent of rain in the air. It would start to pour any minute, but he didn't feel a desire to return to the apartment he shared with Genma.
He was a coward, he knew that. But Genma had requested space, and he had no idea where he was. Although he was pretty sure he wouldn't be at their home, he didn't want to risk it.
Raidou traced the letters of his sensei's name with his eyes.
It had almost been Genma's gravestone marked in the same cemetery where he presently stood. That very thought made him almost paralysed with fear, and he shivered as another gust of wind ripped at his clothes.
Raidou wasn't afraid to go out there and face the men who had hurt Genma. He wanted vengeance, and he wanted to stop them with all of his heart, and he was more than willing to sacrifice himself for the cause.
No, he wasn't afraid to face them in battle. But he was afraid of what would happen to Genma if he was allowed to go.
There wasn't anything he could do to help Tsunade make up her mind, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to. Genma was his own person, and he had his own battles to fight.
Raidou couldn't protect him forever, especially when he didn't want to be protected.
A fat raindrop landed on his shoulder, and he turned his face up to the sky, closing his eyes as the heavens opened and the rain started to pound down on the thirsty earth.
"What would you do in my position, sensei?" he asked out loud.
His only reply was the sound of the rain and the lonely howling of the wind.
The apartment was dark and silent when Raidou returned soaking wet and tired. He closed the door quietly behind him and kicked off his sodden sandals.
His Jounin jacket and his shirt were dropped in a pile by the front door. Raidou shivered slightly in the cool air of the apartment as he moved towards the kitchen.
Standing in front of the open fridge door staring at the left over's in their containers didn't accomplish anything, but he found himself doing it anyway.
The weather still howled out its fury outside, and he had no idea what to do for dinner. He wasn't particularly hungry, and he had no desire to eat alone in the dark.
"Raidou."
Swallowing his instinctive yelp, he slammed the fridge door shut and whirled around in one smooth move, turning to face the source of the voice and pressing a hand to his pounding heart.
"Shit, Genma."
A lamp clicked on in the adjourning living room, and Raidou took some much needed gulps of air.
"Sorry," Genma shrugged, and Raidou frowned as he looked his friend over.
He was acting remarkably calm and collected, considering. His eyes glittered in the low lighting, intense with some emotion Raidou was too far away to read, but at least he wasn't shouting and throwing things as he had expected him to.
"How long have you been here?" Raidou asked, in lieu of having anything better to say.
"A little while."
Swallowing down the guilt and pain at how closed off Genma was acting, Raidou nodded and turned away to get a glass of water. He stood at the sink, turned away from Genma as he drank his water.
"So that's how it's going to be between us from now, Raidou?" Genma asked, sharply.
Raidou could hear him moving closer but didn't have the courage to face him.
"Are you so ashamed that you can't even look me in the eye anymore?"
"How do you want me to act, Genma?" Raidou asked, setting his glass down. "What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to look me in the eyes for starters," Genma replied, a hard edge to his voice that spoke to Raidou of the anger he was holding in check.
Sighing almost silently, he turned around and leaned back against the counter before crossing his arms and staring at Genma.
He had always taken Genma's good looks for granted before they had gotten together. The man was so casual and laid back most of the time, that whenever he was angry or irritated it completely transformed his face. His eyes sparked fire, his cheeks sported angry colour and his brow furrowed in a way that shouldn't be attractive but was.
"How long did you know?"
Raidou knew that Genma would have questions. There was no more reason to lie to him now that the cat was out of the bag, but that didn't make telling the truth any easier either. He'd had enough of lies and half truths though, and if Genma was going to risk his life recklessly, then there was nothing he could do to stop it.
"A couple of weeks ago. Tsunade told me when the first team was found," he answered, not moving his gaze from Genma's animated face. "Shizune's team found them near the border."
"And all this time, you said nothing to me? You acted as if you had no idea."
There was no mistaking the accusation in his voice. Raidou was heartsick, and he really didn't need Genma rubbing his mistakes in his face, even if he did deserve it. He knew how it was going to end anyway, and he'd hoped that Genma would be able to see through the anger to the real reason why he hadn't been able to tell him anything.
