Patient File 83996
Name: ABARAI, Renji
Age/D.O.B: 7/31st August
Gender: Male
Blood Type: B
Date Admitted: February 27th
Renji suffers from a sever OCD centring around baboon and other similar animals, as well as snakes. His mother took him to a child psychiatrist when she found him trying to turn his bedroom into a rainforest (rain courtesy of a watering can suspended from ceiling. String on spout would create rain when pulled). Since he cannot find any real baboons he has taken to making them (we believed he received sewing lessons from ISHIDA, Uryu). To date he has made 99. His favourite is a baboon with a snake for a tail. The tail stretches about 5 meters and the body has something in it which leaves a nasty bruise if hit with it. Renji calls it Baboon-King Zabimaru and usually uses it to hit people annoying him and to chase Shiro/Ichigo (see KUROSAKI, Ichigo) away form Rukia (see KUCHIKI, Rukia).

Renji's temper tends to be volatile but use of sedatives is prohibited due to his young age.

Patient File 90803
Name: KUROSAKI, Isshin
Age/D.O.B: 43/10th December
Gender: Male
Blood Type: AB
Date Admitted: January 21st
Suffers from a condition where he gives psychiatric advice to people needed or not. Unfortunately he only worsens their condition.
To date he has sent 5 people to suicide plus 14 attempted. He has also caused 2 mid-life crisis' and 5 nervous breakdowns.

Father of Ichigo/Shiro.

Patient File 55437
Name: AIZEN, Sosuke
Age/D.O.B: 42/14th September (?)
Gender: Male
Blood Type: AB-
Date Admitted: April 22nd
A former magician who suffers from a sever god complex. He is often seen in the company of Gin and Tousen. He often tries to hypnotize people with a coin. We believe he accidentally hypnotized himself during a performance at the Karakura Theatre Centre. So far only Gin Tousen and a reluctant Ulquiorra have chosen to humour him and aid him in his quest to "Create the Oken and conquer the heavens"

0830 HRS
Rukia vomited on Renji when he tried to give her his fish for breakfast. She didn't look good so he thought fish would make her feel better. He was very upset.
He has locked himself in his room because he thinks Rukia doesn't like him anymore.

He has given us the clothes for washing however.

0922 HRS
We cant get the stain out of Renji's t-shirt. Orihime put all the bleach into the porridge so we have to use hand wash instead.

*NOTE*Find a way to keep Orihime away from the bleach. Chad almost ate the porridge this morning.

1053 HRS
Renji isn't letting anyone other that Urahara into his room. I'm pleased he's finally opening the door again but I wish it wasn't for Urahara though. I can never tell what he's thinking but I do know he's never thinking anything good.

The new patient, Aizen, has been eyeing Baboon King Zabimaru (To be known as BKZ henceforth) suspiciously for twenty-five minuets.

1101 HRS
Aizen has befriended Gin, which for some reason worries me even more than Shiro does. They have been huddled in the corner of the lounge on the good chairs .

1227 HRS
Aizen looks ecstatic (in a bad way) and Gin is smiling.
They are plotting something, I know it.
Unfortunately I don't know what problems these two may cause together since Aizen only arrived yesterday, so I cant prepare for anything specific.

Rukia has apologized to Renji for vomiting on him.
When she explained Renji hit Ichigo on the head with BKZ many times and called him 'nasty man'
I gave him some mint humbugs for his trouble.

I still haven't found a way to legally castrate Ichigo. Damn red tape.

1642 HRS
Renji is spending too much time in Urahara 'shop' for my comfort. He is easily impressionable after all; Urahara will turn him into another Ichigo just to 'liven things up a bit' if he's given even a millimetre to work with.
I think this is where he got the materials to make BKZ since I cant think of anyone else capable of smuggling foreign objects into a psychiatric hospital.

Aizen is lurking in the hall way near Renji's room with Gin, Tousen and Ulquiorra.
Although Ulquiorra looks unenthusiastic…
then again he always looks like that.

1731 HRS
Renji's baboon-snake crossbreed plush toys have disappeared.
How he managed to loose 99 plush toys is yet another mystery of Thirteen Court Psychiatric Facility.

