The phone makes it through a split second of ringing before Esme has it in her hand. She flips it open and holds it out to me. Although my entire body is trembling uncontrollably, I take it from her, holding it close to my ear but slightly angled outward so that Esme can hear more easily.
"Hello?" My voice is trembling along with my body. I grip the phone tighter, trying to still myself.
"Bella? Are you alright?" It is a voice but not the voice I most long to hear. Esme wraps her arm around my waist in obvious relief.
"We're alright, Carlisle, but what's going on? Is everyone OK? Is Edward OK?" The trembling in my voice is replaced with a fierce desperation.
"Everyone is alright. We are unharmed." He pauses. I don't know what this pause could mean; he said everyone was alright. "Bella, I don't know how to say this to you." His words seem ominous, but his voice...it just doesn't match. He seems wary, but there is also awe in his words.
"Please Carlisle, just say it, whatever it is. I can handle it." Can I?
I hear the resolve is his voice, the practiced doctor talking to concerned loved ones. "Edward has been through a lot in the past 48 hours. He has been in pain, but most of it has subsided now. He's...resting." I only hear the word pain. Pain from what? From fighting with his brothers? I have caused this pain, I'm sure of it.
"Can I talk to him?" I need to hear my husband's voice. I need to tell him I love him, that I'm sorry.
"Not right now, he's...well, Bella, he's unconscious."
The hysteria erupts out of my mouth. "What!? Carlisle, what's going on? How is he unconscious? Can that happen? To vampires?" I cannot fathom what he's telling me.
"No, not normally to vampires, no. But Bella, I believe Edward is...it's a miracle, Bella...I...
"Carlisle, just say it." He needs to just tell me. He sounds excited, exhausted and overwhelmed, but somehow elated. How?
"Human, Bella. Edward's human."
There is silence. Silence everywhere. I know my heart is pounding, but I can barely hear it. I can barely feel it as Esme leads me to the bed and gently makes me sit down. I hear Carlisle's words, but they make no sense. How can his words be true, when he is saying things I have never even dreamt were possible.
"I don't understand, Carlisle."
"I don't understand it myself, Bella, but it's happening. I have theories. I think you may have some genetic resistance to vampire abilities, considering your immunity against vampire powers that involve your mind. When James bit you, I think maybe it was like a booster vaccine. It heightened your resistance. When Edward bit you, that resistance was somehow passed to him, and his long dormant immune system fought against his vampirism. Fought and won, I think."
I cannot speak. There are no words.
Esme gently takes the phone from me.
"We'll be there in 20 minutes," she says.
The car ride back to the Cullen's house, our house, is another blur, the second time in the past two days where time ceased to exist and my memory failed me. Later Esme told me that I had simply stared out the window, tears streaming down my face, hands wringing in my lap. She had been scared, which I felt sorry for. I didn't mean to scare her. I must have retreated into some corner of my mind where things, where life, still made sense, to a time before Carlisle was claiming the impossible.
The first thing I remember is our bedroom door, standing at it, willing myself to put my hand on the knob and turn. To go in. To see him, what, sleeping? To hear his heart beating? To feel a warm hand in mine? I want all of these things, and I am so scared they are an illusion. I am so scared they won't last.
I finally take a steadying breath, turn the knob and go in. Esme is behind me. It's dark except for a small, weak lamp next to the bed, but the bed is not in it's normal place. It has been pushed into a far corner of the room, as far away as possible from the shattered window, now covered with plastic.
Figures move in the darkness. First, Alice is in front of me. She is unusually quiet but hugs me fiercely, almost knocking what shallow breath I have out of me.
"It's alright Bella. He's going to be alright. All is well," she whispers so quietly after what seems to be many minutes, tucking strands of hair behind my ears.
Alice moves to Esme, and I gasp slightly as Jasper gently places a hand on my arm. He's silent, but I immediately feel his calm, his sense of hope.