"I couldn't, Genma," he said simply. "Tsunade-sama ordered me to...."
"I would have thought that wouldn't have mattered when it came to us, Raidou. I would have thought you'd trusted me enough by now."
"I'm sorry."
And it was true, he was sorry. But there was also the duties he had to the village and to the Hokage, and he'd been raised as a shinobi of Konoha. Defying orders was something that didn't come easily to him, especially when he could see the sense behind them.
"I am sorry," he continued when Genma didn't say anything further. "But you'll forgive me for not wanting you to rush off and get yourself killed out of some misplaced sense of guilt for the people who have died."
"You really think I'm that reckless?" Genma asked, entering their little kitchenette.
"Not reckless, no. Angry," Raidou replied. "I didn't want you getting yourself killed. Is that so bad?"
"You could have had faith in my ability to know what's right and wrong."
"I said I was sorry. I can't do anything more than that," Raidou said helplessly. "I didn't want to hurt you or betray your trust. I only ask your forgiveness."
"Only?" Genma snorted. "That's all? That's just like you Raidou, giving up before you've even started to fight for something you want."
"Are you calling me a coward?" Raidou straightened at that, anger sparking somewhere in the depths of his chest. "After everything we've been through, you're calling me a coward?"
"I'm not the one who turned his back on what we have as soon as you learn about something I wouldn't like. You're the one who doesn't have enough faith in me to trust me to make the right decision for both of us." Genma said, his voice low and sharp as he approached.
Raidou narrowed his eyes at Genma, trying to control his own temper. It wasn't as if he had wanted to do this to Genma. He hadn't done any of it by choice.
"You can attack me all you want Genma. Call me names, call me a coward. But it doesn't change the fact that I was only doing my job. I was following orders," He said as he lowered his crossed arms. "Maybe that's something you should think about before you go charging off to get yourself killed for no reason."
"You have no idea what I'm going to do, Raidou," Genma snapped. "Don't act as if you know everything about me!"
Raidou smiled at him sadly.
"No. I don't suppose I ever will, huh? After all, no one can stop you from doing what you want, can they? No one can make Shirunai Genma do something that he doesn't want to. That's the way it's always been, hasn't it? You lead, I follow."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, Raidou."
"Maybe if you stopped and thought about it for awhile, you would."
"This is pointless. Why are you acting as if I'm the one who's done the wrong thing here? You're the one who lied to me!"
"And I already apologized for that. What else can I do? You want me to beg? Would that make you feel any better?"
"Shut up, Raidou." Genma was in front of him now, gripping his arms tightly and shaking him a little. "Just shut up."
They stared at each other for several minutes. Raidou didn't know what to say to him, and he had no idea how to make it right again. Genma was the one who needed to forgive him for what he had done, and Raidou had no idea how to go about earning that forgiveness.
The only thing he could do was give him time and space to sort out his feelings and to calm down. There was only so much they could achieve by trying to force the other to see the different perspectives of a situation.
If there was one thing he had learned during the course of his life, it was that understanding came with time. Experience was what kept a shinobi alive in the field, and that only came from hard earned lessons in battle. Blood sacrificed and blood taken was the quickest and sternest teacher one could have.
Sighing, he stepped away from Genma and the man let him go without a fight.
"I'll get my things."
He made his way to their shared bedroom, trying to push aside the ache in his chest and the pain in his heart. This was what he needed to do. He needed Genma to sort himself out and figure out how he felt about him, and he sure as hell knew that Genma couldn't do that with him hovering around, not when every time he laid eyes on Raidou the betrayal and anger was renewed.
"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Genma demanded from behind him. "Where are you going?"
"I'll go stay with Izumo and Kotetsu. You don't want me hovering around here do you?"
Genma said nothing to that, and so after a moment of silence, he turned away with a heavy heart.
He threw some clothes and weapons into a bag. Instead of going back out there to see Genma once more, he opened the window and crouched on the sill for a long moment, hanging his head.
Genma was right; he was a coward.
"I take it things aren't going so well with Genma then?" Iruka asked quietly, placing his clipboard down on the desk.
