DISCLAIMER: I own O.S.M.S. and Zach… nothing else.

AUTHORS NOTE: Thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers! Thanks for hanging in there with me.

-BPOV-

I had been sitting there for a full fifteen minutes and I still couldn't get over how beautiful it was. The meadow was amazing! There were flowers blooming everywhere and the only trees were the ones surrounding it so the little sun there was in Forks shined down on us unhampered.

"So we moved down here." Edward finished.

He had been telling me all about his life in Alaska and why they had had to move down here. It seems our local hospital had been in desperate need of skilled doctors and Edward's father had risen to the call of duty.

"So he just dropped everything and came to help?" I asked.

Edward shrugged as if this was nothing out of the norm. he picked at the grass while we sat there and I had my hands braced behind me so that the sun could shine on my face. I was taking full advantage of the sunlight while it lasted. Knowing Forks it wouldn't last long.

"That's just how my father is." Edward explained. "He sees a need and he fills it. He's a very selfless person."

He sighed and mumbled something that sounded like, "I wish I were."

I am certain he did not mean for me to hear it. But I did.

"Edward!" I exclaimed.

He looked up at me, taken off guard by my sudden outburst.

"You are a great deal like your father. I could tell just from when I met him at the hospital."

He cringed at the mention of my visit to the hospital but I pretended not to notice.

"And you are very selfless."

He rolled his eyes and I smacked his arm.

"You are!" I can tell you are just by the way you watch out for Alice and you're always saving me from one catastrophe or another."

I was tempted to bring up the "incident" with the van but I knew that that would simply hurt him more than anything so I bit my tongue.

"That is not the same thing."

I gave him a look and stubbornly crossed my arms over my chest in a way that oddly reminded me of Alice.

"And why not?" I demanded.

"Because I care a great deal for you and Alice. I would never forgive myself if I was not to look out for you. Therefore it is turned back into a selfish action."

I huffed.

"Or maybe you caring so much and feeling remorse if something bad ever happened to Alice is just more proof that you are selfless and thoughtful and caring!" I cried, exasperated.

Why couldn't he see this? He did not see himself clearly, that is for sure.

"I would feel remorse if anything bad ever happened to you as well." He whispered. "Not only Alice."

I blushed and looked down at my feet for a moment. I loved thinking that Edward cared so much for me but I didn't want to get my hopes up with unrealistic expectations. He was a good friend. Besides it was simply in his character to protect others. He was a protector by nature. I could tell.

I sat up straighter and crossed my legs Indian style.

"So what do you miss most about Alaska?" I asked, trying to change the subject before I got too depressed.

He grinned and sat up on the grass in front of me, mirroring my pose.

"The northern lights."

My eyes widened and he chuckled.

"You got to see that?"

I had always loved reading about the northern lights and of course I knew you could see them from Alaska but I hadn't ever thought about someone getting to witness something so majestic.

"Of course! They are beautiful." He sighed. "Almost the most beautiful sight I have ever seen."

"What could be more beautiful than the northern lights?" I asked skeptically.

I had only seen pictures of them and they took my breath away. I couldn't even imagine how breathtaking in real life. I was positive that after seeing them in person everything would pale in comparison.

Edward quickly looked down and ran a hand through his hair.

"Nothing." he whispered and I looked at him questioningly but when he didn't explain further I dropped it.

"I wish I could see them." I said and it ended up coming out with a dreamy undertone. I had always wanted to see them.

"Maybe you will someday." Edward replied, smiling slightly to himself.

I grinned back.

"Yeah. Maybe." I sighed. "So did you ever think of visiting again? Alice said you had more family and friends up there?"

He cleared his throat and ran his hand through his hair again. I was starting to recognize this as a nervous gesture of sorts. Why would visiting again make him nervous?

I frowned. Sometimes I wished that we could just read each other's minds.

"Actually the plan was for me to move back there for a short time after graduation before I leave for college…"

I felt my stomach drop. Edward was leaving? He couldn't leave me! I felt a shear pang of panic course through me.

"Oh…" I said shakily.

I was trying to sound as normal as I could but it wasn't working very well for me. I couldn't imagine living here without him. He was the only person I had been able to open up to about Zach. He was the only person who knew of my secret guilt. And he was the only one who made me momentarily forget that sometimes and feel like I could actually breath again. He couldn't leave me!

"How long?" I asked.

He shrugged and his face looked sad as well.

"A year or so before I go to college."

I thought about that for a while before realizing I couldn't breath.

"Was?" I croaked.

He looked confused.

"What?"

I blinked around my tears, willing them not to fall.

"You said the plan was…"I tried to finish the sentence but I couldn't bring myself to say he was leaving out loud.

He looked at me for a second and then he frowned.

"I did. Didn't I?"

I nodded weakly. I could feel my throat tighten and I bit my lip, trying to control myself but I couldn't imagine yet another person I loved being taken away from me. Don't I ever get a say in the matter?

Wait. Love? I swallowed around the knot in my throat as I realized the truth. I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. And he was leaving me.

I waited for him to say something more but he just kept his frown focused on some random point in the distance.

-EPOV-

I had said the plan was. Was?! I had already let this go too far. I couldn't leave her… but I couldn't give up my entire plan for a woman I had known for a little less than a month could I?

I had no idea what I was doing anymore. I spent a good portion of our time together at the meadow attempting to think of a way that I could have Bella and not have to change my goals. Maybe I had been going about this the wrong way. I had been attempting to stay away from Bella so I wouldn't hurt her when I had to leave but I realized it was too late. And she wouldn't be the only one in pain when I left now. The thought of leaving her was unbearable.