Emmet and Rosalie come to me as well. Emmett defies the hushed, still room and give one sharp, yet muted laugh before pulling me roughly into a hug. "Life with you never ceases to be exciting, does it Bella?" And Rosalie, well, Rosalie hesitates. Our eyes meet, and her look is complicated. She isn't ready to take all of this in, it says.
At last, I move towards the bed. The light is so dim, and my eyes are endlessly welling up, but I can just make out a mass of tousled, copper hair on a pillow, and a figure that must be Carlisle sitting next to the bed. Carlisle looks up at Esme and I as we approach. He is at us in two strides and has first Esme and then me in his arms.
He takes one of our hands in each of his. I can see Edward's prostrate form in my peripheral vision, but it is too much; I cannot look at him yet. He is a mirage I am afraid will disappear.
"This is a lot to take in, I know," Carlisle says quietly. I know he speaks mostly to me. "He's still unconscious, and I don't think we should try and wake him. His body...needs to recover. I have him on IV fluids to try and restore some blood volume, and his heart rate and respiration are high but still within normal limits considering the stress his body has been under."
I nod, staying focused on Carlisle. "I have so many questions..." I manage to choke out in a whisper, "I still don't understand how this happened, and you s-said, on the phone earlier, that he was in pain?" I shudder. I hate the idea.
"He was, Bella, for a time." Carlisle frowns. "But there will be time for questions later. Sit with him, be with him for a while. On some level, he'll know you're here, and I think that will be good for him." With a final squeeze, Carlisle gently releases my hand, using it to pull Esme closer to his side.
"We'll be close," he says as they move into the darkness of the room.
And then Edward and I are alone. As I take the few steps to bring me closer to the bed, I feel a million emotions overwhelm me. Love, of course. Always love. I would love Edward, this man, in any form. Relief. Relief that despite the uncertainty of what lies ahead, Edward is safe. His family is safe. Happiness, even wild elation that Edward and I are finally in the same world, the same realm. No, it isn't the future we expected, it is not even a future either of us thought was possible, but I find myself unexpectedly excited by our new possibilities.
But the minute these feelings wash through me, something cuts them off. Fear. What if this is not the future Edward wants? My heart starts to thud in my ears, filling the silence of the room. How could I have possibly thought that Edward would want this? This clumsy, slow existence as a human after the speed and grace of being a vampire? My hands are clammy, and I feel a dizzying panic rise in my throat. And the loss of his immortality? He is now just as fragile and breakable as me, and someday...he will die. I know that even death cannot separate us, but I know Edward has different feelings about the future of his soul. How could I have ever thought that Edward would want to be human?
"Calm down, Bella," I whisper to myself, closing my eyes against the panic. Edward and I will work through this. Maybe if he wants to turn back...We can try. I'll talk to Carlisle. Maybe this strange immunity Carlisle has spoken of won't last...maybe Edward can be changed back, if that's what he wants. But I cannot shake the despair I feel at this possibility. I have never even considered a human future with Edward, but now that it's possible, I want it badly.
But more than that, I want Edward.
I come to the edge of the bed. Looking down, I see Edward's hand resting above the gold comforter, can hear his quiet but rapid breathing. I reach a hand out to touch his, and I let my fingertips run along the back of his hand, savoring the warmth. I try to wall off the pleasure at that feeling. Now that I feel certain Edward will not want to stay human, I try so hard not to love that warmth. To not imagine how it would feel to have the entire length of his warm body pressed against mine. Before I can stop myself, I let my fingers trail up his arm, to his left shoulder, then to that spot over his chest that I have never given much attention to. I bend to press my ear to it, listening to his heart's steady, strong rhythm. It is the most beautiful sound in the world.
"Edward," I breathe as I raise my eyes to his face. Not meaning to wake him, but just needing to say his name out loud. To hear it. "I'm here." I take his warm hand in mine.
He stirs in his sleep. "Bella..."