Raidou tilted his head back and looked up at the ceiling. He was leaning next to his friend in the mission room waiting for Tsunade to make her morning appearance.
It hadn't been a good night. He'd lain awake on Izumo's couch for most of it, unable to keep his mind off of Genma at all. He missed his warmth wrapped around him at night, missed the way he smelled, the softness of his hair, his quirky, dry sense of humour.
But most of all he missed having Genma at his side.
Raidou didn't know what to do. He was honour bound to follow orders given by the village and the Hokage. He was also bound by love and obligation to his partner, and deciding which to follow and which to break was an impossible decision that he just wasn't strong enough to make. It saddened him greatly that Genma couldn't see that. Even though he knew Genma's anger and hurt were completely understandable, he knew there wasn't anything he could do to make Genma see why he had done what he had.
They were at an impasse it seemed, and it seemed insurmountable.
Still, he knew without a doubt that where Genma went, he would follow. No one had Genma's back like he did, and he loved the man too much to just let him charge off into battle without someone to back him up. No matter what happened between them, that would never change
"No. Not so well," he murmured.
"I'm sure he'll come around," Iruka offered with a smile. "He's not an unreasonable man. He just needs time to cool off."
It was true that Genma wasn't an unreasonable man. In fact, he was an incredibly intelligent and astute person. But he wasn't sure Genma would see reason when he was hell bent on revenge on the people who had tortured him near to death. Hell, the very thought of those people filled Raidou with helpless rage but he had weighed up the pros and cons of the situation and come up with the only solution. He would go on the mission to serve Konoha and to ensure that no one else got hurt as Genma had.
No one else had to die.
The door slammed open and Tsunade marched in, her eyes scanning the room before they settled on Raidou.
"There you are. Genma has agreed to go along with our questioning," she said. "I thought you should be there."
Raidou straightened in surprise.
Genma didn't talk about what had happened to him. Whenever anyone had tentatively asked something about it, he had shut them down briskly and so completely that they didn't bother to try again. He had opened up somewhat to Raidou, sometimes surprising him with bits and pieces of information, but beyond that Raidou didn't know much about what had happened, though he supposed he knew slightly more than everyone else.
That Genma had volunteered to submit to an investigative questioning was something that had come completely out of left field and smashed into him like a fist.
"Raidou?"
He blinked at her for a moment before gathering his composure.
"I'm not entirely sure he'd want me there, Hokage-sama," he said slowly, trying to be as neutral as possible.
She eyed him speculatively once more.
"Not getting along?"
He shook his head wordlessly. Not getting along was a bit of an understatement in his book, but he knew better than to point that out to their temperamental leader. He and Genma were getting along like cats and dogs, only more explosively.
"Well, it might interest you to know that Genma requested that you be there," Tsunade continued, as Radiou gaped as her in astonishment. "Not in the same room, of course. But he wanted you there. I'm not about to deny him that small measure of comfort considering the kind of thing he's about to relive."
She paused then and shot him another sharp look.
"Are you?"
He snapped to attention.
"Of course not!" he replied automatically, somewhat offended that she'd think he'd leave his best friend and lover like that.
She smiled minutely at him then and turned back towards the door.
"Good. Follow me."
The Hokage tower was a maze of hallways and rooms and chambers that one could get lost in if they didn't know the building. Raidou suspected that the people who had designed it had done that intentionally, as an attempt to make it a little harder for would be assassins and ambushers to find where the Hokage was at.
The building itself extended deep under ground, where large libraries of scrolls, texts and artefacts were stored, carefully maintained by shinobi with top secret clearance. Some of the information held in those scrolls were forbidden and protected by deadly traps and jutsu's. Raidou himself had never spent much time down there, but he knew Genma had.
That man had a penchant for poisons that was frankly a little disturbing. He was always reading the weirdest shit on how to make new ones, or how to neutralise known ones, or how to invent poisons that hadn't yet been thought of. The depth of Genma's dedication to his art of poison was something that Raidou wouldn't go near with a ten foot pole. Some of the things he knew were scary even to him, a fully trained battle hardened Jounin.