Renji is not happy without BKZ.
He is taking his anger out on Chad's parakeet.
This isn't a good thing to do. Chad is very protective on it.
I wouldn't be surprised if he died for that bird.
And Renji is hitting it on the head with a finger-sized version of BKZ…

Where is Ichigo? Chad's making gestures at me again……

*NOTE*Learn how to speak chad-ish. Relying on Ichigo is demeaning. Its giving him an edge…

1822 HRS
Ichigo managed to distract Chad by telling him Ulquiorra wanted to learn about (the Almighty) Yuichi.
We have not found Renji's toys but Aizen keeps sneaking of to ward 5 and gin is smirking.

1853 HRS
Chad tried to throw Ulquiorra out of a 5th floor window, not that Ulquiorra was complaining.
We only found out because Chad made some sort of Aztec noise that accompanies sacrificing a victim to (The Almighty) Yuichi and they last a while before he performs the ritual.
It helps that is one of eight times when he ever speaks so we knew something had gone wrong since it wasn't one of the festivals.

Ulquiorra is complaining loudly but I cant be bothered dealing with him right now, he's going into solitary for a while.
I have enough to worry about with Renji's missing plush toys.

STOP WATCHING ME! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!!!! IF YOU WONT LET ME KILL MYSELF THEN STOP WATCHING ME!!!! WHY?! WHY WONT YOU STOP WATCHING ME?!1922 HRS
We found Renji's plush toys.
Aizen has made himself a sort of throne room in one of the solitary rooms on ward 5.
When we opened the door Ulquiorra was greeted by 128 pairs of googly-eyes from the 'army of the Arrancar'

According to Aizen they are a terrifying race bred specifically to aid him in his 'journey to the heavens'
I say they are aiding him on his journey to a 2 week solitary ticket.

Ulquiorra has suffered a severe relapse.
He wont even help Orihime with her cooking anymore. (apparently even the most depressive of clouds has a silver lining)

2259 HRS
Renji has just left Urahara's 'laboratory' looking more murderous than when Rukia told him she was pregnant.
He was carrying a bottle of some goopy green substance… I have no idea what he is going to do with it.

Rukia had a craving for mint humbugs dipped in chicken flavour gravy granules. She made Shiro try some.
He vomited on Urahara clogs.

I found this very amusing. Sadly the board rejected my motion to have him castrated, again. Damn that red tape…
I gave Zangetsu to Zaraki instead. Hopefully that should irritate him.

0032 HRS
Shiro put Zaraki into intensive care and is now in possession of both Zangetsu and the nameless kendo sword.
In hind sight giving Zangetsu to Zaraki was a bad idea.

Shiro is now camped out o the roof with enough chill-chocolate toastiest to a month.

0457 HRS
Renji was seen leaving Ulquiorra room with a empty plastic bottle.
This worries me for some reason.

I just saw Urahara walking past eating Renji's humbugs

0821 HRS
Ulquiorra…
Has…
Pink…
Hair…

"THAT'S THE BASTARD THAT ABBANDONNED YACHIRU!!!!!!!!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!"
"YYYYYEEEEEEAAAAAARRRRRRGGGFGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
0942 HRS
Zaraki broke Ulquiorra arm.
Ulquiorra seems happy about this for some reason.. Probably because he thought he was: 'finally going to leave this wretched world'
Zaraki has been knocked out.

…what kind of drugs did the Kurotsuichii order?! These cant be legal…
Oh blow it. If I can get some sleep I don't give a damn.

He he he he he. I am so evil. As requested by the demon quessns sitter, an new chapter. I havent got quite enough material in the works fo four chapters at the moment so this willl have to do for now, but i am on it. I have finally got my imagination back after a breif recession, so expect updates. i dunno how often, but expect them. As always opinios and ideas ar welcome (Flamers will die a painfull deat via Kanda-in-a-pissed-off-mood & Mugen). In respomse to the comment from pippin's socks, i know about the punctuation ant it is a constant thorn in my side. its like breakfast. i have no idea why it exists, it does though. i intend to re upload the grammartically correct versions of the chapter later on. If i can get my spell check to work again.... i swear it hates me more than sasuke's hair looks like a ducks but.

wow... that was a bad anology....

Rate and review!!!!!!!!! I will give you cookies!!!!!!
Natarii
xxx