I sighed in frustration and pulled my hands through my hair. Maybe Bella wouldn't be hurt in the least when I left. Perhaps she did not care for me the way I cared for her. I had no way of knowing. Maybe she really did wish us to simply be friends. I thought back to the lyrics of the song she inspired and my throat burned with a pain I had never known before. I was ashamed to admit it, even to myself, but the thought of Bella not caring for me hurt almost as badly as the thought of having to leave her did.

My phone rang, making both me and Bella jump. She had been silent for the last several minutes as well. Whether it was because she was lost in thought or because she was respecting my silence I had not the slightest idea.

"Hello?"

"Edward! Where are you?!"

I sighed.

"Calm down Alice. I am at the meadow."

Everyone knew I loved to spend time in my meadow. I had found it shortly after we moved here and I used it most of the time in the purpose of isolating myself. I had never brought anyone here before. As a matter of fact no one else even knew where it was located.

"Why?" Alice whined. "You should be home. It's movie night!"

I had actually completely forgotten that it was movie night. Alice and Emmett and I used to have movie night once a month when Alice had still lived in Alaska. When we moved here we had joyously resumed the tradition.

"I'm sorry Alice." I said and my guilt shone through in my voice.

I truthfully felt bad for forgetting.

"I kind of forgot."

I winced as I prepared myself for the inevitable.

"Edward!" Alice screeched. "How could you forget? We have done this on the same night every month for the last two years!"

All very true and her anger was justifiable. I had been out of it a lot recently.

"I am very sorry." I repeated my apologies, hoping this would be enough.

Silence.

"I'll buy food on the way home." I bribed.

More silence.

"I'll pick up the newest fashion magazine while I am at the grocery store." I vowed as a last resort.

Bella giggled and I turned my attention to her automatically. I smiled at her, glad she was happy again. For a moment it had looked as if she were going to cry which would not have been tolerable.

She grinned back seemingly amused by my groveling.

"Okay!" Alice chirped from the other end making my grin widen.

The fashion magazine always worked effectively with Alice.

"You are forgiven Edward. Under one more condition."

I frowned and looked at the phone before sighing, which she took as my acceptance. I was slightly curious as to what else she could want. It had never taken anything but the fashion magazine to placate her in the past. She must be up to something.

"You have to ask Bella to come as well."

I smirked.

"Just a second."

I heard her huff. She was probably thinking I needed a second to think over her demands.

"Hey Bella?" I said, smirking.

"Yes Edward?" she played along.

Yes. She was most definitely finding great amusement from this.

"Alice would like to know if you would like to join us tonight for movie night."

I smiled pleasantly at her and she feigned contemplation.

"hmm… I don't know." She sighed wistfully, tapping her chin.

"I'd have to call Charlie I suppose."

I chuckled.

"She says she'll have to call Charlie first." I directed the conversation back to Alice.

Alice shrieked.

"You're with Bella now?!"

I pulled the phone from my ear to protect my eardrums.

"Yes."

"Bella Swan? Brown curly hair? Big doe eyes?"

I laughed.

"Yes."

"The Bella Swan you are most definitely in love with?! Because you never take anyone to that dang meadow!"

I sighed and shook my head.

"We'll be there soon Alice."

"Admit it!" She chirped excitedly.

"Good bye."

"I knew it you know! Just ask Emmett. That first day she came to school I said there was"

"I'm hanging up now Alice." I cut her off calmly.

I knew all about what she had said that first day and she should be thankful for her luck since I was not yet seeking revenge for planting that idea in my head. Things would be so much easier if what she said were false.

---

"Hey Char- Dad."

We had made it back to the Volvo in record time and I was now watching Bella as she spoke to her father on the phone, something that she found highly irritating. She kept turning to scowl at me or stick her tongue out.

I grinned angelically as she turned once more to shoot me a look.

"Well I was thinking of going to the Cullen's. Alice invited me over for movie night."

She rolled her eyes at something he had said.

"Yes Dad. I'm sure there will be supervision."

She looked so adorable when she was being indignant. She sighed and bit her bottom lip.

"Are you sure Dad? Do you need me to come home real quick and fix you something to eat first?"

I smiled to myself. She called me selfless? She had been through so much and then she had to move her entire life to a little town that she had shown no particular desire to call home and she was worrying about what her father was going to eat for dinner? She was amazing.

She laughed at something Chief Swan had said and I marveled at the sound.

"I'm sorry. I don't doubt your ability to cook. You mastered the hungry man frozen dinners long before I arrived…bye Dad." She giggled.

I pulled onto the highway.

"I'm guessing he approved?"

She shrugged.

"Yeah… he tries to act scary but he's a good guy."

She said the last fragment of her sentence quietly to herself and when I looked over she was smiling.

"It must be odd attempting to reacquaint yourself with your father after all of these years." I commented, hoping I wasn't overstepping any boundaries.

She just smiled at me and nodded.

"it is. But I'm glad I get a second chance."

As soon as she said this she looked down at her hands and she was back to biting her lip. I was afraid she was going to break the skin with the way she had been abusing her poor lips all day. I reached one hand off of the steering wheel and tilted her chin up so she had to look at me.

"What's wrong?" I asked, worried.

I hoped to sooth her rather than to make her angry with all of my prying.

She sighed.

"I just wish I were down here under better circumstances." she whispered.

"Everything is going to be okay." I said sincerely.

I couldn't bare to see her in pain.

"I promise." I vowed.

A ghost of a smile lit up her features.

"Okay." She said simply.

I smiled, glad to see she was so trusting of me.

(AN: this is not how I pictures the meadow scene at all! I was actually planning on them getting together in this chapter but I started writing and this is what came out. Lol. I think this one worked out better anyways. I hope you liked it! I'm going to try to get as many chapters up as I can today while I have access to the computer so stay tuned. Please read and review)