But just above these storage areas were holding cells and interrogation rooms. While prisoners weren't actually held in the tower, some times they needed to be questioned closer to where the Hokage was for matters of convenience.
It upset him a little that they were questioning Genma in an interrogation room; that kind of environment would hardly be productive for the kind of memories Genma would be recalling.
A hard knot had formed in the pit of his stomach, and thick nausea threatened to choke him. While he would be there because Genma had asked it of him, it didn't mean he was happy to have to hear the kinds of things they would be discussing. He wasn't sure he could stomach listening to the horrors that Genma had been subjected to, but he would. For Genma's sake, he would be strong.
"Don't look so worried," Tsunade said, shooting him a look over her shoulder. "This is just a standard debriefing. We're going to make sure we cause him as little distress as possible, considering the circumstances."
"Then he could pull out at any time?" Raidou asked, a little doubtful of this.
"He can," she confirmed.
She was quiet for a moment.
"I am not a young person, Raidou," she said slowly, her voice quieter than it had been before, echoing in the shadows of the hallway. "I have lived a lot longer than most Shinobi ever do. I have seen things that I would rather forget. I have seen what torture does to people, and I have seen the people who create such torture techniques."
Raidou knew that of course, but he had never heard her speak of it before. There was much rumour surrounding their Sannin Hokage, and it was sometimes difficult to know what was true and what wasn't.
Tsunade didn't make it any easier. She gave nothing away and played her cards close. In some ways, it was necessary in a leader, in other ways it was a disadvantage. Tsunade though, she had it down to a fine art.
She tempered her defensiveness with a compassion and kindness that were often hard to see underneath blunt words and a straightforward way of thinking.
"I've seen the way survivors are changed by what was done to them, and to the people they love. It eats away at them and it blinds them to things that are obvious to others," Tsunade continued. "Genma hasn't talked much to anyone about what happened, am I right?"
Raidou nodded silently.
"This could be good for him. He needs to…exorcise his demons, as it were. Get things off his chest," she stopped outside a door at the end of the hallway. "In light of that, I need to know that you won't interrupt the questioning, no matter what he says or does. If he wants to stop, then that's fine but I won't have you interrupting something that could be vital to this mission. If you can't handle it, then you'd best leave now. Am I understood?"
He straightened as she stared at him.
"I understand. And I'm not going anywhere."
She nodded and turned back to the door, her hand resting on the handle for a moment.
"It's good that he has you, Raidou. He needs your support now more than ever."
"Are you going to let him go on the mission, Hokage-sama?" he asked quietly, waiting with baited breath.
She exhaled almost silently.
"That depends on what we learn here today. In any case, he'll have my answer by this evening when I draw up the squadron lists. Okay?"
"Okay."
The room Tsunade had led him to wasn't an interrogation room to Raidou's relief. Instead, it was more like a reading room. One of the walls was see through, and looked into the next room, which was empty except for a table and two chairs.
Genma was sitting in there with his hands clasped and resting on the table. His head was lowered and his hair obscured most of his face.
"He can't see us," Tsunade told him. "The wall is under an illusion to look solid from that side."
Raidou nodded mutely, staring at his friend with a pain in his heart unlike any other. Genma was completely still, almost as if he were a statue but Raidou knew that his mind was racing beneath that emotionless façade.
The room they were in wasn't unoccupied. Ikibi stood in one corner, with Shizune next to him. An Anbu captain he didn't recognise was there as well, but Raidou paid them no heed.
"Who's going to be questioning him?"
Tsunade spared him a look.
"No one he knows," she murmured. "It's easier to speak to a complete stranger sometimes."
Raidou could understand that all too well. If it had happened to him, he wouldn't want to subject those kinds of horrors on anyone he knew either.
He watched as a plain, non-descript man entered the room quietly and took a seat opposite Genma. Radiou didn't know the man either, but that was probably a good thing.
"Quote your name, serial number and rank, if you please."
"Shirunai Genma, 4532891, Special Jounin," Genma intoned emotionlessly, not moving a muscle.
"We'll get this done as quickly as possible Shirunai-sam. Please answer my questions to the best of your ability. If you can't answer, then please say so."
The shinobi opened the plain manila folder he had carried in with him, and there was a brief pause as he scanned the contents.
No doubt it was the mission report that someone had written down as soon as Genma had been able to dictate it from his hospital bed, as well as medical reports and paperwork from the initial mission request.
"Tell me about the mission you were assigned."
"S-Class mission, assigned by Umino Iruka at the mission desk."
"You requested that mission, correct?" The nameless shinobi looked up from the papers.
"I requested an S-Class mission," Genma corrected slowly.
Raidou clearly remembered that day. He remembered seeing Genma across the room, remembered the hollow look in his eyes. Raidou remembered the hollow look in his eyes as he turned away…
"Any particular reason you requested an S class mission?"
Genma paused, as if he were mulling through the options of how to answer that and not give away the fact that Raidou had broken his heart.
"No particular reason, no," Genma said at last.
"I urge you to answer truthfully, Shirunai-san."
Genma's head jerked up and he levelled a formidable glare at the shinobi. It almost made Radiou smile at the defiance in his expression.
"I took the mission because I wanted it. How is that relevant to what happened?" he demanded.
Raidou silently agreed; it wasn't relevant, and Genma was under no obligation to answer any of the man's questions. He was there of his own free will, volunteering information that he hadn't revealed in the long months since his return.
"Hmm. Let's continue shall we? What happened during the mission? Anything unusual?"
Genma was staring at his hands once more, but Raidou could see his face this time. His mouth was slanted down unhappily, and his eyes had that far away look he got whenever he was remembering something particularly unpleasant.
"The mission went smoothly. A simple break and enter, memorize the contents of the scroll, leave before anyone noticed I was even there."
"Did anyone see you?"
"No. There was no one. I made sure of it."
"Nobody followed you out of the village?" the man questioned, rifling through the folder.
"I would have noticed if they had," Genma had that stubborn set to his chin that meant he wasn't going to back down and start doubting himself. "I set traps behind me, quiet ones that wouldn't alert anyone else to my path. I back tracked and doubled back to make sure that I would throw off any pursuers. There's no way any one followed me back from that village."
"What happened next?" the shinobi asked with infuriating patience and neutrality.
"It was three days journey back to Konoha," Genma answered eventually, exhaling slowly as he sat back in his chair.
His arms were crossed now and his shoulders hunched slightly, as if even now he was protecting himself from danger. Genma was so tense, the lines around his mouth and eyes betraying just how tightly strung he was.
Raidou glanced at Tsunade, who was frowning slightly.
"You'll stop it if..." he began to ask tentatively.
"I will," she said curtly, cutting him off. "I have no intention of letting this drag out for longer than it has to."
Raidou nodded resignedly and turned back to his study of Genma. Regardless of her reassurances, he would be in that room in a heartbeat if he thought Genma had had enough.
"I was tired and I knew the information I had learned was important to Konoha. I didn't stop to take any breaks," Genma continued slowly, as if he was having trouble getting the words out.
That had been a mistake, Raidou knew. It was important for Shinobi to take at least short breaks to keep alert and keep going when they needed to. But sometimes that wasn't possible, especially when one was carrying important information, or when they were being pursued.
"They came at me out of nowhere," Genma said tightly. "They ambushed me. I was more concerned about someone following me so I didn't consider the possibility that someone would be waiting for me."
Genma stopped then, his jaw clenching. Raidou could see his hands tighten where they gripped his biceps.
"It was dark and there was no moon. I couldn't...couldn't..." Genma stopped then and didn't continue.
"Take your time, Shirunai-san," The shinobi said kindly. "Would you like some water?"
Genma shook his head.
"Please continue when you're ready."
"They'd taken me down before I even realized what was happening. I must have hit my head because I don't remember much after that. I think they drugged me."
"There were traces of drugs in your system when you were admitted to Konoha hospital, yes," the shinobi confirmed.
Genma only nodded in response.
"Do you remember anything from your time in captivity?"
Genma gave a bitter laugh. "Do you want to know how they half drowned me trying to get me to talk? Or how they burnt me with red hot Kunai? Or perhaps how they broke my fingers one by one?"
"Please, Shirunai-san. You know I have to ask these questions."
"Yeah I know."
He had never heard such a bitter tone in Genma's voice before. Maybe this whole thing had been affecting Genma more than he had let on. Genma was good at hiding things, he had always known that. But just how much had he been keeping from Raidou?
It was a startling revelation, and not a particularly pleasant one. It made him angry and furiously helpless. Most of it was directed at himself. Had he been so blind that he hadn't seen just how much the most important man in his life had been struggling?
It was a sickening thought, and it only made him hate himself more. He wasn't strong enough to help Genma, and he was a foolish man for believing everything had been fine.
"Start with what you remember first, if you can. Remember that you can stop this at any time you want."
"I can't though, can I? Our people are dying out there. A whole squad is dead because of this," Genma snapped at him. "What kind of coward would I be if I wasn't able to face a simple questioning?"
"No one thinks you're a coward, Shirunai-san. Please continue when you're ready."
Raidou noticed that the man's hand hadn't stopped moving over his notepad whilst the exchange had taken place, and he frown with distaste. The man's lack of emotion was starting to grate on his nerves, and he wondered if he should have volunteered to do the questioning himself.
He doubted Genma would want to talk to him though, after everything he had done.
"What do you remember first?"
"I woke up in a small cabin. From what I remember, it was a hunter's hut, up in the mountains. It had two rooms. I was kept in the dark most of the time, so I couldn't tell you much about the place. And when I was awake, well...there wasn't much time for observation if you get my meaning."
The shinobi nodded.
"Is there anything you can tell me about your captors, Shirunai-san?"
"There were....four I think," Genma had lowered his head again, and his eyes were closed as he thought about it.
"I never did see their faces. They wore masks and covered their hair. They never spoke to each other whenever they were around me. The only speaking they did was to ask me questions so I never learned any of their names."
"Damn," Tsunade swore softly.
Raidou glanced at her quizzically.
"They were professionals," she explained with a ferocious scowl. "These are the kind of people who live solely to torture for information."
Raidou swallowed his growing nausea and looked back at his friend. He was no stranger to torture. Hell, he'd had a few run-ins with enemies before, but never professional torturers. He'd never been subjected to the horrors that Genma had been.
"The fact that he got out of there alive is a miracle in itself," Ibiki said, moving forward to stand next to Raidou. "Most people would be dead within a day or two. But Genma held out for days, and still managed to escape alive. I've only met a few people who've done that before, myself included. He must have an iron will."
"He is stubborn," Raidou managed with a humourless smile. "What I don't understand is how they're still alive? Genma said he killed them and I believe him."
"Let's listen and find out shall we?" Tsunade suggested grimly, her eyes locked on Genma.
"Are you able to tell us anything else about your Captors?" the nameless Shinobi asked.
Genma shook his head wordlessly.
"You know that different countries use different ways to extract information from their subjects. What can you tell us about the techniques they used on you?"
"What kind of question is that?" Raidou protested.
"Quiet Raidou, or you'll have to leave," Tsunade said sharply, throwing him a pointed glare.
He subsided reluctantly, and forced himself to pay attention once more, unsure of how much more he could stand to hear.
"The first day they beat me. I can't say how long they were at it for," Genma's voice had taken on a hoarse quality that was tearing at Raidou's heart. "Can't say that I took much notice of anything except getting the pain to stop. That's the day they broke the fingers of my right hand. Got a couple of ribs too."
Raidou's hands were clenched so hard his nails were cutting into his flesh but he didn't care. All he cared about was sitting in that room reliving some of the worst memories of his life.
"When they finally stopped they threw a bucked of water over me to wash away the blood and vomit. I was mostly unconscious when they threw me back into the dark room. They dragged me out at dawn and stripped me half naked. Then they strapped my arms to a plank and began to dunk me into a trough of water and held me down so I couldn't fight."
"Using water…Could be a hidden mist technique," Ibiki murmured from beside Raidou.
Tsunade merely hummed her acknowledgement.
"What happened after that?"
"Then they broke the fingers in my left hand. When they got tired of that they found a garrotte..."
"Fuck," Raidou closed his eyes and hung his head, swallowing the lump in his throat.
"Don't look away," Ibiki mutter to him. "He deserves respect for what he survived through, not your pity. At least give him what he's due."
Raidou would have been angry at him had he not been hurting so badly.
"...they'd choke me until I was half unconscious, then ask me questions. When I didn't answer them, they'd do it all over again. I didn't....look, do you need all the gruesome details?" Genma demanded all of a sudden. "Do you really need to know all of this? I fail to see how this is relevant to the mission!"
"Do you need a break, Shirunai?" the shinobi asked, looking up from his writing.
Genma said nothing.
"I'm calling it," Tsunade said in the silence. "We'll take a five minute break here."
She turned to face Raidou.
"Perhaps he could use some moral support? I think he could use a friendly face," she said meaningfully, inclining her head to where Genma sat hunched over the desk, his head resting on the table.
Raidou swallowed and nodded and Tsunade turned away to confer with Ibiki.
He left the room slowly, forcing his body to move. It felt like he was trying to move underwater, as if a great weight were constricting his limbs.
He opened the door to the interview room and gestured the nameless shinobi to leave the room. To his credit, the man nodded briskly and gathered up his file before moving past Raidou and closing the door behind himself.
For a long moment Raidou had no idea what to say. Genma hadn't looked up when he'd entered and he could see the minute tremors that were shaking the mans frame.
"I thought I'd put all of this behind me, you know?" Genma said suddenly. "I thought I'd moved on. But I'm starting to think that maybe I've just been ignoring it this whole time."
Raidou swallowed thickly and moved a few steps closer.
"I don't think it's the kind of thing that you can just move on from," he managed, hating how raw his voice sounded. "I think...I think it's the kind of thing that you're going to struggle with for a long time. You just...have to learn how to live with it."
Genma rolled his head towards Raidou and opened his eyes. A small, humorless smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, and it made Raidou pathetically glad to see it there.
"When did you get so wise, huh?"
Raidou managed a smile of his own and closed the distance between them, crouching down at his side and gripping his shoulder.
"I've always been wise, Genma. You just never shut up long enough to realise," Raidou smiled at him shakily.
A startled laugh broke free from Genma, and it ended in a sad sigh.
"When did we get so fucked up?" he whispered. "I never wanted..."
Raidou moved his hand to the nape of Genma's neck, knowing that this was important. He needed to show Genma that he could be strong for the both of them. No matter how screwed up things were between them, they were still a united force to be reckoned with.
"I know, Genma. Don't worry about us now. We'll work it out. Just...concentrate on getting this over and done with, yeah?" he murmured, pressing his forehead to the side of Genma's head. "I'll take you out and we'll get roaring drunk. Or we can go for sweets and ice-cream after. Whatever you want. How does that sound?"
Genma had relaxed a little, and he'd stopped trembling at least, and that was something.
"Like heaven." Genma paused. "I'm glad you came, Raidou. It helps, knowing that you're near."
Raidou gave him a full smile this time.
"How could I leave you when you need me the most? Idiot," he whispered, brushing his lips subtly against the side of Genma's neck. "I'll always be near, Genma."
"You know...you know that the same goes for me, right Raidou?" Genma asked, fear clear in his voice. "No matter how much we fight, I'll never just leave you."
"I know, Genma," Raidou exhaled and looked at the floor beneath him. "Things aren't okay between us. We need to sort this out but....lets just concentrate on getting through this for now, okay?"
Genma nodded and sat up in his chair. Raidou stood up, satisfied that he had reassured him at least a little. He squeezed Genma's shoulder for a long moment, wanting to hold him instead, or kiss him senseless so he forgot all the dark memories running through his mind.
Instead, he released his shoulder and turned for the door.
"Raidou."
He paused with his hand on the door and looked over his shoulder at his lifelong friend.
"Thanks."
With a small smile, he nodded and left the room, returning to Tsunade's side to watch the rest of the gruelling interview.
TBC
A/N: I am interested to know if people would like to read the last part of Genma's ordeal, or if you would prefer to just move the story on. I am quite happy with this peice of writing and I hope you are too!